Rating:
PG-13
House:
Riddikulus
Ships:
Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Characters:
Blaise Zabini Draco Malfoy Pansy Parkinson
Genres:
Humor Mystery
Era:
The Harry Potter at Hogwarts Years
Stats:
Published: 10/09/2006
Updated: 10/09/2006
Words: 1,316
Chapters: 1
Hits: 1,594

Draco Malfoy and the Thing Inside

vickevire

Story Summary:
Draco is bothered by a distressing issue. It makes him push over coffeepots, try to avoid Harry Potter, and sneak out in the middle of the night with friends and minions. Especially funny if you like slash :D

Chapter 01 - Draco Malfoy and the Thing Inside

Chapter Summary:
Draco is bothered by a distressing issue. It makes him push over coffeepots, try to avoid Harry Potter, and sneak out in the middle of the night with friends and minions.
Posted:
10/09/2006
Hits:
1,594
Author's Note:
The words of my beta-readers are worth their weight in gold. Thank you, Melissa and Zaphod Beeblebrox


Draco Malfoy and the Thing Inside

Oh no, Draco thought faintly. It's happening again.

He felt his eyes grow large and glazed. Please, don't let anyone notice, he begged silently. His gaze followed Potter as the boy blew his hair out of his eyes, causing Draco to sigh. Dreamily.

GHAAA!!!

Draco wanted to bang his head on the table until something cracked. Or, perhaps poke his eyes out with a fork. The embarrassing truth was that he couldn't even avert them to see if anyone noticed his appalling behavior. He desperately chanted 'This Is Not Me' over and over again, until he finally got a hold of himself. Unfortunately, half the Slytherin table was already staring at him since he had jerked violently and knocked over the coffeepot - he was probably mumbling under his breath, too. Oh well. He haughtily eyed the waiting crowd, took a deep breath, and stood.

"I," Draco announced, "am sick."

Draco felt all eyes on him and smiled graciously. Time to deny the horde his enticing presence and leave. If only that distressing issue would solve itself. At least, Draco contented himself with, he now had a dramatic secret to tease Blaise and Pansy with.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Draco strode down the corridor with swift and purposeful steps. His plan was to get safely and undisturbed to his dorm, where he could bury himself under his quilts and woe his fate. Maybe call Dobby, and make him bring some caffeinic hot chocolate. He bet he was the only one who had his own personal house-elf with him at Hogwa-

"Malfoy!" someone shouted, interrupting his thoughts. Not someone, at that, but SOMEONE. As in Harry-fucking-Potter.

Bugger.

And Greg and Vince was still eating, making his protection procedure (ordering them to trip Potter to enable his escape) useless. Bugger, bugger, bugger!

Potter grabbed his arm and spun him around. He. Touched. Me. Draco thought that with horror and disgust, NOT anticipation. No. Not, not not not!

"Well?" Potter demanded, voice quivering with anger. Quivering. If you throw your arms around him you would feel him vibrating with... energy.

"Um. What?" Draco croaked.

"What. Are. You. Playing. At." Potter was practically gritting it out between his teeth, waving a letter at him. Ooooooh. Look at the anger! You know what that means. Sexual frustrat-

Wait a minute... A letter?!

"Uhhhhh," Draco wailed, in terror. Writing that letter had only been a dream! A nightmare. A horrible, horrible nightmare!

Potter looked at him with a perplexed expression. "Are you sick or something?"

Draco nodded his head frantically. He was very, very sick. Now, go away. Please, please, please.

Potter didn't.

Crap.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Greg and Vince finally found him as he was staggering towards the infirmary, ushered forward by a confused, but still determined Potter.

Luckily, his goons knew what to do without any vocal help from Draco, since all he could utter was monosyllabic and, quite frankly, incomprehensible.

Draco almost cried in relief as they made their way back to the dungeons. Maybe he should up Greg's and Vince's pay; after this they certainly earned three-fourths of his weekly sweets from mother... What was he thinking? They had left him alone to begin with! Stupid pillocks. He was clearly delirious with relief.

Well. One thing was obvious. This... situation... had to be sorted out. Immediately.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The light emitting from Draco's wand made Pansy's and Blaise's eyes gleam ghostly. The midnight hour had just started, and they had all obligingly come when he called. Well, Pansy was the only one who actually had to move to get to the dorm, but no matter. She and Blaise sat on the foot of his bed, Greg and Vince had returned to their own beds after throwing Teddy out on his face. (That would teach him not to call Draco "Dray".) Besides, those two wouldn't fit on his bed anyway.

"So, Draco, darling, what was with the display at dinner?" Blaise smiled innocently at him. The bastard! How dare he speak first?! Draco was the one in control, dammit. He narrowed his eyes and glared at Blaise. Pansy saved the situation by elbowing Blaise in the ribs.

"Owww!"

"Just get on with the show, Draco."

Draco huffed. Very well. He lifted his chin and slowly surveyed his audience before dropping the bomb.

"I'm possessed," he said in suitably low and chilly tones.

Pansy snorted. "Tell us something we didn't know."

Oh, that did it. Not bothering with words, Draco grabbed the pillow lying in his lap and swung it violently at Pansy. She shrieked and flailed with her arms, but still toppled off the bed. Blaise howled with laughter, and Draco smiled smugly. Vincent was mesmerized by certain rearrangements that occurred to Pansy's pajama's top. Sadly, for him (and Draco), Pansy didn't stay on the floor for long.

"Arrggg, get off me! Mad woman. Help!"

"Oooh, cat fight."

"Don't touch my hair."

"Say you're sorry, Draco."

"My hair!!!"

Greg got out a stash of snacks. Vincent lumbered over to him. "You missed Pansy's top riding up" he said, chewing. Greg shrugged.

Eventually the scuffle settled down. Draco and Pansy resumed their previous positions. Draco shot a glare at his unhelpful minions while combing his mussed hair. Time to get back to business.

"I'm serious. I've already booked time for an exorcist."

"Oh, come on," Pansy scorned.

"Tonight?" Blaise asked, teeth gleaming.

Draco smiled slowly. "Of course."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tendrils of glowing smoke weaved through the dusky air, almost as if they had a will of their own. Also, apparently without any concern to the term "personal space", Draco grumbled, as the smoke drifted down, eerily, and looped lazily around him. His hair would smell absolutely vile after this. The exorcist was swaying in her seat, mumbling unintelligibly and holding Draco's hand. Ugh. This had been going on for more than half an hour now. Frankly it was boring. His hand had almost fallen asleep. Was it really necessary for her to clutch his hand THAT hard? Ugh.

Finally the damned witch opened her eyes. Only the sound of Greg (or Vince) eating Cockroach Clusters disturbed the quiet. The exorcist gave a quelling look to the back of the room where Greg, Vince, Pansy, and Blaise slouched.

"Well?" ...are you going to let go, dammit?!

"Mr. Malfoy." The witch's eyes focused on Draco again, gleaming disturbingly. She seemed to be blushing faintly. Ugh. Draco really wanted her to let go of his hand now.

"This is the most extraordinary case of possession I've ever come across." Ha. He knew it, he knew it, he knew it! Pansy so lost that bet. Stupid bitch.

"...break it."

Oops. "Yes?" he asked hopefully. The exorcist just stared at him. Blaise snickered. Draco's heart flooded with black, black hate. He determinedly did not blush.

"I said 'I can't break it'," the witch replayed, irritated. "Ungrateful brat."

Draco decided he didn't hear the last bit in favor of focusing on the first. "WHAT?" Also, it was an opportune moment to free his hand. "I'm not living with this thing inside me!"

"Shhhh, young boy." The exorcist was firmly back in her professional role again. "There is a way. The spirit had a... ah..." The blush was creeping back to her cheeks. "A wish. Of sorts. Ehum."

"Well?"

"She had certain - ah - wishes. Yes. Ah... demands really, that need to... Um." Gods, this blushing was getting irritating. "She won't leave until those wishes have been fulfilled."

Another lengthy pause. Draco had had enough. "Get to the point already."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When they snuck back into Hogwarts, Professor Snape was waiting, looking extremely sour. Damn Teddy! He would p-a-y.

"Well. Did you learn anything useful?" Snape demanded icily.

Blaise giggled. Pansy bit the inside of her cheeks. Vincent and Greg said in unison:

"Hot boy on boy action!"

Draco decided to get really, really drunk.

THE END



If you want to, you can send me an owl or e-mail (lillavicke_vire[gnat]hotmail.com), telling me what YOU think is ailing Draco. It would be fun to see if anyone interprets it the way I do. :D Well, actually... you could do that in a review, too. I love reviews. Please review!