A Summer Visit

Lily Evans stared eagerly out of her living room window. She could feel her sister's glare. She turned around to see Petunia chewing her tongue, dying to say something terrible. Petunia didn't dare pick on her sister with their mother in the room. Lily grinned at Petunia and was certain she saw a vein throbbing in her older sister's forehead. Petunia could not believe that Lily had the nerve to invite her freak friends into their normal home. What was even more unbelievable was that their parents condoned this. They were even excited about it. They were proud of all that magic rubbish, but were not the least bit impressed that her boyfriend, Vernon was going to one of the finest private schools in Britain, Smeltings.

"Mum, they're here!" Lily squeaked excitedly, startling Petunia out of her train of thought. Petunia jumped to the window, checking to see if any of the neighbors were looking. Lily ran to the door, threw it open, and dashed out to the driveway. She was closely followed by her mother, Rose. Joseph Potter had driven James, Remus, Sirius, Peter and Annie in a station wagon. Teddy Figg, who had knowledge of both wizard and Muggle ways because his father was a wizard and his mother was a cat-loving Muggle, had set it up so the Potters could rent a car to travel to Lily's Muggle home.

"Hey, Lils," James called as his jumped out of the back door of the car. "We made it!"

"Finally!" Sirius commented as her got out behind James. He was closely followed by Remus, Annie, and Peter. They were all grinning broadly and staring in awe at the house. They all came from wizard families and had never seen a Muggle house. The experience was a real treat for them. This really amused Lily. She found it very funny that people who had grown up around magic could be so fascinated with the Muggle world.

"What took you so long?" she asked James. "I was getting worried."

"Dad wouldn't ask for directions," James snickered. "He isn't used too Muggle maps. I think mum was ready to strangle him."

"You must be Lily's mother!" Joseph Potter said holding out his hand to Rose. "I see the resemblance." Lily had inherited her mother's red hair and green eyes. "May I introduce my wife, Diana?"

"Pleased to meet you, Diana," Rose said shaking Diana's hand.

"Pleased to meet you," Diana replied with a smile.

"My husband is running an errand right now. He'd love to meet you. Won't you stay for some tea?" Rose asked.

"We'd be delighted!" Joseph replied, grinning broadly. He had never had tea in a Muggle. Diana chuckled at the excitement of her husband. The merriment of the group was interrupted by a shrill scream from the front porch. Petunia was pressed against the side of the house as though something was trying to attack her. Her eyes were bulging out of her heads. She was staring at Joseph and Diana. The children were all dressed like Muggles, but the parents were sporting brightly colored robes. Petunia frantically looked up and down the streets to see if any of the neighbors were watching. Lily rolled her eyes and sorted in disgust. Petunia was never so self-conscious whenever Marge Dursley showed up on the Evans' front porch, pulling her dress out of her massive rear end. Diana Potter started toward Petunia looking concerned.

"Are you alright dear?" she asked. Petunia gave Diana a disgusted look and darted back inside. James and Sirius pressed their hands tightly against their mouths to stifle fits of laughter. Lily was utterly horrified at Petunia's behavior toward the Potters. She snorted in disgust.

"Sorry about my daughter," Rose said. "Petunia's well..."

"Don't worry about it, Rose," Diana said with a smile.

"Shall we go inside?" Rose asked.

"That would be lovely," Diana replied.

The three adults and six children proceeded inside. Joseph Potter and Lily's five friends all stared around the house with the utmost interest. They took in the television, the record player and every other Muggle device. Lily imagined that she and her mother must have worn the same expression the first time they stepped into Diagon Alley.

"Have a seat, everyone," Rose said. "I'll get the tea and biscuits."

"Let me help you," Diana said as she followed Rose to the kitchen. The two women returned a minute later with a tray each. Every quietly took their share. Joseph broke the ice.

"So, Rose, I hear that Lily is at the top of charms. You must be very proud."

Rose smiled with surprise. "You never told me you were at the top of charms, Lily."

Lily blushed and shrugged. "Well, I certainly am very proud!"

"James is at the top of Transfiguration, Remus is the best at Defense Against the Dark Arts, Sirius breezes through Astronomy, and Annie has us all beat in Herbology." Lily racked her brains for something nice to say about Peter, but was unsuccessful.

"Well we have a room full of magical geniuses here!" Rose said. "I must get this on film." Rose stood up and walked over to the bureau where she pulled out a Super-8 camera.

"Wow!" Joseph exclaimed. "A Muggle camera!"

"That's a motion picture camera," Lily told him.

"Muggles have figured out how to make pictures move without magic? Amazing. Muggles really are a lot more clever than many of our kind give them credit for," Joseph said peering into the lens of the Super-8 Rose was holding. Rose proceeded to wind up the camera and panned around the living room. James and Sirius showed Rose their most interesting poses. Lily and Annie giggled. Rose handed the camera to an eager Joseph. He examined it excitedly.

"I'd like to know more about the wizard community," Rose said. "I found Diagon Alley utter fascinating, but that was only one place. Tell me about Quidditch. Lily says it's like rugby on broomsticks."

"What's rugby?" Joseph asked.

"Quidditch without broomsticks, right Lily?" Sirius said.

"And without Bludgers." Lily said. James and Remus snickered.

"I think I'd love to see a Quidditch match," Rose said. Joseph scratched his untidy hair thoughtfully.

"They always have Muggle repellent charms on them, but they can be overcome with force of mind. I could get tickets. I played for the Chudley Cannons when James was little."

"That would be wonderful!" Rose exclaimed. Just then, the conversation was interrupted by the doorbell. Rose got up to answer it.

"Your mum's really cool!" James whispered to Lily.

"Thanks," Lily replied. "Your parents are great too." Lily's confidence in the situation quickly evaporated when she realized who was at the door. It was non other than Vernon Dursley.

"Hello, Mrs. Evans. Is Petunia home?"

"Why yes she is, Vernon. Do come in," Rose said with phony pleasantness. "Petunia, Vernon's here!" she called. Petunia came running down the stairs. She stopped at the bottom and stared around the room in horror as she saw that the Potters were still the in their brightly colored robes.

"Oh bother!" Lily hissed. "There goes the nice afternoon."

"It'll be alright, Lily," James whispered.

"What if Vernon's rude to your parents?" Lily asked.

"They won't care, don't worry about that," James reassured her.

"Yeah, if he is rude, we'll teach him a lesson," Sirius added.

"And if he isn't rude, we'll teach him a lesson," Remus said with a mischievous grin. Sirius raised an eyebrow at him. "I want to have some fun when we can't get detention and what better way to have fun than teaching a lesson to a bullying git!" The friends all stifled laughs.

"Vernon, I'd like you to meet Joseph and Diana Potter," Rose said. Diana and Joseph both stood up shake hands with Vernon.

"Pleasure," he grunted as he glared at their robes and Joseph's untidy hair.

"And this is their son, James. He is friend of Lily's from Hogwarts." Rose continued. Vernon gaped at her. He was shocked that she was so casual about having such freaks in her home. How could Petunia's mother buy into all that wizard rubbish? Magic indeed!

"And this is Remus Lupin," Remus grinned at Vernon and nodded. "This is Sirius Black," Sirius clasped both of his small hands around Vernon's massive right hand and shook vigorously. Vernon looked both angered and horrified that such a weirdo had dared to touch him. "This is Peter Pettigrew and this is Annie Spinnet." Rose appeared to be enjoying herself very much. "The Potters are very interested in Muggles," Petunia shuddered at her mother's use of such a nonsense word. "You really must tell them about your school. Vernon goes to one of the finest Muggle schools in England," Rose added to Diana and Joseph.

"Really?" Joseph asked. "Well I must hear all about it." Vernon eyed Joseph. He might as well tell them. Perhaps it would do them some good to hear about a normal school.

"I go to Smeltings," Vernon said taking a seat. Sirius quickly leaned forward and put his face in his hands. He was shaking with silent laughter. Vernon didn't seem to notice.

"At Smeltings," Vernon continued as Sirius began to shake even more. "They teach us to be tough. It's a dog eat dog world out their and in business you have to be ruthless," Vernon pounded his fist on the side his chair. "They don't allow any nancy-boy behavior at Smeltings, no sir." With that Sirius fell out of his chair.

"Sirius!" James exclaimed pretending to be startled. "Are you alright?" Sirius pressed his face to the floor. He was still laughing too hard to answer. "Excuse me, Mrs. Evans. But could you tell me where the-er-you know..."

"Oh, down the hall and too the left, dear," Rose replied kindly.

"Thanks," James answered. "Sorry about this. Sirius has a condition." Sirius snorted into the carpet. The sound was amplified because his nose was pressed so hard to the floor. James gave him a kick in the ribs.

"Here, I'll show you," Lily said getting up.

"Yeah, you could probably use some help," Remus joined in. He had been biting very hard on the side of his cheek. His eyebrows were raised to his hairline.

"This is Sirius we're talking about," added Annie. "He needs all the help he can get!"

"You can say that again," Peter chimed in. He grabbed a pillow and pressed it to Sirius' mouth to stifle the laughter. James grabbed Sirius by his arms and Remus took his feet. Lily and Annie walked ahead as the boys awkwardly made their way down the hall. When they made it to the bathroom, they all exploded with laughter.

"Hey, Remus," said Annie. "You reckon you could loan Sirius some of you self control?"

"I don't know if I should," Remus answered massaging his cheek. "Self control can be very painful."

"So can a lack of self-control," Sirius said as he began to massage his ribs. "So the great Vernon Dursley goes to a school called Smeltings!" The bathroom exploded with laughter.

"He has greasier hair than Snape!" Peter commented.

"You've got a point there, Peter," said James.

"He does that on purpose; He uses a Muggle product to keep his hair that way," said Lily.

"Why would anyone do that to their head on purpose?" Annie asked.

"I've lived with Muggles my entire life and I can't explain it," Lily replied.

"It's alright, Lily," Remus said. "We've lived with wizards our entire life and we can't explain why people like Snape don't wash their hair."

"Some people are just slimy gits!" said Peter.

"Actually, he reminds me more of Lucius Malfoy than of Snape," said Lily.

"What do you mean?" James asked.

"Well, Vernon thinks that he's better than everyone else. He's constantly flanked by his brainless cronies, he bullies people at his school and threatens them with action from his father; and he's threatened by anyone who could take his power away from him. Snape just hates us, but Malfoy looks down on everyone who isn't a rich pureblood."

"Yeah," Sirius said, finally able to lift himself off the floor. "I'll bet it was Malfoy who summoned those Dementors..." Sirius winced and quickly looked at Remus. He now knew why Remus had passed out that day and did not want to make his friend relive the experience. The tee-shirt Remus was wearing showed more skin than the robes his friends usually saw him in. Sirius could see the scar where the wolf had bitten him reach just past the collar. Remus shrugged and smiled. "Anyway," Sirius continued that really wasn't Snape's style. He just tries to get us expelled."

---------------------------------------------

A few hours later, James' parents had left and the six friends were sitting quietly in Lily's room working on summer essays. Sirius looked over and saw that Remus was looking over a non-school book. "Aren't you going to work on your Pixie essay?" Sirius asked him.

"I finished it a couple days ago," Remus shrugged. Sirius stared at his friend wide-eyed.

"How do you do it?"

"The same way you do Astronomy, " Remus replied with a grin.

"What are you reading about, Remus?" Annie asked peering over his shoulder.

"The Patronus charm," Remus answered showing Annie the page he was reading. Everyone looked at him sympathetically. Patronus charms were difficult for most fully trained wizards not named Albus Dumbledore.

"Are you going to get Professor Simmons to help you?" Lily asked. Remus snorted. Lily realized that it was a silly question to ask.

"You know I always assumed that Defense Against the Dark Arts would be...I don't know more practical. I mean Charms, Transfiguration, Herbology, Potions-all practical. Defense Against the Dark Arts, not practical!" Remus sighed. He had been so good at Defense Against the Dark Arts because he had done a lot of extra work. Professor Simmons taught his students very little. Most witches and wizards who were really skilled at fighting dark creatures and dark magic were out in the world putting their skills to good use. "We can't actually practice any magic until we get back to school anyway so I figured I'd better learn the theory before I actually try it."

"How are you going to try to conjure a Patronus when Dumbledore won't let any Dementors near the school?" James asked.

"Dunno," Remus replies leaning wistfully against the wall.

"What about a Boggart?" Lily suggested.

"Yeah!" Sirius chimed in. "I'm sure if we combed the castle we could find one. I bet Filch has loads of them lurking around his office."

"That's a good idea," Remus said appreciatively to his friends. "But Boggarts always turn into the moon when they see me. It's funny really. A Boggart moon is not remotely frightening. It's not like I'm going to transform! Not that I'm complaining."

"Well, we have five weeks," said Annie. She gave Remus' shoulder a squeeze. "We'll think of something."

"Yeah," said James. "McGonagall says we're the cleverest students in the school. I say we live up to it."

"She said that?" Lily asked.

"Yeah," James said with a grin. "I-er-accidentally overheard her telling Flitwick the morning we left." Remus smiled at his friends. It had become easier to find happy memories since he met them. At that moment he had no doubt that he would learn to conjure up a strong Patronus. He believed that he might never have to relive the wolf ripping into him again.

"They're weirdos, the lot of them," a voice carried from the hallway. Lily groaned. Vernon and Petunia were back. The six friends strained to hear what was being said. "The nerve of those Potters; dressing like that in a normal neighborhood. That Mr. Potter looked like some hippie nancy boy!"

"I know," Petunia's shrill voice carried. "And my mother just welcoming them here with open arms!" James could see the couple standing at the other end of the hallway. Lily could see his face turning very red. James could take people throwing insults at him, but he had a tendency to lose his temper when people spoke ill of his friends and family. Lily exchanged a nervous glance with Remus. Peter was looking anxiously at James.

"Wizards indeed! They're just a lot of no good scoundrels who can't hack it in the real world. Don't worry Petunia. It's not your fault your sister's got something strange about her. Some people are just bad apples even in the best of families."

"I know Vernon. I guess Lily's just a freak and there's nothing I can do about it."

James was shaking from head to toe with anger. "She shouldn't say that about you or let that fat git talk like that about you, Lily. You're her sister."

"It's alright, James. I really don't care. I stopped caring a long time ago."

"Her friends are all scruffy and scrawny; the lot of them. Well, at least that Peter boy has some meat on his bones." Vernon said. Peter went the color of the Gryffindor team's robes.

"If he's paying me a compliment," Peter said. "I've never been so insulted in my life!" Sirius snickered.

"They're all good-for-nothing!" Vernon continued. "They'll probably all meet a sticky end-the lot!" Suddenly, a loud tearing of fabric echoed in the hallway. "What the?"

"Oops!" said James. His hand flew to his mouth. "I think I accidentally shrank his trousers!" Everyone carefully peered into the hallway to see Vernon clasping his massive bottom.

"Er Petunia, I have to go." The whole house shook as Vernon ran down the stairs and out the door trying to hold his trousers together. The six friends all found blankets, pillows, or stuffed animals to stifle their laughter.

"That was a good start to the lesson we're going to teach him," Sirius said. "I learned a few useful spells that might further his education."

"Sirius, you can't do magic away from Hogwarts; especially around Muggles," Remus told him.

"Since when did you like spoiling my fun, Moony?"

"Since when did you like doing things the easy way, Sirius?" Remus asked with a mischievous grin. Sirius raised his eyebrows. "James, you didn't happen to bring a certain invisibility cloak, did you?"

"I think I just might have," James answered rubbing his hands together.

"I don't think it would be very nice of us to put any stink pellets in this house after Mrs. Evans has been so kind to us, but it would be a shame to see the pellets Teddy picked up for us at Zonkos go to waste...They do lose their potency after a while, and allowing them to lose their potency would be a poor way to repay Teddy after all he has done for us." Remus said as he paced back and forth across the room.

"What do you have in mind, Moony?" Peter asked eagerly.

"Well, Vernon will be here for dinner tonight. I say one has to go to the bathroom. We could have Teddy give another person a phone call. The rest of us keep Vernon and Petunia distracted while the two who have left sneak out under the invisibility cloak to plant the sink pellets in the car."

"I'll go to the bathroom," Sirius volunteered. "They already think I have a-er-condition"

"Why don't you take the phone call, Lily," Annie suggested. "You and Teddy talk on the phone all the time anyway, so it won't look suspicious. You can also keep Sirius under control."

"Hey, no one can keep me under control," Sirius said. "I can try to behave for a few minutes but we'll have to work quickly!"

"I'll call Teddy right now and tell him the plan. I just hope he isn't out with Arabella. Sometimes they stay inside. Hopefully today is one of those days." Lily dashed down the hall.

"Do we have to stop at stink pellets?" Peter asked.

"What do you have in mind, Peter?" James asked. Sirius propped himself up on his elbows to listen.

"Well, I have some fizzing wizbees with me. We could combine them with the stink pellets so they go off when Vernon sits on them. We could put some in the passenger seat for Petunia just in case. They'll think they did it. It'll be a lesson in humility."

"How about an exploding snap game piece for noise?" Annie suggested.

"Brilliant!" Remus declared. "I brought my invisible book of invisibility. It's ruddy useless. We could tear out a couple pages to hide our little stink bombs in."

"Well, what are we waiting for?" Sirius asked jumping up. "Dinner's less than an hour away, let's get started."

"Get started on what?" Lily asked as she reentered the room.

"Did you get a hold of Teddy?" James asked.

"Yes, He'll call around 6:30. Get started on what?" Lily demanded grinning eagerly.

"We've decided to make a few modifications to the stink pellets." Remus said. He was looking through his trunk trying to find hid invisible book.

"Here are the fizzing wizbees," Peter declared as he held up the bag eagerly.

"I found the exploding snap!" Annie announced. For a brief moment Lily thought that Remus was doing some sort of mime act. The sound of pages ripping told the rest of the group that he had found his invisible book.

"As I was saying," James said. "Let's get started."

"Oh I can't wait to see this!" Lily grinned more broadly as she watched her friends invent a new product for Zonkos.

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Sirius Black had never exhibited such good manners in his entire life. He was very courteous to Rose and Greg Evans; always saying "please" and "thank you."

"Do you think we should owl St. Mungos?" James whispered to Remus. They both snickered.

"Only if this continues after September first. Then we should be really worried," Remus muttered under his napkin. Sirius continued to sit up strait, keep his elbows off the table, and chew with his mouth shut. James and Remus nearly fell out of their seats with fits of laughter. Annie and Lily had to continue to kick the two of them under the table. The two boys eventually forced themselves to stare at their plates. Petunia continually glared at Lily and her friends; chewing her tongue, desperate to call them names she would never dare use in front of her parents. Vernon's face purpled more and more as the dinner wore on. Having dinner with six freakish children was utterly unnerving for him. Several times, he made like he was about to throw an insult at them, but held back, showing bits of roast beef on the tablecloth. Rose was not too happy about her daughter's "well bred" boyfriend soiling her linen.

"Er-Mrs. Evans," Sirius said ten minutes into desert. "I need to use the little boys room." James and Remus stifled their snickering in their napkins. Lily and Annie did not bother to kick them under the table this time; the girls and Peter were following suit.

"Of course, dear," Rose answered with a kind smile.

"Thank you very much," Sirius answer back with a winning smile. He slowly pushed his chair back, stood up, and bowed to Rose. James has tears running down his face. Sirius strolled down the hall to the bathroom. He closed the door and opened the linen drawer where James had stuffed his invisibility cloak under some towels. It was still there. He made a mental note to himself to give both James and Remus a good kick in the butt. Their little fits of laughter had almost caused him to start laughing as well. Then again, he probably would have been laughing if the situation was reversed. Now all he had to do was wait for Lily.

The phone rang at 6:32. "I'll get it," Greg said as he stood up. He proceeded to the phone and picked it up. "Greg Evans...It's Teddy, Lily."

"Thanks, Daddy. I'll take it in the living room." Lily ran to the living room and picked up the phone. "Got it," she said. When she heard the click she asked: "What took you so long?"

"I'm only two minutes late. Besides, I thought it would look a little suspicious if I called exactly at 6:30." Teddy answered.

"That was good thinking, Teddy. Sorry I snapped at you. I'm just a little nervous."

"S'alright, Lils."

"I'm going to get Sirius now. Stay on the phone until I get back, okay."

"Alright, I want a full report."

"You got it." Lily put down the receiver and walked down the hall to the bathroom. She knocked the secret knock and Sirius opened the door. "Ready?"

"Yup!" Sirius grinned. The invisibility cloak was draped over his left arm while his right hand was gripping the invisible stink bombs, but not too hard.

"Let's go!" Lily said as she grabbed the invisibility cloak and threw it over herself and Sirius. They tiptoed down the hall and out the front door.

As James, Remus, and Annie saw the door to Vernon's car open by itself James decided to appeal to Vernon's ego. "Why don't you tell us more about Smeltings, Vernon; It sounds like a very fine school and we missed a lot of what you were saying this morning when Sirius' condition so rudely interrupted us."

"Well Smeltings is very exclusive. One boys from the best families get accepted..." Vernon began. Remus thought that Smeltings sounded like the Muggle version of Durmstrang. Vernon continued to talk and James continued to ask question as Remus and Annie intermittently glanced at the car. They soon saw the door close of its own accord.

Lily and Sirius quietly entered the living room and Lily slipped out from under the cloak. She picked up the receiver as Sirius headed down the hall toward the bathroom. She picked up the phone.

"Teddy?"

"I'm still here. Did everything go alright?"

"So far, so good. I'll call you back later and let you know how it went." Lily hung up the phone and went back to the kitchen.

"What did Teddy want?" James asked innocently.

"Advice on what to get Arabella for her birthday," Lily answered lightly as she sat down.]

"I really hope that Arabella has a good birthday," Remus said.

"I think it'll be great!" Lily answered.

"What'll be great?" Sirius asked as he reentered the room.

"Arabella's birthday present. Teddy called to asked for advice on what to get her while you were in the little boys room," Lily said with a grin. Vernon looked at his watch.

"Petunia, we'd better get going if we want to get to the movie," he said.

"Yes, we really ought to go," said Petunia as she and Vernon stood up.

"Thank you for a lovely dinner, Mrs. Evans," said Vernon.

"My pleasure," Rose answered with a forced smile.

"We'll see you out," Greg added. The four of them left the room. The six wizard friends watched through the window as Rose and Greg stood at the edge of the driveway to see the teenage couple off. As Petunia and Vernon got into the car, their faces were struck by expressions of utter horror and revulsion. They stared wide-eyed at each other and clapped their hands over their noses. The six young friends fell to the floor with uncontrollable laughter.