You Got Any Smores?

You Got Any S'mores?

It was Muggle Studies class, and Harry and Ron took their seats. They had decided to take Muggle Studies after they had quit Divination, Ron because he needed it, and Harry because he didn't want to miss the look on Ron's face when he saw a toaster.

"All right, class," said Professor Weirdopants, the Muggle Studies professor. "Today we are going to be studying Muggle camping. Now, does anyone know a Muggle tradition around the campfire?"

Harry raised his hand quickly. He felt a little like Hermione, but this was sooooo easy. He snickered at Ron, who looked confused.

"Yes, Mr. Potter?"

"S'mores," Harry said confidently. Sure, he had never had one, but Dudley had pigged out on them (as well as everything else in the world) frequently. Professor Weirdopants nodded.

"Good. Ten points to Gryffindor." Harry smiled to himself. If Professor Weirdopants was that generous every class, Gryffindor would be guaranteed the House Cup.

"S'mores are little sandwiches made out of graham crackers, marshmallows, and regular chocolate," Professor Weirdopants continued, "and I went to a Muggle store and bought these yesterday," he held up bags of graham crackers and marshmallows and a few Hershey bars, "so you guys could have some fun!"

Harry snorted. Of all the things he thought he would learn about at Hogwarts, s'mores were not one of them.

Professor Weirdopants proceeded to give them instructions. Harry kept giggling: he never would have had this much fun in Muggle school.

Ron and Harry conjured a fire and set to work roasting their marshmallows. Harry put his on his graham cracker, added chocolate, and put another graham cracker on top as he watched Ron struggle putting the marshmallow on the stick. Suddenly, Voldemort walked into the room.

Ron dropped his stick. Harry yelped and reached for his wand. But Voldemort did not attack. He said calmly, "I heard you were making s'mores. Can I have some?"

"What in bloody hell are you talking about?" Harry said. Voldemort looked confused.

"This is Muggle Studies, isn't it?"

Harry glanced at Professor Weirdopants, but he had fainted. Harry shrugged and said , "Yes."

"I've been trying to find some s'mores for years," Voldemort said.

"BUT YOU'VE BEEN KILLING PEOPLE WHILE THEY WERE AT IT!" Ron yelled.

"What? I've just been sending my dummy robots around. Look a lot like me, don't they? I programmed them to ask people for s'mores. People always seem to back off when I ask them myself."

Harry looked at Voldemort curiously. "Well -er- they've been malfunctioning. They're killing people."

"WHAT? I just wanted some s'mores!"

"Ah, well, big mistake," Harry said. "They've been killing people for 20 years."

"No! Really?"

Suddenly Harry had an idea. "I'll give you some s'mores if you promise to destroy the robots," he said.

"Really? You would? Gee, thanks."

Harry handed Voldemort 10 s'mores that he had conjured.

"Hey Voldie!" cried Seamus Finnigan from the other side of the room. "Why didn't you just conjure some?"

"I dropped my wand down a gutter a loooooooong time ago," Voldemort said. "I'm really clumsy." He stuffed a s'more in his mouth. "Mmm... finally," he said, savoring the flavor. "Fanks!" he said, stuffing another s'more in his mouth. He walked out the door.

"That was- interesting," said Ron. "Harry, what are robots?"

THE END