1,021 - 1,040 of 3,602 Stories

When Snape makes the students of Hogwarts test one of their potions, the results prove interesting... and, according to Harry, frightening.

A little peek into what the youngest Weasley is thinking of (and trying to work up the nerve to do) in the last few weeks before her fourth year at Hogwarts. A funny, cute and fluffy prologue to a H/G (and R/H!) fifth-year fic from Ginny's point of view.

So, the Author loses control of the story. Not a good thing to happen. You'll find out.

Arthur Weasley may like Muggle artifacts, but he's never had to shop like one before! A silly one-shot featuring Shopping!Arthur and Super Absorbent!Tampons.

Severus Snape confesses he is a Death Eater to Dumbledore. A parody :)

The Lupins, parents of six kids with wildly different skills and personalities, are in for the hardest night of their life when their kids go on a rampage and nearly claim their lives a hundred times!

Ask the DADA Teachers is an advice column. But it's a special advice column. They answer advice from people in Hogwarts! In this very out-of-character fic, you the reader can send in your own made-up stupid, goofy and wrong problems. The sky is the limit.

There is a little incident in potions class one day...involving our favorite potions teacher, poor Neville Longbottom, a nap and a -er- fly...

Oh my goodness! Hermione's a poor Cinderella! Lord Voldemort as a fairy? Hagrid's pumpkins? Harry's a prince?! And what is wrong with Harry's hair?! Find out in this exciting production at Hogwarts! What happens when wizards try to put on a Muggle play?

A hilarious story in which Harry Potter tries to hire a private detective, Spade Marlowe, to find his missing author, J.K. Rowling. The detective sits Harry down and gives him the facts of life about authors and the work they ``do, and about being a famous literary character. Written in the best traditions of Raymond Chandler and Dashiell Hammett, this fanfic is intended for those bellyaching fans who keep complaining that Ms. Rowling hasn't yet finished book five.

In 1959, teenagers Arthur and Molly catch the train to Hogwarts and discuss the permission slips they got at the end of last term. Not exactly a prequel to The Permission Slip, just part of a loose series of connected fanfics.

Severus proves his love for Hermione by going to meet her father. What happens when Severus gets his first check up?

After leading myself into a trap, I was thrown back into the 1940s. Perhaps it was a twist of fate? Yeah, more like 'twisted fate.' (As told by Hermione Granger.)

What's this 'MySpace' Dudley keeps blabbering on about? Harry, being his usual too-curious-for-his-own-good self investigates one day while the Dursleys are out.

Harry Potter meets Buffy the Vampire Slayer to fill up an otherwise plotless story. It has everything any fan of either storyline would want (according to me anyway).

The House-Elf Liberation Front strikes back...

When a mysterious magical accident turns Harry's mind back``to that of a three year old — and an awfully thick three year old at that``— it's up to Ron and Hermione to turn him back to normal. But the infamous``defence against the Dark Arts jinx is against them. Contains some harsh language.``H/Hr.

Draco has gone insane. Tricks have been unleashed all week. Ron thinks it's hilarious, Harry wonders whats gotten into him, and Hermione is appalled. What's gotten into Draco?

"There are some strange things going on at the moment - I don’t know if you’ve noticed. There seems to be a total Parental Chat epidemic going around. Really, there must be something particular in this year’s summer heat." - Harry, Luna, Hermione, Ginny and Draco are all subjected to a dreaded Parental Chat.

Missing scenes from OotP: Why did Ron go all funny, really? Was it something we missed...Or was something, in fact, missing? And did anyone else suffer a similar fate? ``This tale takes place just after the Department of Mysteries battle, and is rated PG-13 for mild language and a healthy breeze 'round a couple of pairs of privates.

Padfoot -- er, sorry, Sirius -- writes a Practice NEWT essay for McGonagall's Transfiguration class. Of course, it's all just hypothetical: He's not an Animagus, he's not the one who's been doing all sorts of naughty things, and, of course, he doesn't have to resort to blackmail in order to pass the course. (Yeah. Right.) *Winner of FA's Back to School/Witching Hour Challenge!*

At a wild Quidditch party, Lily unwinds with Remus at her side, having bad consequences for not only the two, but James' heart. Rated PG-13 for sexual references.

Severus Snape is the new headmaster of Hogwarts, and his first duty is not to kill the new deputy headmaster. Harry/Snape slash.

We all know the Marauders. Remus, Peter, Sirius, and James. What we don't know is how they became Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs. Follow four boys through their first year at Hogwarts where we will see the foundation set for that infamous group of tricksters, as well as a few friends...

Latest issue of Snape/McGonagall bickering! Neville Longbottom is rewardingly caught between exploding cauldrons and everybody's favourite rivalling teachers trying to Make A Point. *Complete*

Oh, dear. It seems as though Dolores Umbridge has made public her prejudices against part-humans and half-breeds. A newly-married couple has been given a nasty shock thanks to a front-page Daily Prophet headline, there's backlash at the Ministry, and -- hmm -- some of this sounds like Real Life.

A twisted saga of four year olds, Dursley family problems, and a dead frog.

Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Draco, Lupin and Sirius sit down after the war and discuss some amusing philosophical thoughts.

Lily and James go out for the night, and Sirius comes over to baby-sit little one-year-old Harry!

How Godric Gryffindor got his first dragon egg.

Guess who's having a Wandpoint Wedding? Due to faulty Contraceptive Potion, someone finds herself knocked up, and her significant other wants to "make an honest woman out of her." Unfortunately, there are several major obstacles between them and the altar. Two-days-earlier prequel to "Wardens of Wizardkind."

What should three first-year students fear the most? A short Snape story. :)

These are the secret diaries of some of our favorite Goblet of Fire characters, recounting their time at Hogwarts up until the First Task. It is a slight parody of GOF and Bridget Jones.

Fleur goes to Hogwarts for her final year of magical schooling to pursue her love for Harry, only to find out that he already loves Cho. On a jealous spying search to find out some dirty information about Cho, Fleur finds out more than she bargained for. Only Ron seems to believe her. Read on to find out more...

He let his eyes fall shut and said a silent prayer that when he woke up Malfoy would be dead like he was supposed to be, or at least sane and embarrassing shrieks would not have happened and maybe the room wouldn't spin quite so much.

A simple, plotless little fic in the Seinfeldian style, featuring Harry, Luna, Ron and Hermione trying their hand at a famous Muggle pastime...

George needs help from the brightest witch in her year. How far is he willing to go for some assistance?

The Death Eaters have to decide what to get Voldemort for Christmas. Things happen. **Winner of the 2007 Phoenix Rising 'Mistletoe and Mayhem' Challenge!**

If you think you've got what it takes you work for the self-proclaimed evilest Dark Wizard in the history, read this story and think twice. It will serve as a guideline for all you need to know if you want to be a Death Eater (there is a quiz that you can do and it'll tell you!!).

Draco's about to find out what his animagus form is.

Hermione is kidnapped... Again! This time by the cousin of Draco Malfoy! It is now that Hermione wakes to find herself in a dark room. It is cold and the ropes on her wrists and ankles hurt. She sighs. Not again, she thinks. ``She begins to look around for the one guilty of kidnapping her. He isn’t around. Odd. No matter, Hermione thinks. He’ll be back soon. He’s probably out getting a cappuccino or something.

Hermione just wants to be left alone. Not going to happen.

Harry is shopping for Christmas. Again. (H/D)

Twelve people get a rather threatening letter to be in the Room of Requirement--or else. So when they do go in, they read a book. A 'Sue story that will most likely scar them for life.

A third part to my Caught In The Act series. Snape hears the Gryffindors doing... things, and can't help but take action.

This is the true story of seven, not-so-much strangers, chosen to live together in a house, and not kill each other. This is the Real Wizarding World--London.

Two students visit Madam Pomfrey with an embarrassing problem. The cure may possibly be worse than the disease.

Sometimes, a married man just has to admit to himself how much he longs for little boys.

James is barely making it through work one day when a pregnant Lily decides to pick up an extra ingredient for their dinner that evening.

Draco Malfoy, the ever cunning Slytherin, is living up to his name. The annoying Golden Trio (Potty, Weasel and Mudblood) are going down!

As soon as Draco woke up, he knew it was going to be one of those days where the whole world is out to get you. But can a bad day lead to an extraordinary turn of events? Wondefully OOC. Not as cliche as is sounds; features Showtune!Blaise and Leatherpants!Draco.

Maths like it's taught in Muggle schools is useless, isn't it? In this matter, both Ron and his son Nick think alike. Unfortunately, they have to complete Nick's maths homework together - but luckily there's always some help around.

Draco Malfoy chose to raise his son differently.

Back by popular demand! Those fangirls, never giving Hermione peace about their captured hotties. She has (reluctantly) written another book on how to care for a Hogwarts hottie, this one on the ever popular Draco Malfoy.

Books, Potions, house-elves, intrigue, romance novels, Hermione, Draco, and not a love story...

While packing for another long year at Hogwarts, Fredrick J. Weasley reminiscences about his family and all of their little quirks. Interested in seeing what Fred really thinks about his siblings? Oh, be afraid . . . be very afraid . . .

The Hogwarts staff has, once again, gathered to eat lunch. Once again, they are tormented by a horror-inspiring DADA teacher. This man makes the Basilisk look like a giant, murderous snake. Well, anyway, it's the sicho-romantic of Hogwarts, the incompetent, over-confident GILDROY LOCKHART! (Featuring a cameo by Dumbledore.)

When Lily spends her afternoon studying in the library for the upcoming O.W.L.s, she never expects to overhear the Marauders put the finishing touches on their greatest achievement…The Marauder’s Map.

A comedy about Harry and his broomstick. This experience is not necessarily any 'normal' ride around the pitch.

What's the best thing to do after a year of nonstop studying? Going on vacation, of course!

The story of Sirius Black, a vampire allergic to blood, a cannibal, a man who runs around naked, and a man named Bruce. Oh yeah, and an attempt to be the first man ever to escape from Azkaban.

Thirteen-year-old Draco Malfoy has recently become a junior Death Eater, but certain events that befall him after a Floo accident and involve a certain person with messy dark hair and spectacles make him regret it. An AU story.

Just as Voldemort finds a way to attack Hogwarts and overcome Dumbledore, Harry finds that he has even bigger problems. Snarry humour.

You know all those fanfics about a certain greasy-haired so-and-so growing a soul when he meets his long-lost-child? MWAHAHAHAHA!!!

Remus Lupin has problems. He's a wizard. He's a werewolf. He's somehow got himself very, very lost. And he's just been arrested by the Ankh-Morpork City Watch. Things can only get worse...

The (of course) humourous tale of four friends in their fifth year at Hogwarts and how they live at school with the invention of the all new Marauder's Map. Just what will they do first?

Finally, It Has Arrived! The sequel to Do It With A Mystery.``Set before Do It With A Mystery, how did the relationship begin? Includes five strange people and some crazed dreams.``WARNING: Crabbe and Goyle Cherubs found within.

There’s one thing little Harry wants from Santa Claus more than anything else: a little sister or brother. Remus and Severus tell the boy not to be disappointed, but in the end, they can hardly do anything but believe.

Like nearly everything in Harry Potter's life, even taking a shower is a doom-laden, disturbing experience, accompanied by dark thoughts and scenes which nightmares are made of. Cold water in the magical world seems to have unexpected side effects...

Draco goes in for a facial, looking for relaxation, and comes out with something more.

A night of mischief for first-years Fred and George turns into one of discovery, and adventure ensues. What will they get up to as they begin to tap into the map's secrets? Loosely based on a certain scenario alluded to in PoA.

"Draco, impregnate me now!"

Harry is back for another year at Hogwarts and exciting events are about to happen! Did Sirius really die? Who is Ginny writing letters to? What's up with Luna and her makeover! And most importantly, crazy trashcans!? The Dark Lord is planning something dangerous...

Remus has been sent to infiltrate Greyback's camp, and it isn't long before he realizes: Something's missing. Something important. What could it be? Who can help him in his hour of need...Or, rather, who WILL help him?

Hermione dictates a confession that tells all about Harry's secret kilt obsession. Warning, pants jokes ahead. (That's jokes about pants, not jokes that are pants.)

In Harry Potter's Seventh year there's a new DADA teacher. As usual, Severus Snape is angry, and the teacher is weird. And Dumbledore is an old yittish woman called the Matchmaker. (Figuratively speaking.) Appearances by Neville and Remus.

Peter has a girlfriend, and goodness only knows why, but she wants to go a bit further. But ickle Petie wasn't taught the Facts of Life yet, so it's up to the Marauders to explain some things to him. And they will. Oh, yes they will.

Will Harry and Severus put their difference aside long enough to grant Remus his Christmas wish? Yes and no.

While Harry and Hermione are staying at the Burrow, Mr. Weasley comes home with two telephones. Harry and Hermione attempt to show him how to use them.

In this wild world of fanfiction, Fred and George are up to their usual tricks, Ron and Hermione are FINALLY together, and Harry is, well...Harry! Warning: Extreme laughter. May cause seizures.

When Moreta, Goddess of Literature, looks at some of the Harry Potter fanfiction available online, she is far from happy. Slash? Crossovers? Mpreg? Just-developed-phenomenal-cosmic-powers-and-turned-into-an-absolute-hunk-overnight Harry? Oh, it's all just so wrong.

Two people meet in a cafe and find their way through a conversational minefield as a Deluxe Time-Turner interrupts their false starts, gaffes, faux pas and fandom clichés on the way to falling in love.

When Arthur and Molly leave for St. Mungo's to have their seventh child, Bill is left in charge of the Burrow. Surely, only so much can go wrong when the oldest Weasley is left in charge....

Draco's in denial. Ginny's in love. After a steamy``broom-cupboard romance, what will become of them both? Will Draco revert to his evil (and devilishly charming) self? What’ll Ginny do if she can't have that certain sex-god of a Slytherin?``Will Draco achieve his new and improved goals, including:``9. Win Witch Weekly’s Most Charming Smile Award, and knock that smarmy bastard Lockhart off his pedestal.``Can Ginny get Ron to admit that he has a major jones for Hermy? And if she can – what will Hermione do about it?``But most importantly, if Ginny and Draco DO get together… will Blaise Zabini cry?``Read their diaries (along with some very inappropriate poetry), side by side, day by day.

As the Quidditch Championship game approaches, the teachers in the staff room sit around being competitive, tense, or -in the rare case of Remus Lupin- placidly amused and content. For once, the problem person at Hogwarts is not the DADA teacher, and everyone is very happy about it... except Snape. Of course, we can't count him because he's rarely ever happy about anything that everyone else in the staff is happy about. Rated R for horror and sexual content- no, I'm kidding. This is a child safe story, ladies and gentlemen.

Crossover? Parody? Fanfic? All of the above? When Hogwarts meets The Colbert Report, anything goes!

An old woman tells her grandchildren about the adventures of her younger self... Starts between books four and five, telling of how Tonks``joined the Order of the Phoenix and her part in the war with Voldemort.

Draco's friends torment him using their own remixed version of The Little Mermaid's "Kiss the Girl." Chaos ensues.

Draco Malfoy wants to become the most perfect prefect in Hogwarts history. His only source for help? An annoying Gryffindor who's much more perfect than Malfoy thinks. How does the rigorous training work for Malfoy, though?

Harry was always going to be victorious. [Harry/Draco]

Draco and Hermione play a dangerous game of 'what if'. Winner at the Firewhiskey funny fic challenge for July!

Lavender and Parvati find a strange bunny on Hogwarts grounds that makes all kinds of mad-cap schemes come true. When they realize what is creating the chaos, they call in the one person they know they could count on... Professor Trelawney. Will the Divination Professor, Lavender and Parvati be able to save the school? Expect to see Mary Sue babysitting kid!Snape, Dumbledore, and McGonagall, Loving Harry and has no idea why!Draco, The Next Dark Lord! Hermione, and of course, Player!Neville.

A very long comedy. Will Harry ever get back his identity stolen by his evil twin? Will Voldemort ever get into the Lava Lamp club? Will the evil chipmunk stop Harry's quest?Why did Percy eat the Book of the Dead? Will Dudley ever find love?

Revenge is a dish best tasted cold. Sequel to Tiny Bubbles. Snape strikes back.

Once upon a time there was a group of individuals more powerful than the average person. They decided to form a band of which the likes had never been seen. Fabulous secret powers were revealed to them the day that held aloft their magic wands and said, "By the power of Cheese Monkeys, I am Mary Sue!" ``And then Albus Dumbledore and the rest of the canon characters chucked 'em out of the school.

Harry's been behaving very strangely. Hermione comes up with several theories, and a few interesting plans, but is she missing the point? And Ron's far too clueless to be any real use, isn't he?

What happens when you mix Monty Python's The Search for the Holy Grail and Harry Potter? A lot of scary plotlines, and a lot of fun!

This is the second in a series of stories attempting to explain some rather obvious names in the Harry Potter series. The first is Remus Lupin; this one is Sirius Black.

(Formerly known as Baby? What Baby?) Hermione Granger gives birth to a boy (she thinks). Some people know, but her friends do not. See her try to survive the absolute insanity and danger of Hogwarts with a baby to "take care of." Definitely not canon-compliant. CAUTION: This story contains language, crude humor, sexual references, and a crazy old man.

Ever wonder what went on in the Marauder's heads after they pranked, while they studied, at random parts of the day? Yes, you see what I'm getting at. All those crazy thoughts in drabble form. Short, sweet, and funny - just like them. Except for sweet.