Rating:
G
House:
Riddikulus
Characters:
Remus Lupin
Genres:
Humor
Era:
Multiple Eras
Spoilers:
Philosopher's Stone Chamber of Secrets Prizoner of Azkaban
Stats:
Published: 10/15/2003
Updated: 10/15/2003
Words: 1,104
Chapters: 1
Hits: 1,219

In the Staff Room Before Again

Kt.M.M.

Story Summary:
As the Quidditch Championship game approaches, the teachers in the staff room sit around being competitive, tense, or -in the rare case of Remus Lupin- placidly amused and content. For once, the problem person at Hogwarts is not the DADA teacher, and everyone is very happy about it... except Snape. Of course, we can't count him because he's rarely ever happy about anything that everyone else in the staff is happy about. Rated R for horror and sexual content- no, I'm kidding. This is a child safe story, ladies and gentlemen.

Chapter Summary:
As the Quiddich Championship game approaches, the teachers in the staff room sit around being competitive, tense, or -in the rare case of Remus Lupin- placidly amused and content. For once, the problem person at Hogwarts is not the DADA teacher, and everyone is very happy about it... except Snape. Of course, we can't count him because he's rarely ever happy about anything that everyone else in the staff is happy about. Rated R for horror and sexual content- no, I'm kidding. This is a child safe story, ladies and gentlemen. Please read; you won't be sorry!
Posted:
10/15/2003
Hits:
1,219
Author's Note:
The title's evilly confusing, isn't it? I dedicate this staff room fic to Lizzy (as I did once before...oh, well) because after reading The Order of the Pheonix, she hadn't had NEARLY enough Lupin scenes. If you suffer from the LOLS (Lack Of Lupin Syndrome), like she does, I hope this helps calm your craving a bit.


"Big game today, Minerva?" Madame Hooch grinned as she entered the staff room.

Minerva McGonagall was very preoccupied with stirring her tea in an agitated way. She was doing it with quite a bit more speed than was necessary.

"Slytherins won the Cup for the last- what is it? Seven years now?" Hooch scowled as she sat down.

"If they win again, I'll just..." McGonagall clenched her fists, her lips, for a moment, completely gone. Then she forced herself into a rigid calm and proceeded to drum her fingers on the table. "Well, I won't do anything out of line, of course," she finished primly.

Remus Lupin entered smiling- as he often was. He seemed to be very content with his job.

McGonagall was tapping the table loudly with one finger.

"Restless, Minerva?" Lupin's eyes twinkled as they glanced at her twitching hand.

She rolled her eyes at her own behavior and stopped. "It's just a game, after all," she told herself aloud. (Hooch looked as if she thought that was the most irrational statement she'd ever heard her college make.)

"Of course," Lupin agreed, eyes still laughing.

"There are many more important things to attend to."

"Absolutely."

"We can't let some sports invention take place over other priorities."

"No, never."

"This school is about learning, not competition."

"Most certainly."

"Remus Lupin," McGonagall confronted him sternly, "are you mocking me?"

"Oh?" Fire-works were exploding teasingly in his eyes, and the corner of his mouth was twitching. "I apologize, Professor; I never meant to."

"You know, Remus, you remind me of Albus sometimes."

The younger professor looked quite taken aback. "Why, thank you."

"Well, Minerva," Hooch said, leaning back in her chair, "I wouldn't worry, in your position. Unless you expect Malfoy to suddenly rise up and defeat James Potter's son-"

"And, apparently, inherent of his talents," Lupin added.

"I hope Slytherin have enjoyed their Quiddich reign because it is very nearly over. In fact, if it isn't over by midnight tonight, I just might change my name to Jemima Cleopatra and marry Argus Filch."

"Perhaps I'll take you up on that," Severus Snape said as he entered.

"I'm positive you would as long as there was no catch on your side," Hooch retorted. "Will you take me on if I bet you for six galleons?"

Snape sat down, refusing to acknowledge Lupin's presence in the room very obviously. "I don't agree with gambling," he said, as Filius Flitwick stepped through the staff room doorway.

"You seemed to agree with it last year," Flitwick smiled in a sort of self-pitying way.

"But that wasn't gambling," Snape explained smoothly, "that was common sense."

"Precisely," Lupin nodded and added, "and this year, it isn't."

Snape glared (not that Lupin hadn't expected that. The other man had never failed to glare at him, and it was getting worse by the day. Lupin gave him a friendly smile.)

McGonagall, who had resolved determinedly to keep herself in order, was sitting up very strait with her lips pursed into a thin, white line.

"I'll bet you that Gryffindor wins," Lupin challenged the Potions master.

Snape stared at him.

"With what? I don't want that dusty suitcase of yours." He was looking at the shabby man before him as if he were a werewolf who had hardly any money.

"I shouldn't think you'd want that, Severus. It has my initials on it," said Lupin matter-of-factly as he pulled out a single Knut (worth one US cent) and set it on the table.

"Oh, good lord," Snape scoffed and carelessly tossed one of his own onto the table.

Lupin smiled.

He slid the coin back to Snape. "You can keep it until Gryffindor wins, if you like."

"I won't miss it, Remus. Buy Minerva a handkerchief." He smirked at McGonagall, who narrowed her eyes.

"And what, pray tell, would I use a handkerchief for?"

"Well, you could smother yourself when we win, cry with shock if Gryffindor pulls it off, or tie it around your eyes if you're too afraid to watch."

"Or," Hooch suggested, "we could lend it to Madame Pomfrey to save her some time the next time Draco Malfoy complains about his hippogriff injury."

"It attacked him. That trial was reasonable enough, in my opinion. Hagrid is being ridiculous about-"

"Well," McGonagall burst forth from her restrained silence, "you just make sure that your team doesn't do anything 'ridiculous' tonight, like impersonating dementors or deliberately smashing the opposing players with beaters' bats, agreed Severus Snape?"

"Yes, I'll tell my Slytherin team not to let their ambition rule them, and I'll tell Potter to leave the 'world-saving' to the grownups; maybe I'll even tell the Headmaster to keep my secrets to himself!"

Dumbledore stepped in to make the kind of impeccably timed cameo appearance that only he can make. Snape seemed to realize that he hadn't drunken any awful coffee yet, so he slammed down three cup in rapid succession.

Dumbledore obviously found this all very amusing. "Ah," he sighed, "time for another walk."

Snape was rubbing at an invisible spot of dirt with his thumb.

Dumbledore's eyes sparkled with inner laughter. "You see, there's a very large balloon full of hot air and I'd better let some out before it explodes."

There was a confused silence.

Snape slumped out of his chair -which was a very odd sort of humble behavior that he only ever practiced in the presence of Dumbledore- and followed the Headmaster.

"I think we need to have a good, LONG, conversation for me to explain a great many things to you, Severus," Dumbledore was saying as he shut the door.

"Whoo," Hooch breathed. "I can't believe you're so congenial with that man, Lupin. If I were you, I'd crack him a good one every week or so."

"I think he's had enough good ones cracked on him," Lupin said quietly.

"Judging by his attitude, apparently not."

Lupin twirled his tea bag in his cup thoughtfully. "Perhaps too many, then."

Flitwick sipped his cappuccino and then commented, "I hope you keep teaching Lupin. It's a good job for you, and you're a good person for the job."

It was apparent that Lupin was grateful for the remark.

"I have to get ready for my next class," McGonagall said, standing. Madame Pomfrey entered.

"Start polishing your shelf for that trophy, Minerva," Hooch advised.

"Come now; don't be overconfident," McGonagall said.

Hooch snorted.

Lupin stood to leave as well.

"I want to see you at the match, Remus," Madame Pomfrey ordered. "Those cheeks could use some healthy color."

"Yes Madame," Lupin nodded politely to her as he left.


Author notes: If any of you are Dark Arts readers, I have written two chapters of a series called The Passing. Quite a contrast to these fics, but please tell me whether you think they're any good!