2,921 - 2,940 of 3,602 Stories

When both Pansy and Hermione claim that Draco has fathered their unborn child, he and his attorney launch an investigation into the claims, and as always, hilarity ensues, with some startling revelations along the way. D/Hr, D/P, R/Hr, P/B, H/M

The students were desperate for relief. A professor was in need of mercy. One solution provided relief to them all. It came at a price.

It\'s the first day of lessons, and a prefect is in detention. Something tells Minerva there\'s a hard road ahead.

A snowman. A detention. A very large puddle. A toque with a pom-pom on it. And what Fred and George had to do with the whole affair.

Two people argue in a closet. YOU decide who. YOU decide why. Be kind. This is a sugar-rush piece. Prizes go to the most amusing or appropriate pairing.

What do Dementors do in their free time? This one-shot ponders the existence of tea rooms in Azkaban, and ponders that vital question: who finished the milk and didn't buy a new bottle?

The very first of The Very Pointless and Hopefully Humorous Stories of Harry Potter to be made available to the general public.

Lucius Malfoy devises the most evil, dastardly plan ever to be devised by anyone! His mission: capture Cornelius Fudge and carry out said evil plan. Will he succeed? Or will Cornelius Fudge elude him?

What do you get when you mix the Marauders with a great prank idea, a spell book, rabid squirrels, and a dandelion?

Gary Splotter is a stupid child who gets invited to a wizard/witch school. There he is faced by various challenges, which (by luck) he conquers.

Following a tip that one of Voldemort's Horcruxes had been seen in Muggle-inhabited Las Vegas, the Trio head there to destroy it... or so they think....

Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny lose a bet to Dean and Seamus. The price: they have to dress in each other's clothes for a day!

An odd little tale about what happens when little Colin Creevey becomes completely and utterly bored. Filled with secret rendezvous, petty bickering, experimentation, and tipsy professors.

A first-year asks Harry to deliver a note. Little Harry knew what was in store for him...

The Sorting Hat is bored. Always was, always is, always will be. A few years ago though, someone came. This is The Philosopher's Stone and The Chamber of Secrets from the Sorting Hat's point of view.

Hogwarts is feeling pretty average. No murder convicts, no scary teachers (or are there?), no Voldemort posing threats. But Voldemort is only seconds to the most feared woman on Earth!

Alan Greenspan announced that he will be stepping down from the post of Chairman of the Board of Governors of the United States Federal Reserve effective the first of next month, and his replacement will be none other than Albus Dumbledore. Dumbledore currently serves as the Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Scotland. It was further announced by the Ministry of Magic, London, that Mr. Greenspan will assume Mr. Dumbledore’s former position. [Fanfic for the educated reader.]

Darn Harry has messed up Draco's life once again! He has even gotten in trouble with the Headmaster. His punishment... ART THERAPY! (Co-author: Marrietta Malfoy.)

Yay it's the animals woohoo. The animals of the HP characters get to talk out.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione have some fun with cryptograms.

Being poor is bollocks. Wherein Narcissa drinks like a fish, Lucius does his best George Bluth impression, Ron gloats, and Draco can\'t catch a break. Set pre-HBP.

It's the time of the Great War and Draco Malfoy is at the front line! Can he deal with battle, capture, and those annoying songs with the word 'whoops' in the title? Most importantly, can he deal with Harry Potter? Featuring Bitter!Draco and Oversexed!Harry.

Something odd is happening in the Hogwarts Kitchens and it isn't the House Elves causing it. Well, not all of it anyway.

After the Marauders humiliate him by the lake, Severus Snape sneaks a midnight swim in the Prefects' bath to cool down and manage his temper. (One-shot.)

ONESHOT! Script!Fic. The scene from the end of my story: "Why? An Angst Depression Fic." In which Harry manages to end his friendship with Ron and Hermione.

Colin wakes from a naughty dream and decides to take his fantasies on the road. What’s waiting for him in the common room, and will Hermione approve?

Pig takes some well-needed advice from the experienced and beautiful owl, Hedwig.

Ron and Hermione have their first``date, with both sets of parents in attendance. Chaos abounds!

James Potter the Auror is interviewed by a Daily Prophet reporter and, unsurprisingly, his mouth gets him into trouble. DP article, then J/L.

Harry had a bad fifth year, VERY bad. This we all know. You would think that things couldn't possibly get any worse for him, wouldn't you? Isn't there some supernatural force out there looking out for him? Nope. Sorry. Think again.

To win a ticket on the grandest ship in the world, from a lucky hand of strip poker, is no doubt extremely excitining. But also to find the love of your life in just a few short hours is just amazing. This happens to a young man by the name of Draco Malfoy, who finds his love in another young man named Harry Potter. Together they withstand the wonderful/horrid journey on the R. M. S. Titanic

Potions 101. What do you get when you mix a millennium year old secret with one damn Yankee, a school full of British wizards and witches in training and a whole lot of tongue-in-cheek? Just read the fic...

When Hermione Granger wants something, she will do just about anything to attain it. What do you do when you are single-handedly trying to become Hogwarts' heartless boy magnet? Spill all the juicy secrets in a diary, of course!

Caution: Should only be attempted by professional fangirls. This sort of thing can be more dangerous than playfully poking dragons and is a good way to get on Snape's hit list. OCs and tricks abound. Now comes with lip balm! ``Sequel to "Drying in the Sun."

It's a few weeks before school is over and Professor Dumbledore decides to lighten up the atmosphere - by declaring that all students and teachers are to cross-dress for a whole week. This is the beginning of a very "wicked" plan, brought by who else but Harry Potter.

Charlie wakes up one morning and chaos erupts in the Weasley household.

Confusion of sorts leads to an interesting, if wholly unexpected, situation for Professors Lupin and McGonagall at Grimmauld Place.

Neville thinks on his crush before going to visit him for the summer.

And you thought Plot Bunnies were metaphorical! Watch as two unsuspecting fanfiction writers get sucked into the shady world of Harry Potter fanfiction Plot Bunnies! No... this fic ISN'T supposed to make much sense.

One-shot. My first slash story. This was a Magical Music challenge from Lady Silver. Butterbeer, hot boys, karaoke and lap dances. What could be better?

This is what happens when the characters get just darn fed up with it all.

Two fans of The Boy Who Lived set out on a pilgrimage to get a glimpse of their idol.

Four words... Sirius, naked, invisibility cloak.

Cute American Girl teaches Potter frisbee. Hilarity ensues.

What happens when the author gets involved? Anything! Contains a suitable Mary-Sue, dancing monkeys, EvilManiac!Dumbledore, and much more funnyness! It is very much funny!

Harry and Draco as Aurors? Okay, I guess that's alright. But partners?! Throw a Muggle into the mix and things are gonna get ugly!

Harry, Ron, and Hermione move to darkest Oregon in the Heart Of The Country to get away from city life.

The End of Hogwarts is here! There isn't much more to that story than that. Featuring justplainstupidHarry! and justplainstupidVoldemort and justplain...okay everyone in this story is just plain stuipd. So...yeah...read!

Ron is on the Quidditch team, Hermione is lost in her study world blocking everyone out, and Harry is trying to remain neutral. Will anybody remember Ron’s birthday?

The mental diary of fifteen year old fourth year Clara Hopkins, as she deals with a forgetful best friend, an irresponsible Quidditch captain, her owl Bertie, how to do her hair up for the Yule Ball, and how to keep her younger brother Max away from her for the entire school year.

Life after the Battle - Harry Potter is presumed dead, Ron and Hermione have a son, and a fatherless mermaid from the States is the first of her kind to receive her letter to Hogwarts. When she arrives, she discovers secrets thet her family has kept hidden, wacky professors, and a Broadway-singing rival that may actually help her in her quest - find out the identity of her father. Sequel to The Last Battle.

It began when Voldemort received a parcel from Harry Potter...

When Draco Malfoy joins the Light Side, Harry, Ron, Hermione and Co., find out that there are a lot disturbing about him. For one thing, is he gay? A girl? Bisexual? Straight? And, more importantly, is Dumbledore really dead? Featuring an eccentric Draco, a murder plot, over-exaggerated humor, strange rumors flying through the corridors of Hogwarts, and oh my, the Heir of the Founders claims Hogwarts? What's going on?!

When little six year old Ginny gets a cat, the poor thing has no choice but to be forced to wear a doll's dress. And now, at the age of sixteen, Ginny's suddenly remembered that fateful old memory and wants to try again. You know, for old time's sake.

It’s Lord Voldemort, the Dark Lord of the Death Eaters, versus Professor Eudice Eusyram, the sultana of Suedom! Take a wild guess who will win.

Harry meets an interesting new neighbour.

The trio are mysteriously led by a strange 'Horcrux tracking device' to find out what the last horcrux is. Strangely enough, it leads them to a toilet cubicle...

Sequel to 'An Awkward Conversation'. Sirius can't stay cooped up for long, as we all very well know. Lying low just isn't his thing. So how will he persuade Remus to let him out of the house?

Let us suppose, for a moment, that the idea for the adventures of our favourite teenage wizard and his friends had occurred to another author. What would the outcome have been? Here are three suggestions.

It's Ron's fourth year and his 15th birthday! Yes, we're goin' to a party, party!

Harry Potter meets the Princess Bride - warning: it will make very little sense if you've never see/read The Princess Bride. I suggest you do, it's excellent. Anyway, slightly random and mad, it's romantic and sweet. I think so.

Remember how Hagrid suggested he might find a lady friend for Grawp? Well, what if he did? Warning: if you are not amused by smutty innuendoes then do not, I repeat, do not read this fic.

Poor little Harry. Always having the bad hair, the big ugly clothes, those horrible glasses. But it doesn't have to be that way, you know.

The long-awaited sequel to 'Suit You Mr. Potter!' Still good for a giggle even if you've never seen the Fast Show.

Harry finds his best friends irritated with him, Voldemort reveals a mysterious secret about Harry's past, and Harry is horrible at U.S. geography!

Draco is poor, Harry helps the helpless, and Draco really wants to kill him.

Once upon a time…is such a cliché. Ginny, Parvati, Lavender…all of my girlfriends have started their autobiographies with those four little words. I hate cliches; they’re just overused, too cheap for my taste. Every fair maiden from here to THE END can use that line.

A parody. Harry finds a very peculiar and perilous handbook, and travels through an unbelievable alternate universe where everything is upside-down.

A story filled with cunning and deceit, romantic intrigue and heartbreak, and American Exchange Students. The sequel to "A Fanfic Unlike Any Other Fanfic" and based on many cliches in the fandom, mostly those about OCs. This includes Harry/OC, Draco/OC/ another OC (no slash), Lucius/OC, Lily/Narcissa, James/OC/Draco (no slash). As you can tell, it gets... strange....

Snape meets with Dumbledore and Harry serves a detention.

Welcome aboard Hogwarts Airlines! Please keep all magic out of the aisle and make sure that there are no loose bolts in your brain. Thank you for flying with us, we hope you live to make the return trip!

A one-shot attempt at sixth year. Featuring weird weather, corny poetry, and some sheep costumes. H/L.

Harry and Draco have joined a new Hogwart's dueling club. Harry is winning and has just been tipped off on a spell by a Weasley twin. Draco is desperate to beat him. The next thing that happens is complete "Magical Karma".

Colin Creevey appears on Mastermind. Can you guess what his specialist subject will be?

*sighs* “She’s perfect.”

What happens when our famous Hero goes through puberty? Well, with the help of his best friends and a new love he is in for a wild ride!

Hagrid's had enough of Malfoy's antics in Care of Magical Creatures.

Anyways, you know when you get a clog in your sink and you don't know what to do? You run to your parents or the unclogging stuff under the sink. Well, imagine you didnt have either. What would you do then? Ron and Harry have a suggestion that you might want to think about.

When Harry walked into the Great Hall at the start of his sixth year, his entire world turned upside-down.

A sequel to "A Contraceptive Controversy". Frank Longbottom finds a certain Muggle innovation lying around the castle and has difficulty identifying it. Fortunately, the Marauders are there to help.

Not everybody's gone mad, just a large group. Unfortunately Harry is part of it. Could a pair of ?s be to blame?

Filius Flitwick's first experience on the Quidditch Pitch in the 1930s was certainly not what he expected. The same goes for Minerva McGonagall and Santiago Sinistra.

Hogwarts has turned into a giant love triangle! Harry discovers secret loves between his friends and enemies as well as discovering his own love. Christmas at Hogwarts is very different this year; from morning to night there are surprises left and right. Harry/Hermione, Ron/McGonagall, Neville/Snape, Draco/Goyle/Crabbe/Blaise, Cho/house-elf/giant squid.

Cedric Diggory is dead and Voldemort is back. It is up to a Hufflepuff and two red-headed Gryffindors to boost morale throughout Hogwarts...

The original Marauders have finished their OWLs early.... What will happen? And what happens when some NEW marauders at Hogwarts finish their OWLs?

The Fat Lady has a nice chat with a stranded Gryffindor. Have you ever wondered about the pink-silk-dressed guardian of Gryffindor Tower? Here is a (small) part of her story.

Malfoy is drawing on the walls, Ron supports him in his artistic endeavours, Harry tries to play the hero, Hermione wants to be the hero, Fred and George go to the library, and chaos ensues! All thanks to that one little Plot Bunny... [Semi-crackfic]

Harry is out of clean socks, so he pops off to the laundromat, where he runs into his arch-nemesis Voldemort! Is Voldemort waiting there to kill Harry? Or is he just doing his laundry? Will black always be in style?

Where Fred and George have a brilliant plan, Ginny is annoying, and Ron quietly has a nervous breakdown. Written for triatha_ron, 2007.

James, Sirius, Remus, and Remus's girlfriend Rebecca set up a prank during an awards ceremony that they deem will be the best joke Hogwarts has ever seen.

A Ravenclaw student explains to his housemate why the Potions textbook contains no mention of Golpalott's Fourth Law.

Harry and Severus continue their relationship and Harry comes out to his friends with very interesting consequences.

There's more to the Interruptions Saga, as it's come to be known. But, things are not what they seem! The marauders and Lily show you some of their most embarrassing moments, including James and Lily's wedding disaster. There is also a bit of rambling, but that's purely my fault for not editing what was said. This is your last chance to learn the further secrets of the marauders! Enter at your own peril!

When great heroes are spoken of, how shall I pass over you, oh Harry Potter? A hymn of praise to the Boy Who Lived, written in the style of the Homeric Hymns.

Filch. He's mean. He's cruel. He's, overall, quite unintelligent. He collects Technicolor Kitten Plates. So what happens when he meets another mean, cruel, quite unintelligent, Technicolor Kitten Plate collector? Read and find out!!!

Your favorite girls are back again! This time it's Halloween and the girls have more than a few tricks up their sleeves...

Well, basically, this is making fun of all Mary Sue-ness. And no, ShangDuck13 and Ava Rain were NOT HIGH when this was written. Anyway, using her beautifulness and perfect hair flippage, the ultimate Mary Sue saves the day. Or something.

My sequel to my fic "Unknown Fame." Harry knows how famous he is in the Harry Potter books that his Muggle friend, Jo (to us the wonderful JK Rowling), wrote, but when he brings one of the movies home, things become so much worse for him.

Harry escapes for one glorious morning from Privet Drive and runs errands alone.

Nobody knows exactly why it happened. Perhaps it was the depletion of the ozone layer surrounding the Earth. Perhaps it was the knowledge of the upcoming doom about to befall the school, due to an attack from the Dark Lord. Or maybe it was just really, really hot outside. Whatever the reason, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry went insane.