Harry Potter and Viva Las Vegas!

Saturday, August 21st, 7:50 P.M. - Muggle Detention Center, Las Vegas

I swear, the first moment I get a chance to do so, I'm so kicking Tom Riddle in his sorry little arse. It's all his stupid fault we even landed here in the first place. Let me start from the beginning and explain how we got here...

It all began innocently enough when Hermione Apparated me (Harry), Ron, and herself 'across the pond' to Muggle-inhabited Las Vegas, Nevada, USA. We had just received a tip that a Horcrux had been seen here, so we set out at once to destroy it. What exactly Tom was thinking by placing a treasured object in such a Muggle-populated area is anybody's guess - especially since he thinks Muggles are the filthiest things in known creation.

Anyway, the tip we got said that the Horcrux had been hidden inside some kind of watery volcano. Leave it to Tom to hide it in the most difficult of places. We looked everywhere for the "watery volcano," even asking a few of the locals along the way. I knew we shouldn't have let Ron to do the talking, because his lack of Muggle speaking etiquette (his words exactly were: "Where's that Muggle-made water trap?") lead to some very weird glares. Some people looked at us like we were crazy, demented, or possibly both. After suffering some rather embarrassing moments, we finally found the 'watery volcano' we were searching for at the Mirage.

"Where do you think it is?" Hermione had asked, staring out on the water. Knowing Voldemort, it was probably hidden somewhere deep in the water just to make things difficult for me... as though he hasn't already made my life a living hell. He just needed to add more to it apparently.

I quickly decided the best thing for me to do was just dive in and grab it. But first I had to make sure nobody was looking, so I had Ron and Hermione act as lookouts. After performing the Bubble-Head Charm, I dove into the cold water and began looking around for his Horcrux. I spotted a small piece of parchment rolled up at the foot of the volcano and grabbed it. As I reached the surface, I saw that Ron and Hermione looked very worried. Standing right behind them was none other than Voldemort himself. But he didn't look like himself - or should I say, at least not like the last time I saw him. He was human again and - I couldn't believe it - dressed up in a tacky Elvis costume. Imagine a white jumpsuit, people. NOT a sight I wanted to envision.

(Not to stop in the middle of the story, but one of the Muggle police officers just came in here and told Tom to shut the hell up. Tom's been beating on the bars and yelling at the top of his lungs for them to "Let Lord Voldemort out" for the past five minutes. Dear God, I bet the officers think we're all freaks like Tom.

"Let the pros handle this, Harry," he'd said haughtily to me. Yeah, that's how pros do it: by screaming at the top of their lungs that they're Lord Voldemort. Not.

I look over at Hermione, who is beside herself with grief. After all, how often does someone like her (smart, bookish, and clever) wind up on this side of the law? Ron is worried that we caused an international skirmish, and he's panicking because he's certain that his mum will murder him.

Tom, ignorant prat he is, is enjoying all of this. He's strutting around the holding area and taunting the police officers. But back to the story....)

I saw that stupid grin on his face as I reached the surface. Ron and Hermione quickly helped me out of the water, hoping that nobody saw us. Hermione did some intricate wand work, and I was dry almost instantly. But Tom couldn't keep that stupid laugh of his to himself. Like he should talk. I wasn't the one wearing the white jumpsuit....

"Only I know where my sacred Horcrux is, and I'm not about to tell you prats where it is," he smirked. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a hot date with a roulette table."

"You can't gamble!" Hermione exclaimed.

"Why not? Unlike you babies, I happen to be much older and wiser and of legal gambling age. I am, after all, in my seventies. So, if you'll excuse me..." He then sauntered off.

If looks could kill, he would have dropped dead at that very moment from the evil glares we shot his way. Before I could stop myself, I yelled, "After him!" I ran down the sidewalk with Ron and Hermione in tow.

"Which way did he go?" shouted Hermione. I pointed in the direction of where he went, which just so happens was toward the second largest castle I've ever seen in my life. Though it was a castle, it wasn't anything like Hogwarts. It was too gaudily decorated to be any castle I would ever see back home.

We made it to the entrance, where we immediately began looking for that sorry excuse of a wizard. Upon entering, our ears were met with a barrage of different noises. Music was blaring at every which angle, and Ron, who had never seen anything like this place before, stood transfixed. Since Hermione and I were use to Muggles and their ways of life, and Ron wasn't, we had to drag him away. Literally.

We must have searched the entire place before finally finding him arguing with the person behind the table. Apparently he accidentally used his Horcrux as cash and was complaining that he didn't mean to bet it. Stupid idiot.

The person he was arguing with must have called security because the next moment, two large officers were dragging Tom away. "You can't do this to me!" he screamed. "I'm Lord - OW! What the hell was that for? I just want my Horcrux back."

The guards must have thought he said something totally different than Horcrux, because they got a really weird look on their faces then.

"You can't do this to Lord Voldemort!"

The guards laughed. Then just a few scant seconds later, they unceremoniously tossed Tom out the front doors and told the "fruitcake" to never come back. I could have told them that much, that Tom was a fruitcake....

Strangely, things were starting to look up for us. With Tom gone (not to mention making a complete arse out of himself), and the person behind the table looking the other way, I made a mad dash to grab the Horcrux. Big mistake. The person turned around and saw me grabbing the Horcrux.

"SECURITY!"

The same guys who had just thrown Tom out were now after us. And that leads us up the point where we tried to make a break for it, were completely unsuccessful in our attempts, got caught, and were thrown in the hoosegow.

All this happened way too fast, and it all happened because they thought we were Tom Riddle's accomplices. (And I'm still thinking of wanting to kick his sorry arse.)

Speak of the (literal) devil, he just sat next to me, sighing. "This is so embarrassing," he mumbled. "The Death Eaters better not find out that the Mudbloods have imprisoned their Lord."

"You won't have to worry about that," I said. "After all, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas."