201 - 220 of 3,602 Stories

It's Harry and Ginny's wedding night, and it isn't just the bride with the jitters! Consumed with the job of destroying Lord Voldemort, Harry's sexual escapades have been limited at best. When he consults a Harlequin romance novel for tips, Harry gets more than he bargains for...and doesn't understand how wet knickers can possibly be considered sexy.

Thanks to *another* lost coin toss, Severus Snape has to teach the Slytherins and Gryffindor's the facts of life.

Chaos ensues after Witch Weekly, seeking to increase readers, decides to create a boyband out of five seemingly talentless wizards: Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy, Ron Weasley, Neville Longbottom, and Oliver "Toss Your Knickers Here" Wood.

We've all had the talk at one point or another, right? But from our parents....How would you feel, girls if you received this "talk" from Fleur Delacour? Or guys, from Fred or George Weasley? Well three certain Gryffindors are about to experience sex advice at it's worst. And what - pray tell - does Draco Malfoy have to do with it? From Harry's POV.

OotP-AU.

The young Marauders play a prank on Severus.

The O.W.L. woes of Fifth Year begin in mid-February, when every student must complete the Potions Practical Assessment Task. Professor Snape is terrified, Hermione runs amok and Ron runs to the rescue. Meanwhile, Harry Potter writes some truly awful poetry. In Chapter 1 we attend the staff meeting that Severus Snape will regret forever. (This story was written prior to OotP, and has since been rendered utterly and unapologetically AU.)

After the war, the Wizarding world needs to be rebuilt and wizards need to stand together again. The future demands a new order, and the women are up to that task. --- SS/HG/LM

A parody of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone that takes place during the Riddle era. Starring the infamous Flower Potter who survived Grindelwalds ye old grande de wrath filling in for Harry, the poor but humorous Haruko Weasley filling for Ron, and the incredibly attractive nagging bookworm Tom Riddle filling in for Hermione. Together, with plot devices, lucky, and insanity, they're going to protect the Stone of Hot Ice from Grindelwald!

Harry's wand is eleven inches, nice and supple, and so is that bit of timber he carries around with him. Warning: lewd behavior dead ahead.

Harry's in love and Hermione and Ron are going to find out who he loves, no questions asked.

Nobody knows why they all love Mary Sue. They just do. Includes a SoundofMusicsinging!Snape, childlike!Dumbledore, and as always perfectineverywayexceptherbrain!Mary Sue.

This is couple of little scenes, drawn together under the assumptions that evil villains do sit together for a nightcap like everyone else, too. These scenes feature Voldemort, the Malfoys, the Lestranges, Wormtail as a waiter, Greyback, Snape obviously... And later on, you'll meet even more notorious scoundrels that you know from outside of the Potterverse.

Here it is! Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire consensed to five lines per chapter!!!

What happens when Draco, Harry, and Ron appear on a Dating Game? Do you really want to know? Do they want to know? Chaos once again ensues between the three, along with one other....

Things start to get a little crazy when the Weasleys get a new swimming pool and are left with it for seven hours... with Fred and George in charge!

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets condensed to five lines per chapter (yes, I've counted). The second in the Five Line Series.

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's (Sorcerer's Stone for you Americans out there) Stone in five lines or less!!!

Insanity ensues when, in her seventh year, Hermione accepts a challenge! Armed with friends, a new found deviousness, and a list of 99 ways to piss snape off, Hermione must make the most of her seventh year. HG/SS, but not romantically...yet

It\'s the sixth year at Hogwarts and He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named has used That-Which-Will-Not-Be-Named... for reasons that are better left unspoken! Join Harry and Draco as they valiantly try to save the day, and just end up digging themselves in deeper. Trophies, bratwurst, and mud, oh my!

Harry and Ron host a show for VH1, and they're about to discover just who's dating whom in the world of fan fictions. Even if it's against their will.

The magical world needs more than magic. They need KARAOKE! Teachers are judges, the world is the audience and Draco hates Snape's hair!

Have you ever seen that completely silly and hilarious show hosted by Drew Carrey? If you have then you can imagine what craziness and complete silliness ensues when the HP crew get's involved. With Remus as host, and Harry, Hermione, Ron, and Snape as the panel, what would happen? Read to find out.

Two letters written by Sirius, twenty years apart.

Harry really ought to learn to knock, since Remus can't learn to restrain himself.

Hermione joins an unusual club....

At age sixteen, James and Sirius are left alone in James' house for seventy-two hours. The horror. The chaos. The bloodshed. The spells gone wrong. The amazing amount of bunny ears. Also featuring Lupin As A Dining Room Chair and a Very Very Very Very Drunk Sirius making snow angels. (WHEEE!!!)

Christmas shopping is always a hassle. Christmas shopping with your two closest friends for a present for your wife, on your first Christmas together? Oh that’s always worse.``James was always intelligent when it came to spells, enchantments and hexes. Not so much in the Why These Blokes Are My Friends area, though.

Bond!Ron is back! This time he\'s sent to Boston, Massachusetts in the good ol\' US of A to recapture Draco Malfoy who seems to have escaped. And Malfoy\'s not the only person from Ron\'s past who\'s in Boston — Hermione\'s there as well. She\'s working as an agent for the American Aurors, the very agent Ron\'s been partnered with. Their sleuthing leads them to a nightclub called the Electric Dragon, home of every nefarious activity in the Boston area. While Harry\'s mooning after Ginny and Ginny\'s mooning after Malfoy, Ron and Hermione have to figure out a way to work together without killing each other. No one ever said the course of true love ran smooth.

This year, Father Christmas is busy. He asks his dear friend Albus to help him give away presents to the students of his school. Find out what our favourite characters asked for (Harry, Ron, Hermione, Draco, the Weasley twins, etc).

Harry is training to become an Animagus in a surrounding appropriate to his soon-to-be species. Now if they could just keep out the pesky Death Eaters....

Ron and Hermione observe their six daughters' physical and mental features before they take them to Hogwarts Express. The beginning of series of families observing their children's character traits.

"Don't touch it!" Teddy shouted, but since when had James Potter started obeying commands? He turned the hourglass and the world around them started spinning... and spinning... and spinning.

The Marauders' Sorting Ceremony! Severus Snape makes a guest appearance.

When Remus Lupin catches a horrible flu, nobody thinks twice about it. But when, one by one, the fever spreads to the other Marauders, its results bring about more attention and even more problems than they needed. (A Pre-OotP canon story.)

After a new Ministry decree forces Tonks to resign from her job, Remus matches wits with Dolores Umbridge. Who knew the kindly werewolf could be so Machiavellian?

Early married life has its ups and downs, and everyone from the Dark Lord to the house elves seem to know what's best for the yet-unborn heir to Malfoy Manor. But demons, the intervention of the local Hunt, and the dinner party from Hell aren't going to stop Narcissa getting what she wants out of life. And she's just about to meet someone with an even stronger survival instinct.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione are in their sixth years; Harry and Ron are going to be Aurors and Hermione, a member of the Department of Muggle Relations. Hermione is not in Harry's and Ron's DADA class, and is jealous when she finds out that the new DADA teacher is the most powerful witch in the world, Willow Rosenberg from Sunnydale, California. Harry still misses Sirius incredibly and wishes to bring him back, so he asks Willow if she can help... But when Willow says no, he tries to get revenge on Bellatrix Lestrange, getting himself hurt. So Willow decides to help Harry, Ron, and Hermione bring Sirius back through the veil... And discovers someone else who needs to be brought back...

Draco Malfoy is in a bit of a situation. You see, he's been turned back into a ferret. And a Weasley is the only one who can hear him talk. That Weasley is Ginny.

SLASH. Goyle wants to know what "wanking" means. Draco has to explain it to him.

A great many implausible ships. Poorly written. Really a shame. Yes, here it is: A new girl comes to Hogwarts called Mary-Sue and Harry falls in love with her. The situation is further complicated by the dark machinations of the new DADA teacher. Chaos. Plenty.

A very odd story about what happens when you isolate a Potter and Malfoy together inside their minds. Oh, and you have Snape and Granger working to get them out of it. Includes the infamous Flying Bathtub, as well as the Library-with-a-capital-'L' and speeding House Elves. May be harmful to your sanity.

A fic about the Marauders, starting from the very beginning! It's the very best place to start...

Dumbledore decides that as the Marauders and Snape are always in detention, they could just as well do something with that time that the whole school can enjoy. So, despite Lily's protests, the Detention Club presents its very own version of "Little Red Ridinghood."

James gets in touch with his prankster-ish side and the other three follow suit. A simple, ficlet-ish, uh, thing resulting of a burst of creativity in my uncomprehensible head. Enjoy (or at least try to) and review!

It's the summer after Harry's fifth year, and the new magical government faces an unexpected challenge: England is being swarmed by ghosts, spooks, and spirits! Even the Spirit Division can't handle it - but Arthur Weasley knows four Americans who can. Yep, it's a Harry Potter / Ghostbusters crossover!

Tonks goes on a blind date, Remus gets jealous, Sirius gets drunk, Dumbledore gets involved, and Molly embarrasses herself. Just an ordinary day at Grimmauld place, really. Takes place during OotP, and details how Remus and Tonks ended up together.

A short fic with a twist I guarantee you've NEVER seen...what if Harry Potter..."the Boy Who Lived"...simply...DIED?*evil grin

A story in six-chapters about a horrible curse being perpetrated on a particularly deserving populace. Harry, who is out of shape, in trouble and stuck in the throes of a mid-life crisis, is presumably meant either to stop it or have it happen to him. Perhaps both.

How can some some muggles, a bunch of first-years, a couple of Hogwarts misfits, a redheaded nerd, old enemies, ex-wives, a werewolf, a few Death Eaters, lots of dead people, and a witch that knows nothing about Quiddich save the day?

Hermione Granger gets a letter for Hogwarts school, but will her mother and father let her go?

Come and join in the fun with your favorite Hogwarts students as the halls become alive with the sound of music!

Magical amulets, seances, daring rescues, cunning plans, apple-green blouses and rampaging Latin students.

Terry Boot has never had two legs. He's never had friends, good food, not even a mediocre education. All he's known is pain and a life with the Barduses, his senile grandparents, and their pot-bellied pig, Grudley. ``But all of this is about to change when a letter arrives at his hole, addressed to one "Harry Potter", and delivered by an owl messenger. A letter with an invitation to a wonderful place that he didn't know existed. ``Once there he finds not only another cripple to share his pain, but racism, favoritism, egotism, and many other isms that would take up too much space in this summary. ``If only Terry can survive this year, he will have made a place for himself in the wizarding world.

Hermione Granger takes a permission slip home to her parents, but has a lot of trouble keeping them on the subject, without them picking on every little near-fatal incident from her first four years.

A short parody based on Harry Potter meeting the typical transfer Mary Sue.

The Founders in the Sorting Hat return to Sort another year's students... and deal with a BASILISK?!

Short and fun. Ron and Harry are the unintended victims of a budding young artist. One must be really careful when there is Magical 'photo finishing' available.

Why does Severus HATE Valentine's Day? Because things like this ``always seem to happen to him. What started out as a typical V-Day, however, turns ``out to be something much more than either he or Hermione bargained on.

It's the first weekend after school ends, and almost everyone is away. Vernon and Petunia Dursley decide to spend the weekend in London, leaving Harry and Dudley home alone for three days. Less than six hours after Vernon and Petunia leave, the boys manage to lock themselves out of the house. Stuck outside, with everyone away and nowhere to go, Harry and Dudley desperately try to survive their weekend.

A parody of parodies of badfics. Also slash, Mary Sue, MSTs, the prefect's bathroom and more! Actually that's about it.

Sequel to “Batman.” Draco wakes up the morning after Harry’s eighteenth birthday party to one heck of a surprise. Will involve more kissing, more tickling, eavesdropping, leather, and one cranky little kitten. Slash.

A long-forgotten charm is activated, sending a Hogwarts student into an enchanted sleep. Will anyone be able to wake him? Slash.

Ron is certainly a loser when it comes to this romance...

Emily Williams is Swedish, basketball playing, sarcastic, and oh yes, magical. Sure, Emily knew that the Harry Potter books were realistic, but REAL? Boy, was she in for a huge surprise. When her family moves to England she just happens *coughRoncough* to fall through the barrier and to platform 9 3/4. She leaves for Hogwarts and meets all the usual characters, including some new ones, like the special Helen Shipley. Observe: No Mary-Sue-ing here! ;-)

A group of characters is gathered together to discuss trends in fanfiction and views examples in a MST style. A great sense of humor is a must when reading this fic!

After GoF, Sirius Black heads over to London to fetch Remus Lupin and discovers how odd Muggle Londoners can be....

Hogwarts has a new class, and a new teacher--someone who has travelled a very long way, a very long way indeed. This fic was written a decade ago. As such, the grammar and punctuation may not be up to my current standard. However, there are no current plans to rework my older fics.

Hogwarts has been invaded by preppy cheerleaders - and Sirius is their first victim!! Featuring preppy cheerleaders, Quidditch, preppy cheerleaders, The Resident Anti-Preps of Gryffindor tower, preppy cheerleaders, and revenge gone wrong. (A MWPP/L Fic)

I O.D.'d on too much Snape in love. Hermione, banned from the library, discovers the joys of trashy romance, Parvati and Lavender consider getting even with Snape and the Slytherins for last year's Witch Weekly incident.

When snow, hormones, and magic collide.

Harry Potter gives fan fiction writers a piece of her mind.

Okay, it's the Hogwarts Players, and they're starting their sixth year season! It isn't all Quidditch, you know; Hogwarts has some very talented thespians. Enjoy the backstage antics as well as the brilliant musical Les Miserables, starring Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy!

Completely random challenge fic. Harry finds an enchanted quill and some... er... interesting stuff happens.

Sirius gets drunk off of firewhisky-laced eggnog and gives Remus an...interesting present. Remus/Sirius slash.

Everyone loves Harry Potter. Everyone wants to kiss Harry Potter. Everyone wants to do Harry Potter. But what's Harry's opinion of all this. Who does Harry Potter love? Who does Harry Potter want to kiss? Who does Harry Potter want to do? Features the brilliant parings of; Harry/?????, Harry/Cho, Harry/Pansy, Harry/Ginny and Harry/Hermione.``*Warning* Features Harry Singing (shock Horror)

Harry and Ron fall in love with Hermione, who has just gotten a new make-over. The two solve the problem by summoning Pacey and Dawson from the television show "Dawson's Creek," who run rampant around Hogwarts while a new evil (or rather not-so-evil) villian lurks about.

Aberforth Dumbledore wants to be fighting evil with the Order. He doesn't want to be teaching a bunch of runny-nosed school kids how to ward off Red Caps. But when he finds himself the new DADA teacher, he spices things up by providing Harry's class with a much less - traditional - education. Based on the film School of Rock.

When Sirius, James, and Peter find out who Remus is dating, they are very shocked. So is the whole school. However, in the end everything ends more or less well -- even though Sirius doesn't get to give his friends a striptease show. Slash, kisses, and confusion.

Complete. Sirius Black is back from the dead and out to win the attentions of the man he loves – in any way possible! The result? A twisted tale of sex, goats and virgin’s blood. (And a healthy dose of drugs and rock’n’roll, too.) Featuring such fandom gems as Gay!Sirius, Clueless!Harry, Slut!Ginny and Don’t-Even-Ask!Snape.

My favourite boys having a discussion of matters sexual with a bit of help in the form of graphic visual aid from the top shelf of the local news agent. Featuring : JuvenileDelinquent!Harry and Pliant!Draco. Written for Harry's 22nd birthday !

When they get roped into waiting to register James' unborn son for Hogwarts, Sirius and Remus have a long day's wait, and a small dilemma -- nobody's picked a name yet. Faturing the Patils, Finnigans, Longbottoms, Malfoys, and one Weasley as supporting cast...

An abstract, artistic fic, where Harry has lost that...Oomph that makes Harry, Harry. Fred and Gorge feel they owe him one- must I say more? Funny, and thought provoking. Enjoy!

What happens when a gender swapping spell turnd Hogwarts upside down? Join Harrietta Potter, Rhonda Weasley and Herman Granger as they, as well as their peers and professors, attempt to deal with the repercussions. Hilarity ensues as they struggle to uncover the mysteries of the opposite sex (what exactly is a tampon for? why are there flaps in boxers? is a bra supposed to feel this uncomfortable?).

Ron and Hermione take to a new student transferred in from Beauxbatons, but Harry suspects that there is more to young Wesley than meets the eye.

When The Three Broomsticks becomes quite boring, Lily Evans decides to liven it up with an auction...of Sirius Black?!

Harry somehow trades places with Snape after Ron puts a faulty attraction spell on him--or does he? Involving Snape!Harry with a few well-known characters...and yes, at one point it gets ever so slightly slashy, so if that's not your thing, don't read on.

Annie-Elizabeth Howard doesn’t take it all too kindly when her mother starts to date again, only about six months after the death of her father. So Annie and her best friend Patsy decide to scare every single guy away. They turn into regular Marauders against the threat of each new boyfriend. They don’t have much trouble; their beloved Harry Potter books give them plenty of ideas. But what happens when Annie’s mother brings home Sirus Blake? To put it simply: pure chaos. AU fic. Read at your own risk.

Blaise Zabini was drawing his Divination chart when a cat appeared from thin air. She turned out to be a Princess from another world, who was trapped in ours and wanted help...

What would happen if Harry Potter wasn't born as a boy, but instead a girl? And would what we know of the first book change if it was Severus Snape that came to fetch the cute little girl instead of Hagrid? Definitively! Especially if even the snarky Slytherin can't help but find Arielle Potter cute.

Angelina accidentally cursed herself with a fairy-tale spell. A kiss will break it--saving her from humiliation--but is Fred up to the task?

Someone 'up there' (think Heavenwards) decides to give Hogwarts a look-in and wackiness ensues. Harry and Ron are trying to deal with being in fifth year as best they can, when their quiet start to the year is disrupted in a very... fiery way and things look to get everso slightly barking as the story continues.

Dumbledore's kidnapped the gang! And he's making them compete in a singing competition! What songs will people pick? Who will break up, or hook up? Most importantly, who will win the contest?

A fun place to chat away from Hogwarts, even with a court room for those not so fun moments...

Draco has lost Hermione in Hogsmeade... and is having the not-so-time-of-his-life finding her!

A look into the life of Voldy's pet snake, Nagini.

Fifth year, the Gryffindor wizards and witches make the night before the Leaving Feast a one to remember!

There's going to be a ball at Hogwarts and everyone's excited... especially Cho. Is she really that sweet? Or does she have some scheme up her sleeve? Each chapter is written in the point of view of a different character.

Are you sailing the S.S. Guns & Handcuffs, and has your boggart been assuming the shape of a white-blond corpse ever since HBP was announced? In this case, here's something to ease your mind....

Draco Malfoy, in his third year at Hogwarts, sets out to discover what shape his boggart shifts into. When he he does, he decides to make the most of it... and satisfy his craving for Harry. Slash