Before They Were Marauders

In the Gryffindor first year dorm, James sat up and listened to his roommates. Sirius was mumbling something about tie-dyed Every Flavor Beans while Peter seemed to been having a nightmare and shouted "Mum!" rather loudly. Remus on the other hand was softly singing "Alouette".

"Hey, Remus!"

Remus didn't seem to hear him and started singing "Frére Jacques".

"REMUS!!" James hit him on the nose with a fly swatter.

"Frére Jacques, Frére Ja- OW! What did you do that for?!"

"You know French?"

"Yeah.... You woke me up just to ask that?"

"Er... no...I can't sleep."

"And I can, but I might doubt that now that I have to share a dorm with YOU for seven years..." retorted an irritated Remus

"Aw, forget it..."

"Hey, I was just kidding. I tired of singing French songs anyway.... I want to do something more interesting than dream about Professor Binns in a color-changing toupee."

James raised an eyebrow.

"That's what you were dreaming about?"

"No, that was just an example."

"Oh...okay, because that sort of gave me a bad picture...."

"Sorry...I'm a bit pissed off (A/N I know they don't use that phrase in UK but I couldn't find a British substitute so who cares...) at that ethereal vacuum.... he drones on for hours and when I try to convince him that werewolves of 1652 couldn't have been that bad and it was probably bigotry, he just smoothes me over. What am I, Smucker's Grape Jelly?"

"Well..." James commented with a sarcastic smile, "I must say that grape jelly does look better than..."

"Oh, shut up!"

"God, I'm kidding!...... Can we wake up Sirius?"

"As long as you get to do it."

"Why?"

James found out *why* when he shook Sirius awake. Sirius, being the insanely stubborn (emphasis on the word insane) person he is, refused to wake up before punching James squarely on the forehead.

"Ouch! Damn! Don't you have peaceful dreams?"

"Wha?" asked Sirius groggily.

"I said... oh sod it."

"I'll be sure to inform my memory about that."

"What?"

"I didn't say anything."

"Yes you did!"

"I did?"

"Yes you-"

"Will you two shut your traps?" shouted Remus exasperatedly. James quit sputtering but Sirius continued being overly annoying.

"What trap? There's a mouse in here? Will I die? Will you give my blankie to my mum? Will-"

"Oh shut it!" shouted Peter, rubbing his eyes and trying to glaring at the three at the same time, ergo looking like an whiny two-year-old who dropped his ice cream cone and wanted you to pick it back up for him, nice and clean. (A/N Two-year-olds... *disgusted sigh*)

"You're awake!" cried James.

"Of course, you dimwit!" shouted Peter back.

"So now we can all go somewhere!"

"Like back to bed?"

"No, more along the lines of outside."

"You mean we're going to go down and sleep in the common room?"

"No, I meant that we're going to explore the building."

"I don't want to sleep in the Charms corridor!"

"Moron! We're not going to sleep! We're going to explore the castle!"

"Count me out," said Remus, yawning.

"Me too," chirped Peter.

"Me three, four, five, and six!" declared Sirius and slumped onto his bed.

"Fine be that way," said James, "I'm going to check out some secret passages."

"Now, hold it right there," shouted Sirius, sounding horribly like a dim policeman, "you never said anything about a secret passage. I thought you were just going to walk around the castle. If you're hunting for secret passages, you're going to be dragging me along."

"Uh...ditto," said Remus.

"Me two," said Peter, who really didn't want to go, but the prospect of staying alone in their dorm room was chilling for him (A/N *wimp!*). They crept down to the common room and left through the portrait of the Fat Lady, wondering what adventures they'll have...