Valentine's Day at Hogwarts

Valentine's Day at Hogwarts: A Comedy of Errors

AKA: The AngstQueen Does Comedy!

By: pandorabox82

AKA: Steph

 

And now, without further ado, our feature presentation:

Severus awoke with a start to the sounds of singing in his dungeons. With a groan, he realised it was Valentine's Day again and the house-elf was singing some awful love song as she lit his fire. "Stop that infernal racket," he hissed through clenched teeth. God, he hated all this mushy, sentimental crap. 'At least it only comes once a year,' he drolly thought. Rising from his bed, he quickly showered and dressed in his usual black robes.

He went to the Great Hall, dreading what he was to see there. Sure enough, Dumbledore had decorated the entire hall in reds and pinks. There were Cupids flying around, pretending to shoot heart-tipped arrows at the students. 'Only 24 hours of this madness - it's only for one day,' he thought as he took his seat at the High Table.

"Roses are red/Violets are blue/Wouldn't it be grand/If you loved me too." Severus' head turned towards the Gryffindor table and saw a sight he never wanted to see again. There stood Neville Longbottom, reciting to Harry Potter a short poem before breaking out into a horrendous version of a Muggle song. 'Sounds like "Take Me With You",' Severus thought. 'But he really should have more pride than that.' For while Neville wasn't the greatest singer in the world, his outfit was worse than his voice. He was dressed as a red rose - all of his body below the neck clothed in green, even his hands, while his head was the center of an open bloom, and his face was surrounded by a sea of red cloth. 'He makes a perfect English rose,' Severus told himself, struggling to keep from bursting out in laughter.

Just when he thought it couldn't get any worse, in waltzed Sibyll Trelawney in bright red dress robes. "I predict that someone will reveal their true love to us today!" she exclaimed loudly as she took her place at the High Table. It was then that Severus got his first good look at Dumbledore's hat - it had blinking, glowing red hearts all over it, and was very distracting.

He groaned at the very loudness of the hat, desperately wanting this day to end. Getting food so he could escape soon, he didn't see Madame Hooch come up behind him.

"Mornin', Lover Boy," she whispered seductively in his ear. His eyes bulged as he felt her hand slipping lower than was decent.

"Good morning, Madame Hooch. Kindly remove your hand from my leg, as it has no business being there."

She pouted at him, but took her seat at the Table anyway. God, he hated Valentine's Day at Hogwarts! Taking a sip of his coffee, he noticed a bitter taste to it. Looking back down at the Gryffindor table, he saw Hermione Granger just take her seat, with an odd look of triumph on her face. He really did not like that look. Finishing his breakfast in record time, he hurried back into the dungeons where he could find some measure of peace.

***********

"I can't believe you managed to slip it in his coffee, Hermione! That was really great!" Ginny exclaimed a few moments after Snape had left.

"Yes, now we just have to wait for 'Madame Pomfrey's Potion for Unrequited Love' to take effect. I wonder who his unrequited love is?" Secretly, she hoped that it was herself, but that would never happen - he was twenty years her senior! But, it still couldn't hurt to pine after someone who was so intelligent and, in his own way, sexy.

"Maybe it's McGonagall - you know how they fight with each other. That just might be his cover-up to his true feelings."

"You might be right, Ginny. We'll just have to wait and see." Hermione finished her breakfast, gathered up her Potions materials, and walked off with Harry and Ron to a class that she no longer despised.

***********

Potions had just started when Professor McGonagall sashayed into the dank room. Everyone watched as she strolled up to Snape and began to nibble on his ear. The class collectively uttered a big "Eww!" before returning to their brewing, eager to focus on anything other than the scene they had just seen.

But if they had looked closely, they would have seen that Minerva was just whispering into Severus' ear.

"So, are you going to tell her today that you love her? This would be perfect, it is Valentine's after all."

"Do you think I'm crazy, Minerva? While I may love her, I can't tell her that! She's a student for Merlin's sake!"

"So? That's only for four more months!"

"She'd hate me more than ever if I ever told her my feelings. While it may have worked for Beauty and her Beast, it won't for the Potions Master and Hermione."

"Are you so sure of that, Severus?" she asked before she turned and sashayed back out of the dungeon, humming something that sounded like a love song.

"Why would she be humming the theme song from 'Beauty and the Beast'?' Hermione asked herself as she watched her mentor leave the room. Feeling eyes watching her, she looked up into Severus' gaze. Blushing a bright red, she quickly looked away until she felt his gaze leave her. Then she looked at him, watching him move around the room with the grace of a lion. He looked at her, and this time, he was the one to break eye contact first.

As if of one mind, each thought:

'Maybe, could she, love me?'

'Maybe, could he, love me?'

"Miss Granger, could you stay a few minutes after class is finished? There's something I wish to discuss with you."

Hermione nodded her assent to his query and set about finishing her potion. As the bell rang, and all the other students packed up their things, Hermione fiddled with her bag, trying not to look too nervous. After the last student had left, he slowly approached her desk.

"Miss Granger, Hermione, I just wanted to tell you that over the years, I've really come to respect you as a bright, caring young woman. Now, as I continue to examine my feelings, I find that they are much deeper than I ever believed. I want you to have this as a token of my affection, and I fully understand if you do not return my feelings. Even I have a hard time liking myself somedays." Pulling out a small velvet box from his robes, he handed it to her.

She opened it as soon as the box was in her hands. Inside was a silver ring, decorated with an intricate Celtic knot design on the band. In the middle of the band was a pair of hands holding onto a ruby heart topped with a golden crown.

"It's lovely, thank you so much!" She stood and hugged him, and he, being shocked to the core, took a few moments before he spoke again.

"Do you know what the symbolism of it is?"

"Not really, explain it to me."

"It's called a 'Claddagh'. The hands stand for friendship, the crown for loyalty, and the heart stands for…." His voice trailed off, not able to express the final meaning.

"Stands for love?" she asked, with hope in her voice.

"Yes, it stands for love," he replied, unable to look at her, knowing that at any moment the rejection would come. When her hand touched his arm, he looked at her, startled.

Her eyes held such tenderness and love that he felt as if she were a mirage. No one could have such feelings for him, he'd worked so hard to keep everyone away. He felt her hand slip down to cover the Dark Mark hidden by his robes.

"None of this matters to me, not one whit. I love you for being you - your intelligence and discipline. I know you've built walls to protect yourself, but I hope you'll let me break them down." Taking his face in her hands, she turned him to look at her. Standing on her tiptoes, she placed a petal-soft kiss on his lips. "I love you," she murmured against his lips, before taking the kiss deeper. The kiss was wonderful, seemingly full of a wild magic as he had never before experienced. As their lips broke from that sweet first kiss, and he saw her eyes still shining with love, he thought 'She reminds me of a poem I once heard, but I can't remember it for the life of me, just the last line, "A heart whose love is innocent". That's her love for me, innocent. By Merlin, I love her so much it hurts.'

"I never thought a kiss could be like that," she whispered, her voice taking on a husky tone. Holding out the box to him, she said, "Put it on me, please? It would mean so much more if you slipped it on my finger." Holding out her left hand, she waited for him to oblige her.

He slid the ring onto her ring finger, the fit a perfect match. As she looked at her hand, relishing the weight of the ring on her finger, she noticed something a little odd about the ring's position. "Why is my ring on upside down, Severus?"

"Another bit of symbolism, my dear. To wear this ring upside down proclaims that you are spoken for."

She smiled up at him, and replied, "Good. I want everyone to know that I am taken," giving him a wink. Her eyes had taken a peek at her watch, and she realised she was extremely late for McGonagall's class. "Severus, much as I hate to leave you, I have to get to class. Professor McGonagall is going to be furious with me!"

"I highly doubt that, once you tell her where you've been. Why do you think she sashayed into here earlier? She was trying to have me tell you my true feelings. In a way, she succeeded. Give her my regards when you get there. Now scoot! I have essays to grade." He gave her a small smile, before she turned and walked out of the dungeons.

Pausing at the door, she turned back towards him. "Tonight, after the Feast, there are rumors that a dance will be held. If there is one, will you dance with me?"

"I could never refuse a request given by a lady," he smoothly replied.

"Good. I'll see you tonight, then." And with that, she was gone, off to Transfigurations.

A few minutes later, she breathlessly entered the classroom. "Ah, Miss Granger. I see you have finally decided to join us today. Now, pray tell, why are you so late?"

"Sev-er, Professor Snape had to see me for a few moments after class. He sends his regards, and wants to thank you for your advice," Hermione smoothly replied, as she took her seat next to Harry.

"Did he use my advice well, then?"

"Oh, yes, very well," Hermione replied as she put her hands on her desk, her left hand right beneath her ring, emphasizing it. Minerva took one look at the ring on Hermione's hand, and knew that Severus deserved to be happy, with her best student.

'Maybe Sibyl has her third vision under her belt. We'll just have to see how the Feast goes tonight. Maybe a June wedding is in order? One knows Severus needs to have someone in his life,' Minerva mused. To Hermione, she explained the lesson and goal for the day.

After class, Harry, Ron, and she decided to work on their homework in the common room. Harry was bursting with questions he wanted answered. Ron, however, was the first to ask something.

"Where'd you get that ring, Hermione?"

"You'll have to wait until tonight to find out, Ron," she enigmatically replied.

Harry broke in. "But who gave it to you?"

"All will be revealed tonight. Now, if you don't mind, I have a potions essay to write."

"Gosh, she's starting to sound a lot like Trelawney, isn't she?" Harry asked.

"Next thing you know, Hermione'll be predicting your doom, Harry!" Ron replied.

"What doom? Voldemort went back into hiding last year after that stupid attack on me here. Who'd have thought that my aunt Petunia really cared for me? The way she attacked him was bloody brilliant. Gave me enough time to seriously hurt the git."

"Yeah, Mum said that she loves having another woman in the house. Do you think she'll ever return to your uncle and cousin?"

Neither of them noticed Hermione slip off to her room, they were so engrossed in their discussion of latent magical power and how different Harry's aunt was now. Once in her room, Hermione decided how best to get ready for tonight. Dressing for dinner was so difficult when one was in love! By the time she'd decided and gotten dressed, it was close to the Feast time. She passed Harry and Ron, who were waiting for Ginny and Lavender.

"I'll see you in a few, Harry, Ron. Try not to be late this time!" she called as she breezed out of the common room and into the hall. She walked into the banquet hall, and saw that Dumbledore had gone all out. Doves cooed and billowed all over the place, while roses of every color, especially red, were on every table. She was about to take a seat next to Parvati when she saw Dumbledore call her to the High Table.

"Yes, Professor Dumbledore?"

"Hermione, Minerva informed me of the wonderful news earlier today. Sibyl has decided that she's going to spend the Feast in her room, trying to see who our lovers are. She doesn't realise they're right under her nose. So, since there is an empty spot at the High Table tonight, I'd like to invite you to sit here."

"Thank you, Professor Dumbledore. I would love to sit here with all of you."

"Now, I must warn you that at the High Table, we play forfeits on Valentine's Day. So don't be surprised at some of the things we do. However, you and Severus shall be exempt from some of our more risqué ideas."

"That sounds like a fun way to pass the time, sir," she answered. She felt him approach her before he even spoke a word. "Good evening, Severus," she sweetly said as she turned to face her love. What she saw stunned her. He had washed his hair, and while it was still a little greasy, it looked soft to the touch. He'd also dressed in black velvet robes, which looked very fine on him. All in all, he looked wonderful.

"Since everyone is here now, the Feast can begin," Albus said, as Severus helped Hermione into her seat. Albus stood, and made a short speech about how Valentine's Day was a day for love, no matter what shape it might take. "And now, let the Feast of Love begin!"

Harry and Ron arrived late, though it wasn't their fault. Ginny and Lavender had taken forever getting ready, and had held them up until now. They looked at the High Table in time to hear the end of Dumbledore's speech. Looking to his right hand, they saw Professor McGonagall, looking regal in robes of deepest purple with gold stitching on the sleeves. Looking to his left hand, they saw Hermione in robes of deep blue, almost black, sitting next to someone who looked like Professor Snape would, if he ever cleaned up. "Ron, is that Snape next Hermione? And what's she doing up at the High Table?"

"I think it is Snape, Harry. As to her sitting at the High Table, I have no idea. Let's get to the table and eat. I'm starving!"

Back up at the High Table, the forfeit hunting began. Hermione soon caught on to how the system worked, and was careful not to spill or bump anyone while reaching for more food. Albus, however, caught Minerva dropping her napkin on the floor, and claimed the first forfeit of the night.

"Tell us, Minerva. Did you and Hagrid ever, you know, screw like rabbits?"

Minerva blushed a deep red, and took a sip of wine before answering. "Yes, we had sex, but only once!"

The rest of the table had a good laugh at the admission. "Well then, I get the next forfeit. Watch out everyone! I know I'll be watching!" Minerva exclaimed. True to her word, she watched everyone like a hawk. When Hermione felt her eyes leave their area, she nudged Severus' arm, smiling at him. "I caught that, Hermione. Now, for my forfeit, I want you to sing a love song to Severus!" cried Minerva, a gleam of triumph in her eyes.

"Alright, I'll give it a go. I don't have the best voice in the world, but I'm better than Neville!" Turning to Severus, she began:

"Set me as a seal upon your heart/As a seal upon your arm/

For love is strong as death/For love is strong as death./

Set me as a seal upon your heart/As a seal upon your arm/

For love is strong as death./

Many waters cannot quench love/Neither can the floods drown it/

Neither can the floods drown it, drown it/

Set me as a seal upon your heart/As a seal upon your arm/For love is strong as death."

When she had finished her song, tears were in her eyes, and Minerva was brushing tears off her cheeks with Hagrid's handkerchief.

"That was beautiful, Hermione. Where did you learn it from?" Albus queried.

"At a Renaissance fair this past summer. A group of singers performed it, and I was enchanted by its simple truths. I think it's fitting to be a love song for Severus," she replied, not removing her eyes from Severus. The Feast continued, and Hermione caught Professor Flitwick drop his fork into the fondue pot. She made him recite the raciest poem he knew, and the whole table blushed at the limerick he said. Eventually the forfeits returned to Albus, who caught Severus spill some of his wine on the tablecloth. Calling the forfeit, he conferred with Minerva for a moment before naming his price.

"Severus, I want you to stand up with Hermione and give her a long, passionate kiss," he finally said, mischief in his eyes.

Severus, who usually hated all thoughts of public embarrassment, just smiled and accepted the forfeit. Standing his love up, he bent over her, and gave her the passionate kiss, as per request. With the blood roaring in his ears, he failed to hear Albus and Minerva begin to bang on the table with their goblets. Soon they had the whole school's attention.

Ron and Harry both looked at the High Table the moment the loud banging began. When Ron saw what was causing the commotion, he quickly stood up from the table. Lavender, Harry, and Ginny followed suit, and soon the whole school was standing. The Slytherins were in shock, Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs were hooting and hollering, and the Gryffindors, well they were trying not to be in shock, but it was very hard.

"That's not right!" Ron exclaimed before he swooned into Lavender, who caught him quite handily.

Finally, the kiss broke off, and they sat back down in their seats. The rest of the school followed suit. Desserts appeared before everyone, taking place of the meal that had been on their plates. No one could think of a forfeit to top Severus and Hermione's kiss, so they dropped the ball for the evening.

When everyone had finished their desserts, Albus stood once more. "Now, as some of you may have heard, there is to be a dance tonight. Nothing formal, just a come-as-you-are type of thing. Now without further ado, I present the Johnstons!" As the group began to sing, Albus held out his hand to Professor Sprout and led her in the first dance. Minerva and Hagrid followed, with Severus and Hermione bringing up the rear. This motivated the other students to get up and dance as well. Harry maneuvered Ginny to where Severus and Hermione were.

"May I cut in, Professor?" Harry asked respectfully.

"Certainly, as long as you return her in the same condition you got her," he replied with a slight smile. Harry gaped at him, hard pressed to believe that the dour man he knew as his potions master had a soft - even funny - side. "Close your mouth, Potter. You'll catch flies before long." Handing Hermione to Harry, he took Ginny around onto the dance floor.

"So, that's where you got your ring. I hope he makes you happy, 'Mione."

"Very, Harry. I love him, and he loves me - in his own fashion."

"Well, you tell him that if he ever hurts you, he'll have Ron and me to answer to."

"I'll be sure to tell him, Harry," she responded with a gentle laugh. Slowly they glided towards Severus and Ginny. Ginny was red as a beet and giggling from something he'd said to her.

"I've brought her back sir, just like I took her. I'm glad you are happy. Merlin knows we all need some measure of happiness in this lull."

"I've never heard truer words, Harry," Severus replied as they switched partners. Hermione's comforting weight once more in his arms, they began to dance to a slow, almost mournful tune.

"It's called 'The Lambs on the Green Hills'. I've loved this song ever since Seamus played it for us during our fifth year, but it's so sad." As the last notes of the song faded into nothingness, Severus turned towards the doors.

"Let's go for a walk, Hermione," he suddenly said, anxious to be alone with her. They walked down to the lake, and sat underneath a weeping willow. Gazing at the stars, Severus crept his hand over until it clasped hers. Theirs was a comfortable silence, broken only by the sounds of their breathing.

************

Up in the Astronomy Tower, there was a fight going on between Albus, Minerva, and Sibyl as to who was going to use the telescope to watch Severus and Hermione. "Out of my way, Minerva! I was the one who predicted that two lovers would declare their love for each other tonight! Now I want to see it happen, and you can't stop me!"

"Sibyll, she's from my house, therefore I get telescope rights. I'll be sure to fill you in on the details."

"Ladies, ladies, there's no need to fight - just let me watch the two of them, he does trust me, after all."

With all the arguing over the use of the telescope, the three of them missed what they had wanted to see - the declaration of love. Sibyll finally got control of the telescope, and pointed it towards the weeping willow by the lake. All she saw was Severus and Hermione kissing.

************

Not realising they were the cause of such commotion up at the castle, Severus had begun to speak, while Hermione drank in his words.

"Never have I felt as strongly about anyone as I feel about you. It's like there was a hole in me I never realised was there until you came along and filled it."

"Severus, that's so beautiful! Have I told you yet?"

"Told me what?"

"That I love you, I'll you until the end of time."

"I love you too, Hermione. Ours will be an everlasting love." Taking her other hand, he turned her to face him, and gave her a light kiss. Of their own accord, her hands went behind his head, pulling him in for a harder kiss. Without breaking lip contact, they stood and his arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her body flush against his.

When their kiss broke, Hermione looked into his eyes with her own passion-filled ones and said in a firm, yet seductive voice- "Make love to me, Severus. I want to know you as a man knows a woman."

"Are you sure, 'Mione? This is a large step you're thinking about taking."

"I've never been more sure of anything in my life, Severus." With those words, he swept her up into his arms, and carried her off towards the dungeons.

************

"Quit looking Sibyll, and give someone else a chance to see!" Minerva said, getting very annoyed at not being able to see what was going on.

Sibyll took her eye from the lens. "It's no use now. He's sweeping her off somewhere. See, the Sight will always reveal all to the one who is open."

"Then why didn't you know this morning that our lovers were Severus and Hermione?" countered Minerva.

"When the Sight makes something clear is hard to tell. Sometimes, the visions are fuzzy. I'm off to my rooms - maybe I'll See something else tonight. Goodnight Albus, Minnie," she replied as she waltzed out the door.

"I swear, that woman drives me crazy! She knows I let no one call me Minnie - that was his name for me!" Anger formed two bright spots of color on her cheeks.

"So, do you think this was a true vision, or did she get extremely lucky?" Albus asked, trying to calm Minerva down.

"I'd give the extremely lucky theory my full support. She wouldn't know a true "Vision" if it bit her in the arse!"

"That's my girl! Let's get you to your room. It's late and you have to teach in the morning." Taking her arm, he walked with her to where her chambers were.

"Goodnight, Albus. Thank you for helping guide me home."

"Not a problem, Minerva. I'll see you in the morning." He turned and began to walk down the hall.

"Wait!" she called, running up to him. "I forgot - I never gave you what you asked for during the last forfeit!" With those words, she gave him a short kiss on the lips before turning and hurrying back to her rooms.

Touching his lips, a look of wonder spread over Albus' face. Chuckling to himself, he made his way to his chamber.

************

The trip to his quarters seemed to take infinitely longer than it ever had before. 'Maybe it's because I'm just so very anxious and nervous,' Hermione thought. Nuzzling her face into Severus' shoulder, she gave a soft sigh. Finally, though, they arrived in front of a stone wall with no visible door.

"Ave Verum Corpus," he whispered, and suddenly an opening appeared in the wall. Setting her down on her feet inside his personal chambers, he started a fire, and lit some candles, bathing the room in a soft glow.

The room revealed a lot about the man. There were few pieces of furniture - two chairs, a desk, a bookshelf, and a bed - but they were all of the finest quality. The books were mostly of potions, but hidden in them were works by Shakespeare, Blake, and other classical writers.

He returned to her side with a glass of red wine in each hand. Giving her one of the glasses, he took a sip from his. Following suit, she gave a small gasp at the heady taste of it.

"It isn't watered down, as your glass at dinner was, Hermione. That's why the flavour is stronger."

"It's very heady wine, Severus. A girl could lose her inhibitions very quickly."

"So could a man not used to love. Tell me, my dear, how well versed are you in the ways of passion?"

"Well, other than a little snogging with Viktor and Ron, not very experienced. Is that a bad thing?"

"No, love, it just means I'll have to take things slowly." Taking her glass, and setting it on the table that had somehow appeared in the last few moments, he began to kiss her again. While his lips were on hers, he began to unfasten her robes. Taking his cue, she began to work on getting his undone as well. Pulling the robes over their heads, they left them were they landed.

Soon, they lay sated in each other's arms. He brushed her hair from around her face. "That was wonderful, Severus," she whispered before snuggling deeper into his arms and falling into a deep sleep. Smiling softly at her, he soon fell fast asleep.

************

In his chambers, Albus smiled as he thought about the young lovers. Sometimes, fate just needed a gentle push, or in this case, a dose of 'Unrequited Love' potion.

'Happiness so often eludes us all,' he thought, 'that to not give the two of them a chance at grasping it seemed wrong.'

************

'It's time I put the past behind me, and start living once more,' she said as she gazed at his picture. Unlike most pictures in their world, this one didn't move. 'Wars are always good at bringing the love people share out into the open.'

Minerva put the picture back in her nightstand drawer and climbed into her bed, her dreams filled with all the love and laughter her life had lost so long ago.

************

"Harry, psst, Harry - do you think she's still with him?"

"Ron, the way they were looking at each other tonight, I don't think he's ever going to let her leave his side again."

"But, doesn't it squick you in the least?"

"No. She's happy, he's happy - that's reason enough to be thankful for this relationship. Besides, Hermione can fill us in on all the details, like if he has any scars or anything."

"And how would she know stuff like that?"

"What, you think they've been playing chess all this time? No, they're most likely having sex right about now. That's how."

"Oh, the mental images! That's just not right!"

And for the second time in 24 hours, Ron Weasley fainted. 'Who'd've thought he'd be a fainter? Oh, well, everyone needs love. I wonder how Mrs Weasley will take the news? I can't wait until summer!' and with those thought, Harry was fast asleep.

************

And in the North Tower, Sibyll was dreaming of chasing a little pink rabbit, which kept evading all of her attempts to catch it. Suddenly, the rabbit was in the arms of a young woman. Only it wasn't a rabbit any longer, it was a child. Taking a close look at the woman's face, Sibyll recognised her as Hermione. Then, Severus came to stand by her, one arm wrapped around Hermione's waist, the other around the baby. Smiling, dream-Snape said, "Isn't she lovely? And she's all ours," before kissing Hermione.

Sibyll awoke with a start, trying to hang onto her dream. Somehow, she felt it would be very important later on. Her guess about lovers revealing themselves, had just been fitting with the day. Try as she might though, it fled her mind moments later.

************

If she had remembered it, it would've been another true vision for her. But, alas, she never could remember dreams. For a few hours later, four people woke to the feel of a sharp shock. It was the Spark of Life - and it left one person smiling to himself, one person crying of happiness that these two unlikely lovers were blessed in a way she herself had never been blessed, one person slightly confused as he thought Hogwarts had no electricity to provide such a shock, and one person gazing with love at his helpmeet and the soon-to-be mother of his child

Completed: 31 January, 2002