4,821 - 4,840 of 5,438 Stories

Parody of songfics and weird pairings. Set to "My Beloved Monster" by the Eels. It's weird and disturbing, just to warn you.

Valentine's Day is just another day to argue for Ron and Hermione. But Hermione wants Ron to see her in a different light, and Ron is too stubborn to notice what she's trying to tell him. A sweet, fluffy one-shot inspired by the holiday.

Sirius hasn't been himself since reaching Grimmauld Place. Remus decides to do something about it. Hilarity ensues.

After Dumbledore's death, Hermione gets her first official Order assignment. Babysitting Draco Malfoy! Banter, hexes, Weasley products and craziness ensue. Dramione love/war story.

Voldie in love?!?!? But with whom? You'll never guess who, and you'll never guess how! And, with infusions of Monty Python and the Holy Grail and LOTR, how can you go wrong?

Harry is missing, Hermione is worried, Draco is being insufferable and Ron’s got a theory.... It’s just another day at Hogwarts.

Hermione has all the answers except for this one. Who does she like better Draco or Ron? Hermione is confused which is new for her, lights explode, tea is drunk, Ron sings, and Draco makes snide remarks, but not necessarily in that order. All in all a fun, light read.

Draco insults/injures a house elf and is punished in the most unbearable way. Chaos and comedy ensue. Will he survive and make it from Rags to Quiches?

Ginny is doing her homework late at night in Gryffindor Tower when suddenly she feel like she's being watched. Is someone there that shouldn't be there? Let's have our red-haired heroine find out.

Minerva McGonagall and Xiomara Hooch have been friends for a long time. But how long is a long time? What happens when they meet as young girls? Will two girls who are completely different ever get along?

She's a witch, she's a witch... How do you know... She turns me into a newt.... Well if the truth be told, the scene really didn't go that way, but Monty Python had to work in our word. Monty Slytherin, however, were free to tell the truth about the Witch.

Mrs. Norris goes prowling to find students breaking the rules. Unexpectedly, she makes a new friend.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione are on the train after their third year at Hogwarts, and Harry feels that he must have missed something in the movie. How did Professor Lupin know how to use that map?

Gilderoy Lockhart arrives at Hogwarts after three years in St. Mungo's. He has got his memory back, partially atleast. So who does he see in the portrait? And pray tell, why does he fall in love with that person?

At the annual Order reunion, Fred and George's children decide to follow in their fathers' footsteps... Chaos and general silliness ensues! Mild George/Alicia, Fred/Angelina, mentions of Lee/Katie.

A pantomime version of Harry Potter. Cue bad jokes, silly songs, quotes and puns galore and the obligatory custard pies. The plot - Voldemort plans to take over the world, Draco crossdresses and Ron collects Happy Meal toys. All together now: "Oh no he doesn't!"

What happens when everyone we can think of decide that they are sexually deprived all at once? This, evidently. Featuring Kelso!Draco, sulking!Umbridge, dragqueen!Harry, and insane!Authorettes, this galactially stupid one-shot was written with alternating words. That explains a lot. Proof that there can be an R-rated humourfic.

MacRon wants nothing more than to be Heir of Gryffindor and he will stop at nothing to achieve that. This is a parody of Shakespeare's Macbeth and also makes fun of the cliched aspects of HP fan fics. Nothing is sacred... nothing at all! Staring Harry (Duncan), Viktor (Banquo), Hermione (Lady Macbeth), and Draco (Macduff) and the Desperate girls (Myrtle, Lavender, and Padma).

A 23 yr.old Hermione Granger sharing a flat with Ginny Weasley is your typical modern woman. But just like any typical modern woman, she has her own share of lovelife problems. How will she get out being stuck in lovelife LIMBO? H/HR!

It came to me when I found a picture of Draco sitting by the fire in the Slytherin Common room.

They are large, they are mean, they are Crabbe and Goyle. They are bullies and they are tired of playing the second fiddle. Time to get some real friends.

Lupin and Snape are men on a mission, albeit one without any kind of thought-out plan. They're on their way to a small town somewhere in the Transylvanian mountains, but as for when they get there... well, they're just not all that certain about what they're actually supposed to be doing there. They are certain about one thing, however - there is no one they wouldn't rather be sent on a mission with than each other. ...But as we all know, it's not the goal but the journey there that matters! Right? Well, they're not thrilled about that, either.

"It was a miracle I had even been aloud into school with my ‘condition’, as my parents had called it, but to have a large tree that attacks you to protect me during the full moon, and for the nurse to look after me in the mornings, that was more than I ever could have expected."``The first time you meet a group of people can influence the rest of your life. Remus was terrified but ecstatic to be starting his first year of Hogwarts, but he had no idea how much a train ride could influence the rest of his life.

And so, another epilogue is upon us. This is an epilogue to Several Blushes and Cookies, but it's not neccessary to have read the others first. This is a new chapter where Malfoy makes a comeback of sorts and we find out why he's really wearing those dog tags.

Neville gets ready to ask Hermione to the Yule Ball. When that fails, he asks Ginny. What was he thinking through all of this? This mousy Gryffindor has some spunk after all. One-shot, missing scene fic, a Neville story.

What the Hogwarts ghosts get up to while the students and professors ``are away.

Harry was crap at dancing. Ginny doesn't much care.

Flesh eating chickens have come to terrorize Hogwarts students, one Care of Magical Creatures class at a time. Of course, Harry and Draco are first.

Lockhart kept a diary during the events of Chamber of Secrets, and here it is.

It's not easy being a toad, especially when you belong to one Neville Longbottom.

HP/Discworld crossover. Death is unimpressed with Voldemort's quest for immortality, especially when it involves his property, but is determined to be patient nevertheless. Voldemort is unimpressed with Death's interference and is most decidedly not going to be patient. The ensuing confrontation can only be described as "...FUN".

Draco is a very bad boy. Oh, he really is. But he luuuurves Pan-- Har-- stuff.

Flora and Fauna are about to start their third year at Hogwarts. All goes well, until the Chamber of Secrets is opened.

'The inelegant rumble in my stomach causes my face to contort in concentration. Of all the times to get wind, why now?!' Professor Snape is standing up there blowing like a huge bag of hot air.

This is some general oddness about all the characters being odd and doing odd things. Why? Because I said so! And as the author I am allowed to say so.

It's the beginning of the end... and Sirius is already causing trouble! The often humorous trials and tribulations of the Marauders in their last year at Hogwarts, through their never-ending classes, raucous pranks, and numerous relationships. Established Sirius x Remus, James x Lily.

ALL the Weasleys have red hair. A very silly little ficlet. R/H

Ginny is writing to Tom in the diary. What's happening to her. The story of The Chamber of Secrets from Ginny's point of view.

The Dark Lord is on the rise, and one by one people lose hope as people and things are torn from them. It is dangerous to be a student at Hogwarts, but our Marauders are fearless and are determined to spread chaos, mischief, and mayhem with all the enthusiasm of a basketful of puppies. Primary on this list is, of course, tormenting those who support the Dark Lord... SLYTHERINS. ``Pure and utter Marauders madness, starting with Sirius' midnight mayhem and progressing to all-out warfare between the Slytherins and Gryffindors. Featuring Sirius' teddy bear and random prank devilry.

"My favourite colour is pink. It’s not because Parvati likes it. Everyone thinks I do what Parvati does, because sometimes I do. But sometimes, I don’t..." - Life through the eyes of a girl that sees what others don't. LB/DT

Written for Lar's challenge: write a fic about Harry Potter characters attending Wee Wizards camp. You get extra bonus points for mentioning camp-type activities, i.e., crafts and campfires. ``Pansy finds herself with an unlikely partner and is none too happy about it. Then again, neither is he.

Draco Malfoy is asked by The Dark Lord to complete a task that has been annoying him for a while... hedges and read please ;)

Something is wrong with Draco and it is up to Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley to find out what! Will Ron give Malfoy the kiss of death? Will Draco remove those ridiculous boxer shorts? Will Malcolm Baddock show Professor Sprout his exotic killer plant? Only time can tell...

It was an accident. Hermione was not supposed to fall for Fred. Literally. F/Hr funny fluff.

When Ginny receives a Christmas present from her Mum, she sees that sometimes dropping a loop is the worst possible choice in knitting. (Hints at GW/DM.)

This is a tale of love and lies, mystery and deceit, loyalty and treachery, hate and corruption. No, wait! Wrong story... it's actually about... em... sock-puppets... and... Voldemort...and one big spell!

Harry Potter wants a certain blond co-worker, but Malfoy has no idea Harry's interested in him. Harry is desperate and will do anything to get Malfoy's attention. Tired of acting as Harry's stand-in therapist, Hermione gives Harry a journal for his birthday, in order to help him work out his feelings. What follows is a series of Harry’s ramblings and scribbles about his feelings and various failed attempts at courting one Draco Malfoy.

Voldemort attempts a spell, which backfires and robs him of his powers, forcing him to live a Muggle lifestyle, aided by his faithful servants, Bellatrix and Wormtail.

Where illusions are shattered! Where dreams are trodden in the dust! Where morons with an Imac type this s**t directly in with no revision. Watch for following pairings: Harry/Dumbledore, Padma/Dobby, Myrtle/life-size inflatable Aaron Carter doll in garter belt. Or maybe not, I don't know.

Remus Lupin was used to sneaking out of his dorms over the full moon, so good at it in fact, he was positive none of his friends would notice he'd gone, but as he sneaks back to the dorms just after the sun rise, he gets the shock of his life. “Where have you been, Remus?” James Potter, one of Remus's best friends, was never stupid, but now Remus must decide whether he wants to keep his secrets, or his best friends.

Mrs Black is snogging Caradoc Dearborn on his last Order mission. Written for Fiction Alley Park's Valentine's Day OTP challenge 2005.

On his first birthday after the Battle of Hogwarts, Angelina visits George with some news. Written for the Rebirth Challenge at The Quidditch Pitch.

What you didn't see in Snape's Pensieve.

Harry and Ginny hate each other, and now they're in each other's bodies! Join them through their tough time being each other!

Just a little Lockhart story, subtitled They Think I've Lost My Mind.

Voldemort Transfigures Harry into a donkey. It's a pity he didn't take Ali Bashir a bit more seriously.

An innocent Muggle meets the Death Eaters.

We've all seen interviews with the movie cast of Harry Potter, but what about the actual people in the books? Rita Skeeter now has her own chat show, and now the cast get their chance to speak.

Hermione makes an entry in her diary about some strange happenings at Hogwarts. Muggles have arrived, and it's all her fault!

Harry's running from the press at the Quidditch World Cup! Can Oliver save the day? Sporks, the weapon of choice.

A rainy Saturday with nothing to do. Six teens. Hormones. What do all these have in common, you ask? ...Don't say we didn't warn you.

This is when members of Hogwarts receive random fan mail. Chaos shall ensue with the random letters they receive.

The Wizarding World's on strike, Harry's scar hurts and the Dark Lord pays a visit.

What's really going on with Tonks and Lupin? What's going through Remus's mind? And where is James when you need him?

A journal, or rather, a log of thoughts from one of Hogwarts finest pranksters--aside from the Weasley Twins. Get into the mind of Sean Atkins, a fifth year Gryffindor with unique sense of humor. However, he makes drastic changes to his carefree and aloof lifestyle when he meets, ahem, the "girl of his dreams" and begins to chase after her. People think of him as a mental case--after he cleans up himself and his act... A good story about just being yourself when all else fails.

Seems like all the kids with the great brains have the disadvantage when it comes to Apparating, so it's no surprise that the goof-ball, James Potter, does it better than the smart girl, Lily Evans.

Scylla is a sixteen-year-old girl who was raised in London, England. Scylla is madly in love with her best friend, Terry, but doesn't know if he feels the same. Now her parents are trying to fix her up with none other than Draco Malfoy. Will Scylla choose Draco or Terry? Will she win the man of her dreams or fall for the mysterious Draco?

"Hey, hey, now, Mr. Safety-Man. It was your idea to make the whole place impenetrable to magical entry, remember? And besides, what would our lovely Muggle neighbors think if I just bombarded down the door?" Harry is having some trouble with his keys. Hermione is amused. Smirking ensues. (One-shot)

Harry, while on assignment for the Order post-Hogwarts, stumbles across a meeting of the Society for Creative Anachronism.

Nick is turned down for the Headless Hunt (again) and finds a sympathetic ear in the form of second year Luna Lovegood. However when she hatches a scheme to decapitate him properly, is Nick really ready to fix his little problem permanently?

An out-take, showing exactly how MWPP learnt to do the reversal spell in the shrieking shack.

An eighteen-year-old Dung Fletcher is in dire need of money, and together with a friend he comes up with the idea of the century... to rob Gringott's.

McGonagall, Dumbledore, Moody and Arthur decide to go bowling.

'...Naturally everyone has their mish-mash days, but mine generally only happen when the wanglesgrout has lodged itself up my nose again.' Neville asks Luna how she is, and ends up going in over his head. Luna/Neville.

The story so far... Harry has just found Tom Riddle in the Chamber of Secrets. Tom has begun to recount a tale of his past exploits though Harry remains blissfully unaware of the nature of Tom’s true identity. Tom kindly decides to help him out...

Bad things are happening at Hogwarts. It must be the Slytherins' faults.

Hermione searches for something she lost and, with Ginny's help, realizes she doesn't need it afterall. One-shot. Ron/Hermione, Harry/Ginny

Draco finally realizes what he's put into his hair. Who's going to rescue his precious locks if not Harry?

One night, on a dark heath, the Dark Lord met with his minions for a night of bloodthirsty deeds. But the Death Eaters didn't really fancy all that evilness (it was a bit chilly, after all), so they showed Lord Voldemort the wonder that is The Sound of Music. Watch him laugh, cry and skip about in an amusing manner.

A bride-to-be and a groom-to-be steal a few minutes alone, away from the mad world all around them. H/G

An author named Joanne speaks with an increasingly flustered Harry Potter about a series of books she has written about his time at Hogwarts. Harry is worried about the many glaring inconsistencies within the stories, and several odd titles, such as 'Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone'.

What happens when Ravenclaw House has a baby staying with them? How do the Ravenclaws deal with it---not to mention the teachers! Set in the _Slytherin Rising_ universe.

My name is Gilderoy Lockhart and I am perfect. I magnetically and magically attract the love of every sane human being, as well as that offer from that one wizard with a really good imagination but who unfortunately lives in Bangkok.

Jacquelyn Randolf wants this Christmas to be the best Christmas for her and her orphaned brother and sisters. What happens when she gets her wish? How does Hogwarts and Harry Potter fit into all of this?

This is the last battle, in a humorous way. A chicken, some radioactive squirrels, a turkey, some frogs and a fox made their way into this unique fic. Read, if you dare.

After a talk with Harry and Ginny, Ron finds out exactly why trees are so important.

Where Ginny is disobedient, and it's Ron to the rescue. The hidden dangers, and rewards, of a sunny summer afternoon.

Who knew that warring roommates could help your spellwork?

Mr. and Mrs. Sinclair are confused about their Floo bill. A Mr. S. Black has been using the fireplace, but the only other residents are the Jarvey and their large dog, Harold...

Harry is being chased by Death Eaters, until he is cornered. What will happen in the end?

Remus and Sirius discover that Summoning Charms can have unexpected consequences. (R/S)

A potions accident leaves Snape as a cat until who-knows-when. Harry's already got his hands full when a prankster starts sabotaging the rebuilding of Hogwarts. But what if it's not just a prank?

"It was a beautiful, lazy Sunday, and only the most studious of students were in the library. Most were seventh years. All were being heckled by Madam Pince." Blaise has a typical Sunday morning.

Eugene knows everything. Creepy isn't it.``Hinted at past R/Hr``Definite H/Hr

The celebration of Draco's birthday leads to a fight with Harry, who only wanted to share his Muggle customs.

The summer before OotP, Dobby has had enough of Winky's drinking. A Dobby/Winky shorty.

(During Harry's second year.) Furious at how Lucius Malfoy is spreading word about the flying car incident, Arthur Weasley confronts him at the Ministry of Magic. Chaos and slash ensue. [AW/LM]

Strange things are happening to our heroes. Who is responsible?

This story is littered with clichés, blind dates, rather poor attempts at humour, more clichés, and perhaps, if you are lucky, a few happy endings as well. D/G.

A brief look into the teen angst-filled life of James Potter as he walks down the ever-changing hallways of Hogwarts.