4,201 - 4,220 of 5,438 Stories

"Shall I tell you something? I hate cats. With a passion. I hate cats. And dogs, too, come to think of it. I hate dogs, as well." Severus Snape

Maybe Harry is a bit of a stereotypical male when it comes to women. And maybe Ginny is an academic who's just achieved the best N.E.W.T. levels in the whole school... so what'll happen when they meet after the dux ceremony by the scenic lake? A light-hearted look at the confusion surrounding 'the future' for students, and also the fine physical line between friendship and 'something more'....

Come one! Come all! Can a Crossover of Hannibal and Harry Potter be done? Of course it can, you nitwit! This fic brings a whole new meaning to H/Hr. Get a clue! The H doesn't stand for Harry in this one! Plays about the Malfoys and drooling contests ensue, along with mad snog sessions.

Harry Potter has finally defeated Lord Voldemort, and in "reward" gets a temple built to his honour. No one wishes to hire Harry - as they are scared of his Divine Powers. This is not an acceptable situation, and Harry takes action.

Weasleys, Weasleys, and more Weasleys, but for a reason. Each chapter is a story about a Weasely and their favorite fruit... and how they got their favorite fruit. 1st chapter's Bill! Moral: Never get in between a Weasley and their fruit... especially not on said Weasleys' birthday.

Snape is going to end this war, one way or another.

Alastor Moody has fought dangerous Dark magic and won, but there is still yet one thing he fears–Nymphadora Tonks on a mission of good will in the name of skin care. It’s up to him to either stop her or beat her at her own game.

The title says it all! Tom Jones (LOL), Fangirl Petunia, and Snape's tea party!

Hermione wrestles with the idea of Ron as a friend or boyfriend. CONFUSION ENSUES! A songfic to 'So Complicated' by Carolyn Dawn Johnson. R & R please!

Fred wants a dog more than anything, and he'll do anything to get one. Anything at all.

An epiphany by firelight helps Harry realize he's in love with Ginny and cannot possibly compete with Dean Thomas. But things go awry (and away) when he tries his hand at a helpful spell. Includes lots of improper charms work. But no goats.

Something rather strange happens during a Divination lesson, and Harry decides he doesn't like eating fish.

Blaise and Mr Zabini, while in Knockturn Alley, talk about Blaise\\\'s permission slip, hobbies and love.

Luna and Ginny practice for the D.A. Hilarity ensues. Minor OotP spoilers.

The kids are crying, the ceiling's leaking, and Ron is having bad dreams. I'm sure someone can help him out with that on a relaxing Sunday morning... R/Hr fluff.

Short one-shot story about Harry's - and Hermione's - ah...interesting choice of jobs.... This story includes SLASH (Snape/numerous Gryffindor boys).

Next in the Monty Python series--it's Draco's turn! Enjoy!

Thanks to a bet lost to Malfoy, Ron gets in touch with his feminine side and finds out why the Queen is the most powerful piece on the chess board. Featuring CabaretDrag!Ron, Disco!Harry, and 'Fro!Hermione

Fred attempts to cheer Angelina up after her first practice as Captain for the Gryffindor Quidditch team.

Ron has an accident in his closet while getting ready for his date with Luna...then Harry and Hermione make a trip to the closet after having a jinx fiasco.

After an incident at work, Draco is forced to see a therapist or risk losing his job. To say he's angry is putting it lightly. But when he gets to the office and sees the name Ginevra M. Weasley on the door... well... it only adds fuel to the flame. But Ginny isn't exactly ready to embrace Draco with open arms, either....

Harry is back at Hogwarts, and he finds himself fighting for a girl with none other than... Draco Malfoy! New relationships form and Harry is recovering slower than expected from the death of his late godfather. Voldemort returns, and there is some Star Wars action!

Hijinks in Care of Magical Creatures; MWPP humour, pure and simple.

Maybe those fumes in Potions have some side effects, because Harry and Ron are seeing Hermione talking with Malfoy. But probably Malfoy is just evil and put her under the Imperius curse. Meanwhile the Weasley twins are spending some quality time in the Slytherin dungeons. (Let me tell you Snape is not one happy camper in this fic.) Some Hufflepuffs are trying to get a boyfriend they don't have to share. Everyone else is just off trying to get lucky... and they took the plot with them.

In appreciation of the author's inclusion of more humorous stories, the Hogwarts students invite me to spend sometime with them in their world. A continuation of sorts from "I Panicked."

What would happen if Neville decided that Snape deserved a taste of his own medicine?

Vivica Sophronia lives with both her parents, with her mother being a witch... and her father being a Muggle. She struggles through her father's impatience about her stupid dreams. Vivica has been wanting to attend Hogwarts ever since she turned eleven. And now this being the last year that she has a chance she anxiously awaits her letter. Not only does she want``to go because she enjoys the art of magic all in it's self... but also because of another desire in her heart. She has never been kissed, and awaits till she receives it from the one she truly loves. Will she receive her letter? What is that other desire of hers?

When shopping for his mother's Chritmas gift, Draco happens upon something perfect for someone else.

A post-Hogwarts scenario. Harry Potter wanted to have a phoenix. Ernie Macmillan works in a pet-shop. It's as simple as that. Featuring a dead parrot and a hint of slash.

In which Hermione puts her Omniculars to good use, Fred is tutored, the prefect's bathroom is violated, and Harry's invisibility cloak has many stories to tell.

'It's because you're a Muggle-born, and Muggle-borns are always stupid, ignorant, and with dirty blood. But I find you as a diamond in the rough, plus, I like your cat.' Parallel to the Harry Potter series.

Luna Lovegood becomes a passenger on the Knight Bus, and meets Stan Shunpike, its conductor. Stan has a plan to take the Knight Bus... on water. Luna brings her oranges, Stan freaks out, and LUV STINKS.

The muffin incident... there is an incident with a muffin. A short story involving a particularly delectible pastry. (This story is AU, or No-U... depending on your perspective, I guess.)

Sequel to 'Drawing Board' to the song 'Moving On'. Hear Ginny's side on things, and how she feels about a certain Slytherin. Does he feel the same? What happens?

Because Draco had certain, shall we say, difficulties with his last Potions essay, he has been forced into detention with Potty Wee Potter, scrubbing cauldrons. It seems simple, but for some odd reason, Draco cannot pull himself together. Everything is just so FUNNY, somehow.

Birthday surprises ensue when Lily, Remus and Sirius celebrate their 17th birthday's together at the Black's country home.

"We had nothing to worry about back then, except who was friends with who. We were innocent and knew nothing of bloodshed and eternal damnation..." - Remus Lupin

Featuring all the usual characters, a bunch of OCs with familiar sounding names, beating up Malfoy, the easiest way to defeat Lord Voldemort, and seals. Yes, seals.

Snowballs is a game with one objective. Cause as many humourous problems for your opponent as possible, without being touched yourself... Well, Draco and Harry aren't as good as they wish they were...

Holidays at Happy Wizards Retirement Home are always exciting! Pancake breakfasts with Bingo make them even MORE exciting, though Hermione apparently hates both pancakes and bingo. Will Harry stay awake long enough for the festivities? Will Ginny remember what she was doing five minutes ago? Find out here in the third HAPPY WIZARDS RETIREMENT HOME!

Weird and pointless little one-shot fic about Ginny's life crumbled into two trashy pieces of printing paper. A little funny, somewhat morbid, about the transformation from Innocent Curious Freckled Ginny - to - Bad Punk Ginny.

Long before Hermione wore buns, a little boy named Tommy Riddle lived in a rundown old orphanage. When Orion Jensen and his young apprentice Albus Dumbledore discover the boy's magical powers, complications lead to anger, and anger leads to another segment in the saga. The Phantom Vampire attacks!!

What would you do if you suddenly woke up in the middle of the Sorting Ceremony and discovered you were an American transfer student? The tale of our hapless heroine--trapped in a world she never made--continues with as many bad cliches as possible.

Inspired by WIKTT and my brother’s dark humor. Hermione receives a letter from Severus on Christmas Eve. It’s a HG/SS fic.

In which Hermione reflects over causes and their ability to hide behind certain effects.``(R/Hr)

The Sorcerer's Stone movie gets a makeover- along with some help from a really pervy Snape, Gryffindor bashing, and more references to obscure 80's cult movies than you can shake a bowtruckle at!

Harry and Hermione are getting married. See what Hermione, Ron, Malfoy, and even Loony Luna think about it!

Christian's life turns up sidedown when her parents' divorce and she moves with her mother to a boring home on Privet Drive. To make matters worse, Christian must now deal with her mum's new lover. He is handsome, polite, and did I mention a wizard and a werewolf?

Sirius Black never knew that baby-sitting little Harry could be so dangerous, so deadly, so--mortifying. For him, at least. After all, his Animagus was supposed to be a frightening dog, not a cute, cuddly teddy bear.

When Hermione stumbles into a crisis and disappears, Harry goes on a quest to find his girl and bring her back. And all he has on his side is a deranged Frenchwoman, a tattered copy of a book that no-one should want to read, and the knowledge that night-time is the best time to wash your hair.

Even our favourite bunch of Slytherins were adolescents once. Now we get to laugh at the expense of Draco, Pansy, Crabbe and Goyle, and all the others! Rated for language and crude humour.

Hagrid needs to die an exceedingly painful death. Here's my suggestion.

Third Year promises to bring about many changes for Sirius Black and James Potter – some making more sense than others.

The seventh-years have been studying the complex spell to begin their years as Animagi. Finally, after all their hard work, the students find out which animal they are as Animagi. Professor McGonagall and 'Mad-Eye' Moody supervise while some unexpected transformations take place.

Ginny and Malfoy have a confrontation in her 5th year. What happens at the end leaves one of them shocked.

This is basically Harry Potter meets the Fast Show. To those who have never seen the Fast Show it will make no sense, but it's good for a cheap laugh whether you're a fan or not.

Fourteen-year-old Paige, just tranferred from Spain to Hogwarts. She is running from her past, but will it catch up to her? the results could be deadly if she can't keep ahead of the chase. Slight mystery and some humor.

Harry's feet continued to carry him towards Snape's office, while his mind was battered relentlessly by comments such as, "I'm sure kissing Snape would be wonderful, even if he doesn't brush his teeth," and "You know what they say about men with big noses."

This is the diary of Pansy Parkinson, and her sixth year. What will she do when her beloved Draco goes out with girl!Blaise Zabini? She needs to get Draco back... but when she finally does get him back, after chocolates, a makeover, excessive shopping, and an image consultant, does she really want him? Pansy has to decide, the changed Pansy must decide between an unlikely new love interest, and the one who she's been pining for years after. Not what you may think!

The only fic of its kind! Bruiser, Basher, Rat, and Paix are the Quidditch balls of Hogwarts. Join them in their crate and in a game to see how they really operate!

Willow is a respectful senior member of society. He has a romantic streak as wide as a mile and he is determined to help all the people in love near him.

What happens when Cornelius Fudge visits Margaret Thatcher to tell her about the magical community? How does she react? Find out in this little fic about the day that the female Prime Minister meets the Minister of Magic.

Sirius goes to see his first –and last- concert with the Hobgoblin’s. An argument takes place, with a disastrous result for poor Stubby Boardman.

It's Christmastime again at the Weasley residence and everyone has come to join in on the holiday fun! Hermione, a drunken Harry, Trevor the toad, and... Draco Malfoy? This is sure to be a Christmas holiday no one will forget.

Your name is Argus Filch. You'd do anything to be a wizard. Even fall in love with the moat monster.

Contrary to popular belief, Katie Bell's crush is not on Oliver Wood.

A short conversation between Ron and Harry about the latter's relationship with Snape.

Draco has a problem in the, uh, bathroom. How will he solve his predicament? And how does Hermione fit in the picture?

The war is over, and those who made it through are moving on -- one way or the other. Poor Lucius Malfoy is in for a nasty surprise...

Dobby's needs aren't being fufilled at Hogwarts, so he goes to Hagrid in a last ditch attempt. Warning: This contains blatant slash! Half of the people who read this were squicked, the other half loved it. Just remember that it's humor - and read on at your own risk. *winks*``This fic contains adult situations that may not be suitable for all readers. Reader discretion is advised.

Ginny turns fifteen and can get whatever she wants. She wants Hermione.

VOLDEMORT! The Musical: The breathtaking story of the young, sinister Tom Riddle and his ascent to power as You-Know-Who! ``Rita Skeeter's defamation of the show only covered one page! ``Ludo Bagman BETS it will run on Diagon Alley for years to come! ``Includes the hit songs "Defying Mortality," "Suddenly, Slughorn," and "Boy Who Lived"!

It's the Hallowe'en of Uric "the Oddball" Beaufolle's third-year at Hogwarts. Old magic stirs, the castle comes alive and Uric meets a lady with a certain fondness for badgers.

They handed Hermione an envelope and she reached her hand in and pulled out photos. She burst out laughing and everyone crowded around her to see what was so funny. It was photos of Ron as a nude little baby. One was of him shaking his little baby butt, another was his mother trying to force him into a diaper and him squalling. Ron blushed into the roots of his hair and Hermione, not wanting to embarrass her fiancé, put them away

Insanity breaks out in Hogwarts following the Weasley twins' departure from Umbridge's regime, and Blaise Zabini reflects on the role his House has to play in the school's new atmosphere.

Add together one ladies' man, one Quidditch player, one extremely caring individual and one soon to be traitor. Mix them together with one imaginative idiot, one fiery red head, one scarily intelligent Ravenclaw and one blonde artist. Make sure to stir counterclockwise until trouble occurs and you are dealing with one of the best loved 'gangs' in Hogwarts' History. In Things Aren't Always Black and White we follow the story of four boys, the marauders, and four equally troublesome girls. We see them deal with their first encounters of love, sorrow, heartache and Death Eaters. How will these eight soon to be order members cope with the ordeals that life throws at them?

Queue in theme from

Harry never knew that anybody, even (Loony) Luna Lovegood, could actually make oranges the highlight of his day...

The world is ending. The world was spinning. Everything was black. Mindless, weightless, sugarspun fluff. Harry/Luna with mentions of Blaise/Hermione and Ron in lacy stockings.

Draco seeks comfort and finds it in the most unlikely of places...Fluffy ficlet set at Hogwarts in Christmas time. D/G alert!

How did Lily and James become a couple? Well..with the help of their friends, of course. And during a Halloween masquerade ball, the pre-destined couple finds out what everyone else already seemed to know...they were meant for one another...

Eleven-year-old Lily Evans has an argument with her sister, Petunia, about whether magic exists.

It's disgusting, shameful, improper, and indecent... 'Tis a terrible thing to be uxorious!

Harry turns thirty today. A party is being held for him at the Burrow, but he's dreading it. Why?

It is year six at Hogwarts. Sirius's death still weighs heavily on Harry's heart. Dumbledore has enlisted help from the American Order of the Dragon, a group which used Muggle science and magic to destroy the dark wizard Asmodeus. One will be the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher while the other member will be the one who defeated Asmodeus. He is a student Harry's age who also happens to be half dragon.

Sequel to 'The Final Goodbye'. Songfic to 'Crashed the Wedding' by Busted. Draco's getting married and Harry doesn't like it. The bride? Padma. Lucius' pimp cane? Irreplacable.

While visiting Japan, the trio ends up going through the Bone Eaters Well and find themselves in Feudal Japan, where they meet six traveling companions. The trio joins the group and they find lost hope, discover new friendships (not really), and try to find a way home. HP/IY Crossover.

James, Sirius, Remus, Peter, and Snape (yes, Snape) decided after watching a MPFC marathon at Lily's house to write their own episode of the tv show. This is that script.

It's fifth year! Time for a little career counseling from our favorite Potions Professor....

McGonagall started and dropped her glasses. "Mr Black!" she exclaimed.

Memories are what keeps a person alive. And memories can become dreams. But what if dreams become nightmares? An encounter with Godric takes a toll on Salazar as he realizes this, which turns out to be the most painful experience of his life. Godric/Salazar. SLASH

Harry returns to the Burrow after an extended period of self-exile following the final battle. Ginny reacts unpredictably.

A short fluffy fic that takes place between the dramatic stories, acting as a rest stop before the end of Voldemort draws near. Harry wants to attend a Christmas party with Luna, and ditch their chaperone Snape. Luna decides that even the old Grinch deserves a little holiday cheer.

A play performed for the guests at the Malfoy Manor on New Years Eve, 1996.

Sequel to Voldie's Tea Party. After Voldie gets Harry hooked on tea paries, he, Ron, and Hermione begin to have tea meetings. But then, their guests disappear. Were they kidnapped? Did they run away? NO! You'll just have to see what did happen for yourself exactly what happened.

Lucius gets a very unexpected visitor at the Manor.

This is a one-shot I wrote for one of my best friends. It's quite good, if I do say so myself. This certainly is one of my better stories. It's a story about Harry and Ron. There's a romance thingy and a lot of funny thingies. :P

Lucius Malfoy is brought before a court to face charges of being a Death Eater. He also does everything in his power to convince them he is insane and unfit to stand trial. Told completely by the judge.

What's a wizard to do if he needs to break into a Muggle high-security area without leaving a trace? Why, call in expert help, of course! Advice and assistance are especially vital when the security measures to be evaded are in the Tower of London, and the target is the Crown Jewels. Unfortunately, when Mundungus Fletcher is the expert in question, there's no guarantee things will go smoothly ... [Written for the

Successful young entrepreneurs Fred and George Weasley -- whose products sometimes seem almost magical! -- are interviewed by the 'Sunday Times Magazine'.