The Love Bus

Stan Shunpike glanced at the 15-year-old blonde girl curled up in the front seat. He wondered briefly why she was here, seeing as it would be at least two weeks until the next Hogwarts year began.

Luna Lovegood was reading an article in the Quibbler intently about Hypoerelis Javeranias, which she was supposedly some kind of plant. She had then blabbed on about it being the main ingredient in a wrinkle removing spell called "Bow-tocks". Whatever that was.

This is the girl that had helped Harry Potter defeat those Death Eaters earlier this year? Stan thought. Though, there certainly was something unnerving about her.

She was quiet, staring into the magazine as if it were all about the Weird Sisters or something. Stan briefly remembered the two girls--an Indian one and some colorfully named person--who had been on the bus a few weeks ago to get their books. They had giggled incessantly while talking about boys in movies, boy bands (though the Weird Sisters were the only one he knew), boys at school...mostly just boys, actually.

"Where are we going?" asked Luna, suddenly, jolting Stan from his thoughts, which were quickly wandering to that girl on that Quidditch team that was the sister to one of the Weird Sisters...why did she turn me down? I'm sure my acne wasn't that bad seventh year....

"Oh, er...I thought you wanted to go to Diagon Alley."

"No...I don't really care. I just wanted to get away from Dad and all. It's been so hectic," Luna moaned. "Got lots of things happening. Too bad I'm having my period this week...cramps make it bloody hard to think..."

"Well...er..." For a girl, she was certainly direct. And graphic. "That's, er, interesting. Wonderful."

"No, it's not," stated Luna simply. "It's horrible, the pain is everywhere, and I just keep having these horrible mood swings--"

"Oh, really?" Stan pretended to be busy reading the Daily Prophet, hoping Luna would drop the subject. Apparently Fudge had finally been caught by the "fashion police" also known as Rita Skeeter. Stan agreed--that green bowler hat was ghastly.

"Yeah." The witch glared at him a bit suspiciously. "What, am I making you nervous?"

"Well--"

"Oh, okay, I'll shut up then," Luna shrugged abruptly and went back to her magazine.

"Actually, now that you mention it, there is this experiment I wanted to do," the young conductor said, shutting his newspaper, a bit embarrassed.

"Oh, what about?" Luna leaned forward, interested.

Stan opened up happily. "It's with the Knight Bus. Muggles can't see it, and it can go pretty fast, according to the passengers--though I've never noticed it, personally. Plus, it can squeeze between cars, and, well, it can do all sorts of stuff."

Stan thought he should make a proper introduction for his brilliant plan. After all, it wasn't usual that he got such an attentive audience. Most people were too busy throwing up or yelling obscene language at Ernie's driving. And then you got the weirdoes who did all sorts of odd things. Like that one man who came on the Bus and was wearing women's evening wear, singing the Spice Girls at the top of his lungs...

And there was always the chance people would laugh at him, but Luna seemed oddly fascinated. The tall youth took a deep breath.

"I want to see if the Knight Bus can go drive on water."

"Drive on...?" There was a long pause as Luna furrowed her eyebrows. "Hmm."

"Whut?" Stan peered at her carefully.

"You know what? I think you should try it on the Atlantic first."

Stan blinked. "Whut?"

"I mean, it's pretty nearby and all, and the English Channel would be hard since it's right over that Muggle transport system, right. So I think that would be a very good place to start. You should drive the bus yourself, since Ernie isn't really young. We could drop him off before we leave and all. And then we can start right after that..." Luna's eyes went thoughtful and she looked at the ceiling as if there were a hundred galleons plastered to the ceiling. Stan looked up, just in case.

Then the penny dropped in his mind, and he stared. Did she say that... "You want ter come with?"

"Of course. I've always wanted to see the ocean, anyway."

Stan paused, trying to think of an excuse. "Yeah, but...what about your hectic life thing? And wanting to get away and all?"

"This is exactly the getaway I need! ...I wonder if I should bring my new bikini..." Luna muttered.

"I can't bring a passenger with me on this trip!" Stan spluttered, going for another angle.

"And why not?" Luna inquired quietly, her blue eyes imploring. "I'm helping you and all."

"But you're just a child!"

"And you're just the guy who conducts the Knight Bus and stutters at all the girls who ride it!" Luna smiled knowingly, as Stan blushed.

"Oy, that's a lie!"

"No, actually, it's pretty obvious," Luna said informatively. "Now, c'mon, let's go!" She paused. "Oh no wait! Let me just send a letter to Dad." Luna had long before put down her magazine, but now she picked it up suddenly and looked at the cover. She frowned, turned it upside down, and focused on it once more. The girl then scribbled something on a piece of parchment and sent it with her owl.

The brown animal flew out quickly--a big mistake, being the fact of Ernie driving. Stan winced as it banged into a light post and then slowly meandered away.

He turned round back at Luna, who was searching through her things. "D'you think I should bring some oranges? I should think they should come in handy...oranges always do..."

Stan sighed and rubbed his hands over his eyes. I am an idiot, aren't I?