3,141 - 3,160 of 5,429 Stories

Love, money, and Quidditch: three things that make the world go round. The wizarding world is caught up in the glamorous, hedonistic lives of those Quidditch stars vying for their place in the spotlight while old stars provide plenty of thrills and front-page tabloid material along the way. Sex, lies, deceit, drugs, all in a Quidditch day’s work. Shifting ships and slash.

I was told that I would write a story about Narcissa, paired with Harry. It would involve latex, and end in an embarrassing revalation. Consider the following my one shot to take out the plot bunny that was released in my head. Hope you have as much fun reading it as I did hunting it down.

Seamus Finnigan isn't sure what to deal with first: the reputation, or the lack of anything real to back it up. Seamus/Blaise, some H/D, Hr/R.

What happens when Harry, Hermione, Ginny, and Ron end up in the land of the cyclops? How did they get there? How do they get out of there? Harry Potter version of The Odyssey.

Ron, being the ever-mindful, sensitive friend that he is, has totally forgotten to get Hermione's birthday present. Join him as he races like made, going through dental floss and other random objects, trying to find the perfect gift for Hermione. And yes - as always, there is Draco abuse. R/Hr; written script format.

Coffee and a Muggle conspiracy cause Harry to fall in love with his worst enemy. Join him as he embarks on a journey of confusion, anger, depression, acceptance, and pure insanity. Read at your own risk.

Sequel to "Words Spilling Forth" and "Telling No Lies". Draco knows all the (dis)advantages of being pregnant.

Severus Snape was trying to look on the bright side.

There is a leak which seems likely to jeopardise the whole wizarding world. In order to assess and repair it, Snape, McGonagall, Hermione and Ron are sent to live as Muggles. The Muggles are fans of the popular Harry Potter books - little do they know the truth behind the fiction. Inspired by The Potion Master's Muse "The Witching Hour" Challenge.

It is the traditional Mary-Sue parody fic. What more can I say?

Ron Weasley, Harry Potter's trusted friend and sidekick is always overlooked. Lucky for him, he stumbles across a potion that will make him irresistible ... but will he be happy with his new-found popularity? Laughs and romance abound!

Just a cute songfic containing H/Hr. The song is "Look Good in Leather" which I love and always makes me laugh. Harry gets up his courage to ask Hermione out. Has a dancing Harry in leather and sunglasses!

Long before she was a Hogwarts professor, Anna Vector was just a girl looking for a dance partner. Bill Weasley was happy to help. A potion gone wrong, a flask of Firewhiskey, and the man in the moon add up to one unforgettable New Years Eve. ````A stand-alone companion to By the Numbers and Unbalanced Equations.

Sue’ing where it ain’t never been Sue’d before! Charity Dagrun Gryon transfers to Hogwarts for sixth year; and seems awfully familiar with a place she’s never been before. Through a series of dreams it’s revealed to her she must go through the Veil to rescue the Founders of Hogwarts, and after that, everything goes horribly wrong. Time paradoxes like you’ve never seen before! Also featuring: the Malfoys as demons from across the Veil, Destinyless!Harry, Abused!Draco and Sir Gloat-A-Lot Slytherin. A must read for everyone who wants a break from the serious Sue!

Two girls stumble into the dormitory, hand in hand, and collapse onto a bed in fits of laughter. Hr/G, light and fluffy.

Draco likes chocolate. Draco likes chocolate a lot. So when Harry was in the hospital wing alone with his tons of chocolate from adoring fans, Draco couldnt help but want to pay him a visit. However, there were many problems with this. Find out what these are, how Draco overcomes them and if he gets Harry's chocolate. With appearances from most of the favourite Hogwarts cast. Harry/Draco.

Harry and Hermione discover why Ron's ears are blue, and Ron discovers much more than he wanted to about Ginny.

Head Boy James Potter does not get on with Head Girl Lily Evans. After a particularly bad argument, he takes her to the cinema to apologise. Sirius Black decides to get involved.

When Ron and Harry decided to play a joke on Professor Snape, they had no way of knowing that it would go wrong, or rather, that it would seem to go wrong. (HG/SS)

All is well in Hermione's life, until she gets herself into detention with none other than Draco Malfoy. Another installment of the Inverted Boggart series.

Neville likes Ginny, but doesn\'t know how to tell her. Enter Luna, who agrees to help Neville win Ginny\'s heart in exchange for his assistance on some experiments. But when Luna\'s experimental potions have some surprising results, Neville begins to wonder if he\'s chasing the right girl. (N/G, N/L)

Tonks goes through a short phase of styling hair.

The title says it all. This is a parody of the classic Monty Python Dead Parrot sketch...

The Marauders have left one hell of a legacy. Follow a single night of the Marauding Softpaws, Whitestripe, and Trigger as they play a simple yet effective trick.

A HP romantic comedy, strongly based on Shakespeare's Much Ado About Nothing. If you know the play, Harry is Claudio, Ginny is Hero, Draco is Benedick and Hermione is Beatrice. If you don't really know the play, Harry and Ginny are in love, and plot to make Draco and Hermione fall in love too. Fluffy and funny, relevant ships are H/G and D/Hr.

A terrible day strikes both Harry and Draco as they enter a shop in Hogsmeade, whether on their own will or not you will have to see, each begins to appreciate the others life. Takes place in the sixth year disregarding other events.

Post Hogwarts. Ron and Hermione have been skirting around their feelings for each other for years. Perhaps a little interference from Fred and George would help get them together? Or perhaps not...

Sirius wants to tell James and Peter about his relationship with Remus, but Remus is scared. How long can they hide it after Remus shows up to breakfast one day with an all-too-obvious lovebite on his neck?

Snape narrates the Ministry of Magic film, How Not to Be Seen.

You think SPEW was bad? Welcome to a whole other ballpark. When Hermione hears Remus talking about how he can't keep a job, she is determined to help him and tries to form SPHW: The Society for the Protection of Harmless Werewolves. However, she isn't exactly happy with her friend's reactions.

Sequel to Adventures in Hogsmeade and The Firefly Still Glows. Summer holiday has begun after the end of the 5th year, and both Ron Weasley and Draco Malfoy go home to their respective families. A very twisted coming of age story, with some touches of humor. Rated R for violence.

Are you tired of those fics that have the most insane ships EVER? Ships that if they happened would completely change the plot of the canon? Well I am. I, the evil authoress, send the HP characters on a journey, meeting people from other books/TV shows, to break an evil spell causing the maddest pairing ever. Hilarity ensues.

What happens when Harry, Ron and Hermione play the Goblet of Fire video game on PS2? Well, it might go something like this...

Post-OoP. When Lord Voldemort receives a mysterious package, the wizarding world is never the same. Total parody of HP fics, featuring: Angst!Harry, Slash!Lucius, Penitent!Voldie, & everyone's favorite, Mary Sue. Not to mention Evil!Floof.

Harry Potter finally gets a chance to shag Severus Snape. What's the catch?

Harry tries to do housework with magic, but it doesn't exactly work. slight HPDM.

A sad, yet slightly humorous conversation between Remus and Lily a few months before the ill-fated Halloween. It's been done, and it's been done.

We all know how thoroughly BORING Divination is, but do we know what Ron is thinking when his mind starts to wander as he watches a certain classmate...?

It's the story of a very unlikely Hogwarts Christmas for Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy. Featuring a suicidal Draco, his unlikely savior, sexy slash, humorous angst [for real], and love-falling at the North Tower. Altogether, you bloody bet it makes for a rather demented winter holiday at Hogwarts indeed!

Lucius Malfoy had a terrible secret, one that no one could ever find out about. But what happens when his secret is found out? Ginny finds the one person who can make her forget Harry. Draco learns a few valuable life lessons, while having his heart broken, and a new girl threatens to break up the trio. RW/HG, GW/OC.

‘Er…all of Sirius’s possessions are going to be inherited by Vague-Squiggle-That-Could-Begin-With-B Black?’ ‘It would appear so.’ Crossover with Black Books. In the summer just before the events of Harry's sixth year, Dumbledore is having a few problems with the terms of Sirius's will and Remus is sent to a small independent bookshop in Bloomsbury to sort things out. This is normally the point in a crossover summary where the phrase 'hilarity ensues' would be used, but I'm sure you can all make up your own minds as to whether it does or not without me telling you.

Why Hermione really wasn't certain Ron could pass a Muggle driving test.

A slashy send-up/spoof of The Princess Bride featuring Harry Potter and Severus Snape. Guess who's the Bride?

Parody. Liek, ’Mia comes back to hogwars one September and is liek TOTALLY different and has her heart set on a special someone!!!111 How will the others react? Wait and see!!

Ever wanted to read a humor fic that was actually funny? Have you travelled far and wide, through tempest and fog, dune and grove, for the one story that would change your life forever? Look no further, weary wanderer, for the fic of your dreams is finally within reach. Get into the head of a 110-year-old centaur chieftain. He's led a largely sedantary life, bereft of much action and devoid of any fun whatsoever--until now.

Well, Harry and Draco rent a house out for the Christmas Break and things get a little out of hand when melted chocolate and spoons come into play. And a random kid gets more than he wanted to see. Poor kid. I should have given him a name but I didn't wanna so there.

Margaret Tiernan has always attended the Ireland School of Magic. But then two years after the return of Lord Voldemort, she is transferred to Hogwarts to continue her magical education. She meets her hero, Harry Potter, and becomes good friends with Hermione, but she still has no idea why she had to switch school. The answer comes when Harry must go and face Voldemort again... but she much accompany him, and help to save his life, for she has special powers only Dumbledore and Voldemort himself know about...

Inspired by the various Slytherin fanfictions, Serpents and Muggle-Borns is a different perspective type of story. Tracey Davis, raised in the Muggle suburbs by parents who never gave magic a second thought, soon finds herself sorted into the most ambitious house at Hogwarts. Parallel to Sorcerer's Stone.

Harry, Draco, and an adventure featuring several kidnappings, Malfoy's Voice, and less biting than you'd expect under the circumstances. A twisted romance between Harry and Draco has sprung up, but Romance isn’t happy about it and has teamed up with Fate in an attempt to stage a hostile coup. The scenery is animate, Crabbe and Goyle are not, and plot, like the lottery, is something that happens to other people.

A covert operation is launched to retrieve Voldemort from Muggledom. But what do you call an operation that involves the hormonal saviour of wizardkind, his adenoidal comic side-kick, and their thinking hat wannabe bimbette; a harmless (mostly) werewolf, his canine friend and their clumsy associate; a snivelly wizard and a known felon? Surely,

It's quickly approaching NEWT exam time for the Hogwarts seventh years. Harry, Hermione, and Neville are taking Advanced Transfiguration with McGonagall, much to Neville's dismay. During a private practice lesson in the Room of Requirement, Neville casts a high level spell the wrong way, throwing the lives of a Head Girl, a Quidditch Captain, a Prefect, and himself out of order.

Harry finally meets his "match", a girl named Riley Malone who steals Harry's heart like a snitch. Read on throughout their romance filled days at Hogwarts along with the humor cracks from the adorable vision of redness, Ron!

Hermione is spending the summer at the Burrow with Ron. And she has a little extra credit assignment from Snape... Features a corned beef eating!Ron and pure R/Hr fluff.

Arthur receives some unexpected help while trying to get Molly to unwind after Ginny's wedding. Arthur/Molly fluff.

It's the week before Christmas, and festive fever has Hogwarts in the grip of a snogging epidemic. After another night prowling the corridors and seeing things they really didn't want to see, Remus and James hatch a plan to rectify the situation.

"Diggory got the Snitch. Wanted a rematch." ``"Wood's still in the showers. We think he's trying to drown himself." WAS Oliver really trying to drown himself? Oliver/Cedric slash! PWP, showersex! Takes place during PoA, after the Hufflepugg-Gryffindor Quidditch match. Brought to you by Myndacho and RainShadow.

At the age of twenty-nine, Hermione Granger works as a bounty hunter, for the slimy Draco Malfoy. Her new assignment was to capture the uncapturable Ron Weasley, a notorious womanizer, accused murderer and a man from Hermione’s past.

What happens when Harry Potter and Co. are locked in a room with only the Baudelaires and books for company?

It's only called 'stealing' if you don't plan on returning it...````Remus borrows Sirius' motorbike for a wee romp in the night, only to get a pinch more than he bargained for.

It's nearing Christmas at Hogwarts, but the year has been a little less than warm and toasty for the Hogwarts staff as they gather in the staff room for tea or, in some cases, a milkshake. Facing the dangers of Christmas--mistletoes and old classic Christmas tunes--they manage to confuse themselves with a horrific combination of irritability, Christmas spirit, and somber exhaustion.

Two madwomen. One fandom. No mercy.````That's right, this is a challenge. The worst.challenge.ever. Who will survive ``the orgy of sex, drugs and bad fantasy authors? Can Hermione get her groove back? ``Why is Ron reading Noam Chomsky? Will Harry ever get over the image of Aunt Petunia ``as a gangsta? Is it true that nobody likes, nobody likes, nobody likes a bogan? ``````What the hell is a bogan, anyway?````Avert your eyes, gentle reader. Hard-core reader, come on down! The price, as ``they say, is indeed right. It's rock bottom, as is the literary career of the ``author, who now needs to go have a good lie down.

A weary Professor R.J. Lupin boards the Hogwarts Express for the first time in nearly fifteen years. Faking sleep is the perfect way to eavesdrop, and avoid unwanted questions.

Harry eats too much of a mystery dish at dinner. Mayhem insues. This fic includes: pinning the cast of Harry Potter and JKR to a crazed fan's wall, a daring rescue and hilarious circumstances, foriegn exchange students, Ron's cousin, the Harry Potter book collection, baboons on flying goats (don't ask), Darth Vader's stunt double, the Monkees, the Beatles, exploding Ron, and a french fry up someone's nose. Rated PG because there's nothing worse than that in it, but so wierd that no one really ought to read it.

Hair care products, manicures, shrieks of fear and weight-watching: all in a day of the life of Draco Malfoy. Written script-syle. Follow Draco from wake-up to bedtime, as he swaggers, screams, and admires his reflection through a day at school.

There has been a powerful spell cast on Hogwarts and the rest of the wizarding world, and not even Dumbledore can fix it.````The spell makes people burst into song and be all smiley all the time.````Sure, it sounds good but Harry is neglecting Ron and Hermione, because he'd rather spend time with Cho. ````Draco, Hermione and Ron think they know who's behind it and go wandering off to find "the person".````Will the spell be broken? Will be able to find, 'The person?'

Step right up ladies and gents and hear the thrilling tale of the worst day of my entire life! Could things possibly get worse? But of course, this is ME we're talking about! As if things weren't enough, I have the honor and horror of officially anouncing that I will have to spend an entire year with none other than the one, the only.... Draco Malfoy!

This is Monsters Inc, HP style! Draco is Randall, Harry is Sulley, Ron is Mike, and Hermione is Boo! Also featuring various cameo appearances! Just look on in!

Unapologetic silliness featuring IC-Nanny!Snape and Vernon Dursley II. A result of an unfortunate drabbling accident that resulted in Dudley Dursley being permitted to breed.

Lucius Malfoy is turning 19, and trying to decide how best to woo the girl of his dreams. Lucius/Narcissa.

The sign on the door read ‘Midnight Opening for sales of the new Muggle book, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Read the fifth book in the series showing how Muggles see us.’ Judging by the length of the queue, which snaked a long way down Diagon Alley, a lot of wizards did want to read it, and as soon as they could. Eavesdrop on the discussion in Diagon Alley as witches and wizards wait to see how they\\\'re portrayed in Order of the Phoenix.

A short story in which Ron and Harry (mostly Harry) confront mood-swing!Hermione.

Christmas time at Hogwarts is always full of surprises, especially when the Marauders decide to go caroling. Throw in James' newest plan to win over Lily before their last year ends, Sirius' inability to sing on key, and see what happens.

It's October 31, 1986 and the Dursleys are determined to provide a nice, normal Halloween for their Duddykins. Of course, it's also the anniversary of the Potters' deaths...

Harry gets sick and only one person ``can make it better. Fluff, H/D.

Voldemort seeks immortality, but Death comes for everyone. Crossover with Terry Pratchett's Discworld.

Another ball is approaching (what a surprise!!) and this time it\'s to take place at Halloween. The twins are up to no good, Ron and Ginny are at war, Hermione is confused and Harry vanishes. So, without further ado, here is the set of e-mails between the group leading up to this \

Not all first kisses actually happen. Some are avoided at all costs. Because some are very rude. Takes place in the same universe as The Seduction of Severus Snape.

Hermione goes crazy and starts a new religion with some pretty interesting requirements.

Three inexperienced and seemingly random Muggle girls begin their quest to become the most powerful witches in the world and somehow manage to do so with...uh, unanticipated insanity.

There's one word for it and that's scary. Never attempt to write a story when you're not fully sober, and this poor fellow has.

The story of Lily and James' 7th year. Lily, her friends, and the Maruaders find love, feel pain, and most of all rely on their friends.

The night before Ron leaves for Hogwarts, Ginny realises how much she's going to miss her favourite brother.

It's the mouth, really. Draco knows sex when he sees it. [H/D]

Anyone wants to play Truth or Dare? You think that the game isn't really very harmful. But this was what happened when Sirius got creative in a Dare.

A moment in time at the Yule Ball. George Weasley and Hermione Granger pause to discuss their dates, their friends, and their unusual lives. (Ge/Hr)

Ginny throws Harry over for, of all people, Millicent Bulstrode. Harry doesn't mind; he likes Bulstrode, but he doesn't know how to break it to the kids. Widower Draco Malfoy runs The Hogsman, a sort of gentleman's club for Hogwarts Alumni of the male variety and here, they run into each other once more.

Yep! That's right! Harry, Ron, Teachers, Malfoy, Hedwig... ok, the ones with teeth. Why? I just got braces today and it is NOT FUN! Oh well...````Note: I wrote this in June.

Ever wondered about some of the more amusing uses of floo powder?

Harry Potter and Severus Snape hate each other. Or at least, that's what the rest of the world believes. Then again, the world is usually wrong in matters concerning the Boy Who Lived.

Enter Chorus````Chorus. See herein the tale``Of sisters ambitious and bold:``Twain hearts bound together as one``Through star-cross’d circumstance``And fate-twisted trials of old.````Evil that would destroy the world,``They’d stand tall to face it down.``Foolish in their confidence their trials would them drown’d.``But hope yet lives and fate they may defy,``If walls built throughout the years can only be torn down.````Acquaintances must be held close``Knit tightly soul to soul;``Or darkness may dim``The sun-lit sky``From wishing gone awry.````Hark, hark, and watch as the tale unfolds.

Hermione's been acting a little unusual lately (sitting next to Goyle???) so it's up to Harry and Ron to stop Draco from stealing top-secret inventions of the Goo Squad and save Millicent Bulstrode from Old Hob, if Harry can get out of a "tight" spot in time.... Featuring Petrified!Hermione, Pyro!Voldemort, Squib!Lucius, and ExceptionallyStupid! Harry and Ron.

SLASH! PARODY! Vampire!Draco is on the prowl. But will his whooping cough prevent him from seducing The Boy Who Lived?

Set in GoF, this story is a light-hearted introspection by Sirius as he meets the trio in the cave above Hogsmeade. Involves discussion on chicken, rats, Madam Rosmerta, chicken, animagi, snogging, and I did mention chicken, didn't I?

James decides to hold a party. But Peter sees dead people, Remus has a revelation, Sirius is easily distracted, and Lily seems to speak only in questions. What will their reaction be to the announcement he's about to make?

First, it was just an untimely Halloween Ball during Voldemort's rise to power. Then, Malfoy starts to act funny (i.e., asking Hermione for a date, wanting to be part of the D.A., and hanging around too much with Harry Potter), and everyone just marvels at how much the great Harry Potter could take from him. ``Everyone wonders what has happened to Malfoy. Is he even the real Malfoy? Or is he someone from Gryffindor, disguised as Malfoy, and has a long time crush on Hermione? Possibilities are endless.

Gift to krazi little aus. James survived that tragic night and is very overprotective of his only son. Not to mention obsessive, compulsive, and extremely paranoid as well. Poor Harry.

This story plays the year after Harry left Hogwarts. Justyne Jaracas, a former student returns to Hogwarts to fill the position of Professor Vector in Ancient Runes. After a strange encounter at night with Severus Snape she decides to play a trick on him...

When Ginevra Weasley was assigned as the assistant to the Head of International Cooperation, she never imagined that she would be working for the same man whom she loved harassing every morning at a small cafe. Chronicling her life through means of another diary, this time a trustworthy one, Ginny has an interesting life, filled with biscotti-throwing, twitching, meddling mothers, and all-around craziness. Read her crazy, inner thoughts and enter a world where everything is completely random and ‘Spiffy Cool’ needs a patent.

Ron explains why it’s okay for him if ever Harry and Ginny do get together.

It's a beautiful February day, and Hermione is heading to Hogsmeade! Unfortunately, she forgets that it's February, and dresses far too lightly for the frigid weather. Things are said and revelations are made, and one Hermione Granger discovers how it feels to be truly warm.