3,221 - 3,240 of 5,429 Stories

There's one word for it and that's scary. Never attempt to write a story when you're not fully sober, and this poor fellow has.

It's the mouth, really. Draco knows sex when he sees it. [H/D]

The night before Ron leaves for Hogwarts, Ginny realises how much she's going to miss her favourite brother.

Anyone wants to play Truth or Dare? You think that the game isn't really very harmful. But this was what happened when Sirius got creative in a Dare.

A moment in time at the Yule Ball. George Weasley and Hermione Granger pause to discuss their dates, their friends, and their unusual lives. (Ge/Hr)

Ginny throws Harry over for, of all people, Millicent Bulstrode. Harry doesn't mind; he likes Bulstrode, but he doesn't know how to break it to the kids. Widower Draco Malfoy runs The Hogsman, a sort of gentleman's club for Hogwarts Alumni of the male variety and here, they run into each other once more.

Harry Potter and Severus Snape hate each other. Or at least, that's what the rest of the world believes. Then again, the world is usually wrong in matters concerning the Boy Who Lived.

Enter Chorus````Chorus. See herein the tale``Of sisters ambitious and bold:``Twain hearts bound together as one``Through star-cross’d circumstance``And fate-twisted trials of old.````Evil that would destroy the world,``They’d stand tall to face it down.``Foolish in their confidence their trials would them drown’d.``But hope yet lives and fate they may defy,``If walls built throughout the years can only be torn down.````Acquaintances must be held close``Knit tightly soul to soul;``Or darkness may dim``The sun-lit sky``From wishing gone awry.````Hark, hark, and watch as the tale unfolds.

Hermione's been acting a little unusual lately (sitting next to Goyle???) so it's up to Harry and Ron to stop Draco from stealing top-secret inventions of the Goo Squad and save Millicent Bulstrode from Old Hob, if Harry can get out of a "tight" spot in time.... Featuring Petrified!Hermione, Pyro!Voldemort, Squib!Lucius, and ExceptionallyStupid! Harry and Ron.

Yep! That's right! Harry, Ron, Teachers, Malfoy, Hedwig... ok, the ones with teeth. Why? I just got braces today and it is NOT FUN! Oh well...````Note: I wrote this in June.

Ever wondered about some of the more amusing uses of floo powder?

Set in GoF, this story is a light-hearted introspection by Sirius as he meets the trio in the cave above Hogsmeade. Involves discussion on chicken, rats, Madam Rosmerta, chicken, animagi, snogging, and I did mention chicken, didn't I?

SLASH! PARODY! Vampire!Draco is on the prowl. But will his whooping cough prevent him from seducing The Boy Who Lived?

James decides to hold a party. But Peter sees dead people, Remus has a revelation, Sirius is easily distracted, and Lily seems to speak only in questions. What will their reaction be to the announcement he's about to make?

Gift to krazi little aus. James survived that tragic night and is very overprotective of his only son. Not to mention obsessive, compulsive, and extremely paranoid as well. Poor Harry.

First, it was just an untimely Halloween Ball during Voldemort's rise to power. Then, Malfoy starts to act funny (i.e., asking Hermione for a date, wanting to be part of the D.A., and hanging around too much with Harry Potter), and everyone just marvels at how much the great Harry Potter could take from him. ``Everyone wonders what has happened to Malfoy. Is he even the real Malfoy? Or is he someone from Gryffindor, disguised as Malfoy, and has a long time crush on Hermione? Possibilities are endless.

This story plays the year after Harry left Hogwarts. Justyne Jaracas, a former student returns to Hogwarts to fill the position of Professor Vector in Ancient Runes. After a strange encounter at night with Severus Snape she decides to play a trick on him...

When Ginevra Weasley was assigned as the assistant to the Head of International Cooperation, she never imagined that she would be working for the same man whom she loved harassing every morning at a small cafe. Chronicling her life through means of another diary, this time a trustworthy one, Ginny has an interesting life, filled with biscotti-throwing, twitching, meddling mothers, and all-around craziness. Read her crazy, inner thoughts and enter a world where everything is completely random and ‘Spiffy Cool’ needs a patent.

Ron explains why it’s okay for him if ever Harry and Ginny do get together.

Second-years are not allowed to visit Hogsmeade ... so what was Dennis Creevey doing at the D.A. meeting in the Hog’s Head? And however will he explain himself to Professor McGonagall without betraying the D.A.?

Ginny is sitting in the library doing some homework when she is passed a note from Draco. Warning - gets a little silly!!

Florean Fortescue has his annual Ice Cream Eating Contest. Will the champions for six years running win? Or will a newcomer oust them from their title and take the Golden Cup and the 1971 Ice Cream Eating Champ title?

Ever wonder what would happen when Harry, Ron, and Hermione decide to go to the movies? Crossover between HP, LOTR, and Star Wars. Beware of drugs, dredlocks, and pictures of Oliver Wood dressed in a tiger suit. Plus, a heated game of Mine's Longer! These and other various odd things ensue whilst reading this not-so-classic adventure of love, lust, and all-around really bad things!

It's a beautiful February day, and Hermione is heading to Hogsmeade! Unfortunately, she forgets that it's February, and dresses far too lightly for the frigid weather. Things are said and revelations are made, and one Hermione Granger discovers how it feels to be truly warm.

When Harry Potter went to the Scar convention he was in for a big surprise. Meet a few friends along the way and see if you can spot your scar...

Ginny and Luna start a happy business selling quills that fight each other, but soon the business turns into a twisted power play of theivery and bribery...

James Potter has one chance with Lily Evans. But first, he must make a sacrifice. Can he do it?

Ever wondered how Earth was created? Well, this fic can't help you there, but it is a comedy, so lighten your sense of reality with a one-shot scene of the initiation of the fourth and final member of Marauders Incorporated: "that weird quiet kid."

A key with no lock. A lock without a key. A feud through the ages, fueled by mutual hatred and animosity. A boy named Octavius, a girl named Guenivere, a boy named Draco, and a girl named Ginevra. A legend, a legacy, and a curse. The true story behind one of the most legendary pureblood rivalries of all time.

Future Hogwarts Founders Rowena and Helga have decided to test the assumption that cats always land on their feet; however, they have great difficulty in getting one of their human test subjects to cooperate.

Cool--it's what the new Brooms instructor has, and what Minerva McGonagall is quickly losing. In her first year as Deputy Headmistress, Professor McGonagall has more than she ever dreamed of to deal with.

Hermione discovers a certain book and decides it's her duty to fight the patriarchy and expose 'the problem that has no name' to witches everywhere. Harry decides that Hermione has gone insane. Ron agrees.

The my newest works from Chicago. Both parodies, one more of a songfic, one funny and truthful. Umbridge and Fudge sing about what to do with Dumbledore. Ron wonders if he'll ever measure up to those around him.

An owl post from James to... well, to whom it may concern... regarding the unfortunate result of a series of pranks. Revenge is sweet.

Harry goes to visit Ron at the Burrow. In his time at the house, Harry finds letters stashed in various places in the house that reveal Ron's true feelings for Hermione. Will Harry be violently sick? Will he be traumatised for the rest of his life? Read this and see...

Sequel to Chocolate Butterbeer. Dean finds Harry and Draco snogging by the one-eyed witch, and attempts to "save" Harry. Harry thinks Dean is trying to steal Draco, and hilarity ensues...

A narration of how Tonks nearly failed her Auror Stealth and Tracking test.

Marauder-time, fourth year: Black and Snape are staying at Hogwarts over Christmas. Home alone. Paranoia ensues. Featuring: James Potter and Lucius Malfoy. And what's the square root of 327 anyhow?

During fifth year, Sirius Black keeps a journal in which he chatters about House-Elf literacy, writes about his friends, and overcomes apostrophe issues.

MWPP decide to make an audio diary of their lives at Hogwarts!

Draco Malfoy has many of life's tough little problems, but the one which bothers him most (for some strange reason), is that stupid Potter always wins at Quidditch. So he tries a secret practice, and it ends up that Ginny Weasley teaches him a few things.

One evening while out on the Quidditch field, Ron and Harry stumble into the territory of girls. Harry Potter may be the Boy Who Lived, but he definitely has room to grow in the romance department. After asking Ron what it\'s like to kiss a girl you really like Ron gives Harry a very unlikely answer. \

When Madam Hooch gets a new job as Head Coach of the Tornadoes, they must find a new Quidditch teacher, and everybody's favorite magical nanny gets the job, to the horror of the Quidditch team.

It is a late night at the library, and all is not well for Draco Malfoy and the Potions homework that is due in a few hours. Of course, it all goes downhill from there.

Draco Malfoy has a Byronic soul? And just who is his muse?

Voldemort, newly restored to his body, decides to move in to Riddle Manor, and what better thing to do than have a Death Eater housewarming party? Drunkenness and karaoke follow shortly.

Twenty-five year old Ginny Weasley, top wizarding lawyer, is roped into doing a debate for the Gryffindor Old Girls debating squad by Hermione Granger. Feeling resigned to losing a night on an important case, she goes along and gets more than she bargained for in more ways than one. Features G/H, G/D and R/Hr.

Draco needs a date. Ginny makes a bet. Add one bottle of Sickleberry Rum (‘your inhibitions gone in six sips, guaranteed!’) and shake well for best results.

Picture only this... Lockhart serenading Snape to the tune of "Rubber Ducky" in his birthday suit. Scared yet?

This is Hermione's Diary. Keep that in mind while reading, it is her diary... meaning nobody will read it and she does not outwardly express these feelings or thoughts!!! So I guess you'd say it's a bit OOC...?

Till this day, Ron seems to have a knack for chocolate chip cookies. Why is this? Read this one-shot fanfic to find out. Introducing SarcasticAnnoyed!Ron and slightly Pervert!Harry (Ron/Hermione)

What do the under-used characters do when they are not sitting at the high table, handing out homework, or catching students involved in mind-boggling carnal acts? Here is their answer to that question.

What happens when she sees him? ``Try to find out who he is! RS/PF. NT/??

The thing to know about Harry was that he was a bit slow, as such things went. [Harry/Luna]

“Fred Weasley!” his mother had been known to shout. “What would it take for you to show just an ounce of sensitivity?” What would it take? Dolores Umbridge, that’s what. Set during Order of the Phoenix, featuring Fred and Angelina.

In Hijja's PEEVED, we saw how Peeves worked as an unconscious lesbian-cupid and brought two young women together. This is what happened afterwards... and Peeves may well have wished he'd left well enough alone.

Harry, Ron, and Draco head out to the Hog's Head for a humble drink between friends... but without Hermione's permission... What happens when Harry and Ron are all-out drunk, full to the brim with alcohol, and Draco has to get them back to Hogwarts?``PG for mushy hangovers.

AU. Due to the Burrow collapsing, the whole Weasley family are temporarily living at Hogwarts. How does Hogwarts cope in the sticky hands of the two-year-old Weasley twins?

This fic is for all of those hopeless romantics out there. James is going to propose to Lily, but what's stopping him?

Voldemort was just defeated! Can we say party? Ginny certainly can when in the wee hours of the night she whips out a bottle of truth serum... what will happen next?

What happens when MTV decides to prank the wizarding world for their game show Boiling Points?

Do not read if you ar opposed to sex with object/squirrels, Uncle Vernon's sex life, or naked old men. Otherwise, enjoy!

Ever wondered what would happen if certain characters in Harry Potter were forced to substitute the position of an advice columnist? No? Well, now it's happened anyway. Characters featured include (but not limited to) Draco (this chapter), Fleur, Harry and Snape! Even submit your questions to any of the characters; they may or may not reply. Hey, you never know.

Why does Petunia REALLY hate Lily? Could it be due to plans going amiss? And why is Severus involved? Can James dance? A One shot fun piece.

All incoming seventh years are sent to Hogwarts in July to complete their assignments, which will be the most difficult situation for each of them! Includes blue toilet water, tea parties, Hogwarts invasion, denied promotion, Voldemort in a hula outfit, evil three year olds, terrible grades, spiders, and Timothy Facade.

Hermione, home on summer holiday, explores the internet and stumbles upon a fan fiction site.

James and Sirius both have one and Remus doesn't see why he shouldn't have one too! A 7th year Marauders tale of face fungus and revenge!

Mary-Sue Potter has come to Hogwarts, inspiring questions: Who is she? What's her secret? And why doesn't she have violet eyes? (Parody)

This is a basic Yule Ball fic featuring a certain Slytherin couple. Only one Gryffindor was harmed in the making of this fanfic.

"She turned me into a newt! I got better..."

The Hogwarts ghosts: Nearly-Headless Nick, the Bloody Baron, the Grey Lady, the Fat Friar, Moaning Myrtle, Peeves... and Sirius Black?!

Ron Weasley - redhead, Gryffindor and all-round good egg. Read about his obsession for sweet Hermione Granger, and how she keeps on dropping (not so) subtle hints...which Ron completely misinterprets!

In which Sirius has a problem and Remus tries to help.

Welcome back to Celebrity Jeopardy...

Mikaia Ashley, a Massachusetts girl with an apparent denim obsession, doesn't want to go to Hogwarts. She's worked hard for her place at the top of her class at Salem Institute, and isn't interested in having to work her way to the top at a new school. However, with You-Know-Who rising again, her mother feels that Hogwarts is the safest place for her. So, Mikaia packs her trunk, takes her mirror--which happens to be her best friend--and goes to Britain, quite sure that she won't enjoy it. Of course, with Snape picking her up things can only get better!

Hagrid's magic "umbrella" from the first book has a few things to say to his enslaver!

Who's with whom? A fic about what happens if you belong to every SHIP (which I don't).

When can you tell when a relationship isn't working out? When can you tell when the love is gone? Find out as Percy Weasley dumps his Pet Rock!

It\'s Hermione Granger\'s turn to take up the quill and to write her own confession. There are some things you certainly did not know about Hogwarts\' bushy-haired prodigy.

It's Christmas at Hogwarts, and some of the students can't help singing. Five Gryffindors and a couple of Slytherins get mixed up in Bohemian Rhapsody whilst figuring out their own problems.

Hermione and Ron are engaged and in love. Hermione decides, at dinnertime, to ask Ron about having a baby. Ron concedes, of course. Nine months later... Hermione's screaming her head off in St. Mungo's while awaiting the arrival of their new addition.

Scene: the Black family home. Harry is sitting at the kitchen table perusing a copy of the Daily Prophet, scratching Crookshanks between the ears whilst he stands on top of the table enjoying a saucer of milk.``The front-page headline of the Daily Prophet reads: There is no news to report. There will be no news to Report tomorrow either. There will be no news to report until the publication of book six. thank you for keeping your subscription current with us anyway.``Harry (muttering quietly to himself while he sips his tea): No news is good news. (He turns the page) I wonder what the personal ads will say. Oh, here’s one from Fred and George.

James Potter knew he was brilliant. Now, if only he could convince a certain other...

Wormtail and Padfoot babysit an infant Harry.

Always the stickler for logic, Lily Evans' has finally been befuddled with something she can't solve or cure.

Join Ginny Weasley for the later part of her summer before her fifth year. She is shockingly (at least, to her) made a Prefect, is forced to be one of the two guests of honor at a party, and then, to top it all off, has a run-in with a certain messy-haired, green-eyed rising sixth year in the middle of the night that may just signal the beginning of the rest of her life. A one-shot look into the lives of our favorite characters in the summer before sixth year, told through our favorite Weasley daughter's bright eyes. H/G, R/H

Ginny thinks after the Quidditch Final of Harry, Michael, Quidditch and the wonders of being a Gryffindor Girl!

For about one line, Ms. Rowling mentions the top-secret Department of Mysteries. The story is thus: the Backsliders, an extremely secret and powerful team of the most powerful witches and wizards on the planet, have been brought together once again, and maybe for the last time. Be forewarned: the characters are brand new--though, of course, HP and the gang are at the center. It's comedy, drama, romance, suspence and malaria all rolled up into a big sticky taco!

Have you ever wondered what happened after Harry left McGonagall and Umbridge alone, after his career councelling session? Here is my idea of what might have happened.

Sirius, James, and Peter find out Remus's secret...just NOT the one they are going for. You see, Remus has this strange new obsession with...Quakers.

After Karkaroff's disappearance students from Durmstrang Institute "flee" to Hogwarts, as well as students from other magical schools seeking Dumbledore's protection. A band of young Death Eaters start up, led by one of our favorite characters. On an assignment that involves the killing of specific mudbloods and generally spreading terror, Draco meets an unlikely enemy. What if your best friend was a Death Eater and you didn't know it? After a love hate relationship, he realizes he will have to sacrifice his best and only friend, for the greater good. Can he do it?

Harry is finally allowing Seamus to set him up on a date. But first, they have to get Ron and Hermione together, survive class, find out if Draco and Blaise are together, convince their friends that they are NOT a couple, and survive an all-out prank war between two factions of Hogwarts. Eventual slash, HP/DM, SF/BZ.

Harry and Ron have always been a little different. In their seventh year, they want a shot at being normal. And what better way to be normal than to form a rock band? The only problem is that they need a drummer. When putting up fliers around the school, Malfoy trickery abounds and Harry and Ron end up in an unexpected and undesirable circumstance: they are now in a rock band with Malfoy - of their own choice. Will they stay together? Will Ron and Harry strangle Malfoy with his own drumsticks? Will they stick Malfoy's drumsticks where the sun don't shine?

The situation is well-known to all women. None of us likes it, but nobody avoids it. Nor does Ginny. But a special incident makes her see the fun of it.

Ride shotgun with the Ministry of Magic's finest, as they hunt Dark Wizards, frame innocent Muggles, and drink tea with Voldemort. Hosted by Sheriff John Bunnell.

Harry ain't the only student in Hogwarts y'know! And in the spirit of that comes "Random Hogwarts Student: Thomas Edward Greenwood"!````This story is the chronicles of Thom Greenwood's fifth year in Hogwarts which takes place during the book "Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince". With teenage problems, angst and occasional humor this is an accurate portayal of a student in Hogwarts!

A surprise party for Harry leads to an interesting turn of events between Draco and Ginny, and they all happen to take place in a musty old janitor's closet. (Slightly alternate universe, I suppose.)

The day is hot, and so is Harry. H/D slash.

The Ministry of Magic itself is attacked by Lord Voldemort's minions and the Senior Undersecretary to the Minister finds herself saved by the last person she expected. No ships, no slash.

It's Draco Malfoy's ten year reunion. He's looking forward to much gloating, and showing off. Only, when he gets there, he's in for a big surprise.