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This is a parody of the more outrageous hurt/comfort Harry/Severus slash fics.

Ginny Weasley never understood why they would send her to help him. After all, she wasn't one of his best friends, nor a person he looked up to like Remus Lupin. So why her? But it was the desperate look in her mother's eyes that had really convinced Ginny to do it. Being desperate was not a thing of her mother, and it had startled Ginny to see those tears in her eyes.

A funeral -- whose?

Fifty years into the future, Harry and Draco are about to find out that 'growing old together' sounds a lot more romantic than it actually is.

There's nothing like maternal advice when it comes to love... because a mother simply knows everything. Doesn't she?

Harry & Draco are late for potions! What have they been doing to be so late? [Slash] [Ooh, la, la, indeed...]

Hermione is given a choice...a very hard one at that. Will she choose Harry, the boy she's been in love with for a year? Or will she select Draco, the sexy blond Slytherin who's suddenly stolen a little piece of her heart?

COMPLETE!!! Harry's mind has been erased. When he regains his senses, he finds that things are different and he doesn't quite understand why....

"I always assumed that if some strange shift in reality caused me to come close to kissing Harry, it would be meaningless, accidental, or maybe even both. Never had the thought that it would be voluntary, and more importantly, desired, ever crossed my mind..."

Ron doesn't realize how much Harry and Hermione care about him, until a Quidditch accident lands him in the hospital wing.

Harry stood, waiting for her. She never came. All the other people came, but not her. Where did she go? Was she doing it on purpose? Was something wrong? Why wasn't she there? After many moments without a sign of her, he went back to his dormitory -and the rest was blank. This was the dream every night for the past two years.

Call her stupid for running. It was three o’clock in the morning and she was running down the stone stairs of their apartment building, fleeing from his eyes but feeling like an idiot, because it was impossible to run from an enticing green gaze. It followed her, haunted her. Hermione not supposed to fall in love with her best friend, but she did. She could run hard and fast, but she did not think she would ever escape it.

Snap.

What if Lucius Malfoy had adopted Harry Potter? COMPLETE

Ginny must deal with a Harry Potter who may, or may not, have seen the light. Sequel to "Men Love With Their Eyes."

After a devastating attack, Harry and friends try to lead a normal life; only, it's not so easy--especially when the Dark Lord will try everything in his power to infiltrate Hogwarts...even if it calls for the betrayal of one of their own. Plot includes but is not limited to: ghosts, madness, candle wax and snogging, a heavily padded and pouting professor, wall hangings with vile language, Sarsaparilla the Smelly.

Ron discovers Harry and Hermione like each other. Will they ever tell the other their true feelings? (Short, but finished.. for now)`` ``My first fic... review, but please be kind.

Stephen Moon has always been one of the crowd at Hogwarts. He lurks behind the scenes and enjoys the obscurity of his life. Then he unwittingly makes a oath, which throws him into prominence in the Second Voldemort War.

Five girls wonder whether their boyfriends have forgotten a certain date; five boys have not. Harry/Luna, Ron/Hermione, Neville/Ginny, Dean/Parvati, Seamus/Lavender.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione are in their final year at Hogwarts. One night Harry's scar begins to hurt and he finds comfort in the arms of Hermione. But when the Ministry calls on him for help will Harry be there to answer it?

Harry and Cho slip off together and learn a tough lesson about too much, too soon. Features teenage angst, messy relationships, male-bonding and medieval Hogwarts' traditions.

Harry stopped believing in good and evil the week his parents, Sirius and Regulus all came back from the dead.

A series of vignettes involving Harry and Draco at Hogwarts.

Harry has fallen in love with Draco, but he soon realises that in order for their relationship to work, he will have to make sacrifices. Sacrifices that could help Voldemort claim some of his most loyal Death Eaters from Azkaban. Will his love be worth it?

After defeating Voldemort and taking some well-deserved time off the trio and their friends return to Hogwarts for their seventh and last year. Everything is as it has always been - and everything has changed forever, irrevocably. Relationships and identities are tested, reassessed and redefined as Harry and his companions face the dawn of a new era.

When a prank messes up Ron's life in their sixth year,``Harry and Hermione join forces to get revenge. Can they keep their``minds on the task at hand, or will unsaid things get in the way? ("R"``rating put on overall fic for language and sexual situations.)

It's Valentine's day and different people at Hogwarts celebrate in different ways. One thing they all have in common? Kissing.

Keep it secret, keep it safe... is basically the motto of this Harry/Draco vignette. Angsty romance galore!

In actuality, Harry was the one holding Malfoy’s hand, which was rather disturbing.

"Five years ago the snow fell, just as it falls tonight: cold, relentless, and uncaring. Every so often the wind unleashes a frustrated howl and I shiver, huddling closer to the smoking, inadequate fire I’ve lit in our hideout deep within the Forbidden Forest. As shelters go, it’s not much, just a little crack in a hillside that’s unworthy of being called a cave. But it keeps out the worst of the weather and hides us from our enemies." After Harry Potter's death, Hermione Granger works to bring down the Dark Lord and discovers love, hate, trust, betrayal - and magic at its most impenetrable. Completion of the storyline from Led Away Into Captivity To Suffer Shame and A New Beginning, but can be read on its own.

A fluffy, sappy collection of short H/D stuff. Includes “Tyler Luke Malfoy Potter,” in which Harry wants a son and Draco does a crossword; “Ode du Draco,” in which Draco finds himself seductive; and more. Chock-full of sap and sexual innuendos. Proceed with extreme caution.

Slash, fifth year. Harry has already battled with Voldemort, but why did Tom Riddle suddenly appear in the Forbidden Forest? And what purpose does Harry's dreams hold for him and the future of Hogwarts? Why doesn't Tom know anything that has happened to him? Voldemort is still around? Armed with dangerous half-truths and unrevealed agendas, Harry sets off to find the truth - with some interesting characters as well - and to finally defeat Voldemort once and for all...

Voldemort is defeated and Harry and Draco have become reluctant friends. 'His Girl' features a lovesick Harry, a calm and collected Ron, a Hermione that drools over anything male and Slytherin, and a very sexually frustrated Ginny Weasley. If you throw in an after Quidditch party, an illicit love potion, and a couple of threesomes, you have a Hogwarts like you've never seen before! Book six is disregarded.

After fifth year Harry loses his memories and is found by Charlie Weasley. Why doesn't he return Harry to the Burrow or Hogwarts?

Silence is deafening, isn't it? Especially with Snape breathing down your neck.

Sequel to back to being. Two months after their night together, Harry and Hermione deal with the consequences of their actions.

Evil, evil, evil Draco. Paragon-who's-saving-the-world Ginny, sticking tiresomely to goody-goody Harry. And only one hotel room. They're SO tired from their search for King Arthur's sword in Avalon...but then again, maybe not as tired as they thought. But she thoroughly despises him. Doesn't she? Oh, and various gods, goddesses, and immortal beings begin to meddle in the affairs of mortals. It's Halloween night, when the veil between the worlds grows thin... Set in Irina's Pendragon universe.

A one shot fluffy ficlet about Hermione's mental escapade during a Potions class which brings some awkward ``results. Surprise revelations and snogging coming though!

As her sixteenth birthday approaches, Hermione begins to wonder if a small wish of hers will ever come true: To be kissed before she turns sixteen. Hormones are raging, with Ron still as jealous as ever, Harry beginning to notice Ginny in a new light and hating the fact she’s taken, and Luna seeming even dreamier than usual when she’s around Ron and … Neville? Anxiety tops it all with Voldemort being extremely quiet, a new and rather unusual DADA professor with a progressive secret, and a Christmas return of one Viktor Krum. (R/Hr, H/G).

What if one day you woke up and nothing was right yet everything was so familiar? What if you didn’t even know yourself? Who you had been, who you are, and who you were supposed to be? What if the one person that could help you was the unlikeliest of them all... (mild H/D)

After the release of Book Five, many fanwriters have released Sixth Year stories, such as this one. This story follows what I feel is canon. Harry is once again at the Dursleys', as usual, and a few changes in the government occur. The year turns to be better than the last, but again, another upsetting event causes a total turnaround, adding weight to Harry's already burdened shoulders. Main focus is Harry, other main characters are: Severus (list subject to change)

Time. What if time could be twisted to suit someone's purpose? What if it were possible to go forward to another's time? And if that were done, what kind of consequences would such an action have? Would the consequences be damaging – or, perhaps, would this one action start a chain reaction that would end up saving something greater? This is a story that takes place in several time periods, spanning several lives, that attempts to answer that very question. *Slash Severus/OMC and Harry/Boy!Blaise*

It is Harry Potter's graduation party and one of the most raucous events that Hogwarts has ever seen. What adds to the chaos is a 'harmless' game of Truth or Dare, where secrets are revealed and very strange (to say the least), dares are given. From this, Harry not only earns the title of the Boy-Who-Lived, but of the Next Marauder.

AU: Harry is on his way to Hogwarts... Things are about to get interesting... WARNING: Will contian SLASH in later chapters

A father and son are torn from each other because of forces they have no control over. To protect his wife and son from Voldemort and his Death Eaters, Severus Snape had to hide the fact that he was married and had a child. Now that his wife has been killed by the most feared and powerful wizard in modern times, he's had to go to even greater lengths to protect his child. Will his son ever know who his father is?

War is coming to Wizarding Britain. What are the concequences of preserving innocence too long? The winds of change are here and Harry with the Trio (and a few others as well) have to come to terms with their future fate, and the future of the wizarding world. What they must do to preserve the innocence they love might just break them in the end. Many Ships, H/G R/Hr, N/L Prophecies and new tricks up the sleeve.

A 2500-word long excuse to have Harry and Draco snog in a squashy armchair. Draco has always been bad at reading others' emotions. This creates a problem. Pure slash, baby.

It's Christmas holiday in fifth year and Dumbledore wants all the students who stayed for the break to be close together because of the newly risen threat; he sends all the remaining students to live in the Slytherin dorm for the time being. Now, the Gryffindor Trio must coexist with Draco Malfoy for an entire holiday! Not only that, but something strange has affected Draco. Can Harry find out what happened over the summer to change him so much? And can Ron resist the urge to kill Draco? We'll see... (Draco/Harry slash)

Hermione has been acting a little weird lately... Running around school, shagging ALL the Quidditch players! But what happens when she gets a...disease? How does Malfoy factor in to all of this? What's a boy (who lived) to do?

Lord Voldemort, taking advice from the Evil Overlord Guidebook, sends his right-hand man to hire a Muggle professional, who is supposed to take care of the Boy-Who-Lived problem once and for all.

When Harry Potter returns to Hogwarts for his sixth year he encounters ``many problems, Draco Malfoy being one of them. Can he stop``himself from becoming too involved before it's too late? Slash.

In his sixth year at Hogwarts, Harry discovers that a mysterious gift and a strange storm do not mix as he and Draco are thrown back into the Marauders' time. How will they get back? Does Harry even want to get back? How will Harry woo his own mother? And why exactly is Draco there?

One-shot! Draco takes Harry shopping and encounters a rather flirtacious muggle.

As the war looms closer and closer to Hogwarts, Harry and Ginny find themselves pulled into a destiny that they have no control over. ````Will the work that Lily and James left them be enough to save the wizarding world? Will Sirius ever be able to forgive himself?````The world around Harry is changing and his destiny is fast approaching, but must all good things come to an end? (H/G, some R/Herm)

When Harry Potter defeated Voldemort, wizardom celebrated a triumph over evil, leaving historians to tidy fragmented events into lulling -- misleading -- myth. A dozen years of peace and complacency later, questions about Harry's past collide with terrifying new threats. As fears intensify, the magical community once again looks to Harry Potter for salvation. How much must he sacrifice for their safety? Is he even the hero they imagine him to be? Will he lead them to The Promised End? Adventure. Ensemble cast. Slash (H/D).

Have you ever thought that you had no reason to live? Have you ever thought that every piece of your heart had been taken out of your body, shredded up, and fed to a blast-ended skrewt? That’s how Hermione felt on the fateful evening of October 31st. This was a second occurrence for Hermione.

After an apallingly bad day, Ron gets the news that Hermione is going on a date with Viktor Krum. Driving by jealousy, Ron blackmails a reluctant Harry into helping him spy on Hermione and Krum\'s date. Secret spy names, tantalizing secrets, and insanity abound as Ron discovers his true feelings and Harry only gets more confused.

4 years after graduation, Harry opens a detective agency..What are the cases he has to deal with? Find out what really happened the day he defeated Voldemort, and what are the consequences of listening to a Muggle schizophrenic...

Draco loses things, and Harry picks them up again, more than willing to provide an instant alternative for what has been lost. Which results in an ordinary love story about two teenage boys. Well, maybe not that ordinary. H/D featuring dorky!pushy!Harry and snotty!paranoid!Draco

Harry would go to any length to be with Draco... and what about Draco?``This fic is part of the “Opposites Yet Attracted” Harry/Draco Fuh-Q-Fest and responds to the following challenges:``#40. Harry and Draco are sharing a flat. Harry loves Draco, and Draco knows it, but claims himself to be asexual, refusing all of Harry's advances. Harry methodically breaks his resistance down.``#16. The boys wake up together, naked, sticky and without any memory of how they got that way.``#35. Lucius walks in on an unexpected scene: Draco and Harry in bed together.``#17. Malfoy senior finds out what his Master's greatest enemy has been doing to his precious son, and doesn't get mad (or even, for that matter).

Ah, the kinds of things that happens when three good friends live together - and one of them likes one of the others. A Post-Hogwarts fic featuring LaydeezMan!Harry, Professor Shaggin'!Hermione and Horny!Ron.

Despite her knowledge of Harry’s feelings for another, Katie Bell fell too hard. Now, before he travels to Scotland, and out of her life for almost 9 months, she needs to find out where they exactly stand.

Deleted.

Ten years have passed since the Trio left Hogwarts. Dumbledore has organised a reunion for them at the Leaky Cauldron, but the Dream Team haven't spoken in years.``In this chapter: Dumbledore writes invitations and thinks about four of his past students...``D/Hr H/Hr R/?

Come night, they came to terms with the changes. [H/D]

Harry, after being kicked out of the Dursleys goes to spend a few days with Hermione and finds there are greater powers than hate.

Harry has mysteriously lost most of his powers and is marked for assassination. Hermione is in her apprenticeship, studying to become an FCI - Forensic Criminal Investigator, and Hogwarts has a new Headmaster that seems to butt heads with The Chosen One. One other thing, a deep dark secret is revealed about one of the Maurauders. Welcome to Harry's last year at Hogwarts...erm...one way or another.

Harry expects to return to Hogwarts for another ordinary year (well, as ordinary as they get...), but it all changes when a secret that has been kept from him for fourteen years is finally revealed...

The joining of the brother wands have had an effect on Harry no one could have predicted. Harry's fifth year will be a time of new love, ancient magics, and vampires. In his quest to defeat Voldemort, Harry will risk more than his life. He will risk his very soul.

When Hogwarts is closed for mysterious reasons, and the students sent to different schools around the world, Harry finds himself in America. In a school, things happen unlike any at Hogwarts, and the people there have their own stories. But will Morgan's story be too much for Harry's godfather Sirius to handle? One person's death can shape another's fate. And one person's fate will shape the destiny of all.

Harry tries to isolate himself and Ron won't let him.

Harry Potter & Draco Malfoy have both had their lives turned upside down by recent events. When they find themselves on the same side, will they learn to get along? Or will something more than friendship develop?

It's Harry, Hermione, and a flying lesson.

Harry meets a dog that reminds him of Sirius.

Hermione has been in love for seven years but the object of her love has never seemed interested. A trip to the Forbidden Forest and she'll never be the same again.

You decide what happens in this fic. It starts out as H/Hr, but you can change all that. As far as I'm aware, it's one of a kind!

Devastated by the deaths of her parents, Lily finds herself struggling to come to terms with the massive uncertainty inherent in a war-torn wizarding world. However, when Sirius flirts with Divination in an attempt to tease a smile to Lily's lips, he, Lily and James become trapped in another reality posing as the future. A spell cast to reveal the closest blood relative to Sirius should offer some chance of escape, but when it leads them directly to Draco Malfoy Lily finds herself asking whether morals are more important than happiness and whether a sense of right and wrong is ever worth sacrificing peace for. Ultimately, will Lily set her soul to rest, or only learn that the future never does the expected? Warnings: slash, language.

AU. Now a Seventh Year and Head Girl, Hermione relays her life in the diary given to her by Harry. From Harry sneaking into her bathroom (and acting just altogether odd), Head Girl duties, NEWTs, and hormones, to Ginny's attempts to set Hermione up in hopes of making her less neurotic, Hermione's life is slowly slipping out of her control. She's never needed a diary more in her entire life.

Did Draco make the right decision? He remembers and writes. H/D

It's been a half a year since Hogwarts ended for these 3 couples. And they're finally beginning to get serious. While in two couples, one isn't so sure...but in the other..they can't wait...

Harry and Hermione adjust to their relationship. And Ron proposing to Trelawney?! Find out why Ron said he would. A sequel to "All Because You Kissed Me Good Night".

An age reversal spell brings a sixteen year old Tom Riddle to Hogwarts. A very suspicious Harry Potter returns to school, scarred in more ways than one. Can the creation of the Dark Lord be stopped this time? Will the two enemies reconcile, or is Harry doomed to burn in his hatred forever? Slash.

Harry enters a contest to sing...a rap song by Eminem, star Muggle rap artist. He finds out about other surprising entries, too. Lots of fun.

Hermione is in her seventh year. When something is taken away from her, will she learn to live again or will life seep out of her? Will Harry be able to awaken her? Begins Draco/Hermione, ends Harry/Hermione.

Harry defeated Voldemort in his seventh year at Hogwarts, and declared his love for Hermione. Her reaction wasn't what he expected. They meet again six years later.``(Harry/Hermione)

About fifteen years ago boy of seventeen was found on a Maine beach. He only remembered one name and that is James, but who is he really? After an ordeal at work, James and his family move to Surrey. Fiona, James's oldest ``daughter is accepted to Hogwarts, and they are thrown into the wizarding world head-first. Who is this Harry Potter they speak so fondly of? And how is James and his family connected?

It's about what could happen if an American came to Hogwarts in Harry's Seventh Year. A worn-out plotline, true, but I think I spiced it up a bit.

*written for the Big Bang, Baby H/D challenge* A spectre is haunting Harry -- the responsibility of his destiny. It looms over his future and, more importantly, over the future of his friends. Harry is determined to exorcise this spectre for the greater good, but on the way, he enters into a few unholy alliances ...

Harry gets an invitation and an unexpected kiss. Will one surprise change his life forever? And will that change be a good one or not?

The inhabitants of Hogwarts are having trouble sleeping. Why? Because of nightmares, of course. But not just any nightmares; they\'re dreaming about the Fandom, and that\'s enough to scare anyone. No one\'s going to be sleeping tonight...

Harry has memory loss after the last battle with Voldemort; Ron tries to help him regain it.

Harry Potter: The Boy Who Loved?``By Rita Skeeter````In these months since He Who Must Not Be Named has been defeated, everyone in the wizarding world has watched our hero try to live an ordinary life. He appears to be succeeding, but still, there is one question: has he found love?````In which Harry is the last person to find the answer to that question. (Harry/Ron)

The moment has arrived at last. Harry confronts his most hated enemy, Lord Voldemort. You think you already know the outcome? Think again. (Developing into a H/D fic, methinks, which is slash, btw. Just wanted to try it.) ;)

Harry is having a good summer. But then he finds that Dumbledore's been sacked and has a price on his head, Fudge is Headmaster, and Draco will be living with him. Then the school year comes and EVERYTHING is completely screwed up. Fifth year fic.

To throw off the Death Eaters, Harry, Hermione, Ron and Ginny are staying at Hermione’s house for the summer. When Ron sees Hermione’s computer, it sparks questions, explanations and ego searches. What happens when they discover that there are six million, two hundred and forty thousand matches for Harry’s name?

House elves have watched the residents of Hogwarts for years. This is the retelling of a sticky love triangle between Harry, Ginny and Draco from the perspective of a dedicated house elf.

A wizard has disappeared, and the Ministry is refusing to investigate; Albus Potter is in the Hogwarts infirmary, and Ginny and Hermione are arguing over Harry's peculiar behavior. All is not as it should be. HPDH+Epilogue compliant.

Harry knows that the Dark Lord is planning another attack on him so this time he will be prepared. There is just one thing that is revealed that he wasn't quite prepared for...

They like to pretend that they are One big happy Weasley family, but they really are not. H/Hr

Harry, Hermione and Ron spend Christmas at Hogwarts. An innocent snowball fight leads to another...