Rating:
PG
House:
Riddikulus
Characters:
Harry Potter Hermione Granger Viktor Krum
Genres:
Humor Romance
Era:
Multiple Eras
Stats:
Published: 08/04/2002
Updated: 08/04/2002
Words: 5,490
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,343

Hermione and Krum\'s Disastrous Date

Big Mama G

Story Summary:
After an apallingly bad day, Ron gets the news that Hermione is going on a date with Viktor Krum. Driving by jealousy, Ron blackmails a reluctant Harry into helping him spy on Hermione and Krum\'s date. Secret spy names, tantalizing secrets, and insanity abound as Ron discovers his true feelings and Harry only gets more confused.

Posted:
08/04/2002
Hits:
2,343
Author's Note:
I have one person to thank, and that's my new beta reader, Allie. (A total genius.) This is also one of my first non-slash fan fics, so be gentle. :)

Hermione and Krum’s Disastrous Date

The day had been cursed for Ronald Weasley. All through his morning classes, teachers had bullied information , homework, and God knows what else from Ron. It began with a mishap in Transfiguration, which involved a chameleon and a Ravenclaw’s hair changing multiple colors. Ron was consequently scolded by a fuming McGonagall, who ordered him into a Saturday night detention with Professor Snape. Thoroughly incensed, he accidentally set a snapping bulb after Justin Finch-Fletchley during Herbology. After spending five minutes restraining the renegade plant, a fuming Professor Sprout assigned him to pot a fresh batch of Mandrakes Sunday morning as punishment. It was now lunch and Ron was still enraged; he had fallen asleep in Professor Binns’ history class, losing five points from Gryffindor. Ron's best friend, Harry Potter, had remained silent through all the chaos, afraid to even give one consoling word to the angry redhead. After they ate, both quiet for different reasons, they set up a wizard’s chess board and began to systematically destroy each other's forces. Harry secretly knew that winning at chess would cheer Ron up, so he purposefully did his worst. This wasn‘t difficult at all since he wasn‘t very good in the first place. The game was nearing an end, and Ron was carefully studying the board when Hermione Granger made her way into the hall. She was almost ready to sit down when Ron announced in a triumphant voice, “Checkmate!” As Ron's rook destroyed Harry’s queen, the force of the blow sent a small piece of the queen into Hermione’s eye. After many apologies were said by Ron, Hermione calmed down and found the event rather funny. Ron simply felt like crawling into a hole and dying.

“Hermione, are you sure your eye is all right? I can take you up to the infirmary…”

“No, that’s ok Ron. It just stings, that’s all.,” Hermione assured him. But as she spoke, Harry glanced toward Hermione’s eye and saw her bloodshot eye water. “Besides, I’m too excited to care about a little sore eye.”

“Excited? About what?” Harry asked curiously.

“It just so happens that Viktor invited me out to dinner tonight.”

Hermione said this flippantly, not seeing this as a big deal. Ron, however, began to choke on his glass of pumpkin juice. Before Hermione had a chance to administer an anti-choking spell, Ron began to lash out, red-faced and spitting profusely.

“You can’t go on a date with that prat!”

“And why not?” Hermione asked, raising her chin contemptuously. Ron sputtered for a few moments, not prepared with a ready answer to her question.

“Because, you have a Charms test tomorrow, remember? You need to study tonight,” Ron said, trying to gain a hold on himself.

“I just won’t study.”

These four words had an interesting effect on Harry and Ron. Harry stared open-mouthed at Hermione, a slight look of amused awe flashing on his face at the abrupt change of character. Ron, however, grew as red as his hair in anger.

“Won’t study? Have you gone mad?”

“Why do I need to study? I’ve known how to hex household objects for months now. I’m thoroughly prepared. You, on the other hand, wouldn’t know how to properly make a thimble shake let alone get a toaster to tap dance.”

“I can too! Watch this!”

Ron brandished his wand, muttering “jigglis fork”, causing the fork to simply roll over and over beside his spoon. Hermione and Harry watched this, Harry with barely concealed amusement and Hermione with a look of supreme superiority.

See?" taunted Hermione smugly. "Now, I have to get ready for tonight. I will see you two later.”

Hermione quickly left the table, her robe swishing behind her as she left the great hall for the dormitories. Ron, feeling extremely defeated and embarrassed, flared up in anger.

“Can you believe her? It’s only lunch and she’s getting ready!”

“Perhaps she’s having a bad hair day,” Harry suggested, finishing up a piece of pie.

“She always has a bad hair day.”

“Ron, watch what you say about her.”

“I didn’t mean it like that Harry! I meant that…she’s always angry…oh bloody hell, just know that I didn’t mean it like that.” Ron buried his face in his arms and Harry took the opportunity to roll his eyes and shake his head.

“Well, she has a right to do whatever she wants. Let’s hurry up; potions is next and I at least want to get out of the class only 500 points fewer for Gryffindor.” Ron raised his head and smirked, slightly happy that Snape’s attention fell more on Neville’s blunders and Harry’s breathing than on himself.

About halfway through Potions class the usual routine had commenced. Snape was currently scolding Neville for turning Goyle’s hair orange. Harry had been moved at the beginning of class for ‘eyeing Snape too much.’ At the moment, Harry was busily adding ingredients to his potion, once in a while chucking a newt’s eye or woodent weed at Draco Malfoy’s head. Ron was amused by this for a few minutes, chuckling every time Malfoy turned to see Harry innocently adding ingredients and mouthing ‘who me?’. Ron flinched suddenly as he heard the all too familiar sound of a cauldron blowing up. Neville began rushing a much-practiced apology. The swoop of Snape’s robes ensued and Ron, turning to give a comforting smile to Neville, stared in absolute shock as a blushing Hermione hurriedly sopped confusing potion off of Lavender Brown’s bewildered face. Harry, his arm suspended in mid-throw, gaped at Hermione while Malfoy managed to retaliate, throwing a bit of his potion at Harry. Neville stopped apologizing when Snape passed him, muttering an astonished ‘oh’ and joining the rest of the class’ confused looks, made without the aid of a confusing potion. Even Professor Snape had nothing to say about the mess. Hermione had finished cleaning off the potion and the once sturdy cauldron had shriveled into a contorted black shape.

“Well, it seems that no matter how smart one is their…acquaintances can produce a bad effect on them. Twenty points from Gryffindor.”

Snape quietly went back to his desk, leaving the class in an uncomfortable state of unrest. The end of class finally occurred, and Ron steered a babbling Harry straight out of the entrance hall and into the grounds before saying a single word, which erupted as a shout.

“This has got to end! Do you see what all this is doing to our Hermione?”

“She just has her head in the clouds a bit, ooh, look, dancing pixies. Think I‘ll catch one…”

“A bit? A bit?! This is Hermione we’re talking about, remember Harry? ‘It’s Levi-OH-sa, not Levi-o-SAH’ She needs to have her head back to the ground where it belongs,” Ron spewed out.

He looked to see what Harry’s reaction was, and saw that he was giddily swiping at imaginary pixies in the air. Ron muttered a restoring charm and Harry blinked, blushed, and spoke normally to Ron again.

“What do you propose to do about it?”

“Well, we just have to make sure that their ‘date’ is monitored appropriately.”

“Great, well then, have fun and don’t worry about me, Hagrid wanted me to try some of his cream puffs and you know I need to toughen my teeth a bit…”

“Oh no, Harry. You’re coming with me.”

“Ron, this is none of my business and I will not help you sabotage their date.” Thinking the conversation to be finished, Harry attempted to walk back towards the school. Ron, however, managed to restrain him before he took more than two steps.

“First of all, it is not sabotaging; it is merely giving friendly insight. And secondly, you’re her friend too. We don’t need anymore blown up cauldrons in potions. Neville makes plenty of those.”

“Ron, I refuse to get myself involved in such a situation.”

“Harry, you must!”

“I will not!”

“Aren’t you worried about Hermione’s well-being?”

“Aren’t you? There is nothing you can say or do that will make me go through with such a ridiculous plan,“ Harry finished, crossing his arms defiantly. Ron smirked, gracefully sweeping beside Harry and leaning close to his ear.

“I’m sure Malfoy would love to get wind that you had the hots for a certain Seeker.”

“Ew, Ron! I would never in my life have any kind of…of… heat for that slimy git Malfoy…”

“No, not him you idiot! I meant Cho Chang.” At that Harry clammed up, instantly blushing and issuing a cold sweat.

“I do not have the hots for her.”

“Aw, come on Harry. You know you want to seek her snitch, if you know what I mean.” Harry’s eyes bugged out, and he stared at Ron incredulously, not able to find a single word to clear himself of guilt.

“I would not want her ‘snitch‘. All I want is just to play with her, that’s it.”

It was now Ron’s turn to stare with his mouth gaped open. Harry, not realizing the immediate connotation of those words, stared at him in a moment of confusion. As soon as his thoughts fell in the gutter, however, Harry’s eyes widened and he registered what he had said.

“I mean that…I…Quidditch! Play Quidditch with her!” he sputtered, eventually giving up and hanging his head in defeat. Ron produced a triumphant smile and Harry frowned dejectedly.

“So?” asked Ron impatiently.

“Fine. I’ll ‘spy’ with you. But if you say anything, and I mean anything, so help me in the name of Merlin I will transfigure you into Snape’s underwear.” Ron scrunched his face up in disgust and then shook Harry’s hand in agreement.

Later that evening Hermione asked to borrow Harry’s invisibility cloak with not even a grunt of disapproval from Ron. She waved goodbye gleefully and left the two boys playing an innocent game of wizard chess. Some time passed and soon everyone had gone to bed. As soon as the last person headed up to their rooms, Ron jumped up and started toward the portrait hole.

Harry jogged up to him, wrestling him out of the portrait hole. “Ron, wait.”

“No Harry, I’m going and you are too. If not, then I think I might take a trip down to the dungeons now. I’m sure a certain Slytherin is there waiting to hear the latest Harry Potter gossip.” Harry winced, but determinedly pulled Ron back.

“I’m not backing out. We just can’t just waltz out of here without any preparation. We need the Marauder’s map and disguises.”

“Disguises?”

I’m not planning on getting caught. After dinner I pulled some stuff together, so get ready. Wear these black robes on so no one can see you. And put some of this on your face.”

Harry pulled out a bag of items and tossed clothes at him. At his last words he pulled out a black pastel, drawing two smudges under his eyes. Ron picked up the pastel apprehensively, staring confoundedly at it. Harry had already begun pulling the robes on, so Ron went to a mirror hanging in the corner and began applying. When he turned around, Harry could barely stifle a laugh at Ron’s face; he had drawn a smiley face on one cheek, a big X on the other, and several dots and stars ran across the rest of his face. Instead, Harry merely sighed, letting the incident slide. Ron began poking around in the bag, nodding as he found a pair of omnioculars stashed inside, but looked curiously at a pair of walkie-talkies.

“I thought Hermione said you couldn’t use these at Hogwarts,” he muttered, examining them.

“You can’t, but at Hogsmeade you can.”

“What possessed you to bring these to school?”

“They aren’t mine. Dean brought them, but later found out he couldn’t use them.”

“Looks like another non-reader of Hogwarts, A History,” Ron joked. He turned slightly serious for a moment. “Have you ever read the book?”

“Just a chapter or two out of boredom and curiosity. You?”

“Nah, but I used it as a paperweight once,” Ron replied, grinning stupidly. Harry shook his head, wondering what he was going to do with Ron, but Ron had turned his attention back to the walkie-talkies.

“How do these work?” He began to shake one of them, holding it to his mouth and attempting to speak into it. Harry snatched the walkie-talkie from its violation and held it out toward Ron so he could see.

“Well, you press that button to talk, and release it to let me talk. Just don’t use our names, make sure to use a code name so no one finds out that it’s us out there spying on our friend. Heaven knows I would die it someone found out about all this.”

“We’re not spying, we’re just-”

“-protecting our friend from making a mistake, right.”

“Let’s just go, we’re wasting time.”

The two managed to make their way effortlessly through Hogwarts and were soon walking past the gates and on to the neighboring town of Hogsmeade. As soon as they arrived, Ron had discovered where Hermione and Krum were ; they were happily drinking bottles of butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks. Ron and Harry crouched below a window and Ron peeked through the bottom of the glass with his omnioculars. As time passed Harry steadily grew more and more bored, prodding dirt clots with his wand and occasionally casting dancing charms on small insects, practicing for his charms test tomorrow. On the other hand, Ron was obsessed with his mission, showing Harry replays every so often and making comments about each one.

“See that! She rolled her eyes. She’s getting bored. I know it!” he babbled excitedly.

“Hmm…Oh yeah, really bored…”

Harry yawned, longing to be inside the Three Broomsticks drinking a warm bottle of butterbeer himself. He contemplated simply leaving Ron alone, but the thought of listening to the Slytherins tease him about Cho was enough to keep him grounded. Harry felt around in his pocket and found a few Sickles.

“I’m going to get some Fizzing Whizbees at Honeydukes. Want anything?”

“Harry! You have to stay here and not be seen!”

“If you need anything, just talk to the walkie-talkie and I’ll be back, all right?”

Harry left quickly before Ron could change his mind. After getting lost in the aroma and warmth of Honeydukes for over ten minutes, Harry barely realized that a voice was trying to talk through the walkie-talkie. Harry pulled it out, hoping that Ron had not gotten caught in the matter of minutes that had passed.

“Spider lover to snape kisser, over.” Harry drew the walkie-talkie to arms length, shocked at what Ron had called him. A witch at the candy counter smirked at him, and Harry blushed furiously under her gaze. He hid himself in a corner before he pressed the button and whispered as heatedly as he could.

“Ron, when I said make sure no one believed it was us, I didn’t mean for you to take it that far…”

“Snape kisser! This is spider lover, not Ron.” Harry shook his head, holding his head in his hands. He pinched the bridge of his nose; he felt a headache coming on.

“Why are you reaching me, spider lover?”

“Cauldron blower and one brow are leaving base, over.” Harry sighed, standing up to leave.

“I’ll meet you outside Honeydukes R…I mean, spider lover.”

“That’s affirmative, snape kisser.”

A minute later Harry met Ron outside of the store . They followed close behind the courting couple, Harry pulling Ron back every step or so to keep him from being spotted by his lack of stealth. At last the couple reached a bench near a lake, sitting side by side.

“Oh no, I can’t hear what they are saying.”

“That’s too bad, really. Guess we better call it a night…Ron, where are you going?” Harry hissed, following Ron to the trunk of a nearby tree.

“I’m sitting up here to hear better.”

“Ron, this is ridiculous! I refuse to shimmy up that tree.”

“Well, that’s just too bad. But I know something else you’d love to shimmy up…” A minute later Harry was perched on a tree limb, his arms folded angrily.

“Blackmail is not becoming of you, Ron.”

“Yeah, but it works,” Ron whispered, leaning closer to hear. They began to hear a piece of the conversation.

“Vell, I must say dat you and Harry are very close.”

“We have shared a lot over the years, yes.” Ron gestured toward Harry, and Harry’s attention perked up. “It’s just that it would never work out with us,” she continued, shaking her head. Harry raised his eyebrows, smirking as Ron’s eyes widened considerably. Harry leaned forward, not wanting to miss this conversation.

“Vie is dat?”

“Well, I should keep this to myself, and I know it may sound incredibly silly, but I swear that he has some kind of a crush on Draco Malfoy.” Harry almost fell out of the tree in shock, and Ron had to put both hands firmly over his mouth to keep from bursting out laughing. Harry sputtered indignantly, only one thought present in his mind. ‘Hermione, we need to have a long, long talk tomorrow’. Krum smiled, shaking his head in amusement.

“Draco Malfoy, eh? So you think dat he is gay?”

“Well, not entirely. But he flirts with him like a school girl with a crush. Ron made a squeaking sound, his face beet red from trying not to laugh. Harry fumed, at this point willing to take on Voldemort and the entire horde of Death Eaters rather than sit there and hear his supposed friend talk about his non-existent love life.

“Vell, vat are your classes like?” Krum asked, changing the subject.

The conversation turned to more dull matters after that and Harry soon became bored again. Bored and very hungry. Harry soon realized that he was in an apple tree and began munching on an apple. Ron caught on to what Harry was doing and searched for one himself. A lone apple hung on a high branch and Ron stood up and leaned to retrieve it. Just as he plucked it, a bird flew in his face, causing him to lose hold of the apple. The apple fell swiftly, and ended up landing on Hermione’s head. Both boys froze in the position they were in, not daring to breathe.

“What was that?” Hermione asked, starting to look around her. Ron, sensing trouble, acted quickly.

“Meow,” Ron meowed, doing a very poor impersonation of a cat.

“Sounds like a cat.”

“A dying cat,” Hermione replied, knitting her eyebrows together. Harry covered his mouth, afraid of laughing. Ron rolled his eyes, sitting more still now than before.

“Hey look Viktor, a boat! Let’s go for a quick ride.” They both headed toward the boats. After they had floated away, Harry and Ron left the confines of the tree to stare after it.

“Guess that’s it then,” Harry stated happily, turning around and walking quickly back to the path leading to Hogwarts. Ron sighed, following and pulling at Harry’s shirt collar. Harry made a choking noise before turning around to glare at Ron.

“We’re not finished; get in the boat.” He pointed toward an empty boat. Harry seldom wanted to hurt his friend, but right now he was having pleasant visions of ripping Ron’s head off and laughing maniacally as he did so.

“Ron, this is going far beyond the parameters of ‘friendly counseling’ or whatever term you use for this. This is called ‘borderline obsession’. I refuse to get on one of those foul boats and stalk my best friend. I don’t care if I have to tell the whole school that I have a crush…which I don’t, by the way. I am leaving.”

Ron stared open-mouthed as Harry once again walked away. Ron bent his head down, contemplating using his last line of defense. After gathering his wits he yelled, calling out for Harry. Harry turned, giving him his perfected pissed off look. Ron jogged toward him, whispering something in his ear. Harry raised his eyebrows, shock forming on his face with his words.

“I was not…No way I was doing that…You’re lying Ron, you can’t prove it…underwear? How did those get under there…not that they were on said person, nor was the person in my room at that time…”

A few minutes later, a sulking Harry was crunched in a corner of the boat, while Ron peered over the edge in rapt attention. Hermione and Krum were a few yards away, and Ron directed the boat closer and closer. Harry, despite his resolution to stay out of Ron’s business, found this hard as he noticed that the boat was edging far too close to Hermione and Krum’s boat.

“Ron, don’t you think we should be trailing them, not practically banging into their boat. Well, on the upside, if you rammed their boat then I would get to leave.” Ron scowled, ignoring Harry and trying his best to get as close as possibly to their target. Harry sighed, waiting for the inevitable. Sure enough, it came, as Hermione finally heard a distinct swooshing of water and happened to look up at their darkened boat.

“Someone else is out here. Wonder if we know them…” Hermione started to guide their boat towards Ron and Harry’s. Ron let out a squeak, turning wide-eyed to Harry.

“She knows we’re here!” Ron whispered frantically to Harry, feverishly looking around for something to hide themselves. Harry rolled his eyes, leaned against the side of the boat dejectedly, and crossed his arms in a haughty way.

“Oh really? I would never have guessed that they would notice a humongous boat practically rowing alongside them,” Harry said sarcastically, practically spitting in Ron's face with the intensity of it. Ron scowled, but was soon distracted from Harry’s attitude by Hermione muttering ‘Lumos’ and the sight of wand light moving in their direction. Harry sat up quickly, relieved to see that this whole spiel was finally over. He felt so happy that he even began to raise his hand to wave at Hermione and quickly shout out the speech of apology he had been reciting to himself the moment Ron had duped him into going on this ‘mission’. His actions were impaired, however, as Ron did the last thing a man as desperate as himself could do. He flung himself on Harry’s frightened form, and wrapped his arms tightly around his horrified friend. Harry wanted to shout out, but Ron had firmly placed his hand over Harry’s mouth. Harry began acting on heterosexual instinct and tried biting Ron’s hand.

Ron leaned close to his ear and whispered fiercely, “Pretend we are a couple making out. If you don’t, I swear I’ll shove that oar over there up your arse.” Harry, feeling too weak to fight, simply squeezed his eyes shut and prepared himself for the worst.

Ron started making kissing noises, his face only an inch from his. Harry whimpered in humiliation, promising himself that he was going to send Ron to St. Mungo’s at the crack of dawn tomorrow. Hermione made a small sound of comprehension and promptly muttered ‘nox’, leaving the ‘couple’ to their own affairs. Harry angrily threw Ron off and then lay motionless as he realized that he was probably going to admit himself to St. Mungo’s also. Ron, instead of feeling mortified by his brazenness, was exceedingly happy with his quick wit. Harry remained quiet, pleading with the gods to let Ron regain his senses.

After a few minutes, things had calmed down. Ron now knew for certain that Harry was mad, for every time Ron dared look at him, his eyes seemed to shoot laser beams at Ron, burning holes through him. Then, the worst happened. During a heated conversation, Krum leaned in, apparently seeking to kiss Hermione. Ron, however, had other plans. He had remembered a few weeks ago when Professor Flitwick had taught them a Shaking Charm. Grinning devilishly, Ron pulled his wand out of his pocket and muttered ‘tumultuis’ before Harry even had a chance to react. It all happened rather quickly. Ron, intending to only shake the boat slightly, had completely upended it. Harry stared dumbstruck at the upturned boat, rushing to the side to see if they needed help. Hermione and Krum eventually bobbed to the surface, and before they could try and leave the scene of the crime, Hermione had caught sight of Ron.

“Ronald Weasley,” Hermione seethed, her hair soaked and clinging rather unattractively around her head. Ron cowered on the spot, backing up into Harry. Quickly remembering the last time Ron had been pressed up to him, Harry kicked Ron away, hastily turning to Hermione.

“Before you get mad, Hermione, I’d like to say that this is all his fault,” Harry said, pointing at Ron. Ron glowered at him, opening his mouth to speak but not in enough time to beat Hermione’s angry words.

“Ron, I never, ever want to speak to you again. You stay away from me, you complete fool!” Luckily for Ron, Krum dragged Hermione away before she could say any more and swam with ease back to the shore.” Harry, preparing to voice his opinions of Ron also, stopped short when he saw the face of a kicked puppy look back at him. Harry sighed, cursing himself that he could be so forgiving of his sadistic best friend. Nevertheless, it was Harry who rowed the boat back to land and aided a helpless Ron back to the dormitories.

Hermione was as bad as her word. She forgave Harry in a week’s time after he had stolen her Arithmancy book and forced her to listen to his side of the story. Blackmail, Harry realized, worked really well. Getting her to talk to Ron, however, was out of the question. No matter what Harry said or what Ron tried to do, Hermione blatantly ignored Ron for an entire month. Harry once again found himself in the middle of the two, trying to sort things out. But Hermione staunchly refused to speak to Ron, and Ron began to grow almost depressed at the entire situation. Eventually Harry knew that the only way to end all this was to get Ron to not only apologize to Hermione (which he had tried countless times) but to also get Hermione to listen to him. He found Ron late one evening in the Gryffindor common room by himself, staring blankly at a crackling fire. Harry sat near him for a few minutes, mulling over what he was going to say to Ron. Finally, Harry decided to wing it, just as he always ended up doing anyway.

“Ron, what made you want to spy on Hermione?” Ron stiffened, but instead of bringing up his usual excuse, he simply said nothing and ignored Harry.

Harry was persistent. “Look, I know what’s going on, you don’t have to lie to me. Why can’t you admit that you were jealous?” Ron glared at him.

“Because I was not jealous and I…”

“Ron, you’re beginning to sound like Draco Malfoy saying he’s not jealous of me.”

“Perhaps Hermione was right about you…” Ron mumbled.

“What was that?” Harry asked, a sharp, suspicious edge to his voice.

“I am not jealous and I don’t need you trying to tell me anything. Hermione is just taking this too hard.”

“Ron, you spied on her and tipped her boat over. I would have made sure you were promptly put to death if you did that to me. If I had a date with an untrustworthy girl, would you spy on me?”

“No, because you can handle yourself.”

“Just like Hermione can handle herself; even you’re not that thick to understand that.”

“Where are you going with this?” asked Ron. Harry sighed, giving up on trying to talk Ron into anything. He had spent too many years trying to understand Ron’s behavior, and if there was one thing he learned, it was that you just had to push him in the right direction. Harry stood up, making an attempt to leave. Ron slumped back in his chair, feeling slightly happier that Harry had given up berating him.

“Oh, Ron.” Harry walked close to Ron’s chair, holding something behind his back and speaking in a much softer and less threatening voice. “Look, I know that no matter what I say you won’t hear me out. All I need to tell you is that you and Hermione do not have to fight like cats and dogs forever. Hermione is not like us, obviously. She’s a grown woman, and you’re going to have to accept that. Instead of trying to get her to act according to you, perhaps it’s time you try to understand her.” Harry pushed a heavy copy of Hogwarts, A History into Ron’s lap, staring at him thoughtfully before leaving. Ron sat for a few seconds, taking in what Harry had told him. Then, out of curiosity, Ron opened the book and began to read.

A few days later Harry and Ron were walking to join the rest of the school at the Quidditch pitch. As of lately, Hermione would spend the match in the library, not interested unless Harry was playing. As Harry and Ron happily strode out towards the stands, Ron caught sight of Hermione walking briskly back toward the castle. He looked after her a bit before making a decision.

“Harry, go watch the match without me.” Harry raised his eyebrows at him, but stopped himself from replying. He had also seen Hermione and simply nodded in silent approval. Ron jogged back, scanning the halls for Hermione. He caught up with her down a deserted hall, and found himself calling after her.

“Hermione! Look, we need to talk!”

“Ron, I have nothing to say to you. Go watch the Quidditch match.”

“Hermione, you have to listen to me…” Hermione turned, Ron almost crashing into her. They stood inches apart before Hermione glared at him, causing him to cower though he was at least a foot taller than she was.

“I…I’m sorry, Hermione. I kind of…got carried away, and I know I shouldn’t have done it.”

“Right, you shouldn’t have. But I am still angry with you and no amount of apologizing will help you this time, Ron.” Hermione once again turned around, storming away. Ron stared after her, suddenly at a loss for words. Then Harry’s words came flooding back, and suddenly Ron understood. He yelled as loud as he could, his voice echoing off the walls.

“Hogwarts was founded one thousand years ago by Rowena Ravenclaw, Helga Hufflepuff, Godric Gryffindor, and Salazar Slytherin!” Hermione froze, letting the words sink in. Ron, feeling emboldened, yelled again.

“In 1654 a teacher's strike closed the school for a year.” Hermione turned slowly around, her face a look of complete shock and confusion. Ron walked closer, lowering his voice and making it stronger.

“Students are picked by a magical quill that writes down the names of children with magical powers and sends those letters to those names when they reach the age of eleven.” Hermione’s face softened ever so lightly, and a smile threatened to appear on her face. Ron walked ever closer, desperately seeking more information he had read from Hogwarts, A History.

“The suits of armor were imported from London’s Oxington castle in the early 1400s. They were enchanted by a wayward caretaker in 1892.” Hermione then smiled brightly, not believing her ears. She then walked toward him, meeting him halfway. They both stopped when they were near each other, and Ron remembered another fact.

“The Hogwarts crest was created in 1328 by Sir Williams de Laney…” Hermione closed the small space between them and placed a tender kiss on Ron’s mouth. Ron’s eyes widened like saucers before closing again, wrapping his gangly arms around Hermione’s thin shoulders. A few moments later they broke apart, both smiling at each other in a brand new light.

“I…Hermione, I’m…”

“It’s ok Ron, really. Let’s go to the library.” Hermione walked forward and Ron lagged behind for a moment, then ran quickly to catch up. Halfway down the hall, Hermione slipped her hand into Ron’s and they walked hand in hand toward the library.

Harry sat alone at the Quidditch field, surveying the new Seekers for Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw. About half an hour into the match, Harry realized that Ron wasn’t coming back and smirked happily. No more spying for him. He leaned back, resting his head comfortably on his arms. As the match roared on, two people sat directly on either side of Harry. On his left, Draco Malfoy, and on his right, Cho Chang. Harry moaned, burying his head in his hands, realizing that his battle was not over yet. ‘This outta be interesting…’ But what happened is another story, another day, and another round of stalking.