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You know when you watch the Harry Potter movies and there are some parts you just HAVE to laugh hysterically at? Well, if you do, are they Ron's quotes? If you have answered yes, to both of these questions, then you should read this fic because it explores 'all those weird Ron quotes,' and DO they have a basis in reality - or at least dream reality.

(written before OotP) Ron predicts something about Draco and Ginny, which actually induces something between Draco and Ginny, while Harry and Hermione are sorting out their own relationship, and Ron is dating Padma... Can this get any more confusing?

Harry and Draco are out of Hogwarts. Harry's an Auror and Draco's a... Hollywood movie star? Hold up, wait, it's not as weird as it seems (or maybe it is). Expect loads of mayhem and surprises, lots of angst and petty jabs. Fun for the whole family!

Two young witches transfer to Hogwarts from Canada. Chaos ensues. Not your usual Mary-Sues :)

What happens when you put a hopelessly "romantic" man-whore and a girl with a soft spot for bedtime activities (not THOSE activities, silly!) together in a dark bedroom? Well, I don't happen to know either, so I suppose we'll find out together, won't we? Come with me, Tia C. Spencer, on a lovely ride through the countryside... er, lakeside... okay, so we won't actually be riding NEXT to anything, but it will be lovely, I promise you that. How can it not be, with me as your illustrious (and quite possibly mad) companion? And no, contrary to beliefs very likely impressed upon you by this summary, I'm not a gormless prat. Well... not entirely.

Sometimes the only way to clean out your brain is to get really dirty. Frustration with the opposite sex unites the girls of Hogwarts towards a single purpose that may mean nothing in the long run, but means everything right now.

As a Valentine's Day joke, Ron arranges for Sev, Draco & Harry to compete for Hermione on a wizarding version of "Singled Out meets SNL Celebrity Jeopardy." Featuring Mrs. Norris on crack, host Al Extra Beck, & guest star Con Seannery. SS/HG/DM

Draco’s class has the Boggart lesson with Professor Lupin (like the title says) and thus we find out their worst fears.

All she wanted was to catch his eye, but when she agrees to a makeover, things change...

Granted great power from the mysterious book of Black, a young girl comes under the care of the wizards and witches of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, where she must learn the limits of her power and confront those that wish to take it from her.

When Fred and George make a jelly bean that makes you fall in love with anyone you see, very odd things start happening at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Unusual relationships, over-excessive snogging, and plenty of humor await you...

Ridiculously AU with the release of HBP & DH: The trials and tribulations of Pansy Parkinson as she attempts to seduce the unwitting Draco Malfoy. Watch her fail, rise and come out victorious. For awhile, at least.

James is back to Sirius. They walk in on the middle of something that makes both Harry and Remus very uneasy, discuss about their past and occasionally snog a bit.

It's the day of Draco's wedding and, as you'd expect, everything possible goes wrong.

In which Draco attempts to make up for Hogwarts' appalling lack of musical studies by teaching Harry what Ravel was really about, proving in the process that teenage boys are incapable of thinking about anything but sex.

There are many things which Percy Weasley is good at. This is one of them.

When Hermione kisses Severus Snape, feared Potions Master of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, on the cheek as an act of gratitude, she doesn't know what impact the little gesture will have on her life.

An accident in his class leaves Snape with a temporary job... as a babysitter!?!? And what is old You-Know-Who up to anyways?!!

On a Christmas visit to Hogsmeade, Harry Potter meets a young man named Clarence who claims to be an angel sent from Heaven. But it isn't what you think, folks! A chance encounter with a saddened old lady leads Harry to perform a few Christmas miracles, learn a few lessons about faith, life, and death, and find a long-lost family treasure in a place he never expected. Merry Christmas, FictionAlley!

'I know you want something in return. Now tell me, what is it?' she finally said, gaining some control of herself as Draco backed his knees away.````He laughed coldly, and with a sneering smile he took his finger and ran it through the warm skin of her right leg.````She shivered; unaware of the fact of what he was suggesting, she was too busy noticing that he had leaned over, and their lips were inches apart.````Finally he whispered in her ear, his lips catching on the flesh of her ear, and said,````'I think you know what I want.'````Ginny will do anything to get with Harry, even if it means sleeping with Draco Malfoy, as in, fraternizing with the enemy, doing extremely evil deeds, and oh yeah, of course, a raper is involved...of course!

What happens when Fred and George tried to play Cupid to Hermione?

Things are about to get complicated. Sirius has started dating Cassandra Connell, but unbeknownst to him Hannah Underwood likes Sirius too. Hannah starts getting anonymous love notes, and Remus seems oddly quiet lately. And where exactly do Lily and James fit into this?

AU. Lucius Malfoy is a vampire. Remus Lupin is his servant. Unfortunately to Sirius, the very same day he is shocked by this sudden revelation, another vampire is hunting in the school grounds -- and soon, a third one, too. At first, he couldn't even think about taking Severus Snape as his servant, but when Snape falls gravely ill, he needs to make a fast decision. SLASH RL/LM SS/SB

Harry's all grown up but his adventures are far from over. He now has his daughter to worry about. And, much to Harry's dismay, Ema has another ``prophecy swirling around her that puts not only herself, but her best friend, ``Muggle-born Ari in mortal peril.

She was bored. He was reading. Armed only with her wit, Tonks sets on a one woman mission to catch the attention of a sullen werewolf.

Neville didn't get to go to the Yule Ball with Hermione because of Viktor Krum. Harry is now interested in Hermione, but she doesn't want to have to choose between him and Ron. Harry wishes that Neville could be her boyfriend, so one of them might be happy. Little does he realise what will come of this wish.... (Overt H/Hr, hinted R/Hr, overt N/Hr.)

“I am completely horrified right now,” Draco responded blandly. “And strangely intrigued...” The ever popular scenario: Veritaserum in the Potions Lab. H/D. Humour.

Hermione finds Ron's notes on what kissing her is like.

A little visit to Privet Drive leads to a few first kisses.... and results in a night that leaves a few of them feeling a bit hazy!

Draco hates Harry. Harry hates Draco. Right? Wrong. Draco loses his pants, Harry gets smashed, and what is going on in that Quidditch shed anyway?

A sequel to Happy Birthday, Remus Lupin and Happy Very First Birthday, Baby Lupin.``Remus and Sirius return to their seventh year in Hogwarts with their one-month-old baby in tow. Cuteness, babysitters, kidnappers, nice Slytherins, and other random insanity ensues.``SLASH RL/SB (SS/LM)

The story of the Marauder's Second Year at Hogwarts from different POV's.

Every year the Sorting Hat decides which House each student belongs in. But how does it *really* make the decision?

It's the start of the fifth year at Hogwarts... And Dumbledore has a surprise for everyone... A game that allows you to communicate your feelings, without revealing your identity... H/Hr, G/D

In love with Harry Potter?! HA! The only thing Draco Malfoy feels for Potter is intense hatred... isn't it?

**Marauders Era** Farren Graham is a seventh year Muggle-born at Hogwarts. During her final year, she finds herself becoming involved with some of the least expected people: Sirius Black and Severus Snape. This is her story. Read the shags, the fights, and how she connected everything.

Hermione is forced to take remedial Potions. During the extra lessons she concocts a love potion to see if Ron really loves her. Unfortunately it falls into the wrong hands...

Harry Potter is a bad apple - a delinquent - a horrible example of a boy entering his teen years. Why, the Dursleys can tell you that right away! There's nothing special about him, even if he once thought the scar on his forehead looked like a thunderbolt and that he used to think about flying. No. To put it simply, there's just nothing magical about him.

Lord Voldemort was in the bathroom.````And, judging from the large empty space on the bookshelf, he had taken Uncle John's Bathroom Reader with him.````Have you ever wondered what life with the Dark Lord is like? What does he do when he's not trying to kill Harry? Let's all take a look at Voldemort in a way he never intended for people to see...let's go in the house with the Dark Lord.

Lily Evans hated James Potter...but not always. A change of heart came around one day, and James and Lily started falling in love. This is dedicated to all the hopeless romantics out there.

So you want to go to Hogwarts? You've heard all the glorious stuff about magic, the wizarding world, fantastic beasts, wondrous sports and adventure? ``Well, let me tell you how it is – introduce you to the things that don't make it into the brochure, the report they should send with the famous Hogwarts Letter, but sure as hell won't. Heck, if I were deputy headmistress McGonagall, I wouldn't either!

Lupin and Snape have their differences. But when Lupin's life is put in danger, it turns out that Snape cares enough to take action. How much trouble will they get into in order to protect each other? And what, exactly, is driving them to want to make their lives fit together? When plan after farfetched plan fails, Lupin and Snape will have to take a big step and acknowledge that spending their lives together is far more important than being practical. Written for the Master and the Wolf Fuh-Q-Fest challenge #35: Remus was about to be put down by the new regulation from the Ministry. What did Severus do?

It's a conspiracy! A SS/HG tale starring Mad-Eye Moody.

"You should write a book," Ron told Hermione as he cut up his potatoes, "translating mad things girls do so boys can understand them." ...``What Ron didn't expect was for Hermione to actually write it. A missing moment from OotP.

Hermione accidentally sprays Ron in the face with an orange potion, which has unexpected consequences. They find themselves electrically linked together, in an evening of discovery. Will Ron lose his eyesight? Will he remember their shared experience? Hermione creates a special keepsake to help him remember their time together.

Professor Snape is a very disagreeable man, not to mention stubborn. So naturally everyone is surprised when he is chosen to be Hogwarts new Sex Ed teacher.

Harry must face mens' 'unaccountable bias in favour of beauty'.

This is an Alternate Universe fic set in Harry's fifth year. Harry encounters an interesting new Hogwarts student, an unlikely friendship, and a bit of a mystery concerning Voldemort's heir.

Born of a challenge by the Sphinx, this is my version of Quidditch in Bed, the innuendo-fest that is a Gryffindor's guide to putting the *ahem* Quaffle through the hoop. The first chapter gives a list of the titles of subsequent chapters. There were certain required elements, which are also duly noted.

Seventh year is going to be quite busy for our favorite couple and their friends. They must balance NEWT classes, 2nd level Auror classes, relationships, jealous friends, dangerous classmates, as well as keep their cool in the face of the worst wizard in a century. (Sequel to Deer to Me)

A mildly fluffy romantic comedy set in Post-Hog London about what happens when Ginny ever-so-politely asks Harry to deflower her.

The hilarious tale of desires. James wants Lily. Sirius wants Remus. The objects of their affection want not to have PMS.

Ron and Ginny both think they've got the raw end of the deal in life. What happens when a mysterious force causes them to switch bodies? Includes FashonClueless!Ron and AngryAtFashionCluelessRon!Ginny. Should be fun!

H/G fluff with a side order of R/Hr. Set during the summer after GoF. Dreams, letters, and hormones abound.

In which Harry quits in spectacular fashion. Nobody is happy about it... not even Draco Malfoy. (Written before HBP. Sixth year. H/D slashy overtones.)

The Slytherins and the Marauders have to face the consequences ``of their actions. A sequel to "Stuck" and "Stuck in the Muddle" (and the inspiration ``for "If Ewe Are Prepared.")

One unforeseen incident brings Draco and Ginny into each other’s lives. They meet, they bicker, they hex and they try to uncross their paths but more incidents abound. Misunderstandings, duels, pranks, detentions. And therapy sessions with Professor Trelawney. Will they eventually learn to manage their anger and stop making each other’s life miserable? Or will they discover something more? Features sixthyear!Draco, feisty!Ginny, curious!Hermione and curious!Blaise. And a whole lot more about growing up, change, and discovering the true self.

Another year at Hogwarts and new love is popping up in unlikely places. Can love survive the odds?

Romilda Vane doesn't ask Ginny about whether Harry has a tattoo on his chest for no reason. A lesson in how rumours get started. (Another missing scene from HBP; sequel to "Mad About the Boy." Decidedly H/G with a little R/Hr.)

Dobby sings!

It's their 7th year at Hogwarts. Hermione and Ron finally became a couple but Professor McGonagall did something that changed it all… Draco met his first love… and Harry is conscious about his grades

Snape and James Potter brothers? James a twin? Harry and Draco ``related?

It had all the ingredients of a great evening: chocolate biscuits, a practical joke (perfectly executed, despite one slight problem with the concept), sneaking around the castle at night, narrow escapes from various predatory creatures, and a little-known secret passage to explore. Except Remus was thirty-four and he ought to know better, and he had a snarky Potions Master along for company. (Semi-sequel to "My Teenage Fan Club," but makes sense on its own.)

Harry was sent to Azkaban and was later found to be innocent. With the help of Ron, he will find out who his true friends are. Will he forgive those who betrayed him? Will he be able to let the world know what kind of man Dumbledore really is? Who are the Watchers and what do they have to do with Dumbledore? Evil Dumbledore, Slytherin Ron and Harry. Hermione bashing.

Contrary to popular belief Harry and Draco’s first encounter was not in Madame Malkins Robe Shop but in a park at the age of five. Oneshot.

A sequel to

Harry returns for his seventh year at Hogwarts only to find he's forgotten something rather important over the summer. Harry/Draco slash, mpreg.

An April Fool's Day prank on Severus Snape goes horribly, horribly wrong with amusing results (but Snape is not amused!) Snape suspects a certain moon-temperamental DADA teacher...but is he really the one to blame?

Ginny, who is plagued by nightmares that are slowly driving her insane, decides to take her future into her own hands, but that means revisiting the past.

It's 7th year and Draco has gotten Harry in trouble ((again)) landing them both in detention. Comedy of Errors meets Dramatic Romance. Beautifully SLASHy. Pre HBP. Please R & R.

Draco and Ginny are the parents of two young sons. See who wins the age old battle for control of the Malfoy household. Who knew kids could be so crafty? Certainly not the hapless parents! The Cabbage Capers fills in gap between the And Baby Makes Three and Fifteen Years timelines.

Harry's having the best summer of his life with a little help from his friend. Laughs, thrills, spills and an already legendary bikini.

This is nothing but a series of ficlets that all have to do with beds in one way or another. It's nothing but pure fluff, and nothing but pure fun.

It’s Harry’s eighteenth birthday party, and he and Draco make drunken conversation which may lead to something more. Involves secret identities, autographs, kissing, tickling, and a bit of “Who’s your daddy?” Slash.

I am James Potter and I am perfect. Or so I thought. I was grandly disillusioned by Lily Evans in fifth year. She is the most amazing girl imaginable, but she doesn't know that. She doesn't even know I like her, which is odd considering I ask her out about every other week. I always get a negative answer. This is my story and this is how I won over Lily Evans. It wasn't as easy as it sounds.

Everyone's fed up with Ron and Hermione's "secret" attraction to each other. What happens when a small plan to get them together turns into a massive project involving a good portion of the student body? A humorous read for anyone who finds the Ron/Hermione romance in the books mind bogglingly frustrating.

What would happen if student wizards snuck away for a weekend of freedom with a hope of nookie? The sort of thing any kid wishes to do, with the added complications of misused magic . . .

Harry is hurting after Sirius's death. One day, while he and Remus are cleaning out Sirius's room, they discover a story of sorts that the Marauders wrote during their fifth year at Hogwarts, about, what else? The many gruesome deaths of Severus Snape! These stories help Harry get through his troubles about Sirius and help him get through his depression.

When Harry finds out that a foreign exchange student is attending Hogwarts he is in for an interesting sixth year. Hermione is excited at first, but then she learns to hate their visitor when she discovers she may be outshone in books, smarts, and looks. But is this newcomer who she says she is? Or does ``she have a secret that only time will tell? Filled with snobs, animals and song. A story that you should enjoy to the last drop.

It's a boring day at James' house. That is, of course, until Remus finds a book titled Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.

It's MWPP/L's first year at Hogwarts, but not everything is quite perfect. Lily's having troubles with her sister, Remus with his guardian, Peter can't get on the good side of the DADA teacher, and Sirius and James are being... Sirius and James! But it's clear it's not just another year at Hogwarts when the Sorting Hat makes a strange prophecy...

Ron gets a Love Letter from a Secret Admirer!! Can you guess who it is? Ron attempts to figure it out, but can you guess who it is?

Woobies of Destiny: Harry/Neville FQF, wave 2 #110. Harry doesn't know about wizard pregnancy possibilities and laws until it's much too late. Neville helps him.

It has been a bad summer. Now it is going to be /badder/. He'll have to confront his worst fears. He'll come eye to eye with the creatures that have been haunting him for thirty years... be afraid. Be very much afraid. It's time to meet - The Pack! SS/RL harmless slash.

Her milkshakes bring all the boys to the yard And they're like Its better than yours And she's like I'm not just some score Ginny is practically swimming in young men, but there's a problem...BOYS ARE NEEDY!!!

To everything there is a natural balance. To evil there is good; to a right there is a bad. To the sun we have the moon, and to the morning there is the night. To Voldemort we have Dumbledore, and to Draco Malfoy there will be always a Harry Potter. To the Chamber of Secrets we also have a balance. A balance four minor characters will find. A story of mystery, love, and hope involving Oliver, Marcus, Penelope, and Percy -- the heroes before Harry Potter came to Hogwarts.

Middle Earth has a problem: Gandalf the Grey is AWOL in Time and Space after destroying the Balrog of Khazad-dum. But who will take his place in the Quest to defeat the Dark Lord Sauron? Not who you think... HP/LOTR Crossover. Wildly AU! UK English.

A parody of the famous "How the Grinch Stole Christmas," by Dr. Seuss.

I analyzed myself again today. It’s a process I have become quite accustomed to. It seems as though every week I come up with another idea, or several as it may be, explaining everything about myself. This week’s topic: love, what else? It seems as though Spring Fever has hit students of Hogwarts all around, except, of course, me.

A Life More Ordinary Chapter 1: Ginny Weasley has always wanted to be more normal. She wants to have a boyfriend and stay out of trouble. She has also given up on Harry Potter. Why is he suddenly bothering her so much?

Harry and Draco are stuck under a mistletoe...*literally.* Thanks ``to the twins' mastermind... erm minds... whatever, jokes. Yup it is obviously ``*slash*! ~_^ The original snog boxes found within! Yay!

If a werewolf is human, can he be considered a beast? Does a vampire's desire for blood make her inherently evil? Are hags, hungering for children, cruel? Are these people even human? After all, what is human? Can humanity be granted, taken away, determined, or regulated by the government? Is it subject to the Ministry of Magic's interpretation? A campaign demanding equal rights for all humans makes a stand to change all of this... but some of their supporters' intentions are less pure...

Harry's sixth year is full of everything from Gilderoy Lockhart and his Dueling Club to the shifting loyalties of Blaise Zabini. From pranks to detention, and even a women willing to love a werewolf.

Sirius, James, and Peter seem to think that since I read so much, I should write as well. Something like keeping a journal. So they gave me this. This “nifty, big, red, beautiful book”, according to James. Peter says to make it my life’s work, adding to it as my life progresses. They’re all idiots, but maybe I’m even worse, since I’m here writing in the blasted thing. (This fan fiction is an AU)

Dumbledore gives a end of tem project, all sicth and seventh years are paired off and pretend to be " muggle and married". Ron and Hermione are, of course, paired up. Ron doesn't know how to take the news. Hermione isn't really sure either for that matter.... Harry just thinks it's funny until it forces him to confront his feelings for Ginny. R/Hr, H/G in later chapters.

After an extensive visit to Hogsmeade's new pub, Draco is, well, astonishingly comfortable with waking up next to Pansy. It is Pansy's dark hair which is tickling his nose, isn't it? Isn't it??

Ron has become VERY openly gay and is in love with Harry. Draco & Ginny are dating, Ron is completely flaming, and a surprise visit from Voldemort!!!

Harry seems to have a problem with keeping his hands to himself ... (quirky and cute)

Newlyweds Harry and Hermione are returning from their honeymoon -- a gift from Hermione's muggle parents, complete wtih air transport. On the flight back, one of the most frightening things possible in the sky happens -- a hijacking. But, who is behind the hijacking, and why? Unlikely allies arise to help Harry and Hermione sort this mystery out.

Harry gets the paper and Ron gets confused. Takes place at the Weasleys’ after Draco Malfoy has let a few (dubious!) things slip to the press.