2,721 - 2,740 of 3,594 Stories

Severus Snape is no longer a Hogwarts student, so he's too old for Halloween. Isn't he?

His eyes narrowed. So this is how she wanted to play, eh? Well, he was up for a bit of rough-and-tumble. He could give as good as he took and Draco Malfoy never complained. Ever.

Sirius has a problem he's not sure he wants gotten rid of.

Voldemort is trying to get the nimbus star 3000, that contains the power of the universe. He tries to kill anyone who gets in his way.

What does Snape do when he winds up on a beautiful tropic paradise filled with gorgeous women? Run like hell! This is the land of the Mary Sues.

It's Molly Weasley's birthday tomorrow. Ron is stuck for a gift, so he decides to opt for something a bit different. Join everyone's favourite Weasley (well, ours anyway) on an accidental romp involving far too many oiled Arabic men, with massage and belly dancing... Intriguing, isn't it?!

Oliver Wood goes nuts and the team laughs. He makes one fatal blunder on the Gryffindor name, but George sets him straight. And Harry gets sarcastic.

Having successfully interviewed Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter (regarding their controversial love affair in With a Twist of Lemon), intrepid Witch Weekly reporter Roberta Roberts tracks down Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger for a few words.

Join the students of Hogwarts as some embark on a journey to be the ultimate winner of the Muggle reality show "The Challenge." Who will stand alone in the end and win the million Galleons?

Written for the "What's your OTP" 2006 Valentine's Day challenge. Eloise Midgen worships Petunia Dursley. Personally, I found this an odd topic to write on...

This fic contains nothing really even remotely resembling a plot; it exists only to provide entertainment and make you laugh, which I think it does a good job of.

"When you say 'Sirius' are you talking about Stubby Boardman?"

Jet hosts ChatBack, a talk show. On oday's episode, the Malfoys discuss their problems.

A sequel to Revenge. Physical symptoms aside, the psychical symptoms of PMS are even worse. Especially when people are even less understanding about them. So, Remus and Hermione plan a new revenge list, this time assisted by Ginny. Implied slash SS/SB and RL/KS.

This is a short, cute fic. It is about Dumbledore's allegedly 147th birthday, and provides lots of out-of-canon craziness, lots of fun, and hopefully lots of laughs, too! Enjoy!

Well, what do YOU think would happen if Hermione fell out of a window?

Ever wonder if there were other Voldemort wannabes in the world? What would happen if you put them all in the same room?

Death really does turn out be the next great adventure for Albus Dumbledore. Maybe not quite the one he envisioned, but he had to admit that it was probably his own fault.

The tale of Bob, the Ministry worker with the fire-breathing chicken, and how he got that chicken in a box.

Mr Ron Worthing is in love with Lady Granger, Harry’s Cousin. Mr Harry Potter is in love with Ginny Weasley, Ron’s ward. Both girls are in love with Frank Worthing. But who exactly is Frank?``A parody of Oscar Wilde’s ‘The Importance of Being Earnest.’ Sit back and enjoy the laughs, the romance and the mix-ups that is ‘The Importance of Being… Frank.’

Harry is mysteriously transported away from Hogwarts, and when he returns, who else is there but Lord Voldy himself! Can Harry beat him once and for all, or is the world destined to tooth decay forever? written pre-HBP

Have you ever wondered how the magic wand came to be the quintessential wizarding tool? This is the history of the magic wand. It's written much like Quidditch Through The Ages.

How many of you realise that Monty Python and the Holy Grail has its equivalent story in the Hogwarts universe? I stumbled across an ancient tome, and when I transcibed and translated I found the true story of the French Castle.

Yay! Another "missing scene" fic. This one's from GoF... and it's NOT the scene after the Yule Ball! Another (hopefully) hilarious adventure into the lives of our three favorite teenagers.

The year after their graduation, Harry and "the pals" take a little vacation of their own. One in which there is time traveling, pranks, and revenge. One in which cat fights are frequent, and Draco causes them. One in which Fred and George can't remember who's who. One in which Muggles should be warned... One in which SERIOUS SUCKS!

Set during Goblet of Fire, before Yule Ball. Viktor asks Hermione to the Yule Ball. My version of the kiss scene that will be in the movie.

What would happen if Draco gave the final Quidditch pep talk and told Slytherin to loose? Well this tells just that...almost. Warning: Draco is WAY OOC!!!

What happens when Hogwarts gets the internet? Complete mayhem. Especially as there's a computer for each student, and they have free access to chat clients.... Watch as several students (and maybe even a teacher or two) reveal things about themselves that serve only to embarrass them when they discover who they're talking to. Who knows, maybe even a few secret crushes are being kept hidden....

It's not easy being small, and nobody knows this better than Ron Weasley. Between monsters, brothers, bloody noses and crooked evergreens, Ron's fifth Christmas Eve is sure to be the worst one ever.

Karaoke night in Hogsmeade.

During the 1993/1994 easter term, a team of inspectors from the UK Inspectorate group Ofsted come to inspect Hogwarts. What will they find? Who will they put down? Who will they praise?

It's the Trio's last year at Hogwarts, and something quite unexpected has happened to Ron. All Harry wants is the truth.

Ron is desperate to find the perfect Valentine's gift - but is his father's shed really the best place to look?

After a prank by Lavender and Parvati - yes it's true, more info within - and the help of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Once more with feeling", Snape becomes a TV star. The author is not currently getting psychiatric help. (No HBP spoilers)

The Ministry is having a magic convention in none other than Las Vegas! With Arthur's love of all things Muggle, how will he react when he arrives in Sin City? And how will he ever explain it all to Molly? Remember, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

To the tune of Bowling for Soup's "She's the Girl All the Bad Guys Want."

The uniquely American sport of bronco busting takes on a new flair when a Hippogriff is substituted for the usual bull or horse. Watch various Harry Potter characters take on the griff and see who can stay the distance!``Giddyup, ya'll!

Sirius and Peter discuss James' latest literary work and come to a conclusion. (This will make NO sense unless you've read

“They should have known better… It was happening and no one knew how to stop it.” Seamus starts something one night, something that quickly overtakes the whole school. Will anything ever be the same again?

Something strange is going on at Hogwarts. Something very strange, Harry knows. He thinks it has something to do with Voldemort, but every time he tries voicing his opinions to his friends, they prove quite counterproductive. Pairings include Harry/Snape, Draco/Ginny, Ron/Hermione, Harry/Draco, Harry/Hermione, Harry/Ron plus implied Harry/Ginny, Draco/Hermione, Ron/Draco, Remus/Sirius, Hermione/Snape and Remus/Tonks.

New ruling by the MoM - All young witches and wizards from pure wizard families must take up Muggle Studies (Mandatory subject). Failure to pass this subject, means they fail the entire year and must repeat the next year. Draco gets Hermione as his student counselor for Muggle Studies and she issues him a challenge...

It's April Fool's Day... How many times can you get Malfoy to scream like a girl??

Excerpt: "Eskimo girl, won't you come out tonight, come out tonight, come out tonight?" Ron sang to himself as he made his way outside into the two foot deep snow (and it was still snowing). "Wohoo!" Ron rolled around in the bitter cold for maybe three minutes before he had to come back in to get some more clothes on. "I almost forgot to put on my lucky underwear!" he shouted as he came back in and ran up the Grand Staircase to the Gryffindor Tower...

Poor Draco Malfoy receives temporary amnesia when he meets Potter in the corridor. When Snape comes across him later on, he is in an odd predicament.

Romilda Vane: girly, flippant, and catty. What happens when she needs a favour from Luna Lovegood? Certainly, Romilda never expected to get her come-uppance for tormenting the school's infamous Loony! Set during HBP, and written for the Broken Quill challenge.

A idle conversation between two Death Eaters. Slash warning--precisely what would give away the ending. (Poor Lucius.)

Follow the young Draco Malfoy during his first year at Hogwarts. Follow him through his adventures, through his matchmaking and his cunning slytherin plans. See the year though his eyes, see the things no one else saw because they where to busy looking at that Potter. Warning! Should not be read by sane people. We wrote this only for the sake of our madness, and if you expect just the slightest trace of reason in it, you will be disappointed. You have been warned.

Ron finally loses at chess, and against a most unusual opponent.

This is my take on how the FINAL showdown between our hero Harry and that evil serpent Voldemort will happen! I've been told it's funny... but then again, I'm justifiably insane, so don't hold anything you read against me!

Crazy random things! In the form of a note-to-self tape, this 'day in the life' extends to really encompasing all of Hedwig's deepest and darkest moments. Overall, a touching story, and a real tear jerker. Damn pigeons...

It's Hermione's birthday and she has got some really thoughtful gifts - or so she thinks! Soon, the gifts show their true colors and, well, you've got to read the rest!

Sirius drops in to visit Harry. They talk about a lot of random stuff, from Muggle television to anime to Being Gay. This is a good example of why never to obey the impulse to jump up and scribble down half-dreams at three a.m.

Peeves the Poltergeist gives us a brief history and explanation about who he is, and why he does his job so well.

Hermione gives Ron an enchanted alarm clock to get him up to study. But that boy could sleep through anything! Just a some silliness and a hint of R/H.

Insane version of MWPP, set entirely in the wrong time line. Not to be taken cereal (seriously), or with medication.``Prepare to meet: Loony Loppy Lupin, Peteranna, Cereal and Antler-boy!

Malfoy hexed Ron: now he's obsessive-compulsive. How will Harry and Hermione resolve the problem? Button fixing, making faces in food, and book-straightening. Idea primarily from Monk, on USA. (TV show)

Dudley enjoys a nice hot dog, when someone comes along to put a claim on his lunch.... Short and silly.

Ever seen Charlie and the Chocolate Factory? Well, if you have you know how it ended. If it really had an end. Because the story does continue. In Harry Potter style.

Draco's parents call him down to the drawing room one afternoon in August for a "chat," and he grudgingly obliges, unaware that this is one afternoon that will turn out like no other...

Harry Potter discovers the world of electronics--and fandom!! Watch while he slowly becomes a FictionAlley addict! (once the author regains some semblance of sanity).

What happens when Harry, Ron, and Hermione go to a Muggle high school? In America at that! Will Ron ever figure out how to act in front of the Muggles? Will they survive their first math class?

In their work for the Order of the Phoenix, Snape and Sirius must confront their deepest fear... together.

Sirius wants a holiday in the wilderness, and Dung manages to borrow a cottage deep inside the forests of northern Sweden. Will the two friends manage to stay there alone for three days without killing each other? Not likely - so they decide to spend Friday night in the nearby village.

It may not be Christmas Day, yet the reaction of everyone's least favourite Potions professor isn't any less "Bah Humbug." Severus Snape is determined to avoid attention this Valentine's Day, yet a certain someone is as least as determined to bestow it upon him. What is the identity of his secret admirer? Set during Harry Potter's second year.

The Abduction of the Seraglio, starring Harry and Draco. AU - well, sort of.

This begins as a kindly intended parody of the “late night snack” variety of light romance. As such, Harry and Hermione initially will be OOC, a rascal and a shrew respectively, but a very happy romantic ending will result. Special warnings both for sexual/anatomical innuendo and to food fetishists; sorry, the pumpkin pie and whipped cream will be eaten only, with ordinary utensils, and will not be worn!

Blaise isn’t like the other seven-year-old boys Draco knows. Blaise has pink arm bands, whereas Ron and Vincent and Gregory and Draco all have orange ones, but what sort of boy is Blaise like?

Last time we saw our hero, he was falling behind the veil. The question that is on everybody’s lips is: Where is he now? Petunia Dursley doesn’t care; all she wants is some apricot jam.

What happens when Gilderoy Lockhart overhears two guards at St. Mungo's talking about human cloning? He finds a solution to the problem that has plagued him his whole life (even though he only remembers the past two years). Rated PG for a smoochy. L/L (Lockhart/Lockhart) Remember - Elevator Music is Sexy!

Harry is leaving. Draco is on a mission to find out why everyone keeps dumping him. No, it isn't a midlife crisis thing. Probably. Maybe. He's barely thirty, anyway. There's a lot of music, too. And some random store clerks. This is a three-part story.

Fred and George's Hogwarts years, from their very first trip to Diagon Alley to their infamous final flight from Hogwarts, and everything in between.

Ron, discovers his calling in life, to become a Bard. After he sings to Hermione, countless times, she begins to have a twitchy eye.

Harry and the gang go to a press conference of Gilderoy Lockhart. ``What's that? He's dead?? GILDEROY LOCKHART IS DEAD? Oh, no! What's a witch to ``do?

Yet again, Dumbledore's got to hire a Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. This candidate seems... exceptionally underqualified, and yet he's got something unique. A Discworld crossover.

Percy is understandably leery at the prospect of a bachelor party planned by George. The latest of the Weasley brothers to marry, Percy asks them all a question burning in his mind during a serious moment: how did you know she was "the one"? A one-shot companion to George & Annie: an Unofficial Biography. George/OC, all other ships canon compliant.

The songs parodied in the work are the property of Tom Lehrer, a writer of humorous songs that have entertained for over a half-century.

Professor Snape has a problem class... If other teachers could be as lucky!

Harry must face man's greatest horror . . . purchasing feminine products! Will he get home to Hermione in time? More importantly, will he even get back? Trust me, men, it's not for the faint of heart. Very slight H/Hr ``near the end. Sequel to That Time of Month.

A guide discovered in the library of Malfoy Manor, not that any Malfoy would be caught dead actually reading it...

Your typical stupid, plotless, fluffy, sappy fanfic complete with your American-exchange student, the OC that seduces Harry Potter, and a blissfully happy ending. Harry/OC.

If you enjoy crazy stories of gerbils, you'll love this one. Draco gets a gerbil... or two... or a bunch!

While it\'s very interesting that Harry, Ron, and Hermione are taking off to hunt down Horcruxes, Jimmy Peakes, Ritchie Coote, and Demelza Robins are a bit more concerned with the state of their Quidditch team. After all, without a Seeker and a Keeper, how will they ever win the Quidditch Cup? As they discuss potential replacements, their conversation takes some interesting turns.

Severus goes too far and Remus decides to help his friends bid Snape one last fond farewell. WARNING! EXTREME AMOUNTS OF FLUFF AHEAD!

It's soon to be Sirius' birthday, the others are throwing him a surprise party. Can they pull it off without him finding out? Can they humiliate Snape in the process? Can white paint ever really come out of robes? Find out the answer to most of these here!

Sirius has the inside track to the Hogwarts grapevine thanks to Harry.

There are killer toilets running amuck. Can they be stopped?

After a nasty fall, Harry is stricken with amnesia. Now it's a race against the clock as Harry struggles to regain his memories before Lord Voldemort can take advantage of his vulnerability. (Response to the Multifandom Soap Opera Cliche Challenge.)

What do Harry and his friends actually DO while they're waiting for us to put them into our stories? And how do they feel about US? A behind-the-scenes glimpse of our favorite characters. **** Pairings: nearly everyone, at one point or another.

Extra! Extra! Read All About It! Rita Skeeter, gossip queen extraordinaire.

Welcome to the World of Courtney Carson, a pessimistic fifth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. After following the terrible trio as an extracurricular activity for four years, Courtney admits she's taking a liking for the famous Harry Potter. Things can't get any worse when she faces one embarassing situation after another, Harry is in steady relationship with her worst enemy, she gets into a row with her best friend, and someone unexpected asks her out.

Redneck Wizards are alive and well in the American South. Learn to identify them from a safe distance for your own protection!

Ron comes across his old dress robes while rummaging around in his trunk. A debate ensues as to how he actually got them and just who is this Nigel kid?

Ron's had an awful summer. He keeps waking up in his front yard and has no idea why. Can Harry and Hermione help figure out what's been happening to him?

That was a really wild party.... Ginny Weasley goes to a birthday party for one of her good friends, simply for something to do. Based on a true story.

A mysterious flu has taken over Hogwarts, and Remus dives right into the fever.

A very funny and senseless fic with two original characters. Very cliched. Rated PG-13 for a few swear words.

Harry must destroy the last of the Horcruxes. This one is the most horrible of them all. It's... it's... it's a cheese cracker? ``Anyway, can Harry destroy the evil cheese cracker? Not without the help of the Siamese Weasels, a hobo, an axe-ridden maniac, his forty-year-old son, and several others! ``This won't make any sense if you haven't read "Happiness Is Just a Daddy Away!" Then again, it won't make much sense, anyway....

A loose sequel to Girls Just Want To Have Fun, this little Seinfeldesque episode finds the girls trying to blend in during their vacation in the Big Apple...

It all started one night, when a walk along the grounds of Hogwarts led him to unexpected truths. HP/DM

Fred and George go a bit overboard in their pranks, and seem to have angered EVERYBODY, including the ghosts! How will they get paid back for their over-the-top pranks? Tune in to find out!