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Possibly the world's first Penelope/Lockhart fic. A celebrity infatuation turns into something not quite so one-sided when placed in a classroom situation...

Words: 646
Chapters: 1
Hits: 3,153
Far Too Personal by Icarus
12/15/2003

"'Student, tall, beater's build...' Okay, maybe not quite beater's build, but he was close enough." Ron Weasley places a personal ad and lies shamelessly about himself and his assets. Unfortunately, his date did the same.

Words: 2,770
Chapters: 1
Hits: 3,149

Ah, the famous adventures of James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter! Written just because I'd always wondered about that myself, and this answer--which I'm pretty sure I came up with on my own--amused me. Features Randy!James, NotAnIdiot!Peter, Studious!Sirius, and and a NotAMarySue!Original Character.

Words: 9,525
Chapters: 5
Hits: 3,140
Pretense by pittsy
03/21/2004

Set ten years after they've left Hogwarts. Why have Harry and Ron fallen out? Harry has a new best friend in Ginny. Why does Harry go from one meaningless relationship to the next? Is there something more to their friendship?

Words: 10,954
Chapters: 5
Hits: 3,125

Lily Evans had big plans for her seventh year. She was going to be one of the best Head Girls ever, she was going to whip the prefects into shape, she was going to ace all her NEWTs, and she was not going to let James Potter get to her. (Because he didn't. He had no effect on her whatsoever. Honestly. None at all.) So why aren't things working out to plan?

Words: 11,139
Chapters: 3
Hits: 3,123

It's Harry's seventh year, and Fred and George get the Gryffindors together for a game of Truth or Dare.

Words: 1,333
Chapters: 1
Hits: 3,118
So What Now? by silverphoenix
12/19/2002

Sequel to The Matchmakers. Now that they're finally a couple, life seems perfect. But it isn't. Of course it isn't - this is Hogwarts, after all. H/Hr, R/L, Draco angst and more matchmaking all included.

Words: 7,556
Chapters: 4
Hits: 3,116

Someone 'up there' (think Heavenwards) decides to give Hogwarts a look-in and wackiness ensues. Harry and Ron are trying to deal with being in fifth year as best they can, when their quiet start to the year is disrupted in a very... fiery way and things look to get everso slightly barking as the story continues.

Words: 6,628
Chapters: 4
Hits: 3,109

Dumbledore's kidnapped the gang! And he's making them compete in a singing competition! What songs will people pick? Who will break up, or hook up? Most importantly, who will win the contest?

Words: 2,176
Chapters: 3
Hits: 3,108

A fun place to chat away from Hogwarts, even with a court room for those not so fun moments...

Words: 1,326
Chapters: 2
Hits: 3,105

An explosion in the Potions classroom leaves behind a raving Potions Master, a bloody Draco, and a certain redhead we all love having a moment of altruistic weakness. Since kindness makes our favourite white ferret suspicious and a bit snarky, Ginny decides to put some rather embarrassing information about Draco to good use. Ahh, nothing like one-upsmanship to kindle a little romance. D/G, of course, but it mentions various other pairings (teenagers plus hormones = ... c'mon, what do you expect?!).

Words: 16,365
Chapters: 8
Hits: 3,104

Draco has lost Hermione in Hogsmeade... and is having the not-so-time-of-his-life finding her!

Words: 612
Chapters: 1
Hits: 3,104

A look into the life of Voldy's pet snake, Nagini.

Words: 7,439
Chapters: 7
Hits: 3,103

Gryffindor common room in the autumn of sixth year: Peter is upset about a recent breakup with his girlfriend. James has been looking for an excuse to break out his illegally-procured bottle of firewhiskey. Remus tries to be the voice of reason. Sirius acts like... well, like Sirius.

Words: 1,792
Chapters: 1
Hits: 3,099
Desk Job by Pedestrial Trink
11/10/2003

Draco Malfoy is twenty years old, single and unemployed. When he’s forced to move out of the Manor and get a job, Draco signs up with the Ministry and creates his own hell. Misery loves company, and Draco Malfoy is inviting everyone in for a drink.

Words: 13,271
Chapters: 4
Hits: 3,098

On Harry's 15th birthday someone shows up at the Dursley's house to take Harry away. They tell him that he is no longer safe at number 4 Privet Drive. Then when Harry returns to Hogwarts there is a new student in the fifth year. But is this new student really who they seem? And are Snape and Harry really as different as they think? Find out!

Words: 3,799
Chapters: 4
Hits: 3,090

Unrequited love can do funny things to a witch... or to a wizard. Tonks and Merope weren\'t the only ones to have trouble with their powers- in 1976, James Potter had his own problems as well. Contains het, two paragraphs of slash, and reference to bodice ripper novels.

Words: 4,691
Chapters: 1
Hits: 3,088
Slumber Party by Casca
06/14/2002

Fifth year, the Gryffindor wizards and witches make the night before the Leaving Feast a one to remember!

Words: 3,036
Chapters: 1
Hits: 3,082

Hermione and Fred had a raging fire bloom between them years before, but when the spark lights again, will they be willing to kindle it?

Words: 5,822
Chapters: 5
Hits: 3,081
Point of View by Lady Keala
01/11/2004

There's going to be a ball at Hogwarts and everyone's excited... especially Cho. Is she really that sweet? Or does she have some scheme up her sleeve? Each chapter is written in the point of view of a different character.

Words: 7,491
Chapters: 7
Hits: 3,079

Are you sailing the S.S. Guns & Handcuffs, and has your boggart been assuming the shape of a white-blond corpse ever since HBP was announced? In this case, here's something to ease your mind....

Words: 1,282
Chapters: 1
Hits: 3,077

Take James Potter: Quidditch extraordinaire, dashing, handsome, and something of a jerk. Now, do yourself a favor and enter Lily Evans, a sweet girl with an attitude... A story of courtship gone wrong with fibs, fluff, and all-around fun. Excerpt:``"James put down the cushion he'd beaned Sirius over the head with. 'Sirius, the whole point of Evans is that she's not like all the other girls. She's--she's perfect. And there's no way she's falling for me if I just carry her books around for her.' He looked at Sirius flatly.`` Unconcerned, Sirius put his feet up on the table between them and grinned that daredevil smile of his (the one that melted an average of five girls every day.) 'Who says you're just going to carry her books for her?'

Words: 6,930
Chapters: 5
Hits: 3,077

Draco Malfoy, in his third year at Hogwarts, sets out to discover what shape his boggart shifts into. When he he does, he decides to make the most of it... and satisfy his craving for Harry. Slash

Words: 1,520
Chapters: 1
Hits: 3,075

What happens when Snape has to teach a drama class? What happens when Ginny falls for a boy other than Harry? What happens when Hermione realizes her own feelings? Read and discover, or something.

Words: 2,411
Chapters: 2
Hits: 3,074
Open Season by Alvira
01/16/2005

Disaster lies in wait for the unsuspecting. Harry encounters a series of confusing events which lead him to one person: Draco Malfoy. Unfortunately, Draco is as befuddled as he is...featuring a cast of thousands who are all in the know, and two boys who most emphatically are not. (Slash warning.)

Words: 10,170
Chapters: 1
Hits: 3,073

Dumbledore came up with a plan to help the seventh years prepare for marriage. Hermione thought this was going to be great, but when the sorting hat got to her name and shouted "SEVERUS SNAPE," she wasn't so sure.

Words: 4,236
Chapters: 3
Hits: 3,071

Whoops! Harry has managed to land in Fan Fiction land. The slash version no less...

Words: 2,206
Chapters: 1
Hits: 3,069

The adventures of the next generation of the Potter/Weasley clan at Hogwarts.

Words: 10,334
Chapters: 3
Hits: 3,042

What would happen if the Marauders were stuck in a room together? Will James go mad? Or has he already? And what is it with Sirius and Duck-Duck-Goose?

Words: 546
Chapters: 1
Hits: 3,036

Lily and James, rivals-extraordinaire, receive a peculiar bit of news (to downplay it just a bit) after a dangerous encounter. Harry and Ginny, casual acqaintances, get the same piece of news during his seventh year. They uncover the truth about Lily and James, and find out why everything happened like it did. And they have to work together to bring about the unthinkable, while going through the most emotionally-tolling experience ever concieved by man. Can two barely-friends become comfortable around each other for the sake of their loved ones? Will Sirius ever grow up? When will Harry and Ginny both stop trying to be so noble? Why did Dumbledore even show them that stupid green thing to begin with? Set in two time periods.

Words: 24,958
Chapters: 4
Hits: 3,033
Pumpernickel by Gwyn Granger
06/24/2004

When her eyes reached the edge of the forest, they fell upon the white stag in her dreams and the enormous black dog walking on either side of a ... werewolf?! A James/Lily fic - obviously MWPP era. My version of how the legend really begins. Sweetness abounds, along with comic relief. :)

Words: 29,244
Chapters: 6
Hits: 3,027
Unmistakable by Mr.Intel
08/01/2004

A bet, a prank, and a detention mark a year in which Harry fumbles his way into Ginny's arms. Three part fic written for the H/G fic-a-fest on LiveJournal.

Words: 9,901
Chapters: 3
Hits: 3,027

Jacqui Potter has lived away from her brother since her parents' unforunate death. In a day's time, the twins are reunited, and neither are surprised. When three people come back to life, they're in shock. Cedric Diggory/OC HP/GW, HG/VK

Words: 9,225
Chapters: 3
Hits: 3,024

Sirius discovers some very interesting things about Remus Lupin's kissing history while at Hogwarts. Hilarity ensues! Written entirely in dialogue.

Words: 1,233
Chapters: 1
Hits: 3,017

Half a generation after Voldemort's defeat, an ordinary teenaged girl decides to become an Animagus. Things don't quite go as she planned.

Words: 9,736
Chapters: 1
Hits: 3,012

Harry and Draco partaking in a game of strip poker? Draco taking a nude walk around Hogwarts? Perverted portraits? Not in a million years! And what sight is too evil even for the Dark Lord?

Words: 2,681
Chapters: 1
Hits: 3,008

Sirius reaches into his bag and pulls out a piece of parchment. He writes a quick message, folds the parchment up into a paper airplane, and throws it at James. It hits him right in the ear, and James in turn, sits straight up. Rubbing his ear and glaring at Sirius, he replies…

Words: 5,333
Chapters: 5
Hits: 3,007
Easier Said... by Dommichan
11/27/2002

What happens when Hermione wants to date someone other than Harry or Ron? Total chaos, that's what.

Words: 7,718
Chapters: 1
Hits: 3,006

Millicent calls their flat a commune, and most nights Hermione sleeps with Blaise. AU.

Words: 5,825
Chapters: 1
Hits: 3,003

What happens when Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, and Hermione Granger see the Harry Potter merchandise at a Muggle toy store...

Words: 1,019
Chapters: 1
Hits: 3,001

When Percy comes to teach at Hogwarts, Hermione begins to get nervous. The reason? She's been harbouring feelings for him since her third year. What will happen when Hermione gets private lessons with the object of her desires?

Words: 3,753
Chapters: 3
Hits: 2,997

Harry and Hermione make a getaway to a broom closet for some privacy, but they're soon joined by some unexpected guests...

Words: 1,382
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,996

Pansy loves Draco. Draco hates Pansy and Harry. Harry hates Draco and Pansy. What happens when they all meet in the hallway? With one action, Draco brings along a whole chain of events that nobody ever expected, but sometimes, those events can lead to something unforgettable. Harry/Draco slash!

Words: 9,449
Chapters: 2
Hits: 2,979

A secret holiday gift precipitates fierce snogging and fiercer confusion. (Harry/Draco slash, with a bit of Ron/Hermione)

Words: 8,423
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,978

For centuries, this book has been handed down to the eldest male Malfoy on his eighth birthday. It is The Malfoy Code of Conduct.

Words: 1,063
Chapters: 2
Hits: 2,978

Percy Weasley lay sleeping on his desk at the Ministry of Magic, exhausted from working all day, everyday, and well into the night, for two months straight. He slept mouth open, dripping drool onto the parchment under his cheek. A mortally sharp Quill point protruded beneath his head, dangerously close to piercing his ear lobe. He wore his glasses skewed across his forehead as though he were a Cyclops in need of a lens for viewing with his third eye.

Words: 39,713
Chapters: 9
Hits: 2,968

Two former DeathEater spies must help the side of good stay one step ahead of Lord Voldemort in a plot to kill several influential Muggles before he can kill them. Did I mention one is slightly off her nut?

Words: 11,389
Chapters: 8
Hits: 2,967

Ron's floating naked, Hermione has detention, and with Malfoy... anything could happen!

Words: 5,075
Chapters: 8
Hits: 2,958

In which Ginny is captured by a certain Malfoy in a dark Hogwarts corridor, but really it's all about the sunglasses. Features magazinestealing!Draco and angry!Ginny. G/D

Words: 1,040
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,956

In which a naive Harry is taught what 'Gay-dar' is in a seedy part of Diagon Alley, "I'm drawing too much attention." A more worldly Ron Is Very Amused.

Words: 572
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,955

Based on the well known fairy tale "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs", here's the twisted version of Princess Harry, Queen Voldemort, and the Seven Weasleys (or dwarfs?).

Words: 4,990
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,951

When the Goddess Athena chose to be born as a human girl, she never ``guessed her enemies among her fellow Gods were moving to block her power and destroy her. ``Fifteen years later, a human witch named Hermione Granger reawakens to her true identity ``- to find herself in more danger than she thought possible! Hermione Athena's one ``defense - and hope - lies in finding her five reborn Knights before her enemies do. But ``nobody ever said they'd be on her side....

Words: 13,113
Chapters: 4
Hits: 2,934

Rose, while on vacation with her friends, runs into Scorpius. They discuss an incident that took place after a particularly "heated" Quidditch match, and try to figure out "what happens next".

Words: 5,142
Chapters: 5
Hits: 2,929

Draco can't sleep. Harry's too drunk to stand. So begins a tale of confusion and delightful temptations with only one question to answer: "Did you kiss me last night?"

Words: 2,798
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,925
The Big Match by cosmic_llin
03/11/2006

Professor Dumbledore thinks that a Quidditch match against their teachers is just the thing to encourage pupils from different houses to bond. Professor McGonagall isn't convinced, Madam Hooch is tearing her hair out, and certain people won't be pleased when the team list goes up...

Words: 6,018
Chapters: 3
Hits: 2,924

What happens when an American student transfers to Hogwarts? All hell breaks loose!

Words: 47,437
Chapters: 4
Hits: 2,909

The start of Hermione's year at Hogwarts tumbled down as Ron Weasley stated he wasn't surprised she didn't have any friends. But, as a unique Slytherin manages to raise her self-esteem and befriend her, Hermione becomes the wonderful Gryffindor we know in canon. Her past reflects on her future, and her friends reflect in herself. A Marcus/Hermione story.

Words: 2,322
Chapters: 2
Hits: 2,908

"The new Minister was mad." Perhaps. He was certainly bent on forcing political opponents from the late war into trial marriages, including Lucius Malfoy and Harry Potter. With Rita Skeeter as dispassionate observer.

Words: 4,487
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,905

Three things in life are unavoidable: birth, death, and taxes. The taxman cometh. Have the Weasley twins finally met their match?

Words: 12,303
Chapters: 11
Hits: 2,904

Harry and Draco decide to have a quick snog in the bushes before Herbology class. Draco's hair gel gets involved and pretty soon chaos ensues! Hermione must save the day... Again.

Words: 1,784
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,902
Que Sera Sera by Tearsofblood
08/23/2005

Harry is stuck at Privet Drive, and cannot think of anyone to write to. There is no one who would accept the wilder, more eccentric part of his nature, except one. He wonders why he had not thought of writing to her before... "Dear Luna..."

Words: 5,249
Chapters: 5
Hits: 2,902

Ron and Hermione are finally getting married, but what's a wedding without some good ol' fashioned Weasley mayhem?

Words: 1,014
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,895

Tonks embarks on a mission to cheer Remus up...but is that what she really wants?

Words: 6,225
Chapters: 3
Hits: 2,873

When McGonagall gave the dancing lesson to the Gryffindors in the GoF movie, what were Snape and the Slytherins doing at the same time?

Words: 1,018
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,872

Draco is tired of Harry annoying him all the time, so what does he do? Develop a plan to bring the Gryffindor into his bed, of course! How could Harry ever resist the power of badges?

Words: 1,600
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,869

Ron and Hermione are minding their own business when they run into each other in the hallway...and end up waking up in each other's bodies! Can they survive as the opposite sex, tell each other their feelings, and get their own bodies back?

Words: 2,096
Chapters: 3
Hits: 2,866
Knock Knock by michelle_31a
06/17/2004

Harry tries to tell a 'knock-knock' joke to Luna -- 'tries' being the operative word!

Words: 791
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,865

Eight people receive an invitation to go to the Room of Requirement for a book-reading! Only they don't know that it is one, or which book it is!

Words: 24,789
Chapters: 3
Hits: 2,860

A voice inside Harry’s head told him that this was something he most definitely would NOT do sober, that he should stop, tell Hermione she was being ridiculous, that Ron was just his friend, and anyway, he didn’t like boys that way.

Words: 2,108
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,860
Karaoke Fever by Allykat
09/27/2002

Albus Dumbledore loves karaoke. So, he stages a contest at Hogwarts for it. The winner gets 100 Galleons. Who will win?

Words: 1,740
Chapters: 3
Hits: 2,854

Be with Lord Voldemort as he faces Hell on Earth in the form of three teenage witches.

Words: 8,299
Chapters: 4
Hits: 2,850

"That abominable, know-it-all, affront to all that is pure and magical . . . was a sweat inducing, force to be reckoned with." Draco Malfoy had become unhinged--all on account of one, Hermione Granger. Never mind his complete lack of affection for her . . .

Words: 12,484
Chapters: 5
Hits: 2,842
RoomMates by Rosaline Twinkie
07/31/2002

Oh no! Hermione and Draco are forced to live together in a Muggle house for a school project! What is going to become of them?! Disasters, chaos, and plushy furniture all play a part in this interesting fic!

Words: 5,029
Chapters: 2
Hits: 2,841
A Moment Like This by Nicole
05/01/2003

A sequel of sorts to Something Like You, in which a ball, boyfriends, inter-house relations, etc. take place.

Words: 6,056
Chapters: 2
Hits: 2,837
Hostile Takeover by Meddow
06/08/2006

Tonks takes on the Chocolate Frog Company. All in the name of love, mind you.

Words: 995
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,835
The Step by RonHermioneStory
07/01/2003

I, Ron Weasley, certainly have sometimes wished that the dark times of Voldemort's power could have never happened, but thanks to Voldemort, a forgotten wand, and a trick step, my life took an unexpected turn...

Words: 4,104
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,834
Pink by AbstractConcept
07/09/2005

Harry is determined to learn the Animagus Transformation, and the results are…unexpected. A humorous Snarry.

Words: 7,467
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,832

What's it like, being Viktor Krum? You're the youngest Seeker ever to compete in the World Cup, you're entering your last year of school, and you're likely to be chosen as Durmstrang Champion. Idolized and adored by fanboys and fangirls everywhere, you've got it all, right? Wrong. All poor Viktor wants is to keep his head down, do his job, be left alone, and maybe, just maybe, to suck up the courage to talk to that bookish, bushy-haired girl that he keeps seeing in the library. But you see, there's the problem of these giggling girls and the fan mail they keep sending him... Taking a wonderful plot bunny from the L.O.F.F Guild and inspiration from The Trouble With Tribbles. One shot by the author of Past Present on Astronomy Tower.

Words: 10,884
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,829

It's the seventh and final year for Hogwarts' favorite marauders - Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew, and James Potter. Peter seems to be hiding more than one would know, and the power of the dark rises. Although evil leaks into every corner of the haunted castle, dungbombs and exploding lizards line the halls, showering the students with fun, hope, dung, and lizards. Detentions, pranks, and friendship galore!

Words: 16,861
Chapters: 4
Hits: 2,828

Luna Lovegood tries to play cupid on Valentine's Day but ends up getting the tables turned...

Words: 3,319
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,821

Four mini-fics! Each a parody of the proposed "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix."

Words: 5,940
Chapters: 5
Hits: 2,819

Alicia dreams, Angelina screams and Fred and George are, well, Fred and George. The Fourway tradition continues with an entirely different cast.

Words: 8,495
Chapters: 4
Hits: 2,816
The Bachelor/et by Alia
02/24/2004

Children and adults alike are being paired up in the world of Fan fiction. But who has to most choices? Is it Draco? Is it Harry? Find out this and more!

Words: 2,283
Chapters: 3
Hits: 2,814

Nymphadora Tonks gets talked into teaching night school. Little does she know that her students will include an Eastern European refugee who apparently wants a sex change, Neville Longbottom's formidable grandmother, and Grawp. And just when things are settling down, Ron gets viciously attacked by a wereflamingo, a.k.a. Severus Snape.

Words: 2,654
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,814

James visits Sirius and his slightly mad family over his sixth year Christmas holiday. Panic, terror, and chaos ensue. Lily and Remus are tossed into the jumble and even Peter makes a cameo. Humour, insanity, Quidditch, Lily/James fluff, and quite a few Sirius moments.

Words: 27,287
Chapters: 6
Hits: 2,812

Nothing special here, unless you count the fact that Draco wears a tiara and Harry sings! Oh yeah, and he dies, too! And he comes back, too! And then Draco sings! And you can't forget the aliens! And some other stuff will randomly be thrown in there. You just can't tell with this sorta thing! AHA! Let the insanity begin!

Words: 7,762
Chapters: 7
Hits: 2,811

While he's stuck in St. Mungo's on Christmas Day, Mr. Weasley gets plenty of visitors on -- but his werewolf-bitten roommate has no visitors at all. That is, until Remus Lupin decides to have a chat with him.

Words: 2,044
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,809

An ancient god is dead and two of the greatest wizarding families of the world are waging war. This, of course, spells disaster and the end of the ``world as we know it. Thus, our story brings us to Harry Potter and a few extra unlikely heroes who set off on a mission to restore peace, uncover a mystery, and change fate. Along the way, hormones rage, jealousy ensues, we meet a creature named Nippel, and get a little taste of Norse mythology.

Words: 10,932
Chapters: 3
Hits: 2,794

Being a Death Eater can be a stressful career at the best of times. And so, Voldemort has produced this helpful guide to instruct novice minions. Includes Death Eater rules, dress code, and anthem. Be alarmed. Be very alarmed.

Words: 1,782
Chapters: 1
Hits: 2,788

Lily gets bored during History of Magic, and what ensues is the best prank ever!

Words: 1,413
Chapters: 2
Hits: 2,785