The Step

The years after Voldemort's return were dark times. Harry, Hermione, and I tried to simply act normal, but underneath we were afraid. Very afraid. Everyone was, especially Harry. He tried his best to act like everything was just fine, but he didn't laugh as much, or joke as much. None of us did.

So many people already had ruined families because of Voldemort. Ruined lives. I kept thinking,"What if that happens to my family? What if that happens to the family of someone I know?" I guess everyone in the wizarding world was thinking that. We became terrified to read the news. What if the name of someone we knew was listed with the people killed that day? What would you do if you were just going on minding your own business and getting on with your life when all of a sudden it all just fell apart?

Many of us stopped reading the news. It was just too depressing. We didn't want to think about it. We knew how horrible everything was, but it's a part of human nature that we think: If I just ignore my problems, maybe they'll go away. Of course, it doesn't work that way at all.

Everyone, including me, wishes that those dark times could have never happened; that one day we could just wake up and find that it had all been a dream. I'm no different. However, when I think about it, if those dark times had never happened, things might not have turned out the way they did. If those dark times had never happened, my life now, about two years after my graduation from Hogwarts, could have ended up not being near as happy.

It was near the end of our last year at Hogwarts, Harry and Hermione and me. Things were about as bad as they could get. We were going to have to evacuate. Leave Hogwarts. Abandon Hogwarts! I couldn't believe it. I always thought that no matter how bad things got, Hogwarts would always be safe.

Hermione and I had just had an argument. She was so angry she yelled that she hated me, and I was so angry that I told her I hated her right back.

It sounds stupid, but I don't even remember what the argument was about.

The teachers were all setting up portkeys. We were all going to leave in small groups, taking the portkeys to some secret location. It was so secret they didn't even tell us where we were going.

Dumbledore wanted Harry and Hermione and I to leave with the very first group. Thought it was safest, he said. I don't blame him. However, Harry asked if we could stay at the castle for a while. Said he wasn't sure if he'd ever see it again, and since it was like home to him, he wanted to stay there as long as possible. Dumbledore gave in and said we could leave with one of the last groups.

"So what are we going to do during our last hours here at Hogwarts?" I asked Harry, rather sadly.

"I want to walk around...go everywhere," Harry told me. "It's like...It's almost like saying goodbye to a friend you might never see again."

I nodded, understanding, and agreed to "say goodbye" to the various places of the castle where we had lived, worked, and had adventures for seven years. I knew that I was going to miss that old castle, too.

"I'm going to the library," said Hermione.

I rolled my eyes. "Can you imagine?" I said to Harry. "Only a few hours left in good old Hogwarts, and she spends them in the library."

Harry didn't reply to my comment. "Where should we start?" he said simply.

That old castle holds so many memories...Every room; every part of the grounds we went to was full of them. Harry and I swapped them as we thought about them. Some made us shudder. Some made us cringe. Many made us laugh.

I enjoyed going over all of those memories with Harry, but from the start I felt that there was something missing. I soon knew what it was. Hermione was a part of all those memories, and she wasn't there to share her views on them. She really should have been there with us. But she wasn't. She wasn't, all because I had started some stupid argument. I regretted that dumb argument a lot then, feeling like a total git, but I didn't go to the library and tell her I was sorry; tell her to come share the memories with us. I didn't think she would forgive me that quickly.

Then, with every part of the castle we went to, it wasn't memories of good jokes that came to me. It wasn't memories of adventures. It was memories of Hermione.

We went to the common room. I remembered all of the times Hermione had stayed up late at night studying, open books and notes everywhere. I remembered the time I threw three ginger cat hairs on those notes, screaming about Crookshanks killing Scabbers, as I thought he had. I remembered all the times Hermione had helped us with our own studies, and how we probably would have flunked without her help, or at least only barely passed.

I remembered the blazing row Hermione and I had had in the common room after the Yule Ball; how her face turned red and her hair starting falling down from her bun and around her face as she yelled at me. I remembered many other, smaller arguments we had had in the common room, the number too large to count.

"Ron?" said Harry when he noticed that I was no longer responding much. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine," I said, still lost in the memories, barely hearing him. My tone and manner obviously weren't very convincing, because Harry didn't look convinced that I was fine. He said nothing more there in the common room, though.

When we went to Professor Flitwick's classroom, I remembered that class there on Halloween in our first year. It seemed so long ago, but I remembered it very clearly. That I-told-you-so look on Hermione's face as she levitated the feather. How disgusted I was. How I said how horrible she was...

"It's le-vi-o-sa, not le-vi-o-sa! She's a nightmare, honestly!"

"I think she heard you."

"So? She probably noticed she's got no friends."

We passed the girl's bathroom, and I remembered how I had knocked out that troll using that very spell, and how Hermione lied to McGonagall, and how she was friends with me after that.

We passed the hospital wing, and I remembered when Hermione had been in there looking like a cat. I grinned. Then I remembered when she had been Petrified later, and how horrible I felt. How much I missed her. I remembered we both beamed when she came to the Great Hall after being de-petrified. Both. Just Hermione and I. Harry had been there too, of course, but strangely, Harry had disappeared from all the memories. I wasn't remembering Harry at all. I was just remembering Hermione.

Suddenly I wasn't just remembering anymore. I was thinking about Hermione as she was in the present. She had lightened up and wasn't as extremely strict about following rules anymore. I wondered how she had changed over the years besides that; wondered why I was suddenly thinking about her so much. What was different about her? I couldn't find an answer to that question. I didn't think then, though I know now, that Hermione hadn't changed much at all; that I had changed.

"Seriously, Ron...What's the matter?" Harry asked me again.

"Nothing," I said. "Nothing at all."

I was glad Harry didn't ask any questions, because I would have had no idea what to tell him, really. Something was wrong, but I didn't know what. I didn't know how to explain what I was feeling then.

"Harry. Ron. Hermione. The last group will be leaving soon," said Dumbledore's magically magnified voice.

"We better head back to the Great Hall," said Harry, still looking at me searchingly.

"Right," I agreed. Just then I remembered something. The night before, I had put my wand under my pillow. That may sound weird, but I somehow felt safer with it there, though I doubted that I'd actually be able to stop Death Eaters if any somehow got into the dormitory. I had forgotten my wand. A wizard cannot feel very secure when he is without his wand in times like that.

"Go on without me," I told Harry. "I have to get something quick."

Harry started to open his mouth, but I stopped him.

"Just go," I said. "This won't take long. I'll be right down there."

"All right," said Harry. "Just hurry up." He started to head for the Great Hall.

I hurried to Gryffindor Tower, running as fast as my legs could carry me.

I was so intent on running that I forgot to jump a trick step on a staircase, and suddenly when I put a foot in front of me there was nothing there. I sank right into the middle of it.

I struggled, sinking lower. "Harry?" I called. "Hermione?"

No answer.

I called again, louder. "Harry? Hermione? Anybody?" My shouts echoed in the almost empty castle, bouncing off of the stone walls.

No answer again. There were obviously no people close enough to hear me.

If I had had my wand with me, I might have been able to do the Sonorous charm, so my voice would be heard, magically magnified like Dumbledore's, but of course, my wand was what I had been going to get.

"Okay," I told myself. "Don't panic." I breathed deeply. "Just stay calm. You should be able to pull yourself out that way, and even if you couldn't, someone would eventually notice you weren't there and come looking for you."

I put both of my hands on the step above me and pulled. I rose a few inches, and sighed with relief.

I then slid down a few more inches.

I yelled a string of not-very-nice words then, and they echoed off the walls of the castle like my shouts for help had.

I tried to pull myself up a second time, and again slid down a few inches.

If my mum had heard what I shouted at the top of my lungs then, she would have been horrified.

I realized that my attempts to free myself from the step were just making things worse, so I stopped struggling.

"I don't need to worry," I said. "I'm still not going to panic. Someone will realize I didn't come back and come looking for me."

I don't know how much time passed, but it seemed like hours.

No one came.

I didn't panic.

I despaired.

"I can't just die now!" I shouted. "I can't die at the hands of a stupid trick step! A stupid trick step! It's not right! It's not fair! After all I've been through; all I've lived through, a stupid trick step shall be the death of me?"

If the situation hadn't been real; if it was just a story in a book or something, I might have found it humorous. As it wasn't just some story, and was actually happening to me, I didn't find it one bit humorous.

The irony of dying at the hands of a trick step wasn't what bothered me most. It was that, when I died, Hermione would never know the truth...

For in that moment I knew. I don't know if I was so thick I would never have realized it until when the jaws of death were upon me, but at that moment I knew.

I knew why I had started thinking about Hermione so much. I knew why I had always gotten so angry when she was insulted. I knew why I had been so angry when I saw her with Krum at the Yule Ball...

I was in love with her. I was in love with Hermione Granger...

And she would never know.

Voldemort would be at Hogwarts soon. He would kill me.

And she would never know. She would never even know that I regretted that argument we had just had.

I felt my eyes burning, tears forming behind them. I would have completely broken down then.

Then I heard her voice.

"Ron! Ron! Oh, Ron...Are you okay?"

Suddenly Hermione was right there beside me, hugging me so tightly I thought I would die anyway, from suffocation.

"Oh, Ron...I was...so worried. I was...beginning to think something horrible happened to you..." Hermione said, sobbing. "Oh, let me help you." Hermione tried pulling me up out of the step, without success. "Oh, of course..." she said. She grinned, and then did a familiar swish and flick movement with her wand, pointing it at me, and said "Wingardium Leviosa!"

I floated into the air above the step, and Hermione pulled me onto the step below, which she was standing on. "Remember that Halloween in our first year?" she said, grinning again.

"Of course I remember," I said, also grinning, though I'm sure my expression was probably slightly dazed. I mean, I'd just been in the depths of despair when all of a sudden the person I loved most in all the world came and found me. It was like I had died and come alive again.

Hermione's grin was replaced with a concerned expression. "Are you all right, Ron? Are you hurt?"

"It was just that stupid trick step, Hermione...I was running and forgot to jump it. That's all. I'm fine," I mumbled, my face flushing slightly.

"Good...I'm so glad. I don't know what I would've done if anything had happened to you..." Hermione hugged me tightly again. "Dumbledore said that...that it could be dangerous to look for you, but you...you know Dumbledore. He wouldn't have left without you...He wanted all of the students to stay behind and look himself, but I made him let me look for you...It's lucky you were shouting, or I might not have...have found you..." She was sobbing and crying again.

"I thought you hated me, Hermione..." I mumbled, staring at her. I'd never seen her like that. She hadn't even broken down that much that time I said I'd help with Buckbeak's trial and she suddenly threw her arms around me and started crying.

Hermione sniffed. I'd had a bit of a cold recently, and handed her a very crumpled tissue from my robe pocket, which, quite luckily, hadn't already been used.

Hermione wiped her eyes and blew her nose. Then she looked at me.

"I do hate you," she said quite soundly. "I think you're the most stubborn, annoying, stupid person in the world! Sometimes, anyway..."

"Then...why were you so worried about me that you came looking for me and everything?" I said, confused.

"Because...well..."

"What?"

"You have no idea? Are you so extremely thick that you have no idea?" Hermione asked me as she wiped some more tears from her eyes.

"What are you talking about?"

"Well...I..." Hermione had a very odd look on her face. "W-well...You are my friend and...well...We've been through a lot together, and...well..."

I listened curiously to Hermione's stammers, wondering where in the world this was going.

"I love you, you stupid git!" Hermione yelled finally.

My mouth fell open as I stared at her, quite thoroughly confused now, wondering if I had heard her correctly; if this could really be happening. What had I ever done to deserve Hermione's love?

Finally, after a long silence, I found my voice.

"Hermione?" I said, my voice very shaky.

"Yes, Ron?" replied Hermione, smiling at me nervously. I wondered why I had never noticed what a beautiful smile she had, my heard beating in double-time.

"What you just said..."

"What about it?" Hermione's nervous smile grew wider.

"I-it makes absolutely no sense."

Hermione looked down. "I know it doesn't make sense, and I tried to ignore it, but, well, I figured after a while that my feelings for you weren't going to go away, so I might as well accept them...and you might as well know...only..." Hermione was starting to look sad now.

"Hermione?" I said, my voice steadier than before.

"Yes?" she said breathlessly, looking up at me expectantly.

"I...er..." My ears went red.

"Tell her," said a voice in my brain. "Tell her how you feel. Now. Tell her you love her. She wants you to say it..."

"I...You...I really don't think...I used to wonder what you saw in Viktor Krum, but...well...What could you possibly see in me?" I blurted out, wondering what I was saying.

Hermione opened her mouth to respond, but I continued talking.

"I mean..." My face began to flush. "Like you said...I'm a complete git, Hermione...I'm always rude to you...But you...you're...you're...You deserve way better than a git like me..." The words all came out in a rush. "What am I saying?" I thought. "That's not what I wanted to say..." Hermione watched me intently, and when I had finished talking, I was unable to decipher the meaning of her expression.

"What makes you undeserving of me, Ron?" she said quietly, still watching me.

"I'm always rude to you...I'm not near as intelligent or clever...I'm poor..."

"And do you think, Ron," Hermione interrupted, "that any of that matters to me?"

"B-but I'm not good enough for-"

"Don't give me that nonsense, Ron." Hermione said sternly, looking me straight in the eye. Her eyes softened and she looked at me expectantly again. "Do you love me?" she said very quietly. "Look me in the eye and tell me. Yes or no."

My heart, which was still beating in double-time, started beating even faster as I looked straight into those beautiful brown eyes. "I-I...I...I..." I stuttered. I definitely had not expected her to ask me straight out like that. I wanted to tell her; wanted her to know, but actually saying it wasn't near as easy as I had thought it would be.

Hermione looked away and sighed. "You didn't need to come up with excuses. You could have just told me," she said in a hollow voice.

"Wh-what? Told you what?"

"That you don't love me," said Hermione in the same hollow voice.

"NO! You have it all wrong!" screamed a voice in my brain. "Of course I love you! I love you I love you I love you!" However, all that came out of my mouth was broken words. "H-Hermione, I-I...I..."

"It's okay, Ron. It's not your fault. Let's go...We need to get to the Great Hall..." Though she tried to hide them from me, I saw tears in her eyes. She turned to go.

I automatically began to follow Hermione, but I was horrified. Hermione Granger, whom I loved most in all the world, loved me in return, but she didn't know how I felt...She still had no idea...Hadn't I sworn that I would tell her? I had had the perfect opportunity and completely blown it. How could I have been so stupid? As I followed her, I continued to try to get the words out, but they just didn't come.

"I-I...You...I..." I stammered, furious with myself. Why couldn't I just say it? Just three words... four if I included her name. Why was it so hard? Especially since I knew now that she would receive those words with joy; that she wanted me to say them?

"It's okay, Ron. You don't need to apologize."

"Apologize for what?" I thought. "For being madly in love with you without your knowledge or consent?"

I could hardly stand it. We were getting nearer and nearer to the Great Hall.

"Tell her. Tell her. Tell her," said the voice in my brain with every beat of my heart.

"Hermione, I-"

"It's okay, Ron."

Now she was interrupting me, and we were near the bottom of the marble staircase right by the doors to the Great Hall. I'd never be able to say it...but it was now or never...and desperate times call for desperate measures.

I found myself putting my arms around Hermione's waist to stop her. She turned around.

"Ron, what are you doing?"

I didn't answer. I couldn't. I just looked at her, my heart pounding, my ears very red.

"What's the matter with you?" Hermione tried to move my arms, but I tightened my grip around her, sweat beading on my forehead.

"Now or never. Now or never," I kept telling myself.

"Get off of me!" Hermione yelled.

"Now or never. Now or never..." I took a deep breath, leaning towards Hermione and tilting her face towards me. Her eyes widened, and she stared at me. I wasn't sure if I could do this, but I hardly needed to think...

In one sudden movement I had closed my eyes and rather clumsily pressed my lips to hers, and felt her sharp intake of breath.

My nervousness disappeared.

I didn't need to tell Hermione how I felt in words. No words of mine could have expressed my love for her a fraction as well as that kiss. I poured all of my feelings that I couldn't describe into it; put all of my energy into it; put my whole heart into it, which was beating at about a mile a minute.

I think I know what heaven must feel like, or if not heaven, the next best thing.

When Hermione wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me closer, returning the kiss, a thrill of joy went through me such as I had never felt, and will probably never feel again. There will be many more kisses between Hermione and I, but none will ever be as magical as that very first kiss. It was especially magical because neither of us had ever kissed anyone else before...unless Hermione hasn't told me something...Well, that doesn't matter.

It was absolute bliss. As Hermione and I stood on the marble staircase locked in an embrace, nothing else in the world mattered. All that mattered was the two of us; that we were together.

I didn't want that kiss to ever end. I wanted it to go on forever. However, Hermione and I needed to get to the Great Hall, and, even more importantly, we needed to breathe... so, eventually, we broke apart.

Hermione and I stared into each other's eyes, still in an embrace. Hermione's love for me showed in her eyes, and I knew that my own eyes clearly showed my love for her. Neither of us said anything. We didn't need to. We just smiled at each other.

Someone near the Great Hall cleared his throat.

Hermione and I both jumped. We quickly let go of each other and turned around to see Dumbledore looking at us, along with the rest of the last group- Harry and, to my horror, a group of Slytherins including Draco Malfoy and Pansy Parkinson.

"I'm glad that you and Miss Granger have settled your differences, Mr. Weasley, but we best be going now," said Dumbledore to me, his eyes twinkling.

"R-right," I said, as Hermione and I both blushed deeply. Dumbledore turned and went back into the Great Hall.

Harry grinned at Hermione and I as we walked towards the doors to the Great Hall, but Malfoy pretended to gag. "Thanks a lot, Weasel," he said sarcastically. "You and your little Mudblood girlfriend have blinded me for life! Eugh! I've never seen anything so gross!"

I clenched my fist, reaching for my wand, which was...not there. I had forgotten what I had originally been running to get. The urgency of telling Hermione my true feelings had completely driven it from my mind. I decided to simply punch Malfoy instead, but Hermione laid a hand on my arm. "Get used to it, Malfoy," she said coolly, kissing me again right in front of him.

"Come on, then, Ronnie," said Hermione, her eyes twinkling. "Do you mind if I call you Ronnie?"

"Not at all, on one condition." I replied, my eyes twinkling, too.

"What's that?"

"That I can call you Hermy."

"Sure,"

"All right, then. Let's go, Hermy."

We both beamed and walked into the Great Hall hand-in-hand, laughing at the look of utter disgust on Malfoy's face. I completely forgot about my wand and ended up having to buy a new one.

Hermione and I are very close now, though recently a new problem involving her has come up...

Now I have to figure out how I'm going to ask her to marry me.