A Sackful of Holiday Horsefeathers

This story has a bit of everything in it. Humor, romance, evil Slytherin schemes, and mystery! Set during Christmas vacation in Hermione's fifth year. Lupin visits McGonagall, Snape has a strange dream, Draco falls for Hermione, and Trelawney has a vision.

Draco's continued flirtation with Hermione and Ginny, along with the girls' strange behavior, prompts Harry and Ron to actually use the library.

Characters appearing in this chapter will be, in order of appearance: Snape, Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Draco, the Mermaid in the prefects' bathroom, Lupin, McGonagall, Dumbledore, and Pomfrey. (phew, what a large cast so far!)

In Chapter 4, Trelawney gives a reading for Snape, Pomfrey tells Dumbledore the results of the examinations, and McGonagall translates sign language. Also, we find out what Lupin has been doing for a living since he left Hogwarts. Trelawney is slightly out of character (because she's not predicting death and misfortune) but that's okay, cause this is a riddikulus fic.

In Chapter 5, Lupin teaches martial arts to the Hogwarts students. (more specifically, tae kwon do.) Then, Snape and Draco take a secret trip to Knockturn Alley without the knowledge of Dumbledore.

In Chapter 6, Hermione has a little talk with McGonagall, Snape names his new pet, Harry and Ron resort to espionage, and Draco has an enlightening conversation with Snape in a restaurant. The chapter ends with Draco revealing his entire story to the reader.

Chapter Seven: a little Remus and Minerva fluff for those of you who like it; Harry and Ron resort to espionage, and Draco actually does some work.

Chapter 8 takes place right where Chapter 7 leaves off, but alas, there are no socks catching fire in this chapter. Starring roles go to: Snape, Draco, Harry, Ron, and Avril the pet snake.

What does Severus read when he's trying to fall asleep? Who's the only woman for Lucius? What does Hermione fantasize about when she thinks nobody's watching? And who's that dude singing in the middle of my Intermission?

Ginny encourages Hermione to ask out Draco Malfoy. Remus Lupin teaches the students how to meditate, and Hermione decides to get Lupin his job back.

Lupin continues with the martial arts lesson, but it is interrupted when he and McGonagall start flirting with each other. Then, Hagrid helps him break a board. Snape comes along to take Harry to the office. McGonagall tells the rumor she heard about Snape's family.

McGonagall tells a rumor that she heard about Snape, Pomfrey discovers opium in the students' blood samples, Dumbledore interrogates Harry, and the Laundry Room Meeting begins- complete with Draco Malfoy.

This is the newest, most sensational, cutting-edge-story since Tales of Terror and Suspense. If you don't believe me, take a look yourself. You don't want to be left out, do you? Read read read this is a subliminal message read my story read read my story now.

In Chapter 14, Minerva makes a firm decision that will change her life forever. But when will she and Remus reveal this decision to Dumbledore, and how will he take the news?

Hermione and Draco play a role in the main scenes. They don't fight, exactly, but they do have a debate. Then Dumbledore interviews a viscount for the Defense Against the Dark Arts position.

In today's chapter, Ginny seduces Harry, and um, what else is there... nope, that's about it. Enjoy!