A Sackful of Holiday Horsefeathers

Piwakitt

Story Summary:
A gentle parody with a bit of everything in it. Humor, romance, Slytherin schemes, and mystery! Set during the Christmas holidays in Hermione's fifth year. Lupin visits McGonagall, Snape has a strange dream, Draco falls for Hermione, and Trelawney has a vision.

Chapter 10

Chapter Summary:
Ginny encourages Hermione to ask out Draco Malfoy. Remus Lupin teaches the students how to meditate, and Hermione decides to get Lupin his job back.
Posted:
07/20/2003
Hits:
326
Author's Note:
I have not yet read


we bring you

the shortest installment ever of

A Sackful of Holiday Horsefeathers

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Hermione took a deep breath and resolved to shake off her nervous sensations. 'There's no reason for me to be afraid of Ron and Harry,' she thought. 'They're my friends.'

Nevertheless, the sight of those two boys arrived all too soon for Hermione. They were sitting on the floor, apparently waiting for the girls, when she entered the common room.

Harry noticed Hermione first and saluted her with enthusiasm. Upon hearing this, Ron turned his head sharply and said, "Good morning."

"Hi, Ron. Hi, Harry," Hermione replied cheerfully.

"Are you done fraternizing with the enemy?" inquired Ron.

"What? What do you mean? Oh, you're talking about Draco," said Hermione nonchalantly.

"How did you guess?"

"Who else would you be talking about? And no, I'm not in love with him."

Harry said, "Well, that's good."

Ron asked, "Are you in like with him?"

Hermione said, "As silly as that question is, I fear I will have to answer it for you. No, I am not in like with Draco Malfoy. He's a silly little boy. I've seen the error of my ways. No longer will I go for moonlit walks at night with him."

Ron started. "What? I can't believe you did that! You could've been killed!"

Hermione lifted her eyes heavenward. Her face took on a more angelic hue as she spoke, "But I wasn't killed. I was spared from that dreadful, dreadful fate. And now I shall spend the rest of my days warning other girls to stay away from bad men as well."

Harry stated, "Hermione, I do believe you're being sarcastic."

"Oh, no. I'm not. I've just been reading too many novels. I pick up on the speech patterns after a while."

Ron and Harry nodded. It was true; after reading a new book, Hermione was known to use many new and multi-syllabic words. Oftentimes the boys would simply nod and smile instead of asking her what a word meant. It was easier that way.

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As was the custom on all Monday mornings, breakfast was served buffet style in the Hogwarts dining hall. The foodstuffs were laid out on a long narrow table, and everybody lined up to fill their plates. There were buttery croissants and blueberry muffins, milk, pumpkin juice, tea and coffee, french toast, bacon, ham, and muffins with marmalade jam. There were also danishes, smoked salmon, cream cheese and bagels, and some boxes of Lucky Charms cereal.

One by one, the diners left the buffet table, their plates holding more than their stomachs could possibly contain (except for Hagrid.) Hermione was still in line, and she was looking forward to one of those delicious cheese danishes--they was her favorite food on Monday mornings. She looked over Draco's shoulder to see how many were left.

Remaining on the platter were two lonely danishes, surrounded by the crumbs of those who had gone before them.

Hagrid suddenly took one, and not a second later, Draco had the other in his palm.

"Oh, dear," murmured Hermione to Ginny. "All the cheese danishes are gone."

Ginny patted her on the back and said, "Oh, you poor thing."

"Here, Hermione. You can have mine," said Draco. He looked at the girl very sweetly and laid the pastry on her dish.

Hermione glanced up at him and blushed in surprise. "Thank you."

"No problem," said Draco.

After the boy had left the buffet table, Ginny whispered to Hermione, "He likes you. I can tell, he really likes you."

Hermione smiled shyly.

Ginny said, "For a Malfoy to give up the last cheese danish--that's more than friendship, Hermione. You should ask him out."

Hermione exclaimed in a hushed whisper, "I couldn't do that!"

Nodding her head, Ginny said matter-of-factly, "You're right. It's better just to play hard-to-get right now."

"Did you hear that, Ron?" whispered Harry. "Hermione's playing hard-to-get right now."

"Is that why she's been so distant lately?" Ron wondered aloud.

"Maybe," whispered Harry.

"It must be," replied Ron. "That's why she's been acting so strangely--she's trying to play hard-to-get! She wants me to ask her out!"

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After the buffet, all eleven students were seated Indian style on the floor with their eyes closed and hands resting upon their knees. Remus Lupin had told them that this was Mook Sahang, or meditation. "It can also help you with your wizarding courses," he said. The fourth degree black belt and former Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher was sitting in front of the students, a mirror image of their monk-like pose.

McGonagall had refused to be part of this 'Mook Sahang.' She stood quietly off to the side and tried not to laugh, but she had to smile at the sight of a meditating Draco Malfoy.

Lupin instructed them, "Take long, deep breaths, and remember to keep your spine straight. Don't puff out your chest; breathe in with your abdomen. You should feel your diaphragm expanding with air. Focus on your breathing and clear your mind-"

Hermione raised her hand and said, "Um, Professor Lupin? How can we fill our diaphragm with air if it's below our lungs?"

Lupin sighed. "I don't know, but it works. Just trust me on this. Now close your eyes again and meditate. Your breathing should be deep and rhythmic."

The students did so, and the strange breathing made them feel lightheaded. Even Hermione was more relaxed. Draco, on the other hand, didn't notice much of a difference, probably because of the larghe vedute serum he took that morning.

Afterwards came the stretching. Luckily, wizard's clothing is loose and flowing, and the students were able to move freely. That is to say, they would have been able to move freely--if they had been more flexible. As it turned out, Ginny was the only one who could touch her fingers to her toes.

Lupin leapt to his feet and said, "Okay, everyone stand up."

"Are we going to do self-defense?" asked Marvin.

"Perhaps," said Lupin. "But first, I'm going to cover all the basics, including the things that we don't tell our own students. For example, when they pay for their trial lessons and get their free uniforms, and after we've convinced them that they have such marvelous potential, we get them to sign a one-year contract and completely forget to tell them about the extra fees--like belt testing and sparring gear.

"But you don't have to worry about that. You go to Hogwarts. Nice academy. Although, I'm not too sure about your present Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor. He could be replaced. Just my own opinion, you know." He gave a smirk, and then got back on course. "But before we start our lesson, we need to get our blood pumping and wake you people up. You all look like you just rolled out of bed."

And with that, Lupin made them do forty jumping jacks, twenty front rising kicks--ten on each side, twenty crescent kicks, and ten push-ups.

The students were exhausted after this warm up, so Lupin gave them permission to take a five-minute water break.

"Only five minutes?" Jessup lamented.

"Five minutes is very generous for a water break," Lupin said firmly, and Jessup hurried off to reserve his place in line at the water fountain.

And once again that day, the students found themselves waiting in line. They passed the time by gossiping.

Hermione said to Harry and Ron, "You know what? McGonagall looks happier lately."

"Yeah," said Harry. "I think it's because of Lupin."

"Yeah. Definitely Lupin," said Ron, his voice filled with meaning.

"Oh," said Hermione, finally coming to a realization about the teachers' relationship. "Wouldn't it be nice if there was a way for him to teach here again?"

"And have a decent Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor?" said Harry.

"And it would make McGonagall so happy," said Hermione.

"Not to mention Lupin," said Ron. "Poor bloke. He needs a woman."

"That's what I'm talking about. We've got to find a way for Lupin to come back next year--and teach!" said Hermione quietly, so that their professors wouldn't hear them. She was loud enough, however, to be overheard by Draco Malfoy. He continued listening with interest.

..................to be continued