A Sackful of Holiday Horsefeathers

the fifth installment of

A Sackful of Holiday Horsefeathers

is brought to you in Exciting Panavision Color.

~~~~~~~~~

The martial arts lesson turned out to be quite satisfactory.

"Minny, I mean, Professor McGonagall," said Lupin. "You can help me demonstrate this technique. It's called 'ho shin sool.' That's Korean for 'self-defense.'"

The children looked up with curiosity, but McGonagall only shook her head bashfully. "Oh, no you don't," she said to Lupin.

"Why not? It's fun," Lupin told her.

"I'm much too old to be tossed around like that Jackie Chan fellow," said McGonagall.

"But Jackie Chan is older than you are; he's in his fifties!" cried Lupin. "And he's a Muggle. If he can do it, even Dumbledore can."

"I'd like to see that happen," McGonagall mused thoughtfully.

"Don't worry, Professor. I'm not going to toss you around." Lupin smiled, holding out his hand. "Come here, Minerva. Show them what you're made of. If I recall correctly, Minerva was the Roman goddess of wisdom, ingenuity, and warfare. You do want to live up to your namesake, don't you?"

McGonagall smiled. "All right, I'll give it the old college try. But only if you promise not to throw me around."

Lupin raised his eyebrows. He was about to say, 'I didn't hear any objections last night,' but then he remembered they were surrounded by students.

He chose to say instead, "I promise. Now, stand in front of me and grab my left shoulder with your right hand."

McGonagall placed her palm tentatively upon Lupin's shoulder. Immediately, the familiar electricity came flooding into her fingertips just from that little contact.

He reached up with his right hand and squeezed her attacking palm, putting pressure upon the fleshy area below her thumb. At the same time, he slid his left arm inside her elbow and forced her arm into a crooked S-shape.

"Ow, that hurts," cried McGonagall.

"Oh, sorry, Professor." Lupin let go of her. "When it starts hurting, that's about the time we tap our leg--just like this. That shows our partner that we've had enough."

He turned toward the students. "What I did just now may look very simple and quick, but it takes a lot of practice and concentration to do it right. There are pressure points along the arm, and you need to know where they are to hurt your opponent.

"Now, who knows what the goddess Minerva was called in Grecian mythology?"

Elaine was the only one to raise her hand. For once, Hermione didn't participate. "Was it Athena?" asked Elaine.

"Yes! Very good. Athena she was. Five points to Ravenclaw!" Lupin declared.

Draco was grateful for this little distraction that Lupin and McGonagall were providing. He found it interesting. Who knew that Lupin was a black belt in Tae Kwon Do? So that's what the man was doing now that he was out of Hogwarts: teaching bloody Muggles how to defend against members of their own species.

Draco slouched down further in his chair and lazily reached into his pocket. Everyone else was looking at Lupin and McGonagall. No one would notice Draco as he opened his glass jar and let the spiders go free onto the porch. There they went! They must've been hungry, those little buggers. Draco half hoped the spiders would scurry over to Ron, but they didn't. They just scattered along the pavement looking for food.

Draco screwed the lid back on and put the empty jar in his pocket. He'd have to think of a new present for Ron now. Blast Dumbledore for adding more rules to this game! Draco wasn't about to risk getting seven weeks of bad luck just to hear Weasley scream like a girl. Seven weeks of good luck, however, was very tempting at the moment. Hermione was very tempting.

Remus Lupin was informing them on the history of his sport. "Did you know that Tae Kwon Do is one of the oldest forms of martial arts in the world? It dates back to over 2,000 years ago. That's older than Hogwarts."

Ginny was sitting a few yards away from Draco. She hadn't spoken to him at all that morning. He looked kind of bored. Was he mad at her? No. It was his idea to break into the prefects' bathroom. And after all, they hadn't been punished. Oh, one may say that being trapped on the porch was a punishment, but it was more entertaining than not.

Remus Lupin had always been a popular teacher, especially among the female students. Ginny forced herself to hold back a smile as she watched Lupin. He had luscious brown eyes and smooth, white skin. And the way his clothes fell on him, they were just begging to be ripped off!

"The Hwarang, which means Flower of Youth, was a group of elite warriors organized by King Jin Heung," said Remus Lupin. "The kingdom of Silla was very small and constantly under attack from foreign armies, so the King gathered together the noble born sons within his kingdom and trained them in what would eventually be called Tae Kyon."

Ginny wondered if Lupin was going to let the students practice with him one-on-one. It would be a dreadful shame if they just had to sit there, watching him toss around McGonagall. Lucky McGonagall!

Hermione, meanwhile, was deep in thought, trapped amidst her tangled web of woes. She appeared to be concentrating on the lesson, though. She had done such a good job of listening in the past that she'd got the look down pat.

Her chances of becoming a prefect now seemed dismal to Hermione. If only she hadn't disobeyed the rules last night! And for what? To be with Draco Malfoy! Where was her mind? Why did she like him? Just a week ago, she couldn't see past his arrogance and snide remarks, and now she was seeing a whole new layer of him!

Hermione through her muddled reasoning kept arriving at the same conclusion: she must be insane.

But that meant that Draco was insane, too. Or maybe... No, Hermione didn't like the idea that Draco might be using her. He was sneaky, but he wouldn't use her. Nobody would dare use her! The very idea was appalling. Hermione was a Force to be Reckoned With. People respected her.

Draco was... Draco was... Draco was being weird, like all boys, and that was that.

"...Tae Kyon. The Hwarang was not only taught how to develop their bodies, but their minds and spirits as well. They studied history, poetry, philosophy..." Lupin noticed that his students' attention had been diverted to a trail of spiders running along the ground. Lupin continued in a slightly louder voice, "Ahem. Who wants to come up here and be my new assistant?"

Ginny's hand went up automatically, and Lupin called on her. (By the way, he had no idea that the girls thought he was cute.) He assigned the other students into pairs and told them to watch carefully, as they would be practicing the next drill with each other. "Harry, Hermione. Ron, Chrystal. Slyvia, Jessup. Draco..... Marvin. Elizabeth, Elaine. Very good. Now, everybody face your partner and give a bow."

Lupin asked Ginny, "So, have you done any martial arts before?"

Ginny shook her head.

"Well, it's very fun. And we never actually hurt each other in these self-defense drills. Except for the pressure points; those hurt sometimes. We may practice grabbing and throwing our partners down on the ground, but we never actually punch or kick anyone. We come very close to the body, but we never punch, kick, or strike while we're not wearing our sparring gear. If I see anyone who's not taking this seriously, I'll have to ask them to leave. You need self-control for partner drills.

"Now, then. I'm about to teach you a Green Belt self-defense move, Ginny. We start learning self-defense at the Green Belt level. You're going to be the attacker for now and grab my wrist. My right wrist, with your left hand," he instructed, and she firmly grabbed his wrist, wondering what would come next. "Now I step forward into horse riding stance. In Korean, we call this stance 'choo choom sogi.'" He slid his right foot forward along the ground and positioned it between Ginny's legs. Horse riding stance meant that his knees were bent and his legs were spread about three feet apart.

"At the same time, I jerk my arm out of Ginny's grip, turning my whole torso, and then do an elbow strike to her solar plexus. Then comes a backfist strike to the face." He did these maneuvers in slow motion at first, and then he did them a second time, more swiftly. Ginny was simply supposed to stand there while he counter-attacked. While she did so, she noticed an attractive gleam in his eyes. It was the look of intense concentration. Mmmm. It was the look of focused energy. Mmmm. His eyes were like the windows of his manly, energetic, sweat producing soul.

"Now, I'll be the attacker, and you can be the counter-attacker," said Lupin, totally oblivious to the wild thoughts dashing through young Ginny's mind. "Do you remember the steps?"

Ginny nodded. "Mm-hm."

She and the rest of the students executed the drill until it was well polished, and surprisingly, no one got injured. Lupin then showed them how to do some kicks, using McGonagall for his assistant once again. He enjoyed torturing her. Well, it wasn't really torture, but you know what I mean. McGonagall was the type of woman who would rather learn ballroom dancing. In the days of her youth, she had enjoyed Quidditch, but that was over twenty years ago, and Quidditch was poles apart from 'that Jackie Chan stuff.' Nevertheless, McGonagall was beginning to develop a tolerance for tae kwon do. It was bearable if one didn't work hard enough to get all sweaty. Goodness, she had to maintain some professional standard of hygiene.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Snape ventured a peep out the window, trying to remain inconspicuous. The children's lesson was almost over, and Lupin was teaching McGonagall how to do a proper front snap kick. Snape forced his lungs to take in a deep breath of oxygen; it was so difficult to breathe when Minerva McGonagall was nearby.

Forlorn, he let the curtains fall back into place and walked away. He had to get out of the castle. He couldn't stand these feelings building up inside of him; they were like waves upon a storm-tossed sea. Just when he thought he had a moment's peace, he was rising to the top of yet another crest of agony. He needed a distraction.

After searching for a half hour, Snape finally found Dumbledore in the kitchen supervising the house elves' work. He sidled up to the Headmaster and said quietly yet firmly, "Excuse me, sir."

Dumbledore turned his head. "Yes?"

"I'll be in Hogsmeade this afternoon," announced Snape. "I need to buy more potions ingredients."

"Very well, Severus," said Dumbledore.

"I would like to bring Draco Malfoy with me, if it's all right with you," added Snape.

"Draco Malfoy?" Dumbledore reiterated.

"Yes. He is very eager to learn about the intricacies of potion making," explained Snape. "I'm sure Lucius would agree with me that Draco ought to be doing something productive with his vacation, since he isn't spending it with his family."

Dumbledore went through the pros and cons very quickly in his head. Pro: Draco Malfoy would be out of his way. Con: ©╩╬¤¢ĦǾ≠Ж£§ЮתבשЩإ↔↕خذضÞپ??.?..?...?....?

There were no cons as far as Dumbledore could see, and so he allowed Snape to drag Malfoy along with him to Hogsmeade.

Dumbledore thought of another pro as Snape was leaving the kitchen: Lucius Malfoy would be pleased that Draco was brushing up on his studies. Maybe one of these days, Lucius would stop griping about the way Dumbledore ran his school.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Draco caught Ginny's gaze as she looked over at him. She waited for him to speak, but he merely gawked at her, not knowing what to say, and she averted her eyes as she scurried up the stairs.

Draco sighed. She was going up to the Gryffindor Common Room, no doubt. Hopefully, things would soon go back to normal. He and the girls wouldn't feel awkward and guilty forever, would they? He would get another chance to--

His train of thought was broken as somebody called his name.

"Malfoy," beckoned Professor Snape. He was swiftly advancing down the corridor toward him. "We are taking a trip this afternoon."

"What kind of trip?" inquired Draco.

"A field trip," replied Professor Snape. "I've already told Dumbledore that we're going to Hogsmeade to get some more ingredients for potions class."

"Are we all going? All of us...students?" asked Draco.

"All of you? Oh, no. It's not a class trip," declared Professor Snape, as if the thing were out of the question. He looked around the empty hallway and, lowering his voice, he enlightened his protégé further, "Just between you and I, Malfoy, we're not staying in Hogsmeade. I have very important business at a certain establishment in Knockturn Alley. If you wish, you may come with me. It will be very informative."

"Are you serious?" said Draco incredulously.

"When have I ever not been serious?" his teacher uttered thickly.

"Oh, you are serious then." Draco let the news sink in, and then he said, "Well, when are we leaving?"

"As soon as possible," answered Professor Snape.

"I can handle that," said Draco.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once in Hogsmeade, Professor Snape led Draco into an old tavern with a fireplace in the back room. Some wizards were playing billiards and drinking ale, but they barely looked up from their game as Snape and Draco entered the room.

"What are we doing here?" asked Draco impatiently.

"We're using Floo Powder," answered Snape. He walked over to the massive fireplace and pulled out a red velvet pouch from his pocket. "Don't worry; they're used to it. This portal gets used all the time. That's what it's here for." He sprinkled a bit of floo powder into Draco's upturned palm and said calmly, "After you, Malfoy."

They were gone in a wisp of green smoke, and the other wizards didn't bat an eyelash, not even when the words "Knockturn Alley" were uttered.

Draco found himself in a desolate space wedged between two buildings. At the end of the corridor, he could see the crowded streets of Knockturn Alley. What an interesting district it was. Draco truly felt at home there.

The true Slytherin at heart could be free from the fluorescent Christmas cheer that permeated the rest of the world at that time of year. There were no multi-colored light bulbs lining the storefronts. There were no tacky advertisements to buy crap that nobody needed. And best of all, there were no couples walking side by side holding hands. Draco and Snape were spared from that sickening sight, thank God. People who needed people were the most pathetic things on Earth.

Knockturn Alley was the place where Lucius Malfoy did much business in the past. He had to sell many of his old belongings there a couple of years ago because that nosy and meddlesome Ministry of Magic had planned to ransack his house. Talk about a violation of privacy! Thankfully, the Ministry hadn't found anything incriminating, and Lucius Malfoy continued to be a wealthy and influential member of the wizarding world.

Professor Snape appeared at the end of the corridor. He glanced back at Draco and said, "Well, aren't you coming?"

Draco picked up his heels and followed the professor out of the alley and down the street. "Do you know what a Runespoor is?" asked the professor.

"Yes, a Runespoor is a type of snake," answered Draco with Slytherin precision.

"That is why we're here. To buy one," said Snape, keeping an eye out for pick pockets.

"I heard you can only get one on the black market," said Draco.

"Yes, that's true. You have a good memory."

"Is there any special reason why you want one?" asked the boy.

"Why, no. I thought it would make a good pet," said the professor sarcastically. "The Runespoor has the unique ability to lay eggs in its mouths. These eggs have special properties, and it is for these properties that I desire to lay my hands on a Runespoor."

Draco reached far back into his memory of potions class. A Runespoor--a three headed serpent with black and orange markings... "Their eggs are used to stimulate mental agility, aren't they?"

"Exactly," said Snape. He slowed his walk; up ahead he could read the sign of Cerridwen's Karaoke Bar. "Can you keep secrets, Malfoy?"

Draco said thoughtfully, "It depends on how much I get paid."

"Ah, very good. Now, if we succeed in taking care of this Runespoor and hiding it from everyone else at Hogwarts, we will be able to win back our glory from Gryffindor."

Draco was beginning to catch on. Snape continued, "With the Runespoor's eggs, we can make enough potion for all of Slytherin House."

Draco interrupted, "But we don't need it! We can beat Gryffindor without any potions! They're lazy bums!" 'Except for Hermione and Ginny,' he thought.

"I understand your pride, Malfoy. I feel the same way. For the past four years, the House Cup has been handed over to Gryffindor when it rightly belonged to Slytherin. It's because Dumbledore is prejudiced against us. Perhaps he is getting senile in his old age. Who knows? I am merely evening out the playing field. There will be no way for Dumbledore to play favorites by the end of the year," promised Professor Snape. "We will destroy our competition. And Minerva McGonagall will find out that she can't have everything she wants."

Draco followed Snape as he entered the exotic pet store next to the bar. He couldn't help but admire his professor's sophisticated plan. As Head of Gryffindor House, McGonagall had enjoyed the coveted House Cup for four years too many, in Snape's opinion. But he was now ready to take action--this streak of injustice would not go on indefinitely.

..................to be continued