Harry Potter and the Sticking Broom

“Harry was enjoying the opportunity to remain quiet while his friends bickered. Swinging his broom as he walked, he was thinking about Quidditch, because Quidditch had given him the happiest memories of his fifth year at Hogwarts.” Unfortunately, all this will change when Harry Potter encounters the Sticking Broom. In Chapter 1, Professor McGonagall searches for a way to profit from an idle few weeks in June, Professor Snape endures a period of unwelcome celebrity and Hermione considers how low she is prepared to sink to earn a prefect’s badge. (This story was written prior to OotP, and has since been rendered utterly and unapologetically AU.)

This is the story of the Hogwarts St. Mungo's Benefit Quidditch Tournament - the first and only time that staff and student teams competed against each other in the noble sport of warlocks. In this chapter, Hermione embarks on a distasteful quest, the Giant Squid indulges its foot fetish and various suspicious characters lurk in the Restricted Section of the library.

This is the story of the Hogwarts St. Mungo's Benefit Quidditch Tournament - the first and only time that staff and student teams competed against each other in the noble sport of warlocks. In this chapter, Angelina selects the Hogwarts All School Team, Fred doesn't know when to keep his mouth shut and Harry does Cho a favour he may very wll live to regret.

This is the story of the Hogwarts St. Mungo's Benefit Quidditch Tournament - the first and only time that staff and student teams competed against each other in the noble sport of warlocks. In this chapter, Harry is hot, grumpy and in no mood for ominous warnings. Peeves is cheerful, sadistic and full of song. And Ginny, who is in a great hurry, is surprisingly empathetic.

This is the story of the Hogwarts St. Mungo’s Benefit Quidditch Tournament – the first and only time that staff and student teams competed against each other in the noble sport of warlocks. In Chapter 5, Hermione (predictably) suggests that Harry should look for the Sticking Broom in the library. Once there, Ron and Harry discover some interesting things about the student days of several Hogwarts professors – until Snape intervenes. (This story was begun prior to OotP, completed shortly thereafter, but remains unapologetically AU.)

This is the story of the Hogwarts St. Mungo’s Benefit Quidditch Tournament – the first and only time that staff and student teams competed against each other in the noble sport of warlocks. In Chapter 6, Harry’s nose and George’s eyes are glowing as red as a Clabbert. Fred is also seeing red; with the result that Jordan’s Betting Shop does a brisk trade. And Hermione lets everybody know what she thinks about Quidditch. (This story was begun prior to OotP, completed shortly thereafter, but remains unapologetically AU.)

This is the story of the Hogwarts St. Mungo’s Benefit Quidditch Tournament – the first and only time that staff and student teams competed against each other in the noble sport of warlocks. In Chapter 7, Ron learns about cricket. Lavender and Parvati have a thing or two to say about the paparazzi. And Harry experiences some unusual weather. (This story was begun prior to OotP, completed shortly thereafter, but remains unapologetically AU.)

This is the story of the Hogwarts St. Mungo’s Benefit Quidditch Tournament – the first and only time that staff and student teams competed against each other in the noble sport of warlocks. . In Chapter 8, Ginny takes Harry in search of the Sticking Broom. They meet the Head Boy in the pumpkin patch. Harry promises to keep a secret, revisits a familiar parlour and discovers that the mere sight of a game of Quodpot is enough to infuriate a Weasley. (This story was begun prior to OotP, completed shortly thereafter, but remains unapologetically AU.)

This is the story of the Hogwarts St. Mungo’s Benefit Quidditch Tournament – the first and only time that staff and student teams competed against each other in the noble sport of warlocks. In Chapter 9, Harry and Ginny spy on the staff team’s training session. They also follow Professor Snape into Hogsmeade, where they argue about racing brooms and take refuge in the Three Broomsticks. (This story was begun prior to OotP, completed shortly thereafter, but remains unapologetically AU.)

This is the story of the Hogwarts St. Mungo’s Benefit Quidditch Tournament – the first and only time that staff and student teams competed against each other in the noble sport of warlocks. In Chapter 10, Professor McGonagall must decide how to punish the students caught by Snape. Hermione extols the virtues of her Lug-Eezy satchel. And Sybill Trelawney makes a gratuitous, but hopefully unintentional, Uranus joke. (This story was begun prior to OotP, completed shortly thereafter, but remains unapologetically AU.)

This is the story of the Hogwarts St. Mungo’s Benefit Quidditch Tournament – the first and only time that staff and student teams competed against each other in the noble sport of warlocks. In Chapter 11, the trio’s last Potions lesson for the year has an explosive ending. Ginny makes her final attempt to burgle Madam Hooch’s office. George’s flying is well below par. And Harry shares an unappetising breakfast with his biggest fan. (This story was begun prior to OotP, completed shortly thereafter, but remains unapologetically AU.)

This is the story of the Hogwarts St. Mungo’s Benefit Quidditch Tournament – the first and only time that staff and student teams competed against each other in the noble sport of warlocks. In Chapter 12, Professor Snape’s hairy devotees arrive. Ron is pelted with porridge, before he finally tells Hermione what she should do with her Potions essay. Harry gate-crashes a party where he hears something alarming. And, Celestina Warbeck sings! (This story was begun prior to OotP, completed shortly thereafter, but remains unapologetically AU.)

This is the story of the Hogwarts St. Mungo’s Benefit Quidditch Tournament – the first and only time that staff and student teams have competed against each other in the noble sport of warlocks. In Chapter 13, the first match is played. Argus Filch flies in an unorthodox and highly suspicious manner, George’s loyalties are called into question, Ginny is unimpressed with Harry’s efforts and Professor Snape suspects foul play.

In Chapter 14, Harry catches up with the day’s news, carries Katie Bell’s books and wonders which dangerous beast Hagrid is concealing. Cho hopes that Harry will oblige her. The second match begins brutally and ends abruptly. And, Draco Malfoy gets exactly what he wishes for.

In Chapter 15 Lucius Malfoy makes a startling accusation and the All School Team must answer to McGonagall. The third and final game is played and Harry, true to form, ends up in the hospital wing. But, does Madam Pomfrey really mean what she said about the Sticking Broom?

This is the story of the Hogwarts St. Mungo’s Benefit Quidditch Tournament – the first and only time that staff and student teams competed against each other in the noble sport of warlocks. In Chapter 16, Angelina must face the consequences of her unladylike behaviour. George develops unusual symptoms. And finally, with the help of a pair of Omioculars and two trusted friends, Harry learns the awful truth of the Sticking Broom. Apparently, it all began with Sturgis Podmore’s knees.

In Chapter 17 Fred and George flee the scene of the crime, only to find an unlikely solution to all their problems. Professor Snape requires a sturdy cushioning charm, but still has a most enjoyable train ride. He happily reminisces about squirrels and ensures Hermione’s good work does not go to waste.

In Chapter 18, Ginny suffers an embarrassing affliction, but still manages to explain herself to Harry. Ron and Hermione appear to have been enjoying themselves hugely. And Professor Dumbledore, as is his wont, fails to tell Harry everything.

In any discussion of the noble sport of warlocks, the final word rightfully belongs to Kennilworthy Whisp. This epilogue has been extracted from Mr Whisp’s Second Edition of Quidditch Through the Ages. It discusses the far-reaching implications of the Hogwarts St. Mungo’s Quidditch Tournament.