Rating:
15
House:
Riddikulus
Ships:
Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Lucius Malfoy/Severus Snape
Characters:
Draco Malfoy Albus Dumbledore Harry Potter
Genres:
Humor Slash
Era:
The Harry Potter at Hogwarts Years
Spoilers:
Philosopher's Stone Chamber of Secrets Prizoner of Azkaban Goblet of Fire Order of the Phoenix
Stats:
Published: 10/19/2007
Updated: 10/15/2008
Words: 26,418
Chapters: 22
Hits: 11,944

The Hogwarts Poets' Society

Sara Myles

Story Summary:
Dumbledore forms a Poets' society and invites a strange array of people, but nobody knows why! And then he gets a twinkle in his eye that can only mean one thing: A Plan of Imminent Doom! Oh no! *slash*

Chapter 18 - In Which Moody Appears

Chapter Summary:
“No,” said Snape, the fear evident in his voice. “No,” said McGonagall, the exasperation evident in her voice. “NO!” cried Draco, the dread evident in his voice. “YES!” shouted Dumbledore, the triumph evident in his voice.
Posted:
04/24/2008
Hits:
277


Severus Snape does not look good in periwinkle. Nor does he look good in maroon, orange, any shade of blue, gold, red, pink, etc. His colors are limited to black, Slytherin green™, and silver. This, of course, leaves his wardrobe rather dull and boring, with little variation.

"What shall I wear today?" he asked himself dully in the mirror. "My swooshy black robes? My swooshier black robes? How about my intimidating swooshy black robes?"

"Sir, Dumbledore would like to see you in his office," said a bored portrait that was currently covered up.

"Sorry, can't; tell him that I've a class to teach in ten minutes. Of course, he ought to know this, seeing as he makes up the damn schedule," snarled Snape. He hated that stupid portrait.

"He says it's important," replied the portrait, as though he had expected this.

"Yes, well, I'm sure it is," said Snape, thinking of the last time Dumbledore had called him for Something Important.

Flashback:

"Dumbledore would like to speak with you," said a portrait from behind him.

"Up yours," said Snape, unhappy at being interrupted from his daily wardrobe struggle.

"Hey, don't shoot the messenger," said the portrait.

"Fine," said Snape. "Up his, then."

"He says it's important."


"Dumbledore wants to speak with me about Something Important?" asked Snape.


"Yes," said the portrait.

Then Snape ran clad only in his boxers. This was unfortunate. It was laundry day, and the only boxers that Snape had clean were the green ones with flashy, shiny, silvery Christmas baubles on them. Finally, he arrived at the Headmaster's office.

"What is it, Dumbledore?" he had panted.

"I wanted to show you my new chair," said Dumbledore happily. "See it?"

"That's it?" asked Snape, suddenly furious.

"That's it," said Dumbledore. "Why are you only in your boxers? Is that the new style? Should I run around the school in only my boxers, too?"

End Flashback.

"He says to tell you that it's about the Plan of Imminent Doom!" said the portrait before leaving. Either Snape was going to come to the office or he wasn't; there was only so much convincing a portrait could do before he ran out of patience.

Snape went to Dumbledore's office, fully clothed in his intimidating swooshy black robes. He had a class with a bunch of Hufflepuff first years first thing in the morning, and he didn't want them to think that he was going soft.

"You called for me, Dumbledore?" asked Snape grandly as he swooshed his way into the Headmaster's strange office. He was, of course, expecting to be assigned to some Secret Dangerous Mission. He was feeling a little egotistical.


"Oh, deflate your head, you Slytherin grease monkey," snarled McGonagall. "This isn't what you think it is."

No kidding, thought Ron the cactus.

"Then what's going on?" asked Snape, visibly deflated. Once again, the Important Thing that Dumbledore had to talk to him about didn't appear to be important at all.

"The Malfoy boy and Harry did something incredibly stupid," snarled McGonagall. She was Not Happy. Of course, she had to respect Dumbledore, she reminded herself. After all he allegedly knows what he's doing.

"What?" asked Snape. "What did they do?" And how am I going to explain this to Lucius? He thought grimly.

"They may or may not have formed a Blood Alliance," said Dumbledore seriously. Inside, he was positively jumping for joy. Things were progressing along at a nice place.

"What?" gasped Snape. His mouth gaped like large mouth bass.

Oh, honestly, thought Ron the cactus. Is he really that dumb? You know, the only thing that could make him look more ridiculous right now would be periwinkle robes.

Snape's robes turned periwinkle. He didn't notice right away, but everyone else in the room did. They all stared at Snape's marvelous, intimidating, formally-black swooshy black robes.

"What? What are you looking at?" he asked, bewildered.

"Snape, I love your new choice of color," said Dumbledore fondly.

"What? What's new about my color?" he asked, suddenly afraid. Then he noticed his robes. "ACK!" he screamed in a very un-Slytherin-ish way. "My robes are blue!"

"Actually, Snape, I believe that color is periwinkle," said McGonagall. "Sort of a light, happy blue."

"Happy?" screeched Snape. "HAPPY? My robes can not be a color that is happy. They have to be intimidating. They have to be scary. They have to be swooshy. They may not be HAPPY!"

"Snape, your new magenta complexion really goes with your periwinkle robes," said Draco Malfoy happily.

"That's professor Snape to you!" roared Snape.

"Okay, then, Professor, your new purple complexion really goes well with your periwinkle robes," said Draco Malfoy, a little more maliciously this time.

"I am going to kill that kid!" Snape said as he lunged. Unfortunately for him, he missed and landed in a periwinkle heap on the floor.

"Are you quite done?" sneered McGonagall. At that moment, there was a knock at the Headmaster's door.

"Come in," called Dumbledore.


"Aren't you even going to ask who it is?" asked Harry. "I mean, how do you know this isn't an Evil Thing?"

"Even if it was an Evil Thing, I'm sure it won't attack you here and now," said Dumbledore calmly. "We outnumber him."

"Or her," said McGonagall. "The Evil Thing could be a she! Everyone always assumes that Evil Things are going to be a him!"


She has a point, you know, thought Ron the cactus. When I think of Evil Things, I don't usually think of a girl. Well, there is Bellatrix Lestrange, I suppose, but she isn't really a girl, is she?

Alastor Moody opened the door. The result was quite interesting, actually. Snape sensed his presence and stood up, trying to look as dignified as he possibly could in periwinkle robes. Draco Malfoy made a scared meeping noise, thinking of ferrets and bouncing. McGonagall ended her rant about the sexist discrimination and Evil Things.

Dumbledore, meanwhile, was elated at perhaps regaining some control over the people in his office, and thereby regaining some control in his Plan of Imminent Doom.

"Everybody shut up," said Moody unnecessarily, as the room had gone very quiet.

"Um, Alastor, what are you doing here?" asked McGonagall. "Aren't you supposed to be on vacation someplace far, far away while you deal with your paranoia issues?"

"Nah, the Ministry assigned me Head of the Department of Potter Protection," said Alastor. "Sounded like too much fun to pass up. You figure this boy gets attacked at least once a year. At least I'll have job security."

"There's an entire Department dedicated protecting me?" asked Harry in awe. Then he became annoyed. "Well, they aren't doing a very good job of it."

"We only intervene when we don't think you're tough enough to handle it yourself," said Moody. "And you've already proved yourself to be rather resilient, so we don't worry too much."

"But--But--" stuttered Harry.

"What is your problem?" asked Snape condescendingly.

"I don't want people following me around all the time!" sputtered Harry. "I mean, what if I do something that I don't want anyone else to see?"

"You mean like shagging that hooligan over there?" asked Moody gruffly.

"Eep," said Draco Malfoy.

"Erk," said Harry Potter.

"DOOM!" said Severus Snape. Everyone turned and looked at him. "Sorry, I couldn't help it!" he apologized.

"Right, then," said Moody, in his gruff busy-Auror voice. "Dumbledore, what was it you wanted to see me about?"

"Ah, yes," said Dumbledore quietly. "Well, you see, we have a bit of a problem here."


"No problem! I detect no problems! And we all know Slytherin's have an uncanny intuition, so--" said Draco Malfoy quickly, trying to avoid being turned into some sort of animal and being bounced around again.

"Shut up," said Snape, giving Draco a good smack on the back of his head.

"Go on," said Dumbledore, ignoring that bit of student abuse.

"Well, these idiots here have appeared to form an official Alliance," said Moody.

"No," said Snape, the fear evident in his voice.


"No," said McGonagall, the exasperation evident in her voice.

"NO!" cried Draco, the dread evident in his voice.

"YES!" shouted Dumbledore, the triumph evident in his voice.


Damn, thought Ron the cactus. Perhaps if I wasn't a cactus, I could tell Hermione about this. I think it's important.

"What's going on?" cried Harry, the confusion evident in his voice.

"That means that Draco--and none of his relatives, no matter how distant--can't hurt you," said Dumbledore gravely.

"Oh, well, that's not so bad," said Harry. "I mean, that'll make fighting these idiots a lot easier."

"Yes, well, there is one condition," said Dumbledore smugly.

"What's that?" said Harry.

"You mean you don't know?" said Draco, incredulously.

"No, I don't know. What?" said Harry innocently.

"Allow me to explain in song," said Dumbledore, breaking into a smile.


Yay, cliffhangers!!! (You'll forgive me, Snuff!)