Siege of the Sues

Harry had never felt this great in his life. He was zipping around the Quidditch pitch with Draco, his new best friend ever in the entire world, and Keira, who had abandoned her Firebolt 300 to simply fly using her gryphon wings. Keira had apparently been made Quidditch captain while Harry was passed out, and she had pulled out the Snitch so they could chase it around. It had to be past midnight, but he didn't care. Snape was too happy to yell at them, and Filch would be putting out those stupid fires that kept happening. Harry didn't remember why, but he didn't really care. He was happy right now.

"Hey, Harry!"

Harry started. Who was that? It wasn't Draco or Keira...he looked down to see Ron waving wildly at him from the ground. He groaned and swooped down. "What do you want?"

Ron stared at him. "Harry, it's past midnight. You're going to get in trouble, you know that?"

Harry shrugged. "We're having fun. You should come play too."

Ron glanced up. "You're out here with Malfoy? Geez, Harry, did you hit your head when you passed out or what?"

"Malfoy's my friend," Harry said defensively. "I know we've fought a lot in the past, but we made a truce, and now we're not going to fight anymore."

"Okay, now I know you hit your head," Ron said. He squinted up at Keira. "Unless...who's that? Are those wings?"

"That's Keira," Harry replied happily. "She's wonderful. She took care of me in the infirmary, and plus she's totally beautiful."

Ron sighed. "Never mind," he said grimly. "Now I know what's wrong." He cupped his hands around his mouth. "Keira! Hey, Keira, come down here!"

Keira gracefully spiraled down, landing perfectly beside Ron. She folded her wings behind her and carefully pushed her hair behind her ears. "Yes? Who are you?"

"I'm Ron Weasley," Ron snapped. "And you, you are a Mary Sue, and I'd like it if you'd shove off and leave Harry alone."

"What?" Keira screamed. "I am not a Mary Sue! Do you have any idea who I am?"

"Try me." Ron folded his arms and looked her in the eye.

"I'm Voldemort's daughter!" she screamed. "And I'm half gryphon! And...and I'm half veela too!" Her face started turning into a cruel beak, and her hands twisted into claws. "You're going to regret this, Mister Ron Weasley! You're going to be sorry you ever called me a Mary Sue!"

Harry was confused, not to mention scared. Ron was his friend still, right? Why was he fighting with Keira? And what on earth was happening to her? He shot a nervous look at Ron, trying to signal him to shut up. But it was too late.

Ron was laughing. "You're You-Know-Who's daughter, and you're half gryphon and half veela? That's impossible! There's no way you can exist!"

"That's not true!" Keira screamed, growing uglier by the second. "I can too exist! I'm trying to screw Potter so my daddy can get on with his evil plan!" She stopped suddenly. "Uh oh."

"You're what?" Harry pushed Ron aside and stared at Keira, who was rapidly turning back into a semi-normal looking girl. "Keira! I thought you liked me!"

"Well--well," she faltered, looking down.

"I don't believe this! You--I thought you were--"

"FINE!" Keira yelled. "Yes, I'm evil! it doesn't matter! I'll get you somehow! Now I'm gonna go snog Draco!" She took off, flying up to a completely oblivious Draco and yanking him from his broom.

Harry and Ron watched, completely transfixed. "Well," Harry started, feeling his face redden.

"Don't mention it," Ron replied. "I think we'd better get back up to the dormitory before we get caught."

Harry nodded. "Let's go."