Siege of the Sues

The Sorting was the most horrible thing Harry had ever sat through. Apparently the Sues' powers extended to the Sorting Hat, since there were a number of them Sorted into two houses rather than one, and a good number of them deemed too special for any of the four Houses. Harry was privately pleased to note that these "extra-special" students were pressed into the care of Professor Trelawney. Apparently the Sues had no effect on McGonagall's sense of humor.

Unfortunately, things went awry when a handsome blonde boy was sorted into Gryffindor. He made his way directly to where the three of them sat, but ignored Harry and Ron completely. Instead, he turned to Hermione. "Wow. You really are as lovely as I was told," he said, gazing into her eyes.

"Told by who?" Hermione retorted.

"Oh, Viktor, you know. I'm a transfer student from Durmstrang, come here to finish out my last two years while playing for the Appleby Arrows."

"You're a Quidditch player?"

"Hermione..." Ron elbowed her, but she swatted him away.

The blonde boy sighed. "Yes. You see, my grandmother, who raised me, is very poor and she's going to have to sell her house. So I elected to move and play Quidditch professionally, so I can send her money."

"How noble," Hermione whispered. "What's your name?"

"Gary. Gary Stuart."

"Odd name, coming from Durmstrang," Ron muttered. Gary heard him.

"Oh, you see, my parents, God rest their souls, were American. When they died in that awful gas explosion, I was sent to Bulgaria with my grandmother. I was only four at the time."

"What a tragedy," Hermione murmured, shaking her head.

Ron made a disgusted face. "Shut up, will you? Dumbledore's going to speak."

They turned as Dumbledore stood up and began the start-of-term speech. "Greetings to all those returning, and to those who are new as well. A special greeting to my grand-niece who has finally transferred in, Kayla Renee Starflower!" A girl at the Ravenclaw table stood up and waved to scattered applause. Dumbledore went on. "I would also like to extend a special welcome to our new Defense Against The Dark Arts teacher, Professor Lilac Livingston!" A beautiful blonde woman stood up from the teacher's table and smiled to only slightly more applause than Kayla Renee had received.

Ron jabbed Harry's side with his elbow. "Harry, look at Snape!"

Harry glanced over to see their normally sour professor staring at Livingston with a look Harry had trouble placing on Snape's face. After a moment, he realized what it was. "Ron...you don't think he's...fallen for her?"

"She's got to be another Sue," Ron muttered.

"But isn't she too old for it?"

"Lupin said they could be any age, didn't he? Besides, they make you act differently. What could be more different for Snape than..." Ron gulped. "Falling in love with someone?"

Harry nodded. "You're probably right." Plates of food began appearing on the tables. Ron simply stared at it.

"What's the matter with you?" Harry asked.

"Thinking about Snape..." Ron shuddered. "I think I've lost my appetite." He glanced over at Hermione, who was now completely wrapped up in whatever Gary was saying. "And the two of them aren't helping a bit."

Harry sighed and reached for a bowl of potatoes. "I'd suggest you get used to it, Ron. These Sues aren't going anywhere." He glanced around. "Is it just me, or are there more than there were before?"

The Sues did seem to be multiplying. The tables were filled with girls who had hair longer than their skirts--all but Hufflepuff, which seemed to be entirely Sue-free.

Ron shook his head. "One's too many for me. I think I'm going to head on up to the dormitory."

"I'll be up in a bit," Harry called after him. "I'll bring you some food, okay?"

"Sure, whatever," Ron muttered, shooting another evil glare at Hermione and Gary.