Dumbledore, Please Explain Your Twisted Logic!

Disclaimer: Etc.

Warning: I have posted many warning throughout this story in regards to its content, but allow me to post another one. This chapter (admitted like all the others) have graphic sexual content, including an hair fetish. So brace yourselves, and please, er, try not to be offended. I don't mean to offend. Actually, I don't expect most of you to be offended (as I've said before, you've gotten this far...), but I decided it was only fair to post an extra warning.

Chapter Fifteen

Draco Cheater

The idea was disgusting. Pansy hated it with all her heart, and she swore never to do it again, but she decided to go through with it--just once, and then no more! Mere minutes after Goyle suggested the fetish, she traipsed saucily into Draco's room and passed along the idea. So Draco whipped out his penis and gave it a few pumps to get it hard, upon which he let Pansy guide the throbbing instrument to the side of her head. She swathed it in her silky black hair, and after a few minutes of fiddling around, she felt the hot liquid blast her scalp. It was a queer sort of feeling, and surprisingly, the tingling that it incited at the base of her hairs aroused her immensely. So she pulled her face out of Draco's thighbone and breathlessly asked him to bring her off with his mouth or at least his finger, but he refused.

"I'm tired, now," he whined. "Go to bed." And he pulled back the curtain and pushed her, protesting, off the side of his four-poster. Britney the cat ambled over to sniff at the semen that filled Pansy's hair, but the angry witch pushed her away and ran from the room, hot and bothered and angrily rubbing at her sticky head.

Thankfully, Pansy hadn't removed any of her clothes during the sexual escapade, so she was able to get from Draco's dormitory to hers without causing any commotion amongst the Slytherins who still wandered the halls. Once inside her room, she flopped onto her bed, drew the curtain, whipped her wand from her pocket, shoved it straight up her skirt, and cast a buzzing charm. At this moment, her wand wasn't as thick as she would like--but then again, her dildo was a lot deeper in her trunk than she would like, and she didn't feel like rooting through piles of books and trash to get to it. So she made do with the wand, while at the same time rubbing Draco's semen into her scalp. She pulled her hand away from her head so she could sniff the sex juices, and her hair followed in a trail of stickiness. The pungent odor flew up her nostrils and sent her other hand deeper up her skirt in an effort to connect the head of her wand with the tip of her clitoris. It worked, and in a few seconds she came.

After the fireworks and the heavy breathing, Pansy sagged back against the headboard and sighed. Suddenly she was as grossed out by the idea of semen in her hair as she had been when Gregory suggested it. Semen smelled so good when her vagina was begging for some, but after her clitoris was satisfied, the musk of spooj was repugnant. It smelled like old pancake batter, and it was a hell of a lot messier. It took her three tries to pull her cum-begrimed hair away from the palms of her hands, and afterwards the semen congealed in milky-white glops throughout her beautiful black tresses.

"Fuck," she griped as she heaved herself out of her bed. She went to the bathroom and washed her hands with extra soap. Then she started pulling the semen from her hair.

It took way too long. After five minutes, she transferred herself from the sink to the shower, and she spent another fifteen minutes leading the stubborn globules down the strands of her long locks and off the ends. Once she was pretty sure she had taken care of her hair, she washed it with extra shampoo and conditioner. Then she stopped the water and toweled herself dry. When she went to hang up her towel, she found to her dismay that two tiny balls of semen clung to its purple surface. Close scrutiny in the mirror showed three more specks of the offending substance in her damp hair. Growling to herself, she painstakingly pulled out the last bits of cum, one after the other, and stomped off to bed.

**********

Wouldn't you know it, but the next day Draco asked Pansy if he could cum in her hair again--twice!--once before breakfast, and once right after classes. Pansy acquiesced with ill grace, and Draco eagerly milked the semen into her scalp. Then he watched in especial amusement as Pansy tried to pull the sticky strands out of her dark locks. He asked her to eat one, but she refused. Britney, however, proved herself more than willing by hopping into Pansy's lap and lapping hungrily as she lifted her tail and exhibited her quivering privates. This time, Pansy wasn't aroused at all. However, she allowed the cat to clear up the remaining semen, as it seemed to be doing a better job than she ever could.

Much to Pansy' relief, Draco didn't ask to cum in her hair that night. Nor did he ask the next morning. In fact, he seemed to have mysteriously forgotten that he had even heard of the hair-cumming fetish in the first place.

He feels that he's practiced it enough, Pansy thought bitterly. So now he's going to try it on another girl. And I'm determined to catch him in the act.

**********

"You suggested it, I'm guessing," Draco said to Gregory as they put on their costumes. It was Wednesday afternoon, and they were in the dressing rooms at the beginning of play practice.

"Suggested what?"

"Me cumming in Pansy's hair."

"Oh, yeah," Gregory said. "Yeah. Did you like it?"

"Fuck, yes!" Draco breathed heavily. "Fucking Merlin, it was the kinkiest thing I've ever done...! No... wait, the kinkiest thing I've ever done and enjoyed." He obviously hadn't forgotten about the poop incident.

"So it's going to become a regular thing between the two of you, I suppose," Gregory said, a little shrewdly. "I'm going to have to put up with her barging into the dormitory every night so you can glue her hair together with your cum, and then I'll have to sit on my bed and listen to her grunts of frustration as tries to pull it all off her scalp. Gee, I'm really looking forward to it."

"Are you crazy?" Draco said, waving a hand at his friend. "I'm not scalp-fucking her again tonight. Nah, I'm going after someone else."

"Oh, one of those things again," Gregory said with a sigh. He was done putting on his costume, but he still hung behind as Draco did up his boots. "Who's the lucky girl this time?"

"Guess."

"Trelawney."

"No, I don't want to risk grossing her out--I'm having much too fun with her falling in love with me."

"Okay, I give up."

Draco finished putting on his boots, but they stayed behind anyway. "You fucking loser," he snorted, "giving up so easily. C'mon, think! I'm going to be cumming into someone's hair."

"Yeah..." Gregory said, waving at Draco to continue. "I know that already."

"The more hair, the better it is when the semen comes out."

"I suppose. I've never tried it."

"Believe me, it'll be better with more hair," Draco said, grinning. "If Pansy had a hard time picking it out, just wait until she... Ah, but you don't know who she is, do you?"

"I would if you told me," Gregory said only somewhat patiently.

"I just said it: I want more hair... Who has the biggest head of hair in the school?"

"Uh... Dumbledore?"

Draco tutted in annoyance. "Besides Dumbledore. Just a hint: it's a she--not a he--with a head like a bush."

Gregory's eyes widened. "You can't mean...!"

"You bet," Draco said smugly, striking a haughty pose. "I'm going to scalp-fuck Hermione Granger."

The other actors had finished dressing and left the room, so the place was silent. Gregory's jaw didn't exactly drop, but rather his mouth opened slowly as he stared, disbelieving, at his best friend. He had known Draco to go to all sorts of extreme lengths to get sexual thrills: that he would actually agree to let Pansy poop in his mouth proved that very point. That he would chase after Euan Abercrombie proved the point even more. That he would even seriously consider fucking Trelawney, not to mentioned going through with it, well...! Goyle hoped it would never go farther than that.

But chasing after Hermione Granger? Draco hated Hermione, and he always had. To him, she was the Mudblood who upstaged him in front of his teachers and his once-unjailed father. To him, she was yet another Gryffindor who he couldn't stand and who, in turn, couldn't stand him. To him, she was a battle hero who had fought for her life and the lives of her friends when he was busy hiding in his dormitory. She was everything he hated, and she would probably say the same about him. And he actually wanted to chase after her!

And for what? Because she had a huge hairdo in which he wanted to cum. For some reason, Gregory didn't find that a good enough reason for Draco to go after Hermione. And he decided he'd say so.

"Look, Draco," Goyle began. "This is... totally insane. Hermione is... she's... Ah, fuck it." He decided to shut up. There was no way he was going to change the mind of an already-convinced kink freak. Draco's heart (or perhaps just his cock) was set on Hermione Granger, and all Gregory could do was bunker down and wait for the whole fiasco to blow over.

"Glad you see things my way," Draco grinned. "Now let's go out and practice, and watch me woo Hermione with my charm! No girl has yet been able to withstand it, and I don't intend for her to be the first."

And Draco traipsed from the dressing room, leaving Goyle sitting shell-shocked and alone on one of the benches against the wall. He brushed against a cloak that hung on its rack, and it fell silently to the floor.

You know what? He thought. I don't want to bunker down and wait for this to blow over. Hermione doesn't deserve to be used like this, and I'm not going to let Draco do it.

Suddenly and decisively, he stood up and marched from the dressing room. Out on the stage Dumbledore was choreographing a battle scene with Loser and some blood-bespattered extras. Hermione gabbled with Harry and Ron, while Draco sulked a few feet behind them. Apparently he had tried to chat up Hermione and had been thoroughly rebuffed.

The question is, Goyle thought, how do I separate her from her friends without Draco seeing me? He thought hard for a quick moment, then ducked into the makeup station situated between the two dressing rooms.

Just as he surmised, Ginny was in there, busily rearranging the makeup. Goyle hastened to her side and said, "Uh..."

Ginny started in shock. She turned around and started again. "Goyle!" she gasped. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Uh... makeup," Goyle said.

She sighed, longsuffering, and motioned to one of the stools that lined the makeup counter. "Sit down, then."

"First get Hermione in here," Gregory said. "And make it fast."

"What? Why?" Ginny's eyebrows knitted together in confusion and mistrust.

"It's an emergency. There's a problem that needs ameliorating, and I need to tell Hermione about it immediately. Please, just trust me. And if you don't, just remember that I'm not stupid enough to cross the smartest witch and the most dangerous witch in the school at the same time."

"Uh..." Ginny clearly didn't know what to say. Not only was Goyle, a Slytherin, asking urgently to speak to her best friend, but he was also using a vocabulary that extended beyond one-syllable grunts. And he was claiming not to be stupid.

"Go!" Goyle shooed her from the room, and she quickly ran out onto the stage. He retreated back to the makeup counter, hoping that Draco never noticed him go in here.

Ginny returned a minute later with Hermione. The bushy-haired brunette looked a lot more worried than the redhead, who simply looking confused. Hermione strode over to the makeup station and sat down beside Goyle, and Ginny tiptoed over and quietly began to powder Goyle's face.

"What is it, Gregory?" Hermione asked. Ginny dropped the brush, and it tinkled against the stone floor.

"You called him Gregory!" Ginny gasped.

"I needed to warn you," Gregory said, "that Malfoy is dead set on cumming in your hair."

This time Ginny dropped the powder, and it crashed to the ground, turning the stones white and raising a small cloud around their ankles.

Hermione's jaw didn't drop, nor did her mouth open, but her eyebrows disappeared behind her bangs, and she stared at Goyle, as clearly disbelieving as he had been earlier. "Malfoy wants to cum in my hair? Awful specific, isn't he?"

"Yeah," Gregory said apologetically. "He's like that."

"What's next, Draco the Sadean Libertine?" Hermione said wonderingly, shaking her head. "Maybe tomorrow he'll be asking little girls to vomit in his mouth, then chase it down with an enema out their arses."

Ginny made a strangled gasp that sounded a bit like "EEP," but when Goyle turned around to see how she was holding up, she had disappeared entirely.

He turned back to Hermione and grinned. "I think you're my hero. I never thought I'd ever meet another person who's read Marquis de Sade."

"Mmm, I don't know," Hermione said casually. "I'll bet you ten galleons that Dumbledore's read it, too."

"And I will not take you up on that bet," Gregory replied, "because you're probably right."

"Back to the Malfoy hair fetish thing," Hermione said. "Why are you telling me?"

Gregory shifted nervously on the stool. "Well, partly because I don't believe anyone should be submitted to that indignity--least of all you. And also because, well, I think it's kinda my fault."

"How in Merlin's name is it your fault?" Hermione asked. "You aren't egging him on, are you?"

"Well, no," Gregory said slowly, "but I suggested the fetish to Pansy, who in turn did it with Draco, who now wants to try it out on a fresh batch of girls. Damn, I really should drop him! I don't know why he's my best friend--he's such a chauvinist pig and a cheater, too. If he's so disloyal to Pansy, how do I know that he won't turn on me, too? I wish I wouldn't stand for it, but, well... I do. Huh, it's probably because he's my only friend." He sighed softly and beat the counter absently with his fist.

"Hey, I'm your friend, too," Hermione said softly. "A very, very new friend, but I'm still a friend. And I don't blame you for Draco's stupid ideas."

"Thanks," Gregory said sincerely but dejectedly.

"The only question is, what's the best way to resist him and keep him away permanently? Do you think Pansy could hold him back?"

Gregory shrugged. "I doubt it," he said honestly, "but we could try."

Pansy was neither part of the cast nor crew, so Gregory and Hermione had to get through the play practice despite their agitation. The second Dumbledore let them leave, Hermione headed for the library while Gregory swung by the Slytherin dormitories to fetch Pansy.

"Pansy, I need your help with something," Gregory said when he met her in her room. "It's about Draco."

She stood in front of her mirror, doing up her hair. "Does it have anything to do with the poor girl he plans to scalp-fuck?"

"What?" Gregory said, shocked at Pansy's sudden intuition. "So you did realize? How did you--?"

"How did I know?" Pansy asked as she turned around to face Goyle, her face twisted in a tightly controlled fury. "How did I not know? Tell the girl that there's no way she can keep Draco off of her because he's a complete sex freak and I don't fucking care anymore!"

"What?" Gregory said again, slapping himself mentally for sounding so dumb.

"No, wait, take me to her," Pansy said, suddenly changing her tone. "She might as well know that she'll never get to feel Draco's warm semen against her scalp. It'll be disappointing, I'm sure, but not nearly as disappointing as when I interrupt them before Draco comes off."

"So..." Gregory said softly. "So you knew that Draco was cheating on you?"

"Sure I know," Pansy said bitterly. "I just don't know how long and with how many girls."

Gregory took a deep breath and let it out again. "The girl's in the library, by the way. Let's get going. And as for Draco's cheating habits... you don't want to know."

"Yes, I do," Pansy said calmly and coldly. They left her dormitory and strode through the Common Room, and Gregory tried to string enough "ers" and "ums" together to get them out into the hall before dropping the bombshell.

"How long it's been going on, you wanted to know? I'd say... about three years. Ever since you two got together."

"What the FUCK?" Pansy yelled, stopping dead in her tracks. "Ever since we... Goyle, tell me you're fucking joking!"

"Uh, I'm sorry," Gregory whispered. "I truly am."

"Ever since we got togeth--?" she whipped her head away from Goyle, her fists clenched painfully tight. "Fuck him, fuck him, fuck him!"

"Look, it's not because you're bad or anything," Gregory said quickly. "I swear, none of it's your fault. You were a really good girlfriend!"

"Of course I was!" Pansy shouted tragically. "I did everything he told me to, I agreed to all his stupid ideas, I left him alone when he wanted to be alone, when I really wanted to spend more time to get to know him better! I let him cum in my fucking hair, for Merlin's cunting sake! I took a shit in his mouth! I was a cunting whore for him!"

She took a deep shuddering breath, and Goyle took the break in her raging to lay a hand on her shoulder and whisper a meek, "I'm sorry."

"Not as sorry as I am!" Pansy snarled. "When I catch him in the act, he's going to pay! I'll have him crying so hard he'll squirt tears out his arse."

They began walking again, Pansy still breathing heavily. After a few more hallways, she asked, "How many?"

"How many... people has he been with?" Gregory said, drawing out each word in order to delay the inevitable. "While he was with you, you mean?" He began counting in his head, which took another minute and another hallway. The longer he took, the more sour Pansy looked.

"I'd say at least, um, twelve," Gregory said. "Wait... no, yeah. Twelve boys. There's no way I can count all the girls."

Pansy stopped again, took out her wand, and, yelling inarticulately, slashed a curse at a nearby statue of a nude Roman god. What had been a crowning achievement of Renaissance sculpture just moments before was now a fine pile of dust. Pansy whirled to face Goyle, who backed away quickly and fearfully. She looked ready to yell at him some more, but when she opened her mouth, no sound came out. She turned away from him and began walking rapidly in the direction of the library.

"Pansy?" Gregory cried, running to keep up. "Pansy, are you okay?"

"I'm not going to say a fucking word," Pansy replied fiercely, her voice low, "because there isn't a word in the entire dictionary that could describe how utterly not okay I feel right now."

And that was that. She didn't speak again until they reached the library, and Gregory didn't even think about wanting to think about forcing her.

They entered the library, and Gregory saw Hermione right off, sitting by herself at a table, working diligently on her Arithmancy project. She looked up and waved when he came in with Pansy.

"Granger?" Pansy cried, dodging the Silencing Spell that Madam Pince cast at her. "What the fuck is wrong with him?"

"Ssssshhh!" Hermione said quickly, running over to the two of them. "Madam Pince'll have our necks if we don't keep it down."

So they ran down the shelves to a more secluded portion of the library, a part away from the students and away from Madam Pince's interference. They found a quiet spot between the 1300's Botany shelf and the Dangerous Creatures shelf, and they all took a seat on the cold wood floor.

"Are you going to protect me from Malfoy?" Hermione asked Pansy, her tone frosty but businesslike.

"So you don't want him to cum in your hair?" Pansy said, her voice laden with sarcasm.

"I'd rather keep my head semen-free."

"I wonder why," Pansy said delicately. "I think it might be the first thing to actually keep your hair down."

"Har har," Hermione said, scowling at the Slytherin girl. "Malfoy is actively trying to squirt his seed all over my head. Now is not the time for jokes."

Goyle leaned forward and waved his arms, trying to calm them down. "C'mon now, let's all get along," he entreated. "We all have a problem with this matter, and I think it'd be best if we worked together to fix it."

"Fix it!" Pansy half-laughed, half-sobbed. "My boyfriend is changing girls like he's changing underwear! Tell me how exactly I can fix that, and I'll give you an Order of Merlin."

"Okay, so you can't fix it," Gregory conceded with a sigh. "But you're going to catch him red-handed and break up with him."

"Red-handed?" Hermione scoffed. "Try red-cocked."

"Right," Pansy said sourly. "Here's the deal, Granger. If you so desperately want Draco off your back, you have to help us."

"Us?" Goyle said in alarm.

"Yeah, you're helping me, too," Pansy snapped at him.

"Can't I just tell Malfoy where to shove it?" Hermione asked, crossing her arms.

"Sure you can," Pansy agreed. "But he's fucking persistent, and after six or seven times you'll get awfully tired of him."

"But what if I don't want to help you?" Hermione sniffed. "I don't fancy coming to the aid of someone who's been calling me Mudblood for the past seven years."

"Gregory's been the doing the same thing, and you don't seem to mind helping him!" Pansy said defensively.

"No, he hasn't," Hermione disagreed. "All he did was grunt and guffaw."

"You just like him because he's smart!" Pansy accused, pointing her finger at the bushy-haired Gryffindor. "If he didn't know so damn much, you wouldn't have made friends with him!"

"You say that like it's a bad thing!" Gregory and Hermione said at the same time. Pansy rolled her eyes and scowled.

For a second the three of them didn't say anything. Pansy fumed to herself, and Hermione glared at her defiantly, so Gregory took it upon himself to break the silence. "Look, guys, we've had our differences in the past--a buttload of them, too--but now's the time to work together and get what we want. I mean, we're all of age."

"And we should act like it," Hermione said, snapping into her businesslike tone again. "You're right, Gregory." She turned primly to Pansy and said, "All right, then, Parkinson, I'll help you out, if you promise to keep your soon-to-be ex-boyfriend off of me. But I'm not doing this out of charity--it's strictly business."

"I'm perfectly aware of that, Granger," Pansy replied coolly. "Don't forget that I'm a Slytherin, and I don't give or take anything for free. Now let's cut to the chase and go over the plan."

**********

That evening at dinner, Gregory Goyle took a seat beside Draco Malfoy and dished himself some roasted chicken, red potatoes, and asparagus. He then turned to Draco and asked, "Where's Pansy?"

"She said she wasn't hungry," came the reply. "Probably she's on another diet again. Huh, she thinks getting skinnier will make me like her more! Girls crack me up sometimes."

"Haha," Gregory said bleakly. "Speaking of girls, guess what I found out?"

"That you are one?"

"Very funny," Goyle said sarcastically, flicking a bit of potato at his blond-haired friend. It missed. "No, I was talking with Hermione today, and she said she was spending all evening studying in the Restricted Section of the library."

"The Restricted Section?" Malfoy said, raising his eyebrows. "What for?"

"Technically, it's for her Arithmancy project," Gregory said, "but let's face it: The teachers love her so much that she could live in the Restricted Section and they wouldn't stop her."

"So why are you telling me all this?" Draco asked before swallowing a forkful of broiled duck.

"You still want to cum in her hair, don't you?" Gregory said.

"Duh," Draco replied witheringly. "But don't you realize I can't just go up to her and bang her scalp? She probably hasn't even considered doing normal sex with me."

"That's not what I heard," Gregory said smugly. "The way she was speaking today, you would've thought it was her lifelong dream to be taken from behind and in front and on top and everywhere else by the sex god Draco Malfoy."

"Did she say anything about cumming in her hair, though?" Draco said. "I'll bet she didn't!"

"Actually, she reads the same books I read," Gregory said, "so she knows about the hair cumming fetish. And she's actively searching for someone who's willing to try it with her."

"Wow," Malfoy whispered, his eyes suddenly going wide at the thought. He massaged his crotch absently and said, his voice husky, "So... all evening, you said?"

"She'll be there," Goyle promised. "I suppose, though, you'll want your usual warm-up?"

"But of course," Draco replied. And he finished his dinner in record time.

Two minutes later, Gregory excused himself from the table and strode quickly out of the Great Hall. Pansy was waiting just outside the double doors, her eyes glinting like ice. "He took the bait," he told her.

"And I've got the Invisibility Cloak," Pansy said, only betraying an emotion of severe determination. She turned over to one of the statues in the Entrance Hall and waved, and Luna Lovegood and Harry Potter scuttled out from behind it. Hermione had agreed to the plan only on the condition that Harry would help mediate the more extreme aspects, and Luna happened to be around when they offered him his part in the plot. So here they all were, and here was the Invisibility Cloak, tucked firmly under Harry's arm.

"I don't need it," Harry told them. "I learned a spell for the final battle that can turn me invisible. Dumbledore himself taught it to me."

"Before he started going crazy, I hope," Pansy said dryly.

"Dumbledore's very intelligent," Luna said, mildly insistent. "He knows some powerful magic."

"It doesn't make him any less loony," Pansy replied with a sneer. Obviously the topic of Dumbledore only exacerbated her bad mood.

Goyle felt the need to interrupt in order to head off an argument. "So Pansy will take the Invisibility Cloak, Harry will use his spell, and Luna and I will follow at a distance.

"The Cockmice will help us," Luna said assuredly as she twirled a lock of her hair around her pinkie.

"There are no such things," Pansy snapped.

"They're infinitesimal beings that float free through the air around us," Luna told Gregory while ignoring Pansy. "When they smell semen, they become excited, and if you listen hard enough you can hear their whispers as they pass along a chain of directions to the nearest buildup."

"Uh, okay," Gregory said politely. "Whatever you say." He shot Pansy a quick glare, trying to keep her from asking Luna sarcastic questions. "Pansy, get under the Invisibility Cloak. Harry, use that spell. Luna, you can, um..."

"I'll follow the Cockmice," she replied briskly, "at a distance. You can stay with me, because I doubt the Cloak would fit both you and Pansy."

"Right," Goyle said, a bit doubtfully. "Now let's hide and wait for Draco to leave the Great Hall."

So Pansy slipped on the Invisibility Cloak, and Harry waved his wand and vanished into the still air around them. Goyle and Luna had to make do with ducking behind a statue. There they waited for a boring, uncomfortable minute until the double doors burst open and Draco Malfoy strode through. The blond-haired Slytherin set off down the corridors at an eager pace, casting a few quick grooming spells on himself. He had just finished a Breath-Freshening Charm when he stopped suddenly and entered a deserted room. He put forth a hand to close the door, but Harry, being an expert in invisible maneuvering, put his foot in the way. Draco swung the door closed, but inches away from the jamb it bounced opened again. So Draco tried harder, and once again the door refused to shut. After a few more tries, each more furious than the next, he gave up and went deeper into the empty room.

Harry and Pansy sneaked in while Goyle and Luna peeked through the cracks between the hinges. One look told them all that the room was not as empty as they had presupposed. A girl was in there--a seventh year with beautiful brown hair and a cold smile. "You wanted to meet me here, Draco?" she asked. The four eavesdroppers tried not to gasp as they realized it was Susan.

"You bet, my darling," Draco whispered back. He took her hands gently in his own. "I just wanted to see you again--you know I much I love seeing you."

Susan grinned happily, eagerly drinking up the compliment. "You know, Draco Malfoy, I think I like seeing you, too!" she replied, giggling.

"You should," Draco replied smoothly as he let his hand travel up her arm. "I can make your entire world, if you'd let me."

"Mmm, Draco, I don't know," she whispered softly. "I'm with Edmund. I really shouldn't be doing this."

"Hey, if you're not happy with your boyfriend, you can always break up with him," Draco said teasingly. Susan managed a half-laugh, and Draco added, "But seriously, I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable. I just want to give you a kiss. A kiss and no more--I promise."

Susan flounced a little and said, a bit whiny, "Noooo, Draco. I don't think I should." She sounded sorely tempted.

"C'mon," Draco coaxed her quietly. "In many cultures, a kiss is a way of greeting. Let's just pretend we're greeting each other. I'll start: Hello, Susan."

A grin slowly spread across Susan's face as she replied, "Hello, Draco."

"And now," Draco instructed, "we kiss. Like this." He then proceeded to "greet" her with much enthusiasm and lots of tongue. She made a pleased noise in the back of her throat and copied his actions.

As they continued to kiss, Goyle felt an invisible person breathing on him between the door, and he heard Pansy hiss at him, "What about Hermione?"

"Just wait," Goyle whispered uncomfortably. "Draco likes to, er, build himself up before, er..."

"Right," Pansy whispered fiercely back.

Draco broke the kiss. He gazed fondly into Susan's eyes and said, "Now, my dear, I must leave you."

"What?" Susan cried at the sudden end to the kiss and the sudden leave-taking of her new crush. "We only just started."

"I told you it'd be no more than a kiss," Draco said lovingly. "I don't want to rush things: I want it to be special, for both of us. And I've really got to get going, because I told Pansy I'd meet her in five minutes. And you know how ornery that girl can be."

Were it not for the plan, Goyle was sure Pansy would have leaped out from under the Cloak and cursed both Draco and Susan into a pile of slimy bits, but she apparently refrained herself, for the room around Draco and Susan remained undisturbed.

Draco gave Susan one last quick kiss and then ran off. Pansy and Harry followed him closely, while Luna and Goyle trailed at a distance. At one moment Draco disappeared down a hallway, and Gregory was sure they had lost him, but Luna perked up her ears and said, "The Cockmice are going left, towards the Charms corridor." And she set off at a hopskip, leaving a confused Goyle to follow at a jog.

Draco met Cho Chang right outside the Charms classroom. She had ditched her school robes and wore a sleeveless top with a jutting neckline and a miniscule skirt that displayed every inch of her gorgeous legs. Draco gave her a quick kiss on the lips and wasted no time in dropping to his knees so as to give those long, tan legs more attention. Whenever his nose tickled the hem of her skirt, it lifted ever so slightly to reveal a sudden flash of racy red underwear. Over around the corner of the hallway, Gregory gaped at the pair, not quite believing Draco's audacity and feeling more than a bit sorry for Pansy. Draco prattled constantly about his sexual adventures, but for all that talk, Gregory had never actually seen his friend act it out. Most of the time it sounded like exaggeration, but Goyle was dismayed to find out every word of it was true. When Draco tickled the edge of Cho's panties with her teeth, she moaned and pressed his head harder into her flesh. When he lay a hand on her arse, she leaned into it and ground her buttcheeks into his skilful fingers. These girls threw themselves on Draco and followed along with whatever he wanted to do.

Somewhere in the kerfluffle, Cho's underwear disappeared, and the previous flashes or red became flashes of downy black. Gregory forced himself to turn away in order to protect Cho's dignity, but Luna kept watching curiously, and Draco, completely unaware that any such thing as dignity even existed, buried his face determinedly between the Asian girl's legs.

Gregory was too far away to see what exactly Draco was doing to stimulate Cho, but she came a few seconds later. Then Draco made some excuse about having to get back to Pansy, and he parted with declarations of undying life, which Cho stupidly swallowed.

After this, Draco scampered away towards the library. Perhaps he's going to try to scalp-fuck Hermione now, Gregory figured as he, Luna, Pansy, and Harry trailed after the Slytherin sex freak. I hope for Pansy's sake he is, so she can get this over with. He was wrong, however. Halfway there, Draco dodged into a supply closet, where an eager Euan Abercrombie was waiting for him. Before Harry could do anything about it, Draco had dragged the boy into the closet and closed the door.

"Damn it," Gregory heard him hiss. "Sorry, Parkinson."

Pansy didn't reply; she was probably too upset over the whole ordeal, and Gregory couldn't blame her. Watching your boyfriend sex up a long line of people in one night couldn't be high on any girl's wish list.

Though they didn't see anything this time, the four eavesdroppers heard plenty of moaning and sucking, and in a few minutes they heard the little Abercrombie kid cry out in ecstasy. Draco stumbled out of the closet moments later, still gargling a mouthful of semen. He swirled his finger around in his gums and grinned messily.

Maybe now he's going to the library, Gregory thought uncomfortably. And, to his eternal relief, he was right.

~~~~~

Hermione waited impatiently as the hands on her watch edged towards 7:30. If Gregory had gone to tell Draco about her an hour ago, then he should be here by now. She was eager to get this over with, because she seriously did not find anything exciting about a blond-haired Slytherin trying to cum in her hair. She only hoped Pansy would stop him before he managed to touch her with his--she gritted her teeth at the thought--engorged penis.

At that moment, Draco came strolling down the aisles, his movements twitchy with excitement and his pants bulging. "So, Granger," he said without preamble. "I hear... that you're interested in doing things."

"Doing things?" Hermione purred in her best imitation of a seductress. "What, like feeling you make my body wet?"

"Yes," Draco said, his breath short. His brain must have clearly been in his penis right then, because Hermione thought she was doing a bad job at her part.

"Then cum on me," she said throatily. "Cum in my hair."

"Okay," Draco gulped, his stomach drawn in tight and his breath drawn up short.

The funny thing about miserable experiences is that they seem to take so much longer than they actually do. Draco had his penis out of his trousers in three seconds, but to Hermione it seemed like an age. She saw his finger expertly undo the button, and she saw the reddish-blond pubic hair fluff out as the zipper parted. Then his hands worked his pants slowly down his hips, and out sproinged the monstrous beast. For a second Hermione actually shrunk away from it, so alarmed was she.

"You like it?" Draco whispered huskily.

Hermione gulped and whispered, "Do the words sopping wet pussy mean anything to you?"

Draco grinned and said, "They sure do."

Come here soon, Pansy! Hermione pleaded silently. Please, Pansy, stop your boyfriend before that huge cock of his touches my head!

Hermione wanted to look away from the nakedness of her archenemy, but she forced herself not to. It was a magnificent penis to be sure--Ron's hadn't been bad at all, but if it had been as big as this, she might have had sex with him before they broke up--but she hated the man attached to it, and thus it lost any glory that it might have gained from its prodigious size. Instead, it looked like a thick hypodermic needle, filled and prepared to stick itself into her and pump her full of fluid. She had already seen more of it than she ever wanted to see.

"I'm going to cum in that bush of yours!" Draco crooned excitedly, and Hermione knew he was speaking in earnest. A drip shivered unpleasantly at the end of his bulbous head.

Pansy! Hermione cried mentally. Please, interrupt this NOW!

Draco's penis was now inches away from her cheek. She put her hair in its line of fire, thus successfully getting her mouth and face out of harm's way. It didn't make her feel any safer. She felt a throbbing presence tickle the edge of her bushy brown hair, and she felt like screaming.

Just as Draco was getting ready to dig his penis into Hermione's scalp, a sudden noise caused him to stop short. At the same time Pansy jumped out from behind the nearest shelf and cried, triumphantly and tragically, "HA!" Draco gaped at her, his penis still aloft and his face filled with all the guilt of a little boy caught with his hand in the cookie jar. This situation, however, carried much more dire consequences.

"HA!" Pansy cried again. "This is over, Draco! We're through!"

"No, I can explain!" Draco said quickly. "I was helping Hermione with homework, and she needed, um... she needed me to talk about someone I loved--something to do with emotional reaction to spells and her Arithmancy project. So I talked about you, and I got hard thinking about you, and..."

Pansy reached out and slapped Draco across the face. "You fucking liar," she snarled. "You hate Hermione even more than you hate me."

"He is lying," Hermione put in sincerely. "He actually wanted to cum in my hair."

"No, I didn't!" Draco insisted.

Pansy cast a Bludgeoning Hex that sent him reeling into the shelves. "Shut the fuck up!" she yelled. "I thought you might be a good man, perhaps even the perfect man for me. I thought maybe you'd treat me well if I loved you, but you haven't! I'm just like any other girl you fuck--I'm a receptacle for your semen. I'm one of your many whores.

"And yet it's worse! Out of all your playthings, I was the one you chose to elevate to the disgraceful status of girlfriend. I was the one who held onto your arm in the hallways and kissed you in public. And I was the one everyone pointed and laughed at, as they whispered, 'Look, there's the girlfriend of Draco Malfoy the sex god. I'll bet she doesn't know he cheats on her every single day, five girls at a time.' You, Draco, are worse than a liar--you're a cheater: You've cheated with my life and my happiness. And now that I've finally caught you, I'm going to give you the punishment every cheater gets: a zero. You and me spend zero time together, we give each other zero help, and we kiss and fuck a grand total of zero times all the way until we die! Because that's what our relationship is: a zero. Fuck, I should have never gone out with you in the first place."

"I should have never gone out with you," Draco retorted hotly. He had forgotten that his penis still hung outside his jeans, though it had now fallen to half-mast.

"And I'm going to find every girl you ever fucked and tell them that they're all semen receptacles and that they shouldn't hope for any sort of feeling from the likes of you. I hope it'll keep you from ever finding another girl! In fact, I hope you die alone without any family."

Hermione quickly and quietly excused herself from the blowup and headed over to the next shelf, where Goyle, Luna, and Harry all stood, peeking at Pansy and Draco through the books.

"So whose idea was it to let Malfoy's penis get so close to my poor hair?" Hermione said indignantly.

"Pansy's," Gregory said sourly. "I tried to get her to interrupt, but she refused until that thing was practically on your scalp. I was furious."

"Furious?" Hermione said curiously. "About what?"

"About the thought of Malfoy doing that to you," Gregory said. "I should have refused to let you be part of the plan at all."

"No, it's all right," Hermione said quickly, giving him a small hug. "I was just a bit shaken. Anyway, we busted Malfoy and his cheating binge, didn't we?"

"Yeah, I suppose," Gregory said with a sigh. "But it won't stop him from having sex with everything that moves. Now, he'll be a nymphomaniac instead of a nymphomaniac cheater. I don't think it's much of an improvement, especially since it wasn't voluntary on his part."

"Let's forget about him," Hermione said gently. "Draco's currently getting properly castigated and cursed by his ex-girlfriend. It should be something he won't forget in a hurry. In fact, he might learn something from it."

"Huh, maybe," Gregory shrugged. "Look, let's go to the other side of the library, and we can do some of our homework."

"Um..." Hermione turned to look at Luna and Harry. "Do you guys...?"

"No, we don't mind," Harry said quickly. "Go do homework with him."

"You sure?" Hermione said quickly, clearly hoping they were.

Harry grinned. "Think about what makes you happy," he said sagely. She smiled sweetly and thanked him. And then she pattered off after Goyle.

"What a sweet couple," Luna said serenely. "I never knew Gregory was so smart."

"Hey, it was just as much a surprise for me as it was for you," Harry said, grinning. "But if he is so smart, then well... He'll be good for Hermione, I think. Even though he is a Slytherin"

"Of course," Luna said. "The Heebripple agrees." After making this statement like it was a law, she skipped down the shelves and out of the library. Harry watched her go with a silly grin on his face. Damn, he loved Luna! And when he used the word love, here he wasn't sure it meant he was "in love" with her, though a few more months could bring it into fruition. Rather, he loved Luna in that he wanted to spend more time to get to know her. He had fought with her in the Department of Mysteries, and he'd trained with her for the last battle, but that wasn't nearly enough to satisfy him. He wanted her to be his girlfriend--better yet, it appeared she wanted the same thing.

The question was this: How to dump Ginny? When Luna finally disappeared from view, Harry turned around to finish watching Malfoy and Pansy's breakup argument, mentally making notes on what to avoid when his current relationship came to an end.

A/N: You know the part where I describe Draco, saying: "a drip shivered unpleasantly on the end of his bulbous head." Well, I totally scabbed that from Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, in the part where Filch has a headcold in the deathday chapter. The original line is: "a drip shivered unpleasantly on the end of his bulbous nose." I've always wanted to pervert that line, but I've never gotten the chance until now!

Also, allow me to disclaim Marquis de Sade once again. The hair fetish I got from The 120 Days of Sodom, which I once again suggest that most of you skip, or else only read a two- or three-page excerpt. It's not worth your time unless you're someone like me who wants to have the distinction of having actually slogged through it. :D You're better off watching Pier Paolo Pasolini's movie adaptation, which has just been rereleased by Criterion, and now only costs $30 instead of $600. It's a lot less graphic, but also a lot more disturbing.

Sorry, little tangent there. Anyway, thanks again to my beta, Lisa725. And thanks to all those who have reviewed so far, and thanks to those who plan to review this chapter once they are done (hint hint). Sorry that this chapter wasn't up sooner, but Chapter 16 is also back from my beta, and it'll be up in a few days. Heck, it could be up tomorrow if I wanted it to be, but I never release two chapters in such close conjunction.