HP and Hermione's Insatiable Appetite for Quidditch Players

There was quite an eruption of curious tittering throughout the room. Harry, wishing to know what was going on, slipped out of the crowd, leaving Ron and Hermione to stare at each other with their glazed eyes. Harry stood on the other side of the door and pushed it open a bit so that he could hear Snape admonishing Malfoy.

"...And what's further, Mr. Malfoya," Snape was hissing, " How could you reveal my middle name to a group of students, and Hufflepuffs to boot!" Harry couldn't see anything, but he was almost sure that Malfoya was grinning.

"Well, Sevvie, at least I'm not in there, seducing Potter! Which brings me to a point. You specifically told me this morning that you wouldn't stop me if I decided to go through with my 'song and dance'!"

Snape sighed. "But will you give Potter more of the love disease tonight?"

Harry heard Malfoya making a reproving sound. "Of course not. At least, I don't think so. I don't want to seduce any one single person tonight, I want to seduce the world with my songs and dance numbers! What do you think? Did you see me? Do you think I have a shot at the big time?"

Snape was rendered speechless at Malfoy's sudden questioning. "Mr. Malfoy...a, are you asking me for my opinion?"

Malfoya nodded his head.

"Because if you are, I'm not entirely sure I can be the one to give you an expert opinion. But as I happened to be present at last week's show..."

Harry found this extremely strange. Why did he have the feeling that Gryffindor and Ravenclaw were the only groups of people in the whole of Hogwarts that had no idea about this... cabaret of sorts? Harry snapped back to the conversation.

"I saw your closing act and thought it was rather good. Are you thinking of going into entertainment?"

Malfoya scoffed. "Well, of course, you dumbass. Did you think I would waste all this talent on working for the Ministry of Magic? Plus, after the success of Ten-Sickle Hooker here at Hogwarts, I think it has a fair chance in the Diagon Alley Opera House."

Snape laughed. "Well, Mr. Malfoya, you certainly are quite inventive.

" I would like to thank you for providing me with Friday night entertainment. It most certainly lives up to what it promises!"

Malfoya smirked. "Ah, yes. 'Ten-Sickle Hooker!' The best opera about hookers in years!'"

They both laughed and sighed. "Thank you kindly, Mr. Malfoya, for not seducing Potter. That would have been most disastrous. You know, I may give my students a hard time, but I think that they are all good people on the inside."

Malfoy furrowed his eyebrows. "Do you mean that, Professor?"

Snape guffawed. "Of course I don't mean it, Mr. Malfoya." Harry smiled. Snape could never like his students, except for Malfoy and his group.

Snape was about to walk back in to the room to see the rest of the show, but Malfoya stopped him. "Uh, Professor?"

Snape turned around. "Yes, Mr. Malfoya?"

Malfoy smiled. " You told me earlier today that you were strictly heterosexual, but come on, let's face facts. You can't possibly like the cabaret without having a small attraction to the same sex."

Snape grinned. "Well, I do admit that I enjoy some experimentation... that is what potions are all about... experimenting. So you might say, yes... every once in a while I do enjoy perusing the same sex."

Malfoya laughed. "Haha, sex. Okie Dokie!"

Their voices came closer to the door Harry was standing behind, so he ducked into the shadows. When Malfoya and Snape had re-entered and passed him, he slipped back into his seat on the floor. Ron and Hermione hadn't even noticed he had left. Malfoya appeared back onstage, and the crowd went wild.

"This next song is a little ditty about our dear Alma Mater, Hogwarts. It's a muggle parody, but I think you'll like it." The piano man struck up a very big band song, and Malfoya took the voice enhancer and began to sway and dance to the music. And then he sang a song that Harry found very familiar. Well, he found the tune familiar, anyways.

"Start spreadin' the news! I'm leavin' today! I want to be part of it! Hogwarts Hogwarts! I wanna wake up in a castle that never sleeps!"

The song went on. And when it stopped, the crowd went wild. Malfoya followed with Ten-Sickle Hooker, and had to do an encore several times before turning the house lights back on.

The students began to file out of the stands, and Harry went over to Malfoya. "You were wonderful, you know, Malfoya."

Malfoya smiled, obviously pleased. "Thank you, Potter. You look splendid this evening. And there's no need to call me Malfoya outside of these walls, I'm just Malfoy come class on Monday. You see, we generally don't let Gryffindors or Ravenclaws into our cabarets, because they just don't understand the meaning of freedom. Sure, they're generally the smartest of the bunch, but still. They detest us, so we detest them. Too goody-goody, if you ask me.

"But there are some exceptions we make. Two of our biggest fans are Misters Gred and Forge Westley; I believe they say they are from Ravenclaw."

Malfoy pointed a long, bejeweled finger over behind Harry. Harry suppressed a laugh, and stole a glance over at the place Malfoy was pointing and saw Fred and George, both wearing top hats and fake black moustaches, bowing to Ron and Hermione, who were obviously fooled by the disguise of Ron's brothers.

"Well, I guess I'll see you in class on Monday, then," ventured Harry.

"Yeah," said Malfoy. "See you then." And then Malfoy did something that Harry would have normally punched him for. He had leant over, grabbed his ass, and gave him a lick on the cheek.

Harry could feel himself burning up. Ron and Hermione came over to him, congratulating Malfoy on his spectacular performance, dragging Harry towards the door. Harry didn't feel like he was in love with Malfoy anymore, but his perspective of him sure had changed over the past few weeks.

They had almost made it to the door and were trying to push their way out when Malfoy yelled "Hey! Harry! Feel free to come back at any Saturday you like!" Harry waved and finally made it through the door. Maybe, just maybe he would come back.

THE END

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OR IS IT??