HP and Hermione's Insatiable Appetite for Quidditch Players

Then he realized that he was not holding and kissing and caressing Draco. He froze where he was, and then backed away, his heart beating. "That's right, Mr. Potter, just step away," came a deep, amused voice. "Just step away from Professor Snape. That's it."

The room suddenly became lit by the glow of twelve candles, and Harry found himself staring into the face of his professor. Snape glided forward, an unmistakable smirk apparent on his face. "Who are you waiting for here, Potter? Some young, naïve girl who believes that if she sleeps with you some of your ego will be transferred upon her? Or perhaps a young boy you have bewitched into becoming your lover?" Snape said silkily, a mixed look of pleasure and disgust apparent on his face. He continued coming toward Harry, who found himself backing into the wall.

"It wouldn't come as much of a shock if you were homosexual, Potter. Needless to say,you're certainly...flamboyant enough. But may I ask who is the lucky fellow? If, that is, it is a fellow..."

Harry felt his face aflame. "I- I was... practicing. Practicing... uh, dueling. With uh..." Just then, Draco came back in to the classroom. A look of shock spread over his face when he saw Harry being cornered by Professor Snape. "Malfoy! I was dueling with Malfoy. We only wanted some practice. You know, help each other out."

Harry waited with bated breath as Snape looked from Harry to Draco to Draco's robe, which lay on the floor, and back to Harry. Snape pursed his lips and said, "Turn out your pockets, Mr. Malfoy, if you please." Draco flushed, his eyes growing wide. Harry knew that the condoms were in Draco's pockets, and turning them out would mean giving himself away. Draco blinked; his face set, and pulled out the condoms.

Snape turned away from Harry and approached Malfoy. Snape held out his hand, and Draco dropped the two Muggle condoms into it. Snape's lips curled into a cruel smile and said, "Now this will never do. Two Trojan XLs. Surely they would never fit Potter. You lead me to believe, Mr. Malfoy, that you were saving these both for... another. Am I right in assuming so?" Draco dumbly nodded. "Ahh, Mr. Malfoy, I will be needing to confiscate these. Stop by my office tomorrow, and eh, in a matter of speaking, I will give these," he brandished the condoms toward Malfoy "back to you. Good day, gentlemen." Snape gave one last glare to Harry, and winked at Draco, and strode out of the room with a swish of his black cloak.

When the door closed shut, Draco sighed, looking mortified.

"That was... a close call," said Harry, breaking the silence.

Draco eyed Harry carefully. "You mean- you didn't understand what that whole thing was about?" he asked.

Harry shook his head no. What could it have meant? Harry had accidentally made out with Snape, and Snape confiscated the condoms. "Erm- did it mean that we can't have sex tonight?" Harry asked, kind of disappointed.

"Well, yes, Harry. I just got caught by the Head of my house when I was about to sleep with a Gryffindor, an enemy!" Draco said, looking down.

"But we didn't get caught!" Harry yelled. "Snape just- walked away! He'll return your condoms to you tomorrow!"

Draco looked up at Harry, shaking his head. "Nope. I got caught. Snape knows that I like you, Harry, and he wants me to suffer for it. So tomorrow, when I go to his office, he will return them to me. In more ways than you can imagine he'll return them to me."

Harry stood, shocked. If what Draco was implying was true, then Professor Snape wasn't exactly a blatant heterosexual, then, was he? "You mean...he...you... make...sleep? Together?" Harry stuttered.

Draco smiled and laughed. "Yeah, unfortunately. You know, you are very good at that stutter thing, Harry. It's cute."

Harry smiled in spite of himself but continued. "But- are you going to stop it?"

Draco shrugged. "Don't know how! Couldn't if I wanted to. Snape would blackmail me if I didn't agree to go along with it."

They both stood there in silence for a moment. Then Draco said "Well, we should definitely meet up some other time, then. Maybe just to talk or, you know. Whatever." He smiled and winked. Harry felt very uncomfortable. Draco smiled again and left.

Harry trudged back up to Gryffindor tower, thinking about what had just happened. He entered the common room to find Ron and Hermione there, looking both very exhausted and extremely happy.

"How'd it go?" asked Ron, grinning from ear to ear.

"Well," Harry began. "It didn't really go, per se, but I think it was... oh, I don't know, can we talk in the morning?"

Ron and Hermione shrugged and Harry went up to the dorm, leaving them to snog next to the firelight. Harry crawled into bed and sighed. He didn't understand what had just happened, but he knew that whatever happened would not be what he wanted.