Dumbledore and the Insidious Plot

Still In Malfoy Manor...

"Ah, good you're both here. I have something to tell you and it's best if I tell you first before Voldie does," Dumpty said as his stepped inside the library.

"What is it?" Harry stood as Dumpty entered.

"You should know that.."

"What we should know?" Draco asked.

"That apples are on sale today," Dumpty said seriously.

"You got to be kidding me!" Harry couldn't believe his mentor was talking about apples in time like this.

"No I'm quite serious. Voldie could kill you with apples if you're not careful. Anyway I had some other things in my mind as well."

Harry and Draco were looking at Dumpty with their mouths open.

"Don't look so amazed. I know my hair looks nice and I only changed shampoos. Anyway, When are you going to get married?" Dumpty asked suddenly.

"Married? We haven't thought about it yet, have we?" Harry asked from Draco.

"As matter of fact I have been thinking about it but I wasn't sure if you even want to marry me but I'm so pretty, so how can you resist me," Draco was speaking more to himself than to Harry or Dumpty as he looked at himself in the mirror.

"Maybe you two should talk about it. I leave you alone to do so," Dumpty said as he backed out of the door.

An Hour Later..

Harry and Draco were snogging in the library as Lucius entered.

"Draco! Didn't I tell you NO SEX before the wedding!" Lucius roared.

"Wow, word does travel fast around here and father, calm down. We were just kissing." Draco tried to sound calm but was the opposite.

"Just kissing! I know where kissing Potter can lead to. I mean.." Lucius' face was slowly turning red.

"What? You've kissed Harry?" Draco feared what his father would answer.

"No! And I'm not going to tell you anything about my snog session with James."

"You had a snog session with James Potter! I thought you were straight." Draco and Harry were both shocked.

"I'm straight as Severus Snape's nose but that's besides the point. You must stop groping each other. You can grope as much as you like after the wedding," Lucius said to the couple; who were just holding hands.

"We want to know more about you and James. Please tell us," Draco tried to look as cute as possible.

Suddenly there was panicked look on Lucius face.

"It's none of your business," Lucius said and hurried out of the room.

They could hear him muttering something like; 'Horny teenagers..pain in the arse..' as he went.

Back to Hogwarts..

"I can't believe I agreed to do this," Severus said as he stepped inside to Dumpty's office.

"I thought you liked kids," Dumpty said with a twinkle in his eyes.

"No, I don't and especially full grown kids are the worst."

"Where is he? You didn't kill him, did you?" Dumpty looked worriedly behind Severus.

"No, although I tried but as you can see he isn't dead." With that Remus came to the room. He had "a jumping stick" as Severus called it, and he was jumping around with it.

"Remus can I have your attention please?" Dumpty asked gently.

"Sure dude. What's up?"

"Oh, I forgot to mention that he started to talk like a bloody American."

"Please sit down, Remus before you hurt yourself. I have to tell you something about Harry."

"What about Potter?" Snape asked and was glaring at Remus.

"I wanted to tell you that Harry is Voldie's son."

"Who's Harry?" Remus had a confused look on his face.

"Harry Potter The-Boy-Who-Won't-Die-Because-Voldie-Wants-To-Be-A-Evil-Maniac-Until-The-World-Comes-To-An-End.

"The-Boy-Who-Can't-Steal-Voldie's-Panties.

"The-Boy-Who-Instead-Of-Stealing-Voldies-Panties-Stole-My-Kinky-Stuff-Box.

"The-Boy-Who.."

"That's enough, Severus," Dumpty demanded.

"Anyway, I don't want Harry to know about this because it would change Harry's opinion about Voldie and then we would fail the mission 'RescueDumpty'sSandals'," Dumpty continued.

"We can't allow that! I promise not to tell Potter, you have my word," Snape said.

"Thank you, Severus. I think you have some work to do, am I right?"

"Erm.. as matter of fact.."

"Good now off you go so I can speak with Remus for a while," Dumpty said and stared at Severus expectantly.

"But it's Christmas, I don't have.."

"Severus, goodbye," Dumpty said firmly.

"Fine. Have a nice day," Severus said and left the office.