Dumbledore and the Insidious Plot

Few days later in Dumpty's office...

There was a knock on the door.

"Ah, Severus come in," Dumpty called relieved by the disturbance.

"Good evening Headmaster. Well well, Remus. Nice to see you too," Snape said sarcastically.

"How did you know my name? This has to be a sign. My mother says that if someone can tell your name just by looking at you then it's likely you're going to marry them in the future but you actually look kind of familiar. Have we met before?"

Snape looked over to Dumpty who shook his head slightly.

"No we haven't." Snape didn't understand what was going on but decided to play along. Besides this couldn't possibly be one of those times when Dumpty tried to get him and Remus together. Although Dumpty was wearing his pimp hat.

"Oh great, now we can get to know each other better. How about we go to Diagon Alley for an ice cream?" Remus was smiling brightly at Snape.

"Sure why not." Snape just couldn't wait to poison this smiling monster.

"Why don't you take this with you." Dumpty handed the 'kinky stuff-box' to Snape.

"What's in the box?" Remus asked innocently.

"Er.. Nothing. Could you wait outside for a minute? I have to speak with Dumpty for a moment."

"Okay," Remus said in sing-song voice.

When the door closed behind Remus,

"What have you done to him?" Snape sighed.

"I obliviated him which obviously worked but it got little bit out of hand."

"A little bit! He's like nine year-old boy."

"Actually eleven but now I must ask if you could watch over him for couple of days. You can do what ever you want with him but nothing dangerous. Although I must warn you he can be little too happy and sometimes he even asked me to play hide and seek with him. It would be impossible for you to find him if you had a beard."

"Do I have to? Oh God please tell me I'm dreaming!"

NO YOU AREN'T came a voice somewhere above.

"Oh shit. Fine, I'll look after him until you find a suitable kindergarten."

"Now off you go Severus. I have work to do," said Dumpty and shooed Snape out of his office.

In Malfoy Manor..

Harry was sitting in library when Draco walked in.

"Happy birthday Harry! I think I'm in love with Dumpty." Draco said matter-of-factly.

"What?"

"I said I'm.."

"Yes yes but I mean how?"

"Some guy named Bob gave me love potion."

"Some guy named Bob gave you love potion and you just drank it?"

"No, I didn't know it was love potion when I drank it."

"So if it was Bob who gave it to you, how you're in love with Dumpty then?" Harry started to look suspicious.

"I was blindfolded at the time and before you ask, I was kidnapped."

"Kidnapped! How can you be so calm! What if he had killed you!" Harry screamed.

"Calm down, he didn't try to kill me. He gave me this and said that I should give it to you." Draco took a letter from his pocket and gave it to Harry.

Harry opened the letter and his eyes widened as he read it.

"What does it say?" Draco's voice was concerned.

"Look for yourself." Harry handed the letter back to Draco.

It said,

Dear Harry,

I hope you had a nice birthday because it won't last forever.

I admit that I gave your precious Draco some love potion but unfortunately Dumpty was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Can I have your forgiveness. I could have killed him but then I decided to make your life hellish.

Now I regret everything bad I have ever done to you and your "family".

I really hope we can some day live side by side in harmony.

But before that I must just once try and take over the world.

Sincerely yours,

Lord Voldie the Evil maniac

OXOXXOXO

"What the Hell?!" Draco was looking the letter with disbelieve.

"My thoughts exactly. I have always known he's crazy but now I truly understand.."

"Ah, good you're both here. I have something to tell you and it is best if I tell you first before Voldie does," Dumpty said as his stepped inside the library.