Dumbledore and the Insidious Plot

Chapter 1

Dumpty had a pair of sandals. He'd had them as long as he could remember. He had got them as a birthday gift from his grandfather. The sandals had the Union Jack printed on their soles. Once, somebody stole them when he was on holiday in Africa but after a week the sandals returned mysteriously back to him. Of course he knew why: because he had cast a spell over them which made the person who wears them, other than Dumpty, appear completely naked in the eyes of others. Of course these sandals had special abilities. For example when he wished the sandals could make him invisible.

But now he had lost them. He couldn't find them since yesterday.

"Where the bloody hell are they?" Dumpty rummaged in the dark cupboard. Suddenly a shadow fell over him. He turned around. Somebody was standing in the doorway. He couldn't see who it was.

"Good evening Albus. I heard noises and thought you might be in trouble." He recognised the voice, it belong to Remus Lupin.

"Ah, Remus. What brings you here?" Dumpty asked as he got out of the cupboard.

"I heard it is your birthday and I came to give you this." Remus was holding a small red package with a golden ribbon.

"Thank you." Dumpty took the package from Remus. He went to his office, laid the package on his desk and sat down.

"What were you looking for in that cupboard anyway?" Remus asked as he took a seat on the other side of the desk.

"Just my old sandals and there's no doubt He-who-must-not-be-named has stolen my sandals as part of some insidious plot."

"Oh, I see and you reached this conclusion because..?"

"Because Voldie will do anything to conquer the world even steal my panties."

"Ah, that's why you could not keep your pantyhose on."

"No, it was because somebody had put a fish in them. Anyway, my sandals are missing and they are of great value to me." Dumpty looked Remus with puppy eyes.

"Not those puppy eyes. Damn you Dumpty!"

Dumpty kept looking at him. "Okay okay, I will try to find them for you."

Dumpty smiled smugly. "Very kind of you. Be certain that you search all of them."

"All of them?" Remus asked confused.

"One hundred and seventeen cupboards but now I have to go. Have fun!"

Remus was left alone with his task.

In the meantime..

"Now that I have Dumpty's sandals I can take over the world!" Voldie was jumping up and down around his throne.

"I don't understand why we stole those sandals." Wormtail looked Voldie like he had gone crazy.

"Of course you don't, you idiot! No man will ever understand how genius I am." Voldie was now gasping for air.

"Maybe a hermaphrodite could but Sir.."

"I'm no Sir to you. You shall call me Lord Voldie the Evil maniac!" Voldie screamed at Wormtail.

"Of course, Lord Voldie the Evil maniac," Wormtail answered.

"Good and you should, at least once a day, call me sexy and beautiful."

"Of course, Lord Voldie the Evil maniac," Wormtail answered again.

"I should give you a raise." Voldie suddenly decided.

"Oh, Thank you, Lord Voldie the Evil maniac!"

"But I won't, you have to earn it. What do we have next in our TakeOverTheWorldPlan-list?"

" It says, 'Kill somebody and then sing karaoke on their grave'," Wormtail read aloud.

"We will do that."

"But who are we going to kill?"

"Harry Potter."

"No not again. We will never succeed," Wormtail whined.

"Okay okay, let me think. Hmm... Aha! We will kill Draco Malfoy!"

"But he's Harry Potter's boyfriend."

"Ah, you're right it will never work unless.."

"Unless what?"

"We break their relationship and then they both are going to commit suicide!"

"And how are we going to do that?"

"Ah, don't worry, I have a plan."

Back to Hogwarts..

"Have you found my sandals yet?" Dumpty returned to his office.

"No I haven't. But I have found a miniature of a pink hippogriff, pair of new socks, playboy magazines and some box with kinky stuff in it that I don't want to remember," Remus answered.

"Ah, I always wondered where I had put them. Remus, are you feeling well? You look like you're going to be sick. I was just talking about the new socks you found. I think that 'kinky stuff-box' belongs to Snape. He asked me if I could keep it save for him. He couldn't risk any of his students to find it."

"Please, too much information! I can't ever take Snape seriously again," Remus whined.

"Then maybe I should obliviate you."

"Please do."

"Obliviate."

After a moment Remus looked up to Dumpty with confused eyes.

"Remus, are you okay?"

Remus just kept looking at Dumpty.

"Who are you?" Remus asked weakly.

"Oh my." Dumpty had gotten himself into serious trouble.