Wild Dancing Underpants?

"Blaise Zabini," Narcissa said disapprovingly, "look at you, you're a complete mess!"

"No I'm not," said Blaise, dusting soot off the front of her robes.

Narcissa shook her head.

"Where is everyone?" Blaise asked.

"In the drawing room," Narcissa replied, rather haughtily. "The entire Weasley clan's showed up, would you believe?"

"Ron Weasley too?" Blaise asked hopefully.

"That's right," said Narcissa, knowingly, "Harry Potter's best friend. Now what would you be doing with him?"

"Nothing," Blaise replied, a little toickly.

"He's here," Narcissa said, voice teasing.

"As though I care," Blaise said, trying to sound careless.

"He looks awfully annoyed," said Narcissa, "or at least he did last time I saw him. He keeps shooting daggers at Draco. I'm afraid if looks could kill, my son would be dead."

"Ron Weasley, looks could kill." Blaise tried to laugh, but all that came out was a nervous chuckle.

"You're acting very strange, Blaise," Narcissa said, head tilted back so that she eyed Blaise in a very superior fashion.

"Well thank you," said Blaise. "But if you don't mind, I think I'll be going to the drawing room now." And she walked passed Narcissa, out the door, and down the corridor. Just as Blaise was nearing the drawing room, she spotted somebody seated on the floor in the corridor. As she got closer, she realised that this somebody was Ron Weasley.

Ron looked up as Blaise walked towards him. "I got kicked out," he mumbled. "Damn that Mt;

"Which one?" Blaise asked, sounding perfectly calm although her stomach tossed and turned just seeing him.

"All of them," Ron replied, glaring at the wall as though hoping to burn a hole into it.

"You know, if you want to burn a hole into the wall," Blaise said, voice hopeful, "I'd be happy to cast a spell for you."

"No thank you," Ron said, raising himself up to his feet. "Maybe if I go in there with you now, I won't get kicked out."

"In there?" Blaise asked. "Do you actually want to attend Lord Lucius' Meeting of Important Pure-blood Wizards?"

"I'm here, aren't I?" Ron said.

"But you know, what with your Mudblood," Blaise began, but quickly faltered, realising she would offend Ron by continuing, and also offend whatever chance she stood with Ron, although she shouldn't think such things as she was his best friend's girlfriend. Oh why must life be so difficult?

Ron didn't respond to this, though Blaise was certain he had heard.

"Where is Granger anyway?" Blaise asked, half curious, half trying to make polite conversation.

"At her parents' dentistry," Ron replied glumly. "She's working there part-time when she's not at trying to find work at the ministry."

"Oh, right," Blaise said,idedly disinterested.

"Well, should we go inside?" Ron asked, gesturing to the drawing room door.

"Oh, right," Blaise said again, except this time she sounded uneasy. She turned the handle of the door, pushing it open.

Whoever may have been speaking in the drawing room silenced as soon as the door creaked open and all eyes (about twenty people were present, all seated around a large table, and no, they were not all Weasleys who felt discriminated) turned on Ron and Blaise.

"I told you," Ginny Weasley said, voice dripping with pride, "you can't get rid of Ron that easily."

"That isn't something to be proud of," Draco said. "Weasleys are such pests..."

Nine red-headed, angered Weasleys turned on Draco, glowering with hate.

"Sorry, slip of the tongue," Draco amended. "No harm meant."

Five of the Weasleys regarded this as a worthy apology, but Fred and George Weasley continued to scowl in Draco's direction, and Ginny beside Draco would casually shoot cold glares at him every few minutes, yet Ron's heart would never warm to Draco Malfoy, not fully.

"Well, take a seat then," Lucius said, standing at the head of the table. "Hurry up, you're disrupting the meeting."

BlRon quickly took their seats side-by-side, near Terry Boot, who sat beside Lucius as his right hand man.

"As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted," Lucius said, pausing a moment to glance at Blaise and Ron, "our children are counting for less and less at Hogwarts each and every day. Our children, the one's who were raised in wizardry, are being regarded as less than Mudblood children in their studies. Why, only a month ago, I was told my son did not quite reach the intellect of some Mudblood girl. I will not stand for having my son compared to a Mudblood!"

"Lucius, please," Arthur Weasley spoke up, "I thought this was an organisation opposing Voldemort."

"And so it is,&quLucius said, a rather insolent tone in his voice. "But we are all here for a worthy cause, Arthur Weasley, the defence of pure-blood children. We cannot stand for discrimination, especially since we are the past and present. If we are continued to be discriminated against, what will become of wizards? Blood and heritage counts for nothing in these days!"

"Here here!" shouted Helene Zabini, whose goblet seemed to contain something other than water.

Just then, there was a little pop and Sirius Black, Auror extraordinaire appeared behind Lucius.

"What news from Azkaban?" Lucius said, turning to Sirius.

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"Harry Potter saved two young children from a pack of Dementors," said Sirius, rather proudly.

Lucius became very disinterested at this point, noticing his son's glowering expression. "Well then," he said, "back to important issues. Lord Voldemort, ladies and gentlemen, is as you all know, history-"

"Thanks to Harry Potter," Sirius added. "Harry's final defeat of Voldemort really was something quite memorable. The way he tossed the dark lord into the endless void was just spectacular-"

"Enough," Lucius cut in. "As I was saying before I was very rudely interrupted," he stopped to glare at Sirius, "Lord Voldemort is history and nobody here cares about Harry Potter's defeat of the dark lord. We are gathered here as a united front, fighting for the rights of our children, or children to come. We cannot allow the Muggles to take over!"

"What has this to do with the good of the world?" Arthur asked, by this point very exasperated with Lucius' talk of Muggles and their worst qualities.

"You're a pure-blood, Weasley," Lucius said, pointing out the obvious. "You should be concerned for your children."

"I understand that I'm a pure-blood," Arthur said, "but why should I hate Muggles?"

"If we're asking too much of you Arthur, you can leave," Lucius said, folding his arms over his chest. "You can go with your sons and your wife and leave here forever."

"And what about my daughter?" Arthur said, rising, looking just about ready to leave.

"She can stay," Lucius said, "for as long as she makes Draco happy."

"Dad, you're causing a scene," Ginny finally spoke up, cheeks pink with embarrassment.

"And so I intend to," Arthur Weasley said, cheeks also pink, though for different reasoning than his daughter.

"Please, Mr. Weasley," said Terry Boot, now standing up. "If you feel the need to start an argument, do it elsewhere, this is a peaceful environment for the time being."

"Come on, we're going," Arthur Weasley said, waving an arm to the mes of his family, gesturing them to follow him.

"Not yet, Dad," George Weasley argued. "I'm starting to like this."

"And remember, Weasleys," Lucius said, wearing a malicious grin, "Gilderoy Lockhart duelling sessions due to start this evening. We have Lockhart booked for two hours, which means everyone gets a turn, and the best part, Lockhart can only use a faulty wand, courtesy of Ronald Weasley."

"Oh! We can't leave now!" Fred Weasley cried out.

"Poor Gilderoy?" said George in disbelief.

"When did I donate my wand?" Ron wondered aloud.

"Miss. Pansy Parkinson gave us your wand on your behalf," Lucius replied. "She must've found it while hunting in other peoples' rubbish bins. That girl was always a disgrace."

"Actually, I found the wand," Blaise muttered so only Ron could hear. "I told Pansy it was Draco's. Of course she'd wanted to keep it, but how did it get into Lucius' grasp, I wonder."

"We're definitely not leaving now," Charlie Weasley said, speaking to his father. "Gilderoy Lockhart's a complete menace! He doesn't know what he's doing. I swear, ever since he told me I was feeding the baby dragons wrong, I've wanted to give him a piece of my wand."

"That man was far too conceited to be a teacher," said Percy, in a know-it-all way. "He never worried about important matters, such as wand thickness."

"He's been on about that ever since his cauldron thickness campaign failed," Ron said to Blaise. "And that was two years ago. He now thinks wands are too flimsy and thin."

"It's understandable," Blaise said thoughtfully.

Ron rolled his eyes in exasperation.

"Fine then, we'll stay," said Arthur, taking his seat. "But please, no more talk of Muggles and Muggle-borns."

"We can't stay," Molly argued. "This man's mad."

"Oh, Mum, you're the mad one," said Bill Weasley. "Gilderoy Lockhart was a fraud, and we all know it."

"His tips on degnoming were very useful," said Molly, a dreamy look coming onto her face. "And his smile truly is charming."

"That's disgusting," Blaise muttered. "If you're going tohead over heels for someone, at least choose someone worthwhile, like Sirius Black."

Ron looked at Blaise with a shocked expression, completely at a loss for words.

"Did I just say that out loud?" Blaise asked. "I didn't mean to..."

"Harry's godfather?" Ron said, still shocked.

Blaise blushed very slightly, turning away from Ron, pretending to be very interested in what Ginny and Draco were up to.

"They make me perfectly sick," Ron groaned, also looking in Ginny and Draco's direction. "Mum's starting to like Malfoy, and she invited him to supper the other night. He's completely sickening. 'Oh, thank you Mrs. Weasley, you're very kind.' And you could tell the whole time he was just being polite to impress her, but he was really thinking how poor we are and how much better he is than us."

"Is there something wrong with manners?" Blaise asked.

"He was completely fake!" Ron said, with a great amount of resentment in his voice.

"What's wrong with that?" Blaise said. "Face it Weasley, you're just jealous."

"All right," said Lucius, calling attention. "One more Muggle-born issue to discuss before we move onto matters of Gilderoy Lockhart and house elves. A Muggle-born approached the ministry the other day, and actually, this has something to do with house elves as well, but the Muggle-born, the worst one of them all, approached the ministry with a campaign for treating house elves like equals. Now, this is just madness, as this Muggle-born was raised without a house elf, and does not realise the border separating wizards from house elves, so why meddle in something you know nothing about?"

"Hermione," Ron muttered with disapproval. ;I told her not to tell anyone about that stupid house elf thing."

"That's utter stupidity," Helene Zabini said to Lucius. "Who was it?"

Ron shrunk back in his seat as though hoping to be lost beneath the table.

"Hermione Granger," Lucius replied smugly.

Most peoplxcluding four Weasleys (Ron, Molly, Arthur, and Percy) burst into laughter.

"Granger," Blaise snickered. "I knew she couldn't be as clever as she seems."

Suddenly, a pair of wild, dancing underpants (which had pursued Blaise right to Malfoy Manor, unbelievable as it seems) burst into the room, chased by a house elf swinging a frying pan around.

Everybody in the room jumped up onto the table for protection from the underpants, Blaise ducking behind Ron (while standing on the table) hoping the underpants would not find her.

"All right, that's just crazy," Draco said, as Ginny clutched onto the sleeve of his robes. "That stupid house elf needs to learn how to do the washing before all the clothes in the entire place goes berserk."

The underpants danced around the room for a few minutes, the house elf swinging the frying pan wildly, until finally they seemed to give up, strolling out the door in what could be analysed a glum manner, though with walking underpants, one never knows what they're feeling.

"That's the last time I open a mystery box lying in a secluded area of the courtyard," Blaise mumbled once the room was dancing-underpant-free. "You never know what you'll find in there."

<>

"That's where the underpants came from?" Ron asked. "Weird."

"I know," said Blaise, still shaky from seeing the underpants again, "but at least it wasn't a pair of socks."

"Yeah, because a pair of socks could really kick you in the rear," said Ron, rather bemusedly. "Now those underpants, they came from some box you found?"

"Yes," Blaise replied thoughtfully. "I suppose the underpants were supposed to have been kept safe in that box as it labelled 'Do not touch.' But you know me; anything not to be touched must be touched."

"Well that explains it," Ron said, nodding. "Do you think they'll be back?"

"I hope not," Blaise replied, though at the back of her mind, she knew that somehow, some way, the dancing underpants would always be around to cause havoc...