And now for something completely different: Ron singing

Last time we left our Heroes, Arthur sung the most boring song up to date and nobody paid any attention to him. People were paying so little attention that many many other things happened. Too many to list here. The characters got in to lots of fights with the Author and Harry tried to conclude the fic and end the silliness. Ron stopped him and tried to reason that they can't end now.

RON: But so many people count on us! We can't disappoint them by stopping now.

HARRY: Oh they'll get over it. Please, it's not that good.

AUTHOR: Hey.

HARRY: I'm sorry but it's trailed off a bit. It's not that funny any more...

AUTHOR: (sobs silently)

RON: Now look what you've done, you've upset the author. There'll be tear marks on the paper now.

HARRY: But she's working at the computer...

RON: Then ther'll be speeling fults. Thank you Harryl, you've ruined the fic.

LAVENDER: Yeah Harry!

NEVILLE: You've spoilt everything!

DEAN: Get lost!

GARY: Go away!

MORBO: Leave us and our fic alone!

HARRY: Hold on hold on. Who's Gary?

ALL: (shrug)

HARRY: Now this is too weird. This has to stop.

RON: No.

ALL: (chanting) No no no!

HARRY: All right! We'll continue! But only if at least one person, one person, can find something funny and mildly amusing to do in the next chapter.

HERMIONE2: You do realise that funny and amusing-

HARRY: Yes I know they mean the same thing! Will you leave it alone?!!!!

Meanwhile, in an MVC near you...

VOLDEMORT: Excuse me; do you have any Monty Python records?

SALES PERSON: Records?

VOLDEMORT: Yes. To play on a Gramophone.

SALES PERSON: (in fake posh voice) A Gramophone?

VOLDEMORT: Yes, a Gramophone.

SALES PERSON: We don't have Gramophone's here granddad.

VOLDEMORT: Then what do you have?

POLICEMAN: Hold on, hold on. What's going on here then?

VOLDEMORT: What do you mean? I was just-

POLICEMAN: This is a 'Not the Nine o'clock News' sketch.

VOLDEMORT: Yes, so?

POLICEMAN: Well this is fic is all about Monty Python. You can't just go around switching to other comedy sketch shows whenever you feel like it, it's just not allowed. And why aren't you singing?

VOLDEMORT: You want me to sing? All right, I'll sing. Nice video, shame about the so-o-ong. Nice video-

POLICEMAN: Now that is just not on.

VOLDEMORT: Oh you don't like that one? All right then. Because I'm wet and lonely! Wet and lone-ely.

POLICEMAN: Now hold on there-

VOLDEMORT: Cause I'm rubbing my eyes out, rubbing your thighs out of my mind! But they came back aga-ain!

POLICEMAN: (pulls Voldemort's arms behind him) You're nicked sonny. For gross mismatched sketching.

VOLDEMORT: (Jumps up and down) Help! Help! I'm being repressed!

POLICEMAN: (lets go) Much better. Now get on with it.

ARMY: Get on with it!

POLICEMAN: I said that.

ARMY: Sorry

POLICEMAN: (leaves)

VOLDEMORT: I'd like a Monty Python CD please.

SALES PERSON: The soundtracks are in the soundtrack aisle.

VOLDEMORT: Nah, we've done all those. Got anything from the series?

SALES PERSON: (points) Over there.

VOLDMORT: (goes to leave)

SALES PERSON: (stops him) Excuse me? Do I know you?"

VOLDEMORT: (smugly) Well I am an evil wizard lord trying to take over the world.

SALES PERSON: Nah. Are you... are you Kevin Kleine?

VOLDEMORT: What? How on earth could you- Yes. Yes I am.

Back in the hall the characters are wondering around aimlessly. They have discovered that none of them can leave the hall and are getting bored. The Hufflepuffs are playing twister in a corner, Morbo and Dumbledore are discussing politics at the staff table and Snape is on the Gryffindor table, wearing a gold bikini and dancing for money.

HERMIONE1: I wonder why we can't leave the hall. Voldemort did. Nothing makes sense in this fic! Nothing! (Bursts in to tears)

RON: There there. (Comforts Hermione1)

HERMIONE2: (slips galleon down Snape's bikini) Oi! Oi! Oi!

LEGOLAS: (freezes) Author... has... seen... new... Orlando... Bloom... film... Morphing... in... to... new... character.

Legolas screamed in pain and twitched. He morphed in to Will Taylor wearing a pirate's costume including a black hat with a feather in it.

WILL: Hang on. Will Turner was never a pirate.

AUTHOR: Well I think he should have been so you are.

JACK: All right, mate.

WILL: Hey, Jack.

JACK: Beer?

WILL: Sure.

HARRY: You haven't found anything.

RON: I know.

HARRY: So we can stop the fic now, right?

RON: I don't think it's up to us. We can't leave the hall therefore we can't leave the fic.

Voldemort walks in holding high a Monty Python CD. All stop playing/talking/dancing and look at him. A beam of light shines down on the holy CD.

RON: The fic's back on!

A/N: Help! My previous Beta for this fic has gone off to university and I don't want to load too much work on my other Betas. So I need a Beta just for this fic. If you're interested please Owl or email me or leave a note in your review.

Thankies