Harry Potter and the Flowers of Mimas

Harry Potter has returned for his sixth year at Hogwarts, burdened with the task of defeating Lord Voldemort. He is not the only one. This is the story of how a prophecy may (or may not) be fulfilled - with the help of a lumpy grey cactus, fiendish Muggle technology, a snivelling Slytherin first year and a prisoner in Azkaban with spattergroit.

In Chapter 2: The Tasteless Things Some People Hang on Walls, Phineas Nigellus opines on interior decoration. Harry, Hermione, Luna and Ron consider whether Voldemort likes cheese.

In Chapter 3: A Little Knowledge, In the Wrong Hands, Harry opens his surprise package. Professor McGonagall also delivers a surprise - which is far less welcome.

This is the story of how a prophecy may (or may not) be fulfilled. In Chaper 4: Don't Blame the Messenger, Ron delivers some unwelcome news, Snape receives an unwelcome visitor and Firenze prepares to welcome an age of prosperity and abundance.

This is the story of how a prophecy may (or may not) be fulfilled. In Chaper 5: The Rusty Plate, Snape takes a journey to the mouth of hell. Harry and Ron get no further than the seventh floor.

This is the story of how a prophecy may (or may not) be fulfilled. In Chaper 6: Welcome to Azkaban, Boy, Ron escapes Luna, Harry interrupts Dobby and Draco has a rotten birthday.

This is the story of how a prophecy may (or may not) be fulfilled. In Chaper 7: A Load of Unmitigated Bollocks, Snape and Narcissa see eye to eye, Harry and Ron pop out for a quick one, Neville refuses to acknowledge danger and Professor Trelawney awaits her fair one.

Harry Potter has returned for his sixth year at Hogwarts, burdened with the task of defeating the Dark Lord. He is not the only one. This is the story of how a prophecy may (or may not) be fulfilled - with the help of a lumpy grey cactus, a snivelling Slytherin first year, fiendish Muggle technology and a prisoner in Azkaban with spattergroit. In Chapter 8: A Small, Familiar Voice, Harry discovers a thing of unsurpassed beauty and Professor Snape is hit on the head with a heavy object.