Siofra and Company

"So, Miss Siofra, what are you doing today?" A pretty dark haired girl leaned over her best friend's chair. The girl in the chair looked up, smiling, at her friend Kiara.

"Well, I might write a MST. Or maybe I could write a dark, dreary story about my favorite character!" Siofra was obsessed with writing. One memorable time, she'd disregarded sleep entirely to write. "It's almost done! If I stop, I'll lose the flow!" She had stayed up all night, and it was worth it. The fic was one of her best.

"No," said another girl, who was reading a book. "It's much too nice a day for depressing stuff about Draco flipping Malfoy. Write an adventure story!"

"But I love Malfoy!" Siofra whined.

"Yeah," said Kiara unsympathetically. "We know you love Malfoy. Get over it."

"Get over it!" Siofra cried dramatically. "I cannot get over it! Draco Malfoy is my soul mate!"

"How do you figure this?" Alaina asked. Alaina and her sister, Seren, were also there.

Siofra counted off on her fingers. "Number one, we're both snarky. Number two, we're both smarter than you. Number three, we're both too good looking for our own good. Number four, we're both evil. Number five, I can't think of anything else off the top of my head."

"Get over Draco Malfoy," Seren said. "He's fictional!"

"Yeah," said Kiara's older sister, Brianna. "I want a story about me. You've done one about Kiara and that John dude, and about Alaina and...that other dude. It's my turn!"

Siofra rolled her eyes. "Not John, Brianna, Sean. As in, Sean Biggerstaff, whom Kiara is unnaturally obsessed with. And it wasn't about Sean Biggerstaff anyways, it was about Oliver Wood."

Brianna shook her head, before returning to her book. "Sean what's-his-face, Oliver Wood, same difference."

"Don't egg her on, Brianna," said Alaina. "She'll go on for hours about the difference between actors and characters, and the finer distinctions of Draco Malfoy's personality. Don't get her started."

Seren looked up from her magazine. "Siofra," she said, eyeing Siofra with an incredulous look. "You do know that you are very strange, right?"

Siofra grinned. "I am extremely strange, and proud of it!" she exclaimed.

Siofra's little brother Ben walked into the room. "Are you guys talking about Sean Biggerstaff again?" he asked, the fire of mischief in his eyes.

"Yes," Siofra said sternly. "No perverted comments, please."

"Fine," Ben said. He grabbed one of the girls' flip-flops and put it between his legs. He then ran out of the room screaming, "Look at me! I'm Sean Biggerstaff!"

"That was a perverted comment!" Siofra shouted at his retreating back.

"No it wasn't!" he shouted back. "It was a perverted gesture!"

"Damn, he got the last word!" Siofra said.

"So," said Brianna, looking at Siofra over the top of her book. "Are you going to write my story or what?"

"Fine," Siofra grumbled. "I'm just your special little slave, here to do whatever you want."

"Glad you finally noticed," Brianna said.

Siofra dramatically turned back to the computer, held her fingers dramatically over the keyboard, dramatically scrunched up her face (Siofra is a very dramatic person), and...

Sunk low in her chair, an expression of defeat on her face.

"It didn't come to me!" she moaned. "I have no interesting plot!"

Siofra turned and grabbed her trusty-rusty spiral notebook, filled with scribblings, quotes and fic ideas. It also contains addresses, in case Siofra ever wishes to write Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Tom Felton, or Sean Biggerstaff a mad, crazy fan letter. The author begs you not to tell Siofra that she told you this. It's a big secret.

"Nope...nope...nope...None of this inspires me!" Siofra cried, flipping dramatically through the pages of her notebook.

Brianna rolled her eyes. "Siofra, pick an idea. Write a story. It's that simple!"

"You just don't understand, Brianna." Siofra shook her head sadly.

"Well, try anyways!" Brianna said, as if this were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Fine!" Siofra cried. She scrunched up her face again, apparently thinking hard. She made little humming noises as the thoughts whirled through her head.

"I'll help!" said Kiara, the only other person in the room who wrote stories. She also scrunched up her face, unconsciously copying her best friend of twelve years.

"It's hopeless," Siofra said, as her face resumed it's normal shape and smoothness. "I keep picturing Emma Watson and Rupert Grint holding hands in the Prisoner of Azkaban trailer."

Her face perked up, and she let out the official fangirl squee. "Skuh-WEE!" Siofra always pronounced it skuh-WEE, because that was more fun, or so she said. None of the other girls had tried the official fangirl squee.

"Stop squeeing and get on with my story!" Brianna said. Siofra let out a huff, but turned obediently back to the computer, scrunching her face up again. Kiara scrunched up her face, helping again.

Suddenly, all five girls disappeared.

Ben ran into the room, (no doubt to make another perverted comment about Sean Biggerstaff) and found, to his astonishment, that it was empty.

*

They reappeared in a ditch, by the side of a road. It was cold out, which was unusual for Texas in May. Hell, it was completely unheard of for Texas in May. The girls started shivering. All but Siofra, who wouldn't shiver. That would be admitting that she was cold, which would be admitting that she wasn't impervious to the weather, which would be a big blow to her pride. Siofra is just weird like that.

Siofra stood up, and gave Kiara a hand off the ground.

"Where the hell are we?" Kiara asked.

"More importantly," said Siofra, extending her hand to Alaina. "How did we get here?"

"How should we know?" Brianna asked, as she helped Seren off the ground. The girls were big on helping each other, for some strange reason.

Siofra did not answer, as she was too busy looking around. They seemed to be in the middle of a village, and a train station was on the nearest end of it. Siofra turned to Brianna with a confused expression.

"Brianna, is it just me, or does this place look uncannily familiar?"

"It's not just you," Brianna replied, taking in their surroundings.

"What?" Seren asked, shivering.

"I don't know," Siofra said. "I just get the feeling that I've been here before. Of course, a fat lot of good that does us."

"Fat lot?" said Alaina, snorting with laughter. They always made fun of Siofra's British expressions, not that Siofra particularly cared. She was walking towards the train station purposefully. And then she tripped over a rock.

"Bugger!" she shouted, hitting the ground with a nasty sounding thud.

Between laughs, Brianna helped her up. She was the only one who wasn't laughing so hard that they were incapable of helping Draco Malfoy off a Durmstrang glacier. Which was probably good for Draco Malfoy, but not for Siofra.

"Oh, Merlin..." Siofra said in an awed voice, running over to stand in front of a pub, her fall forgotten. To the others, the pub looked nice, but unworthy of the awe Siofra was currently showing it.

Kiara walked up to stand beside Siofra, looking up at the sign on the building.

"The Three Broomsticks," Kiara said musingly. "Why does that sound familiar?"

Siofra turned to Kiara, a dazed look in her eyes. "Been reading Harry Potter fanfiction lately?"

"Well, yeah," Kiara said. "But what's that got to do with...holy crap." A look of disbelief graced Kiara's face. "It's not...we can't be..."

"Yup," Siofra said, turning to the other three, who had watched this exchange with a growing fear that their friends were insane. "We're in the Potterverse."

"The whatta-verse?" Seren asked.

"We've been transported to an alternate universe, a different country, and four months into the future." Siofra thought that this about summed it up.

"How do you know that we've been transported four months into the future?" Alaina asked.

"It's May back in our universe," Siofra said. "It's September here."

"How do you know?" Brianna asked.

Siofra pointed. "There's the Hogwarts Express."

Sure enough, barreling along the tracks came a bright scarlet train.

"Wait!" Siofra looked as if she'd had a flash of brilliance. Her friends recognized this look, as she had flashes of brilliance quite often. At least, that's what she called them. Her friends called them crazy.

"We can go see Dumbledore!" Siofra exclaimed.

"Of course!" chorused Kiara and Brianna, who had both seen the Harry Potter movies. Brianna had even read the books, which puts her in good standing with the author.

"If anyone can sort this out, he can," Siofra said confidently. "Now all we need is to get in a carriage, and head up to the school."

"There's a slight problem," said Seren. "Won't the kids who go to Pigwarts-"

"Hogwarts," Siofra corrected automatically. Her friends' lack of Harry Potter savvy was particularly trying to her at times.

"Yeah, Hogwarts, whatever," said Seren impatiently. "Won't the kids that go to Hogwarts notice us?"

Siofra shrugged. "Screw them."

"Good point," said Seren.

They all watched as the Hogwarts Express screeched to a stop. Students came pouring out of the train like a sea of black chickens, chattering away to each other excitedly. Yes, chickens. No, the author could not think of any better analogy.

They heard the familiar call (for Siofra and Brianna, anyways) of "Firs' years! Firs' years this way!"

Siofra, Brianna and Kiara craned their necks for a view of Hagrid, while Seren and Alaina wondered what all the fuss was about.

"Oh! There he is!" Kiara called excitedly. The other two girls caught sight of him, and they all let out a sigh.

"He kind of looks like Robbie Coltrane," Siofra said musingly. "But he's got obvious differences. I wonder if all the characters resemble the actors that play them." Her voice got slightly wistful as she said the last bit, and Kiara looked at her beadily.

"No, Siofra, bad girl! No bad thoughts about Draco Malfoy."

"Spoil sport," Siofra muttered. "I bet you wouldn't be so quick to chastise me if Oliver Wood were still at school."

"Number one," Kiara said, still watching the students. "Oliver Wood isn't at school?! Dang it. Number two, did you just use 'chastise' in an actual sentence?"

"Shut up, Kiara," Siofra said. "You're just jealous of my massive vocabulary."

Kiara stuck her tongue out, and was about to reply, but Siofra walked forward.

"C'mon," she called over her shoulder. "We have to get a carriage."

"Damn," Kiara said, following her friend. "She got the last word."

"Hurry up, y'all!" Siofra said, turning back to them, and placing her hands on her hips. "If you're good, I'll take you to a Quidditch game before we go. Oliver Wood plays for Puddlemere United!"

That got Kiara and Brianna to hurry up, but Seren and Alaina didn't know who Oliver Wood was. The author forgives them, but only just.

Siofra climbed into an empty carriage, and her friends joined her shortly afterwards.

"Um, Siofra," Alaina said. "This carriage has no horse."

"Technically, you're right," Siofra said. "Thestrals pull the carriages. They're invisible, unless you have seen someone die."

"That's freaky," Alaina said.

"It sure is," Seren agreed.

Suddenly, this very intellectual conversation was interrupted by someone entering the carriage. Six someones, to be exact. The author does not know how six people, plus Siofra and Co., all fit into the same carriage, but it is essential to the author's non-existent plot that they all be here.

"Mind if we join you?" said a red haired someone who was unmistakably Ron Weasley. Unmistakable, because he looked almost exactly like Rupert Grint. Siofra, Brianna, and Kiara almost fell out of their seats.

"Not at all," said Brianna, who recovered her composure first. Siofra and Kiara would have spoken, but they were distracted by the entrance of Harry Potter.

Harry Potter looked strikingly like Daniel Radcliffe, but with obvious differences. His face was thinner, his eyes were bigger and startlingly green. He was also more lean than Daniel, and taller. He looked around at the girls, taking in their muggle clothing.

"You girls are new, aren't you?" he asked, smiling at them. Seren and Alaina were rendered speechless, whilst Kiara and Brianna were feeling jarringly out of place. Therefore, it fell to Siofra to answer.

"Not exactly," Siofra said carefully. "It's a rather...interesting situation. We're going to see Dumbledore the minute we get to Hogwarts."

"Oh," said Hermione, walking in. She looked like Emma Watson, except that her face was slightly rounder, and her eyes were more almond shaped. Also, her hair was longer and more bushy than Emma's.

"Dumbledore's going to be at the Welcoming Feast," Hermione said. "You might have to wait until afterwards."

"Oh, Merlin," Siofra sighed. She had just thought a bad thought. Ugh.

"What?" Ginny asked, joining them in the carriage. She looked slightly like Bonnie Wright, but not very much. Her hair was curly, and her eyes were large and brown. She had an outgoing, open face, and the girls liked her on the spot.

"Nothing," said Siofra. She mused that the characters must not all look strikingly like their acting counterparts in her own universe. She thought irrelevantly that she hoped the case was true for Seamus Finnigan. Nothing against Devon Murray, but Siofra thought that he looked nothing like her mental picture of Seamus. It was a totally irrelevant thought, I told you.

"Hey," said Neville Longbottom (who looked very much like Matt Lewis), ducking into the carriage.

He was followed by none other than Luna Lovegood herself, looking dreamy. Siofra supposed that she looked like the girl who would play her part in Siofra and Co.'s universe, but since they hadn't made the fifth movie yet, she didn't know. The author does not know either.

Introductions were made all around, although Siofra and Co. (minus Alaina and Seren) already knew who everyone was.

"Well," said Ron, attempting to start a conversation. "Who do you favor for the Quidditch cup, Siofra?"

"Slytherin," Siofra replied promptly.

Ron, Harry and Ginny looked at her in disgust.

"Oh, never mind," Siofra said. "Harry's back on the team, isn't he? Well, Ron, if you can shape it up and get some confidence, Gryffindor will be a cert'."

Ron blushed. "I wasn't that bad," he said angrily.

"Yes, you were," Siofra retorted.

"How would you know?" Ron said.

"Um, I'm...Alicia Spinnet's second cousin."

Ron did not look like he bought this excuse, but he didn't say anything.

"So," Siofra continued, leaning forward in her seat. "Who do you reckon will be the third chaser?" Her friends looked on in astonishment, as she continued to talk to the stars of her little Potterholic world. "I mean, Angelina and Alicia graduated. Ginny, of course, will be a chaser, but who do you think will be the third one?"

Ginny looked gratified, and Siofra continued to chat with the Gryffindors (and Luna!) all the way to the castle. If Harry and Co. (Yes, the author does like the "and Co." thing. Get over it) noticed that Siofra's friends were rather silent, they did not say anything about it.

"Forget it," Siofra said as they approached the castle, raising her hands in defeat. "Luna, you should just transfer to Gryffindor and become chaser."

"Sure," said Luna.

The carriage jolted to a stop, and everyone piled out. Siofra tried to jump down gracefully, but caught her foot on a step and fell flat on her face. Well, she would have, except that she was caught by a strong pair of arms.

She looked at her rescuer in astonishment, and met a pair of liquid silver eyes. It was Draco Malfoy. He looked a lot like Tom Felton, except that everything about him was sharper. Sharper cheekbones, sharper chin, and sharper nose. Even his body was sharp, but Siofra expected that that was because his muscles were well developed under his school uniform.

I've died and gone to heaven, Siofra thought blissfully, staring up into Draco's eyes. He stared right back, looking at her with confusion, surprise, and attraction. Oh yeah! Draco Malfoy was attracted to her. The author would like to take this moment to assert the fact that Draco Malfoy was a sixteen year old boy. As such, he was attracted to anything with breasts.

Siofra would like to take this moment to advise the author to stick it up said author's arse, and quit ruining Siofra's moment. The author graciously complies.

A throat clearing behind Siofra made the girl turn around. Kiara was giving her a reproving stare, her hands on her hips. She reminded Siofra of Molly Weasley. That made no sense, because Siofra had never even met Molly Weasley. Kiara reached out and took Siofra's hand (both of which had mysteriously become lodged at the nape of Malfoy's neck, all on their own), pulling her away from Malfoy's piercing eyes.

"No you don't," Kiara said in an undertone. "You don't get to snog Malfoy until I get to snog Oliver Wood."

"Then can I snog him?" Siofra asked excitedly.

"Maybe," Kiara said. "He is evil, you know. I'd be a very bad friend if I let you snog the bad guy."

"I never liked you much, anyways," Siofra said absently, staring at Draco Malfoy.

"Siofra!" Kiara squealed. "You love me like the sister you never had, and you know it!"

"I have two sisters," Siofra said.

"Have our twelve years of friendship meant nothing to you?" Kiara asked, in mock despair.

"Not really," Siofra said. "You were just there to make me laugh, until I got magically transported to the Potterverse and met the love of my life."

"And you planned on going to the Potterverse when you were all of two?" Kiara asked. "When, let me remind you, the Harry Potter books had not even come out yet."

"Yeah, basically," Siofra said.

"The love of your life is evil?"

"No, he's just misunderstood."

"What are you two whispering about?" Alaina asked, interrupting their verbal battle.

"Me," Draco said. Apparently, he'd been listening in on their conversation.

"Siofra?" Draco said, arching an eyebrow inquiringly. "I have some questions for you."

Bugger. Siofra knew that she was in trouble. The author would like to take this moment to state that Siofra deserved it. She should not have been having unclean thoughts about the bad guy.

Siofra would like to take this moment to state that Draco Malfoy is just misunderstood.

The author would like to point out that Draco Malfoy tried to get Hagrid fired, calls Hermione a mudblood, insults Harry every chance he gets, and looks down on the Weasleys because of their money. And that's just for starters.

Siofra would like to say that she really does not care.

The author would like to say that Draco Malfoy is cold, cruel, calculating, arrogant, snarky, sick and twisted.

Siofra would like to point out that she likes him that way. Evil people are so much more fun than regular people. Good people are boring. Take Daniel Radcliffe, for instance. Siofra had heard rumors that Daniel Radcliffe is a big prankster, who nicked Robbie Coltrane's cell phone and changed it to Turkish. He also is rumored to do other unspecified crazy stuff, that makes Siofra laugh when she reads about it, and inspires her to greater pranking heights. This, Siofra states, is a boy that she would like to meet.

The author would like to say that Siofra is a stark raving lunatic.

Siofra would like to point out that the author needs to get on with the story.

Siofra reluctantly let Draco Malfoy pull her aside.

"The Potterverse?" Draco said questioningly.

"It's, um...a Harry Potter fan club," Siofra was thinking fast. It was rather hard to think fast when Draco stared at her with those eyes. Those enticing silver eyes, the ones that made her go weak at the knees. But Siofra did not go weak at the knees, as it would be admitting that she was not impervious to the charms of a good looking guy, and it would hurt her pride to do so. Siofra is a weird person like that.

"You're lying to me," Draco said. He didn't question her, didn't ask if she was lying to him. He stated it as fact. The boy was good at this.

"Yes, I am lying to you," Siofra said.

"Tell me what you were talking about," Draco ordered.

"It's none of your damn business," Siofra said calmly. She then turned and walked back to Kiara and the others.

In case you were wondering about Siofra's bad thought (not the ones about Malfoy, the one that made her go "ugh"), it was this: What if they tried to sort her and her friends?

The author would like to add this thought: What would Siofra's friends do without her, if the Sorting Hat put Siofra in Slytherin?

Siofra would like to say that the Sorting Hat will not put her in Slytherin.

The author would like to ask how in Merlin's name Siofra can be so sure.

Siofra would like to say that she has her ways of knowing. And that the author should get on with the story, before Siofra comes out of the Potterverse and beats her up.

Siofra and Co. headed up to the castle, to face Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore. The author would like to say that she enjoys typing (and saying!) Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore. So the readers can just get over it.