Harry Potter and The Story In Which The Fermatas Get Loose

I don't care if you love.

Love is nothing compared to your devotion to me.

I am you.

You are me.

Tam tried to convince himself with these words.

I am you.

You are me.

But nothing would work.

Oh, how he hated her. She had completely turned his life from being one of Voldemort's most trusted followers, a general in his ranks, with perfect benefits, anything he wanted.

Except for one thing.

Love.

I don't care if you love.

Love is nothing compared to your devotion to me.

He hated her.

But he loved her.

He loved her beyond reason. Beyond explanation.

Beyond himself.

Curse his final year at Hogwarts, the year that had made his life fall apart.

***

Tam appeared at the King's Cross Station. He located a few of his Slytherin friends, who were also followers of Voldemort. Lucius Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle were among these. Lucius had a stringy, too-pretty girl hanging off his arm. His two bodyguards had never had girlfriends, and neither had Tam. Though many girls thought he was quite good-looking, they knew just how cold he would be to any who approached him, and moved on to other guys.

They all had, except her.

As of now, Tam only knew Holly as a Ravenclaw in the same year as him. His friends hated her, so he assumed the same view. The half-blood's silvery hair perfectly framed her pale face and ice blue eyes. She was Lucius' cousin, from the side of the family his parents never talked to. Lucius' father's brother had run off and proposed to a muggle, disgracing the family name. Tam assumed that this was why his family was so mean to muggle-borns, half-bloods, and basically anyone that wasn't a pureblood. Or purebloods that liked muggles.

This didn't bother Holly Malfoy much. The only people she despised were the popular witches, who thought that people like herself and her friends weren't worth anyone's time. Holly wasn't very popular, but she really could care less. She was too tall for the boys, who only considered her a friend, nothing more. Ever. Sometimes, Holly would wonder if she would ever meet anyone who cared about her in a special way...

Who loved her.

The year started out as it always did. Dumbledore explained a few rules to the newly sorted first years, and the feast started. At the Ravenclaw table, Holly laughed with her friends, who were joking about a few of the pranks they had played last year. Holly and her friends were a group of troublemakers, and had probably had more detentions than the rest of their year put together. They didn't care, though. Wasn't life supposed to be fun?

Slowly, the Great Hall emptied, and all the students went to their house dormitories. Tam went off to the dungeons, while Holly followed people in her house down a hallway. Holly stayed up a little while to read, but Tam fell straight asleep. Tomorrow would begin the year that would change their lives forever.

Holly woke, threw on her uniform robes, and headed to the Great Hall for breakfast, talking to Reana, her best friend at Hogwarts. Reana was nearly completely obsessed with guys, which got a bit annoying at times, but it was still fun to talk to her. She had the 'flavor of the month' system nailed. As of now, Reana was fawning over Sirius Black. However, Holly could see why. Sirius was quite handsome, and was just plain fun to be around. He had inspried her for some of her best pranks. But Holly didn't think that she and Sirius were right for each other. No matter how much she thought about it, she always came to the same conclusion: he's perfect for a friend, but...there would be something missing...if she tried to make their relationship any more than it was.

Tam also awoke, and lied awake for a few moments before getting up and putting his robes on. Not waiting for anyone, he walked to the Great Hall. He wasn't that close to any of his friends. None of them understood him. They just didn't get it that sometimes...he felt just so upset with everything that he couldn't be reasoned with. And other times, he would be as nice as a Hufflepuff. They didn't get it. He knew there was something missing in his life. Sometimes, it wouldn't bother him at all. But others, it would be there, just as plain as the back of his hand, and he couldn't get rid of the feeling.

Holly and Reana strode to the Ravenclaw table, and Holly, not watching where she was going, accidentally ran straight into Tam, who fell over onto the floor.

"Oh, sorry!" she said, helping him up, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," he muttered, and was going to pull away, but he noticed her eyes. Blue icebergs, catching and entrancing him, so beautiful, illuminated by the sun streaming through the windows...

Tam caught himself staring, and finally walked away. What was he thinking? Stupid Ravenclaw. Voldemort would be furious if he found out.

Holly was the only Ravenclaw in Advanced Astronomy, at least in her crowd. There were a few Hufflepuffs that she had seen around, some Gryffindors, and a few Slytherins. The boy she had bumped into earlier was there, the one who had frozen for a moment, but then walked away with no more than a one-word response. Reana had had a crush on him in their fifth year, but then decided that he wasn't going to talk to her. He barely talked to anyone.

So, she was here, thought Tam. Wonderful. Ah, well, maybe now he could tell himself just how bad for him she was. Plus, if he ever started to like her, Voldemort would have his head. Things were like that, when you worked for the Dark Lord.

"Ah, hello, students," said Proffesor Srats, "I will need you all to get into groups of three, there are twenty-one of you here, so that shouldn't be a problem. These will be your groups for the year, all of you will be doing several projects, and we don't need chaos every time. Now, hurry up, we've only got so long."

Holly looked around nervously. She didn't know anyone personally in this class.

Tam had one good friend in Advanced Astronomy. It was Lucius Malfoy. The two partnered up immediately, and Lucius leaned in to whisper to Tam.

"Looks like my cousin doesn't know anyone here."

"Should we do something?" asked Tam, not beleiving the words coming out of his mouth.

"I guess so. Just so she doesn't feel bad. Maybe then we could get her to join us." Tam smiled.

"Holly," he said, and the girl's silvery hair whipped around to reveal her face.

"Yeah?"

"Want to be with us?" asked Lucius.

"Okay," she shrugged, and sat next to Tam. After a moment, the professor called everyone's attention.

"Everyone has a group? All right then, let's start," she said, and started up a review on the names of the constallations that appeared in the south-western hemisphere in December.

Much of the rest of the week went on normally. However, no one was really enjoying the year yet, the security on the castle was so high. Rumors of evil were beginning to spread, and everyone was living in fear of it. Couples could no longer sneak off to the Astronomy Tower, though many had tried.

Tam was beside himself with anger. He hated that Ravenclaw. She made him feel so strange, yet so wonderful, powerful, yet so weak, happy, but so angry! Messing up his life, that's all she was doing. He couldn't think anymore without his thoughts dwelling back to her. Maybe...maybe it was a spell...but what spell?

He decided to talk it over with Voldemort.

Holly couldn't understand what was happening to her.

What was going on? She couldn't concentrate on anything. At least she managed to get her work done, but it was so hard! This Tam...why couldn't she have picked a nicer guy to fall for? And...was she falling for him? Or was this some new sorcery that she was possesed by...some evil that no one could understand?

"Ah, yes, Tam...what is troubling you?" Tam had finally come to see Voldemort.

"My Lord. Something is wrong with me...but I don't know what."

"Explain this a bit more."

"Well, it's this girl. She makes me feel...so weird, and I hate it! I can't understand what's going on! She's messing up my life, and I can't stand it!"

"Now, now, calm down," said Voldemort in his smooth, silky voice, "What you're experiencing is quite normal for boys your age. You start to take interest in...females. However...you happen to take interest in someone who is not on our side. This may be a problem."

"I can't help my feelings. What if I start to love her?"

"You'll have to stop."

"Stop?!"

"Yes. In other words, don't start. Either, try to love one of the girls who are in alliance with me, or...turn her to us." Tam thought for a moment.

"Thank you for your time, my lord."

"You are welcome."

The next day was Saturday, and Tam found Holly looking up dragons in the library.

"Hey," she said, smiling and looking up.

"Hi," he answered, "Um...could I talk to you for a second...alone?"

"Sure," Holly said, and put her book back, "where?"

"Let's go outside," Tam said, and started for the door. Holly followed him.

"What did you want to talk about?" Holly asked, when they were alone.

"I don't know," said Tam, shaking his head, "It's just...when I'm around you, I feel so weird. I can't explain it...and it's awful. I can't stop thinking about you, no matter what I do, and I hate it! What's wrong with me?!" Holly smiled.

"It's called a crush, and it's quite normal," she said.

"Not for me!" Tam spat, and looked away.

"Well, what would you say if I said I felt the same way about you?" she asked.

"I'd say you were crazy, and were wasting your time," he answered, "I won't give in to this." Holly was silent, and Tam suddenly felt a burst of anger. He grabbed her arm.

"Why don't you say anything?!" he cried, "I hate this! Why can't you answer?!" Holly was quite surprised by his response.

"I...I didn't have anything to say..." she said, fear showing in her eyes. Breathing hard, Tam let go of her arm.

"Sorry," he muttered.

"It's okay," she said, "Sorry for making you angry." He nodded.

"Well, I guess you can go," Tam said.

"Are you sure?" he nodded, "All right, then. See you."

"See you." Their eyes met, and for some reason, Tam had a horrible urge to hit her and kiss her, all at once. What was happening to him?

Tam decided to have another little chat with Voldemort. It took about a week to get ahold of him, but finally, Tam got his desired talk.

"Something troubling you, Tam?" asked Voldemort.

"Yes, lord. It's that girl again."

"Tam, I'm going to leave you with one choice. Lead her to us, or dispose of her."

"D...dispose?"

"Yes."

"But, lord, why? What if I start to lo-" Voldemort silenced him.

"Now you're being silly. To be frank, Tam, I don't care if you love. Nothing is compared to your devotion to me. I am you. You are me." Tam stared at the floor, "Now, go." Tam nodded, and apparated just out of Hogwarts grounds.

What could he do? Tam knew that if he asked her to switch sides, there would be a definite guarantee that Holly would say no. And after that, she might report him.

That left Tam with only one choice.

To kill her.

Tam had never taken a life before, a human life anyway. That was for the more experienced and older death eaters.

This would be his first kill.