Harry Potter Big Brother

(Dinnertime. The caterer's drop off boxes of Chinese food and everyone grabs a box and inspects its contents.)

SIRIUS: Are these worms?
HERMIONE: (looking into the white takeout box) No, those are just noodles.
RON: (looking queasy) Umm, Hermione? Mind telling me what this is? They look like maggots.
HERMIONE: That's rice, silly. (She smiles at him affectionately)
LUCIUS: What are these tiny packets of black liquid?
SNAPE: Maybe it's a flavor potion...this food is just awful.
HERMIONE: Professor Snape you're not supposed to eat the wax paper bag that the dry noodles come in. Just the noodles. And the packets are Soy Sauce. For flavor, yes, but not a potion. It's kind of salty.
DOBBY: Dobby will get the plates so everyone can share from these boxes of food. (He grabs a stack of plates and sets them down, then hands one to each housemate. When he hands one to Lucius, Lucius purposefully withdraws his hand and the plate smashes to the ground.)
LUCIUS: Dobby, you butterfingered oaf of an elf!
DOBBY: Dobby did not drop plate on purpose! Lucius Malfoy let go of plate as Dobby handed it to him! (His eyes narrow with contempt for his old master.)
LUCIUS: Don't be silly, Dobby. Why would I want to break dinnerware?
PERCY: Break it up.
DOBBY: It is already broken, Sir.
PERCY: No, Dobby, just stop arguing. Ron, clean up that mess.
RON: (his mouth full of noodles) Me? I'm eating!
PERCY: Someone's got to clean this up--
GINNY: I'll do it. Just to have you all stop bickering. (She grabs a dustpan and brush and sweeps up the broken glass)
SNAPE: Has anyone seen Mr. Potter?
OLIVER: Draco was looking for him all day. Did you ever find him, Draco?
DRACO: Yeah. (He licks his fingers after eating an egg roll) He's up on the roof. Won't come down.
LUCIUS: All the more food for us!
HERMIONE: What do you mean he's on the roof and won't come down? What's the matter with him?
DRACO: Beats me.
GINNY: You found him and didn't even mention it? I've been looking for him, too, you know.
DRACO: I'm so sorry, I didn't realize you were Potter's nursemaid.
RON: We should go check on him. C'mon, Hermione.
PERCY: Oh no, you two. I'm coming with you.
DRACO: (sniggering) They might get lost on the way to the roof - in a closet, perhaps?
GINNY: I'm coming, too.
OLIVER: I'll grab my broom just in case! (He runs upstairs)
SIRIUS: You need an adult with you. Anyway he might want to talk to me.
DRACO: Holy cow! An entire entourage just for Potty.
RON: Shut up, Malfoy.
DRACO: As long as practically everyone's heading up there, I might as well join you. I've got nothing better to do.
RON: Geez. Anyone ELSE coming?

DOBBY: If Sir doesn't mind, Dobby would rather not be left behind with Snape and Mr. Malfoy.
RON: Fine, Dobby. Come on.

(The group tramps up the staircase and they meet Oliver on the landing. He's got his broom and is about to fly out the window.)

OLIVER: Which direction, Draco?
DRACO: He's on the North side, sitting on an eave. At least he was a few hours ago.
OLIVER: I'm going to scout out the roof.
GINNY: Be careful!

(He takes off as everyone crowds the window, straining to see out.)

SIRIUS: See anything yet, Wood?
OLIVER: Not yet!

(As everyone waits breathlessly for Oliver's report, Draco leans against the wall. He suddenly picks up a sound--water running, no, trickling. He moves down the hall and towards the bathroom. The sound grows louder. Making sure he isn't seen by the group, Draco slips around the corner and gingerly enters the bathroom. Creeping up around the bend, he peeks past the tiles to see Harry Potter, lathering himself with soap. Draco watches for a few moments before turning around.)

DRACO: (under his breath, smiling to himself) Who knew? I guess I'm the one who should be jealous!

(He slips out of the bathroom unnoticed and heads to his room to get ready for bed.)

DAY 5 -- MORNING -- CHALLENGE DAY

The house awakens and everyone stumbles their way to breakfast. The caterers have left Eggs Benedict, bacon, toast and orange juice as well as milk, gourmet coffee and sausages. Lucius and Snape are the first to arrive at the table and take opposite ends of the table. Oliver and Percy arrive and grab plates, while Harry lumbers in and sits down.

HARRY: 'Morning.
OLIVER: Harry! You gave us all such a fright last night. Don't be going out onto the roof anymore. We don't even have an emergency wand.
HARRY: Sorry. I just feel a bit claustrophobic with so many people all packed into this house.
SNAPE: Strange as it may seem, Mr. Potter, I echo your sentiments. How I long to go back to the spacious dungeons of Hogwarts.
LUCIUS: And Malfoy Manor's hallowed halls.
OLIVER: And I would like to live on a Quidditch pitch, but it's not realistic. We just have to get through this.
PERCY: Has anyone heard from You-Know-Who yet?

Everyone at the table stiffens, except for Lucius.

HARRY: Voldemort?
PERCY: No!...you know....WHO. (He looks up at the ceiling and around ) The one who's watching us.
HARRY: There's a whole AUDIENCE out there watching us, Percy.
OLIVER: He means Big Brother. Today is Challenge Day.

Ron and Hermione walk into the kitchen, followed by Dobby and Sirius. They all take their seats, leaving one available on Harry's right and one down at the far end, next to Lucius.

RON: Ugh, don't remind me it's Challenge Day.
HERMIONE: Don't worry so much, I'm sure we can manage it. We even managed the last one even though some of our number practically murdered their babies. She shoots a glance at Lucius
RON: Hey Harry. -- HARRY! Where were you last night?
HARRY: (sighs) I just went out on the roof to think, then I came in and had a shower and went to bed. Why all the fuss?
HERMIONE: We're just glad you're all right.
RON: Maybe this house is just making you moody, Harry. How about we go for a swim later?
HARRY: All right.

Ginny and Draco enter the kitchen and Ginny immediately eyes the seat next to Harry. Draco sees it as well and both of them scramble for it.

GINNY: Hey! Stop pushing me!
DRACO: Get out of my way, Weasley!

They shove each other on the way over to the table, and Ginny kicks at Draco's shins. He kicks back.

LUCIUS: Now Draco, play nicely. We don't kick girls, remember?
DRACO: (sneering at Ginny) She won't let me sit down.
GINNY: I'm not stopping you!
DRACO: Then move it because I'm sitting right there. he gestures towards the seat next to Harry
GINNY: I saw it first, I'M sitting there!

Ron rolls his eyes

RON: Why do you have to sit there, anyway? There ARE two seats, you know. Just get your butts in them and eat breakfast.
HERMIONE: Ron's right. We'll all need our strength today.
SIRIUS: I almost forgot it's Challenge Day -- has anyone heard from... (points upward)
SNAPE: Not yet, thankfully, though I suspect he is still plotting.
LUCIUS: I would be if I were him.
DOBBY: Mr. Malfoy plots most of the time, even when there are no Challenge Days, Sir.
DRACO: You heard him, Weasley, now let me sit so I can eat.
GINNY: NO, you let ME sit so I can eat.
DRACO: I'm not giving up. I assure you I am very stubborn.
RON: And a git, don't forget that part.
DRACO: Weasel will you kindly pry your sister from this chair since I will be taking my place at the table?
RON: I don't care where either of you sit.
SIRIUS: Stop it, you two.
GINNY: But why should Draco get to sit next to Harry?

Harry's ears turn red with embarrassment.

HARRY: standing I think I'm full. I'll be in the living room. Now you can both sit together.

He exits, leaving Ginny and Draco standing alone for a moment beside two empty seats, looking bewildered.

DRACO: See what you did?
GINNY: What? YOU'RE the one who drove him away!
SNAPE: Ahh, young love.
DRACO & GINNY: SHUT UP!
PERCY: Ginny, don't speak that way to Professor Snape. He's still your teacher.
GINNY: Not HERE he isn't. Get off my back, Percy. You're just upset because a certain person with the initials P.C. isn't here.
PERCY: That's not true!

Ginny sits in the seat Harry had occupied before Draco makes a move. He boldly walks around the table and sits next to his father.

LUCIUS: If you'll all excuse me, I have an appointment.
SNAPE: Appointment?
LUCIUS: Yes, in the Diary Room.

He exits the kitchen, leaving the remaining housemates to their breakfast and enters the Diary Room.

LUCIUS: I don't know what has come over Draco lately. He hasn't been scowling as much as he used to and the attention he pays to that Potter boy is most alarming to say the least. I can only hope he is trying to get closer to Potter as part of some kind of evil plot. If he's interested in friendship -- or worse, something beyond friendship, I am afraid Narcissa and I will have to disown him. A future career as a Death Eater down the drain. I must stop this foolishness. (Pauses dramatically) That Weasley girl seems to like Harry as well. I wonder if I can intervene on her behalf. That way, Draco will realize that his future is one of a true Slytherin. I don't like him mixing with the Gryffindors. As for my own feelings, I rather thought it would be much harder dealing with this lifestyle, but Snape has proven to be mostly pleasant. Still, I do miss the Manor. I'm almost out of my Paul Mitchell Tea Tree oil conditioner, as well.

He leaves the Diary room and returns to the kitchen. The room is empty save for Dobby, who is cleaning up the dishes and throwing away the trash. Lucius goes into the living room and sits in the recliner. Just then, the intercom crackles on.

BB: Good morning, housemates. It is Wednesday, Challenge Day. Today you will be split into two teams. The first team will be called TEAM RED. As I call your name, please stand near the fireplace. TEAM RED: Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Oliver Wood. TEAM BLUE will stand by the staircase. Dobby the House-elf, Sirius Black, Percy Weasley, Ron Weasley, Ginny Weasley, Lucius Malfoy.

DRACO: Why don't they call it TEAM WEASLEY? (Sniggers)

BB: Silence, Draco Malfoy, or you will have points deducted from your task before you even know what it is. Today's Challenge is: In the rec room you will find two large tables set up with two large mounds of plasticine. Each Team must use the plasticine to construct likenesses of themselves. You have the entire day and will be judged on accuracy, artistic merit, style, and creativity. You will find with the plasticine an assortment of sculpting tools. You are not expected to paint your figurines. If you succeed, magic will be allowed in the house for the following week. If you fail, you will continue without magic -- including broomsticks. Thank you.

OLIVER: looking like he's about to faint Did he say that if we fail we can't FLY this week?
HERMIONE: Afraid so.
PERCY: Did I hear him right? He wants us to make models of ourselves?
SNAPE: That appears to be the case.
RON: Oh no, I'm crap at art.
OLIVER: (takes a deep breath and thinks for a moment.) I can sculpt me on a little Firebolt. Harry, can I use your Firebolt as a reference?
HARRY: Sure. Let me go get it.

He disappears upstairs.

DRACO: Yeah, I need a few reference items, myself. (He heads off up the stairs)
LUCIUS: (calling after him) Draco? Bring me my mirror, will you?

Harry goes into his bedroom closet and takes out the Firebolt. upon closing the door, he sees Draco standing in his room.

HARRY: What do YOU want?
DRACO: Nothing. Well, actually I need to get a few things.
HARRY: In my room?
DRACO: (conspiratorially) Actually, Potter, no.
HARRY: So what are you doing here? And what was that big drama downstairs this morning? If I didn't know better I'd wager you and Ginny have a crush on me or something.
DRACO: A crush? Me? Maybe that Weasel does, but not me. I'm as straight as they come. Straight as an arrow, straight as a Nimbus 2000---
HARRY: Nimbus's are bent.
DRACO: OK, straight as the straightest broomstick there is.
HARRY: Well that's a shame.
DRACO: (narrowing his eyes suspiciously) Why?
HARRY: Because I'm not.

Harry pushes past Draco and runs downstairs and into the rec room. Draco is left with his mouth hanging open, pondering the information Harry has just delivered.

DRACO: (To himself) Well, at least now we're on the same Team.

DAY 5 -- continued -- CHALLENGE DAY -- AFTERNOON HIGHLIGHTS

The housemates gather together in the rec room where they find two long tables set up with aprons for each person, plus a huge mound of plasticine, sculpting tools, sponges and water.

RON: Whoa look at all this!
SNAPE: I hope Big Brother has provided us with enough plasticine.
LUCIUS: I'd wager I need about half of that mound just for my head. I plan on making a bust, you see.
SIRIUS: Your head is pretty swollen, Malfoy.
LUCIUS: How would YOU kno-- oh yes, you mean I'm conceited, do you? Well the best wizarding families can not be charged with being the most modest; we do have such achievements to be proud of.
SNAPE: Like making a BUST out of a MOUND for your HEAD?
LUCIUS: Precisely.
HARRY: I don't like the sound of that.
RON: (shivers) Ugh!

BIG BROTHER: You will proceed to make full body figurines of yourselves. The figures should be lifelike and an average of 8 to 10 inches in length. You have been provided for enough plasticine for one figure each at this size, plus an additional amount that equals one half the size of the original. Thank you.

SNAPE: I'm going to need at least 12 inches for my likeness.
PERCY: 12 inches?
HERMIONE: I didn't hear him say that. I didn't hear him say that.
DRACO: I'm going to need at least 14. How about you, Potty? I think about 4 inches might cover you.
HARRY: (glaring at Draco) I am going to create a NORMAL sized version of myself. Not an ABNORMALLY large mutant version, thank you.
DRACO: (scowling) I've never had any complaints.
HERMIONE: You've also probably never had any opportunities, either.
DRACO: Butt out, Mudblood.
RON: That's IT, Malfoy! You're gonna get it! (He reaches for his wand but is distressed that it's not there. Draco laughs.)
DRACO: You are going to have to reach for another type of wand if you want to "give it to me", Weasel!
HERMIONE: That's disgusting!
LUCIUS: Boys will be boys, I see.
OLIVER: I don't think I have enough plasticine to create a Firebolt for my figure to ride on.
DOBBY: Sir, Dobby would be most honoured to give you my extra share of plasticine for your model. Dobby is quite small and he needs only half of the original amount given to him.
OLIVER: Thanks, Dobby! You're not half bad!
SNAPE: Is there any way to color my plasticine black? I want my hair to come out accurately.
LUCIUS: Your hair? What about mine?
SIRIUS: Why don't you both cut a bit of your hair off to make the hair real?
LUCIUS: Cut my hair? You must be joking!
HARRY: Not to mention we'd be able to use their models as voodoo dolls.
DRACO: A what?
HARRY: Oh, nothing.

Draco, irritated by Harry's refusal to explain, "accidentally" throws a lump of plasticine at him. Harry tries to ignore him, but he keeps sending over little bits of plastcine as Harry tries to work on his model.

HARRY: Cut it out, Draco. I'm serious.
SIRIUS: No he's not, I'm Sirius.
RON: (puts his head in his hands and mumbles) Here we go again!

Ginny, who has been sitting quietly working on her model without saying a word, kicks gently under the table in the direction of Harry's feet. He looks across the table at her but she avoids his gaze. She kicks off her shoes and continues to caress his feet, pushing her toes up his ankle and under his pants leg. Harry's ears burn red.

DRACO: What's the matter, Potter? Your ears are as red as a Blood Flavoured Bertie Botts Bean!
HERMIONE: (Looking over at Harry) Your ears ARE very red, Harry. Are you all right?
HARRY: (Giving Ginny a hard kick under the table so that the table shakes a bit) I'm FINE, thank you. The problem seems to have passed now.
PERCY: (Eyeing Ginny suspiciously) Ginny, you're supposed to be at our table. What are you doing over there? Come on over here.
GINNY: I'm almost done, anyway.
PERCY: But it's the principle of the matter. You're on the Blue Team . You should not be fraternizing with the Red Team.
SIRIUS: I think, Percy, we're actually all on the same team when it comes down to it.
RON: Speak for yourself!
SIRIUS: I mean that we will all suffer the consequences if one of our teams should fail, and we will all enjoy the rewards if we succeed.
HERMIONE: True.
PERCY: Sirius, I'd rather my sister come over to our table.
DRACO: Me too.
HARRY: Shut up, Malfoy.
GINNY: Fine then, Percy if you always have to have your own way. (She gets up and moves her model and tools to the Blue Team's table. Draco immediately switches his seating and takes Ginny's now empty chair across from Harry.)

The housemates work quietly for a time, each making substantial progress on his and her pieces. At 5 p.m., Ron breaks the silence as he looks over at Harry.

RON: Harry, are you sure you're OK? Your ears are all red again.

CHALLENGE DAY -- EVENING

Harry feels a bump under the table, first knocking into his toes, then the soft feel of a socked foot creeps up his pant leg. He looks over at Team Blue and sees Ginny working on her sculpture and sneaking glances over at him. He continues to mold the plasticine between his fingers, but as the socked foot moves sensuously around his ankle and then snakes up his leg, Harry's ears begin to burn intensely. He dares not look across the table at Draco, but out of the corner of his eye he sees the Slytherin with a satisfied smirk on his face. Damn him! Thinks Harry, wanting to kick Draco but oddly unable to move.

RON: Harry, are you sure you're OK? Your ears are all red again.
HARRY: I'm fine. Everything's just fine. My model is coming along well.
RON: Do you need me to turn the heat down in here? Hey Hermione, is it hot in here or is it just Harry?
DRACO: (whispering so only Harry can hear) It's Harry.

Harry forces himself to look up and meet Draco's intense gaze. His smirk has faded and Harry recognizes a familiar look in the young man's eyes. His blue eyes are utterly smoldering with intensity, and Harry can barely stand it. He wills himself to look away, but finds himself transfixed.

RON: I say, Harry are you paying attention?

Harry is finally able to look away.

HARRY: What?
RON: The heat. Do you want it turned down?
HARRY: Only if everyone else is uncomfortable. I'm fine. Sorry.

Ron eyes Harry carefully and tries to ignore Lucius and Snape playing with their dolls - they've both fashioned weapons out of the clay and are now pretending to have their figures swordfight.

Ron looks thoughtfully at Harry and notices something strange about his friend's countenance and his proximity to Draco Malfoy. Draco sits directly opposite Harry, and Harry has the slightest look of amusement on his face. Ron looks down and sees a bit of motion under the table, just as he also spots Draco slumping down in his seat. Dropping a lump of plasticine on the floor, Ron dives down under the table and sees Draco Malfoy with his foot in Harry's crotch. Startled, he goes to stand but smacks his head into the underside of the table.

PERCY: Ron get out from under there, you're going to get hurt.
RON: I'm already hurt! OW!
HERMIONE: (rushing over) What happened? Ron, are you all right? Is it your head/? Let me see...
SIRIUS: This could be serious.
SNAPE: Oh stop with the Sirius jokes, Mr. Black.
LUCIUS: They're dreadfully droll, Sirius. I must agree with Professor Snape here.
SIRIUS: No, I meant Ron could have really hurt himself! (He gets up and attends to Ron) Hermione, Dobby, run and get a cloth and put some ice in it for his head. Ron, what were you doing under the table?
RON: (Scowling hard at Draco) Not as much as Malfoy was, apparently.

Big Brother: It is now 5:30 p.m. The Challenge is over. Please leave your figures on the table so they may be collected for judging. Dinner will be served promptly at 6 p.m. Please wash up and discard the leftover plasticine. Harry Potter to the Diary Room, please.

Everyone looks at Harry as he gets up. He meets their eyes and shrugs his shoulder to signal that he doesn't know why Big Brother wanted to see him. The housemates begin clearing the table and Sirius takes Ron to the living room to lie down on the couch.

HARRY: (Closing the Diary Room door and taking a seat.) You wanted to see me?
BB: Mr. Potter, I am well aware of your ongoing flirtation with Mr. Malfoy. Tonight you have distracted one of your housemates and this resulted in his injury. The other night you went up onto the roof of this building, thereby placing yourself in danger. Mr. Malfoy followed you out and sat with you, thereby putting himself in danger. I do not want to see behavior of this sort again, Mr. Potter.

HARRY: It's not my fault if Malfoy likes me. I didn´t even encourage it!

BB: If you do not discourage it, you are in fact, encouraging it. Whether or not you reciprocate his feelings, I am holding you as the responsible party. You must discourage any behavior that could lead to injury or damage to anyone or anything in this house, is that understood?

HARRY: Yes, Sir.

BB: Yours and Mr. Malfoy's figurines will be dropped from the Challenge. Seeing as how Mr. Malfoy did not obey the directions and instead of creating a likeness of himself in fact created an 11 inch - how best to describe it - obscene item, I can not allow your scores to be counted. That is all, Mr. Potter.

Harry leaves the Diary room, less shaken from Big Brother's chastisement than intrigued about what Malfoy had created. He had not even bothered to look at what Malfoy was doing with his hands - he was concentrating on what Malfoy was doing with his feet instead.

HARRY: (to himself) So that's why Ron was under the table. He must've seen--oh no. How am I going to face him now? And how am I going to face Malfoy?

CHALLENGE RESULTS

The next morning after breakfast, everyone is gathered to the now clean rec room for the results of the Challenge. Harry has a hard time being in the same room with Draco, and keeps fidgeting. Ron notices Harry bobbing around and nudges him.

RON: What's wrong? You look like you have an itch you can't scratch.
HARRY: That's about the take of it.
RON: Honestly, Harry, I don't know what went on yesterday between you and Malfoy, but it better stop.
HARRY: (Innocently) I don't know what you're on about, Ron.
RON: Yes, you do.
DRACO: Will you two shut up? Big Brother's going to announce our scores any minute. I for one hope we've won. I've got a bit of magic I want to try out. (He wiggles his eyebrows at Harry and Harry's eyes grow wide with comprehension.)
RON: I'll bet you do, Malfoy.
BB: Good morning, Housemates. I have good news and bad news. Which do you want first?
SIRIUS: Good news!
SNAPE: Bad news!
LUCIUS: The bad news, of course.
OLIVER: The good news -- please say we can do magic, please!
BB: The good news is that you have passed this week's challenge and are allowed your wands back for the coming week. Bear in mind magic is to be used responsibly and you may not use magic on any of the cameras or crew or try to circumvent the security system.
HARRY: What's the bad news, then?
BB: Two of you have failed the Challenge and will therefore be locked in the Diary Room together for a period of six hours where you must recreate your figurines. The detailed scores are in the Diary Room. The two persons who failed the Challenge must come to the Diary Room directly after lunch. You will find your names on the score sheet. The Diary Room will be set up with new plasticine and tools. Thank you.
HERMIONE: I'll go get the scores -- I can't wait to see how I did!
RON: I'm sure you passed.
HERMIONE: Well I know I passed, I just want to see by how much, and what Big Brother liked about my figure.
RON: (smirking mischievously) Your figure looks great to me!
HERMIONE: (blushing) Oh, Ron.

Hermione runs to get the scores and everyone waits in breathless anticipation as she reads the results aloud.

HERMIONE: Sirius Black, 8 out of 10 points for accuracy; 7 out of 10 for artistic merit; 9 for style and a ten for creativity. Big Brother says it was clever of you to create a figure of yourself in half man, half dog form.

Sirius beams while everyone gives him a pat on the back.

HERMIONE: Severus Snape, you got 9 points accuracy, 6 artistic merit, ooh a 3 for style -- ouch -- and an 8 for creativity. The notes say the position your figure was in was "unflattering".
SNAPE: Unflattering? Not stylish? (He flips his hair indignantly)
LUCIUS: I saw your figure, Severus. Posing yourself bent over with your hand on your arse was not well advised.
SNAPE: What do you know about style?
LUCIUS: (Pointing to his ponytail ribbon) THAT is style right there.
GINNY: That's a dirty scrap of a rag, that is!
LUCIUS: And you, young Weasley are probably VERY well acquainted with rags, are you not?
HERMIONE: Moving along -- Dobby, you scored 10 across the board. Big Brother says your figure was "whimsical and entertaining". Hermione -- ooh me!-- I got a 9 for accuracy -- what!? -- ahem, a 10 for artistic merit, a 10 for creativity and a 7 for style. (Reads silently for a moment)
RON: What's it say?
HERMIONE: It says I didn't represent my hair accurately enough and I don't have enough fashion sense! Well!

(Harry pats Hermione on the shoulder consolingly)

HARRY: I think your outfits are fine, Hermione. What does Big Brother know, anyway?
DRACO: Stop your sniveling, Granger. How did I fare?

(Draco grabs the paper from Hermione's hand, but Harry grabs it back.)

HARRY: Cut it out, Malfoy!
DRACO: Make me!
SIRIUS: I'll announce the rest. Here Harry, give it to me.

(Harry gives Sirius the score sheet and Sirius continues in a loud voice to try and silence the feuding Draco and Hermione.)

SIRIUS: Right. Here we go. Oliver Wood, you passed with a 9 for artistic merit, a 10 for style and 10 for creativity - Big Brother loved the Firebolt. He said it was a "true to life" representation - so you got a 10 for accuracy as well. Good on you! Ginny, yours got 6 for artistic merit, 9 for accuracy, an 8 for creativity and a - I'm sorry, a 2 for style. Big Brother thought that (puts on snooty voice) "though your figure resembles you very well and I like the way you created a tiny Harry Potter figure as I am assuming some sort of doll? - the style of your figure is sincerely lacking."

GINNY: That wasn't a doll!
HARRY: You made a what of me?
RON: Ewww, Ginny!
GINNY: What?
PERCY: I thought that little Harry figure was a giant cookie.
HARRY: A cookie?
PERCY: Well I only saw it from down the table and all, but--let's not discuss it. How did I do?
SIRIUS: Percy Weasley...Percy Weasley...ah here you are: Percy you scored a 10 for accuracy, a 10 for creativity, 10 for originality, and a 4 for style.
GINNY: PERCY has more style than I do?
DRACO: This is truly a sad day.
HARRY: Cut it out, Malfoy.
DRACO: My offer still stands, Potter. Make me. Or are you scared?
HARRY: I said it before and I'll say it again: YOU WISH.
SNAPE: Enough of all this about who passed - I want to know who FAILED.
LUCIUS: First, how did my figure score?
SIRIUS: Lucius Malfoy,...you got 10's across the board but Big Brother requests that in future you do not submit real hair with your figure as it poses a health concern. Let's see ...who's left...Ron, Harry and Draco.
SNAPE: We know two of you failed, but which ones?
PERCY: Anyone want to take bets?
RON: Mum would kill you if she caught you gambling!
PERCY: I was joking. Lighten up!
OLIVER: Sorry to say I don't care who's failed - We can have magic this week! I'm going to go polish my broomstick. (He heads upstairs)
DOBBY: If it is all right, Sir, Dobby would not like to know which of his friends has failed the challenge. Dobby would rather he not see the look of pain on Harry or Ron's faces so he will go upstairs and clean his bedroom.
HARRY: That's all right, Dobby. You don't have to stay.
HERMIONE: OH Harry, I hope it's not you!

(She receives a steady glare from Ron)

HERMIONE: (quickly) Of course I hope it's not you, either, Ron.
RON: Well it's gotta be one of us. Or maybe it's both of us?
SIRIUS: I can tell you who it is since I've got the score sheet. Loser number one is - Harry Potter.
GINNY: If I'd known Harry was going to fail and get locked in the Diary Room, I'd have screwed up my figure on purpose!
SIRIUS: The other failure is -
HERMIONE: Must you say it like that?
RON: Yeah, that doesn't sound nice at all. "Loser" and "failure".
SIRIUS: Well how do you want me to say it? It's the truth, isn't it?
SNAPE: Call a spade a spade, I say.
LUCIUS: For once Severus, I agree.

RON: Out with it then, I can't stand the suspense anymore.
SIRIUS: The second Non-Winner--(he nods to the housemates) and the boy who will spend 6 whole hours alone with Harry Potter in a closet--
PERCY: Diary Room.
SIRIUS: Yes, whatever - the lad who's figure was just bad enough--
HERMIONE: Get on with it!
LUCIUS: Please don't let it be my son!
GINNY: I can't watch!
PERCY: Watch? Don't you mean "hear"?
GINNY: That, too!
SIRIUS: The guy who scored a 1 for artistic merit, a 1 for style, a 1 for creativity and a big fat ZERO for accuracy is--