Harry Potter Big Brother

DAY 6 -- HIGHLIGHTS
SIRIUS: Mr. Draco Malfoy!

Draco, who has been oddly silent, smiles to himself briefly before adopting his trademark sneer. The smile, however is witnessed by one Ron Weasley, who stands off to the side, pursing his lips.

LUCIUS: No!
SNAPE: Your son appears to be a loser, Lucius. I mean, (coughs) a non-winner.
HERMIONE: Oh thank goodness it's not you, Ron.
RON: Yeah.
HERMIONE: You don't sound happy.
RON: I'm just worried about Harry.
HERMIONE: You're right. He will have to send 6 whole hours with Malfoy. I hope he can survive it.
RON: It's not him "surviving" that I'm worried about.

After lunch, the housemates who passed the Challenge go out into the sunshine to lounge and swim. Ron hangs back near the house. Inside, Harry and Draco tentatively enter the Diary Room and the door is locked.

BB: Gentlemen, you have exactly 6 hours to craft a figurine in your likeness. It may NOT be in the shape of a sex toy, Mr. Malfoy, and it should look at least somewhat human, Mr. Potter. Although the door will be locked, please remember gentlemen that you are being observed and you are on national television.

DRACO: Party pooper.
HARRY: (seriously) I think Big Brother really wants us to get this job done properly this time. Why did you make a -erm...obscene object, anyway? Didn't you know BB would fail you?
DRACO: I was only having a little fun. What's wrong, Potter, don't you know what fun is anymore? You're so bloody uptight.
HARRY: I am not uptight. PERCY is uptight. I am merely more conservative in my approach to things.
DRACO: Right.
HARRY: What's that tone supposed to convey?
DRACO: Nothing at all. Here take this. (Draco hands Harry a lump of plasticine and settles into one of the two plush armchairs that are set up in the room.)
HARRY: I don't know why Big Brother wants these figures, anyway.
DRACO: Probably so the network can sell them and make money off of our celebrity. Who wouldn't want The Famous Harry Potter's own handmade figurine?
HARRY: (groans) I'll probably end up making hundreds and hawking them on the Home Shopping Network.
DRACO: The what?
HARRY: Just a Muggle television show where they sell things.
DRACO: Hey, hand me that scraper thing there on the table.
HARRY: (holding it up) This?
DRACO: Yeah.

Harry hands the tool to Draco and as Draco grabs it, their fingers touch momentarily. Harry is taken aback by the tingle that travels from his fingertips down into his stomach and out through his legs. He shivers slightly.

DRACO: You better not be ill, Potter. I can't afford to be on camera with a red nose and hacking cough.
HARRY: You won't need to worry about it, Malfoy. We're going to have magic this week, remember? (excitedly) I can't wait to get my hands on my wand!
DRACO: (under his breath) Neither can I.
HARRY: What?
DRACO: I said, "So do I". Want my wand. Back.
HARRY: Oh.

They work silently for a time, Harry making good progress with his now human looking figure and Draco with his less phallic representation. Meanwhile, in the backyard the housemates are holding a competition to see who can hold their breath underwater the longest. Snape is referee.

SNAPE: I've got a stopwatch. Each of you in turn will submerge completely. Come up when you've run out of breath. Wood, you first.

OLIVER: Oi, I was just working on my tan!
HERMIONE: What tan?
OLIVER: (exasperatedly) Well it's not there yet because I'm working on it.
HERMIONE: Pardon me! (to Ron) Someone's in a snit today!
DOBBY: Professor Snape, Sir, Dobby would like to volunteer to go first, Sir.
SNAPE: All right then. (He sets the clock as Dobby gets into the pool.) GO!

Dobby dunks under the water and stays there for about three minutes. Hermione watches, concerned.

HERMIONE: How long can house-elves hold their breath?
LUCIUS: Who cares?
GINNY: I hope he's all right down there. I don't see any bubbles.
SIRIUS: (comfortingly, but with a hint of concern) I'm sure he'll be up soon. Elves are resourceful creatures.

Dobby resurfaces with a smile.

SIRIUS: There you are!
SNAPE: Time! Four minutes and ten seconds.
RON: Way to go, Dobby!
HERMIONE: Whoo hoo!
SNAPE: Who's next?
PERCY: I'll be next. (He jumps into the pool and prepares to submerge.) I'm sure I can outdo all of you at this simple task. What could be simpler than just holding your breath?
RON: Yeah, you've sure got enough practice snogging Penelope Clearwater!

Everyone laughs good-naturedly as Percy sneers.

PERCY: Look who's talking!

Ron's ears go red.

SNAPE: Ready? GO!

The housemates wait patiently as Percy holds his breath under the water. After 3 minutes have ticked by, Ron starts to get worried.

RON: Hey Percy you ok down there?
SNAPE: I don't think he can hear you, Mr. Weasley. (Checks the clock) He has been under for quite a long time. We're approaching 4 minutes.
LUCIUS: (Mildly interested) Come on up now, Mr. Weasley, you've proven your point.

There is silence from the pool. For a moment everyone is frozen, unsure of what to do. They all move to the edge of the pool and peer into it. Percy seems to have gone limp.

DOBBY: Sirs, Dobby thinks Percy Weasley is drowning!
RON: Well get him out of there!
SNAPE: ...5 minutes...
OLIVER: I'll get him!

Oliver jumps in and rescues a now unconscious Percy and lays him next to the pool. The housemates then stare down at Percy who is now turning a bit blue.

RON: (panicking) For fuck's sake, someone DO something! My brother's dying!

As soon as Ginny hears this, she faints on the spot.

SNAPE: The Weasleys appear to be dropping like flies. He eyes Ron.
RON: Does anyone know what to do?
HERMIONE: Yes - I need to perform CPR!
SIRIUS: CP what?

The housemates watch nervously as Hermione administers CPR to Percy. Ron is shaking with fear and as Hermione leans down to breathe life into Percy, Ron finds himself also quite squicked.

RON: Hermione, not to interfere but are you supposed to be snogging him at a time like this?
HERMIONE: (Between breaths) I'm not snogging him, I'm blowing air into his lungs you git!
LUCIUS: (Amused) How lovely it is to bear witness to such an historic event, everyone: Percy Weasley's first bl--
SNAPE: (interrupting sternly) That is inappropriate, Lucius.
LUCIUS: Oh come now, Professor Snape. Pish posh! 'Twas only a joke.
DOBBY: Dobby does not like Lucius Malfoy's joke.
RON: My brother's practically DEAD and you're talking crap! If I only had my wand, you'd be toast!
LUCIUS: Do not speak to me in such an insolent manner.
SIRIUS: He's just scared, Lucius. (He turns to Hermione who is kneeling beside Percy on the deck.) How is he, Hermione?

At that moment, Percy starts sputtering and coughing. He coughs out water, then breathes on his own. Hermione heaves a sigh of relief and tears appear in her eyes. Ron is also crying, as well as a joyous Sirius and Dobby. Ron throws himself on his brother.

RON: AHHH! You're alive! Don't ever do that to me again!
PERCY: (a bit dazed) Did I win?
SIRIUS: I'd say you did. Very clever Mr. Weasley to try and circumvent the eviction process!

Everyone laughs out of relief as Percy is helped to his feet by Ron and Hermione. He runs his hand through his wet ginger curls and looks thoughtfully at Hermione as they walk inside. He is helped up the stairs and set on the end of his bed.

RON: Are you all right now?
PERCY: I think so.
HERMIONE: I'd best leave you to change your clothes then. I'm glad you're all right, Percy.
PERCY: Thanks to you. You saved my life!
RON: She was brilliant! Do you remember anything?
PERCY: Just vaguely.
RON: I'll go get you something hot to drink. C'mon, Hermione.

As Hermione follows Ron out, Percy jumps up and grabs her arm gently. She turns to look at him quizzically.

PERCY: I am really...I could've...I mean to say I--
HERMIONE: (She smiles warmly up at him) You're welcome.

Percy smiles back. He watches Hermione turn and leave, then reflects on the events that had just passed.

PERCY: (whispers aloud to himself) She kissed me!

Back in the Diary Room, Harry and Draco are oblivious to the happenings in the backyard. They have four hours left on the time clock, and neither is anywhere close to finishing his piece. They have not said a word to each other for over an hour and a half. Draco finally breaks the silence.

DRACO: It's eviction day, isn't it?
HARRY: Yeah.
DRACO: Who do you think will get the boot?
HARRY: I honestly don't know. (he pauses.) Are you worried about your father getting evicted?
DRACO: The short answer is hells no.
HARRY: And the long answer?
DRACO: He's a git.
HARRY: Ahh.
DRACO: He treats me like a child.
HARRY: From what I see he doesn't seem to know you exist most of the time.
DRACO: Thanks a lot, Potter.
HARRY: Sorry but it's true.
DRACO: (resignedly) He does spend a lot of time with his Death Eater friends.
HARRY: Does he want you to be one, too?
DRACO: Of course! It's a family tradition.
HARRY: Do YOU want to be one?
DRACO: I haven't given it much thought. I just assumed I didn't have a choice.
HARRY: But you do.
DRACO: Maybe. But then he might kill me if I don't become one, so what's the point?
HARRY: Your father would actually kill you?
DRACO: I wouldn't put it past him.
HARRY: I'm sorry.
DRACO: Don't feel sorry for me, I don't want your pity.
HARRY: Then what DO you want?
DRACO: From YOU? (laughs) You don't have anything I could possibly want.
HARRY: So that WASN'T your foot in my crotch yesterday?
DRACO: I was confused--
HARRY: Just whose crotch did you think your foot was in, then?
DRACO: You like making things difficult, don't you, Potter?
HARRY: I'm not trying to be difficult. I just want to know what that was about.
DRACO: You weren't complaining then, why complain now?
HARRY: You caught me off guard.
DRACO: Liar. You loved it. You should have seen the look on your face.

Harry blushes furiously.

DRACO: There. See? I was right.
HARRY: I didn't know it was YOUR foot.
DRACO: Keep telling yourself that, Potter. You told me the other day that you're - ahem--"bent".
HARRY: I didn't say that.
DRACO: Well whatever the opposite of straight is.
HARRY: And you said you ARE straight so what were YOU doing with your foot snaking around my genitals?
DRACO: My foot itched.
HARRY: Fuck off, Malfoy.
DRACO: OK, I was just experimenting. What's wrong with that?
HARRY: Nothing, but at least be honest about it. Oh hell look who I'm asking to be honest - a fucking Malfoy.
DRACO: Hey I resemble that remark!
HARRY: You're hopeless. Just like your figurine.

Draco looks down at his figure. It's a shoddy piece of work with a head too big for its scrawny body and a few features missing.

HARRY: If you don't get that thing looking better we'll be in here all day, maybe all night!
DRACO: (wiggling his eyebrows seductively) You wish, Potter. Anyway, your figure is crap as well.
HARRY: Is that the best you can do?
DRACO: (to the audience) I'm locked in this Diary room with a madman, I tell you.
HARRY: Hey don't bring them into this.
DRACO: Into what?
HARRY: Our argument.
DRACO: Oh fuck it, Potter. Just admit you want me and let's be done with it. The sexual tension in here is enough to make this house spontaneously combust.

Draco stands and walks over to Harry's chair. He circles it, looking down at Harry's hair, then at his face. He draws close to Harry and kneels beside the plush chair, resting his head on the arm. With a soulful look, he eyes Harry until Harry looks away from his figurine.

HARRY: What are you doing?
DRACO: Nothing. I wanted to stretch my legs.
HARRY: Yeah. I'll bet. My guess is you want to stretch something else.
DRACO: You offend my virgin ears with that talk, Potter!
HARRY: Are you sure your virgin other parts aren't equally offended?
DRACO: (seething) You should talk.
HARRY: Me?
DRACO: Don't try to tell me my foot playing with your nether region was not the highlight of your young life.
HARRY: It was not.
DRACO: Then why didn't you tell me to stop?
HARRY: Maybe I was experimenting; ever think of that you slimy toad? Now get back to work, I want to get out of here as soon as possible. I can't take any more of your shit.
DRACO: Temper temper.
HARRY: Take care I don't overdo it. You'll be the worse for it if I do.
DRACO: Oliver Twist?
HARRY: Holy Merlin, you're actually LITERATE?
DRACO: You think I don't know that speech? That's a crucial part of the book.
HARRY: You never cease to amaze me.
DRACO: Thank you. (He looks up at Harry meaningfully)
HARRY: Stop that.
DRACO: Why? I thought we were getting somewhere.
HARRY: You're distracting me.
DRACO: Oh, am I in your light?

Draco crawls around to the front of the chair and puts his hands on Harry's knees as he kneels in front of him.

HARRY: Get off.
DRACO: Don't mind if I do.

Harry stares into Draco's cold blue eyes and sees a twinkle of softness in them.

HARRY: (whispering) You git.

Draco begins kneading Harry's knees gently, then moves his hands up Harry's thighs very slowly. Harry's breath quickens and he swallows hard. Draco's hands are moving dangerously close to Harry's zip. He drops his figurine over the side of the chair as Draco's nimble fingers reach his belt.

Outside the Diary Room, things aren't quite so hot.

OLIVER: The refridgetater is broken, I think.

He takes a gallon jug of milk from the fridge and holds it up. It is completely frozen solid.

SNAPE: Just grand.
LUCIUS: How do you fix it?
HERMIONE: We need to call someone.
SIRIUS: How about Big Brother?
HERMIONE: That would be a wise choice, Sirius. You do that. I'm going upstairs to check on Percy.

On her way past the living room Hermione passes Ron, who is sulking on the sofa.

HERMIONE: What's wrong, Ron?
RON: They've been in there for ages!
HERMIONE: Who? You mean Draco and Harry? I'm sure they're all right. How much trouble could they get into? Anyway, they wouldn't dare do anything - out of the ordinary. After all, the Diary Room is taped footage. We'll all get to see it most likely.
RON: I don't WANT to SEE it!
HERMIONE: You're just jumping to conclusions.
RON: I can't help it.
HERMIONE: I know you'd have rather been in there with Harry--
RON: (nervously) Y-you do?
HERMIONE: Yes. I would, too. If you need to get stuck with someone for 6 hours it may as well be a friend, someone you can trust. Not some slimeball like Malfoy. But I'm sure Harry can tough it out. He's strong.
RON: (Relieved) Oh yeah, right, a friend. Yes, he is strong. I mean strong in character and all.
HERMIONE: I'm heading up to see how Percy's doing. Want to come with me? (whispers conspiratorially) We could um, make a detour into the closet if you like.
RON: Thanks, Hermione, but I'm just feeling out of it right now. Maybe later.
HERMIONE: Please yourself - by the way, you may want to check on Ginny.
RON: Ginny?
HERMIONE: Yeah. I think she's still passed out outside.
RON: Fuck. (He runs out to the deck to find Ginny)

Hermione makes her way upstairs and stands outside Percy's bedroom door. All is silent within, and she wonders if he is sleeping

HERMIONE: Maybe I shouldn't bother him...

Suddenly Hermione picks up on a sound; a low groan is heard inside Percy's room. Hermione wonders if Percy is ill, and tentatively reaches for the door when she hears something that makes her hand stop cold. Percy's voice in a low rumble, calling out her name. Hermione stands rooted to the spot, unable to move. She listens to the sounds coming from the room for a few minutes, intrigued, then is startled by Ron and Dobby's voices behind her.

RON: Ginny's ok.
DOBBY: Ginny Weasley had passed out at first but was merely sleeping on a deck chair when we went to her. Dobby is happy that Ginny is all right, although today is eviction day and Dobby feels she will most likely be leaving us.
HERMIONE: (Worries about Ron and Dobby hearing Percy. She speaks loudly.) RON! DOBBY! THAT'S GREAT NEWS! LET'S GO SEE GINNY WHY DON'T WE?
RON: Why are you shouting?
HERMIONE: I'M NOT SHOUTING.
DOBBY: If Dobby may speak, Hermione Granger is indeed screaming. Dobby's ears are very sensitive.
HERMIONE: YES WELL DOBBY WHY DON'T YOU GO AND FETCH GINNY SOMETHING TO EAT?
DOBBY: Dobby would be most delighted to help Ginny Weasley.

He runs downstairs. Hermione grabs Ron and yanks him down the hallway.

RON: What are you doing? Ow!
HERMIONE: I'm sorry Ron but I am just overtaken with lust. Spend a few minutes in the closet with me, will you?

She pushes him into the closet and hopes Percy got the hint with all her shouting. She quickly silence's Ron's feeble protests with hot kisses, and he stops complaining immediately.

Ron and Hermione are not the only ones heating up the house. Downstairs in the Diary Room, Draco has a big, heated problem on his hands.