The Hogwarts Poets' Society

Harry walked very slowly to the Gryffindor common room trying to think of a spell that he could use to attack Draco Malfoy. It wasn't so much that he couldn't think of a good jinx, it was more the fact that he was afraid that if he attacked Draco Malfoy, the rest of Slytherin house might attack him. It was a very befuddling problem. What he didn't know was that Nearly Headless Nick had been following for the past three corridors, feeling very worried about the Potter boy.

"Are you feeling alright, Harry?" asked Nearly Headless Nick as Harry went to jump a trick stair on the staircase. Unfortunately, Harry had been very absorbed in his thoughts, and the sudden appearance of a voice started him.

He got stuck in the trick stair.

"NICK!" he shouted. "WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR?"

Nearly Headless Nick shrunk away, feeling ashamed and disappointed. He didn't want Harry to be angry at him. Nick had had an enormous crush on the entire Potter line, starting from Harry's great-great-great-grandmother, Athena Potter. In fact, it was because of Athena Potter that Nick was now Nearly Headless; she just wouldn't believe him when he said that he was digging through her underwear drawer to find a spare quill.

"Sorry, Harry, just wanted to ask if something was wrong," said Nick, hiding his disappointment.

"Well, no, Nick, there is nothing wrong!" said Harry sarcastically. "Except the fact that I'm stuck in a trick stair, I have to find a way to jinx Draco Malfoy without causing the rest of Slytherin house to attack me, and oh, yeah, I have a hoard of Evil Things that regularly plan my demise. I didn't ask for any of this, did I, Nick?"

"Er, no, I don't think so..." said Nick, uncertain whether or not he should suggest ways to help.

"No, I didn't think I did," Harry continued ranting.

"Harry," Nick interrupted. "It's very unhealthy to project your anger at your current life situation on me. However, if you would like some help, we can talk about how this all makes you feel."

Harry's eyes welled up and he started to cry.

"No! Don't cry!" said Nick, thinking of the pain he had endured the last time a Potter had cried because of him.

Harry stopped crying.

"Er, Nick, could you help me out of this stair?" asked Harry.

"Wish I could, Harry, wish I could," said Nick sadly. "Unfortunately, I am a ghost, and ghosts have no substance." Then Nick glided away.

"Nick!" shouted Harry after him. "Don't leave me! I thought we were going to talk about my feelings!"

It was about fifteen minutes before someone else came along, and although Harry had sincerely thought that his situation could not get any worse, he was now forced to admit that it could, indeed get worse.

Harry Potter was found stuck in a trick stair, abandoned by his house ghost, and feeling very sorry for himself by one Draco Darling Malfoy. He was flanked by his two cronies, Crabbe and Goyle.

His face lit up with glee when he saw Harry in such a vulnerable position.

"Er, hello, Malfoy," said Harry, trying to sound careless, as though he was purposely stuck in the staircase and was having a perfectly wonderful time there.

"Look, boys, it's Potter," said Malfoy, a dangerous glint in his eye. Apparently, Malfoy felt that now that there was no chance they would be stuck together in a closet, this would be a good time to kill Potter. That had been his original idea, right? He was quite sure of it. Crabbe and Goyle grunted and cracked their knuckles, eager to hurt somebody.

"You can't hurt me, Malfoy, remember?" said Harry, feeling braver than he ought to have.

"You're right, I can't hurt you," said Malfoy. "But Crabbe and Goyle, incidentally, are not related to me at all."

"Oh," said Harry, suddenly realizing the awfulness of his situation. "Well, I still have my wand, don't I?"

"Yes, I suppose you do," said Draco mockingly. "Petrifictus totalus!"

There was no time for Harry to react. He was put in the familiar position of the full-body bind, suddenly very sympathetic to how Neville had felt in first year.

"Now you can't use your wand, can you?" Draco asked maliciously. Of course, Harry couldn't respond.

"Er....Draco....I....don't....think...he...can....say...anything...."said Crabbe very, very slowly.

"Thank you very much for that information, Crabbe," said Draco sarcastically. Crabbe, of course, doesn't have the mental capacity to catch the subtleties of sarcasm, so he genuinely thought he was receiving a compliment. He nodded his head, feeling useful and happy.

"Mmmffmmmfffmmmmnnnmmnnmmmhhhhmmnfffmmm," said Harry. What he really meant was, "Thank you for jinxing me so that I don't have to attack you later."

"There's no use begging for mercy!" Draco Malfoy said nefariously.

"Mmmmnnmmmnniiimmmnnfffmmmhhhmmmnnhhh," said Harry. What he really meant was, "I wasn't trying to beg for mercy!"

"Mwahahahahahahaha!" said Draco Malfoy. "Crabbe, Goyle, you two stay here and make sure nobody tries to rescue him. If anybody asks, pretend you don't know what they're talking about. That shouldn't be too difficult, should it?"

And Draco Malfoy began to walk away, mentally making a list in his mind about what he would need for his Torture Harry Potter session. At the top of his list were angel hair spaghetti noodles, Jell-O, a rubber duck, and some duct tape.

He got about fifty feet away from Harry when it felt as though Hagrid had tied a rope around his waist and was yanking on him. He walked more quickly, hoping to outrun the spell, but, alas, he started moving backwards at an alarming pace. When he was about six inches away from Harry's face, he stopped moving and landed on his bum.

"Ow!" he yelped. "What was that about?"

"Mmmmfmmmhhhmmmnfffmmmhhmmm?" said Harry.

"You know what's going on," Draco accused.

"Mmmmfffmmhhhhmmmmmhhhfffmmmmfffmmmffhhh," said Harry.

"You're coming with me," said Draco, narrowing his eyes angrily. "And this can't be the stupid Alliance thing..."

Suddenly a look of dawning comprehension lit up his face.

"DAMN!" he shouted. "DAMN! DAMN! DOUBLE BLOODY DAMN!"

"Er....Draco....is....there....a....problem....?" asked Goyle very seriously.

"YES!" said Draco, knowing that sarcasm would get him nowhere right now. "There is a VERY BIG PROBLEM!"

"That.....doesn't.....sound.....good....." said Crabbe. It took him about forty seconds to get this short sentence out. Draco, of course, was running on limited patience.

"Do something useful and go fetch Snape!" said Draco angrily. "NOW!"

Crabbe and Goyle looked at each other nervously. They didn't like going anywhere by themselves. Most of the time, they got lost.

"Er....Draco.....what.....happens.....if....we.....get....lost....?" asked Goyle.

"You won't get lost," sighed Draco, exasperated. "We've been over this before, remember? And besides, if you get lost, you can always ask somebody for help."

"Er....okay....then....," said Goyle apprehensively.

"GO!" shouted Draco.

"MMMMFFF!" shouted Harry.

Crabbe and Goyle ambled away very, very slowly. Draco slumped down, feeling very unhappy. He was stuck here with a useless Harry Potter. He had hoped that their lives would go back to normal in the near future, but there didn't seem to be any chance of that happening.

"Mmmmfffmmhhmmnnmmmhhfffmm," said Harry. He, too, sounded unhappy, but that might be because he couldn't open his mouth.

Draco carefully stashed Harry's wand away where he couldn't get to it. Then he undid the spell.

"Now, what were you trying to say?" snarled Draco.

"I was trying to say, 'thank you for jinxing me so that I won't have to attack you later,'" said Harry.

"And why, pray tell, would you have to attack me later?" asked Draco, already bored with the conversation. Despite everything that had happened between them, in his core, Draco still detested Harry Potter.

"Because Dumbledore told me to," said Harry simply, hoping Draco would drop the subject.

"Oh, yes, that makes perfect sense," said Draco in the same bored tone. "Wait, what? Why would Dumbledore tell you to attack me?"

"Er..." said Harry evasively. "Well, you know, he has his reasons...ACK!" The ACK came when Harry suddenly found his throat being attacked by Draco Malfoy.

"Ah, my jugular!" he choked out.

"I'll only let go if you promise to tell me," snarled Draco.

"Fine, I'll tell!" spluttered Harry. Draco let go. "Dumbledore wanted me to attack you because your father is planning on Bonding you with Pansy Parkinson and then making you receive the Dark Mark and you won't have any choice in the matter and Dumbledore thinks that's wrong so I have to attack you so that we have a corrupted Alliance and have to spend 24 hours together and then you can't Bond with Pansy and your father's plan is temporarily foiled," said Harry so quickly that it was almost incomprehensible.

"No way," scoffed Draco. "I don't believe it."

"It's true!" said Harry defensively. "At least, I think it's true. That's what Dumbledore told me, anyway."

"Yeah, well, everyone knows Dumbledore's only one step away from the psych ward at St. Mungo's," muttered Draco.

"Hey, that guy's a genius!" said Harry.

"He's loony!" said Harry.

"Genius," said Harry smugly. "And you know it!"

"Loony," said Draco angrily. "And you can't see it because you hero-worship the doddering old fool!"

"Genius!" said Harry stubbornly.

"Loony!" said Draco obstinately.

"GENIUS!" said Harry loudly.

"LOONY!" said Draco even more loudly.

Then an owl came and landed on Harry's head. It's not comfortable having an owl on your head. They aren't exactly the cuddliest creatures you'll ever find.

"Get off of my head," said Harry grumpily. The owl, of course, did not respond. Instead, it stuck out it's leg to Draco. Draco took the letter.

Dear Draco,

I hope you are well. Your mother and I are fine, though we are disappointed in your lack of letters as of late. Hopefully, this is not a sign that your grades are slipping. You know how I feel about that.

I have wonderful news. Mrs. Parkinson has finally agreed to our marriage proposal. You will be Bonded with Pansy as soon as the opportunity arises. I think I shall ask Snape to cast the spell on you. Then it will only be a matter of timing.

On the same wonderful note, our leader has decided that you are ready to join his ranks. This will occur on the next school break following your Bonding.

Do not disappoint me.

Yours truly,

Lucius

Draco read the letter over twice in quick succession.

"No," he muttered. "It's a set up."

"What's a set up?" asked Harry, craning his neck to see the letter.

"How did Dumbledore know?" asked Draco with a hint of accusation in his voice.

"I don't know," mumbled Harry.

Then Crabbe and Goyle arrived with Snape.

"We....did...it....!" exclaimed Crabbe happily. "We...found...Snape...for...you...!"

"Yes, yes, very good," said Draco half-heartedly as he shoved the letter into his pocket. He didn't want Snape to see it, though if the letter was legitimate, Snape probably already knew what was going on.

"What's going on, Draco?" asked Snape brusquely.

"Well, apparently, Harry and I are stuck together for the next 24 hours...you know what? Never mind. I thought I wanted you to do something for me, but I don't," said Draco.

"Er..." said Harry.

"Oh, yes, Crabbe, Goyle, help Potter out of that stair!" commanded Draco. They obeyed happily. They liked being useful. It gave them a purpose.