The Hogwarts Poets' Society

Snape and Hermione swooshed their way through the corridors. Well, actually, Snape was doing the swooshy stalking; Hermione was merely following along behind him panting for breath. He stopped and waited impatiently for her to catch up.

"You really ought to try getting yourself into better shape," he snarled, before continuing to stalk along at an alarming pace. Finally, they reached the corridor where they knew they could find the door to the Room of Requirement.

They walked along the wall three times, both thinking desperately for a room where they could find Harry and Draco. Because both of them were missing (again) and hadn't been seem for about the same length of time, they assumed that they were in the same place. Hermione had searched the Marauder's Map frantically, but to no avail. The Map doesn't show the Room of Requirement, after all. She had dashed to Snape (well, walked quickly, anyway) and told him of her suspicions. Snape, meanwhile, had been thinking of ways to torment the first-years. However, after the frantic explanations of Hermione, they had set off.

They might have been better off just waiting patiently for the boys to turn up again. Or they could have gone to the Headmaster, or to McGonagall. But going off on their own? That was definitely not a good idea, as they were not, nor ever could be, fully mentally prepared for the sight that greeted them.

Draco and Harry were lying in a make-shift bed on the floor. At their need, the Room had produced some blankets. They were rather pink and fluffy, but they served the purpose well. Harry and Draco were tangled up and both were asleep. It was easy to tell whose legs were whose, because the paleness of one set could only belong to Draco Darling Malfoy. Hermione swayed a bit on the spot. She was feeling nauseous and slightly dizzy.

"Leaving," she sputtered. Her brain, normally of superb analytic ability, was now overheating with the pain of trying to comprehend what is happening. She stumbled out of the room.

Snape, meanwhile, had a perfectly clear understanding of what was happening. He walked over to the sleeping boys and kicked Draco. He woke up slowly; confused, he looked up at his Head of House.

"Where's the fire?" he mumbled before re-entwining his hands in Harry's unkempt hair.

"Get up, you idiot!" snapped Snape. "You knew about the Plan of Imminent Doom, you knew that Dumbledore is planning something with you and Potter, and yet you still can't keep it in your pants?"

"Hey, he came on to me," Draco protested, sitting up slowly.

"Oh, yes, a likely story," said Snape. "Potter doesn't have the brainpower to initiate something like this. We're going to the Headmaster!" he exclaimed.

"Bite me," growled Draco.

"Oh, no, you're coming," Snape said. "You can't take advantage of Harry Potter, no matter how much I hate him!"

Harry started to wake up from all of the shouting.

"What's the matter?" he grumbled, in barely intelligible speech. He started groping around for his glasses. It did not occur to him to wonder why he was naked and on the floor of the Room of Requirement. First thing in the morning, Harry was not fully functional. Fortunately, Voldemort didn't know this, because if he had, then all of Harry's adventures probably would have occurred first thing in the morning. He would have been a rather dead Harry Potter. Luckily, adventures always seem to happen to Harry at later hours in the day. It was a rather fortunate coincidence.

"Snape's here," Draco said.

"Eh?"

"He doesn't think we ought to be shagging when Dumbledore has a Plan of Imminent Doom floating about," Draco explained.

"Uh huh," Harry replied.

"What do you think?" Draco prompted.

"Shagging is fun," Harry grumbled.

"There you are, Professor. This was completely consensual. Er, you might want to leave while we get dressed," Draco suggested.

Snape spluttered incoherently.

"Oh, come off it, Snape. This can't be that traumatizing to your psyche. Hell, I walked in on you and that chick and I got over it," Draco said casually.

Snape spluttered some more. Harry, however, perked up, interested.

"Snape's gone all the way with a girl?" he asked, interested.

"This is not an appropriate subject!" snarled Snape, his words finally finding his way to his mouth.

"Aw, come off it," Draco said. "Well, I think it was a girl. I didn't really get a good look. You wouldn't think it, but Snape is more flexible than he looks." Draco shuddered involuntarily.

Harry almost nearly gagged, but didn't quite have the motivation to do so. It was too damn early. He settled for looking revolted.

"Will you cut it out!" Snape roared. "I'm angry! You won't like me when I'm angry!"

"Actually, I don't like you when you're not angry, so this can only be an improvement," Harry mumbled. His brain function was slowly coming back to him.

Snape felt defeated. He left the Room of Requirement with his shoulders sagging, his head down, and his self-esteem in pieces.

Harry went back to sleep.