Harry Potter and the Next Generation

Captain Albus Picard and First Officer Commander Sirius Riker were walking the hallways of the Hogwarts Space Station, touring the school, observing its activities. Things were running smoothly, for the most part...a rather unusual occurrence for Hogwarts.

They turned a corner, when suddenly they are forced to duck to avoid several PADDs flying through the air.

The officer shook his head as the flock disappeared down the hall.

"Those things are so annoying!" he grumbled. "Can't you do anything about them?"

The Captain did not look at Riker. "We could always resort to using owls," he replied calmly. "I believe it is the duty of the First Officer to ensure that the corridors and Jeffries Tubes remain free from...droppings."

"Er...nevermind."

But Picard smiled. "But I do agree. Those objects are dangerous hurtling down the corridors. I shall speak to Engineering. Perhaps we can use simple parchment rolls."

Their progress was interrupted again when a turbolift opened ahead and a flood of students poured out, talking and chattering amongst themselves, though somewhat darkly.

Picard nodded in greeting, but Riker was more sociable and stopped Wesley Potter and friends.

"Hold up there," he said. "Where are you headed?"

"Divination, sir," Wesley replied. Jake Weasley snorted and Hermione Dax rolled her eyes.

"Ah. Divination." He paused and harrumphed rather uncertainly. "Well, carry on." Riker waved a dismissive hand and the three students hurried off after their classmates.

*************

The students crowded into Professor Deanna Troilawney's office.

"Gather 'round, children," she said in her sing-songy voice. They gave dubious glances at the cushions and poufs, but sat down anyway.

"Today," she said. "We are going to learn the ancient art of reading raktajino grounds. Go to the replicator, order a cup of raktajino and drink it until the dregs remain. Then drain your cup, pass it to your partner, and interpret the signs you will find using the information on the PADDs at your table."

Wesley Potter and Jake Weasley sat at their table, drinking their raktajino. Hermione Dax joined them.

"Ugh," she said, taking a sip. "It's flavored with hazelnut. I hate hazelnut!"

"Let's just get this over with," Jake grumbled.

They exchanged cups, scrolling through the information on the PADD while peering at their cups.

"You've got a bit here that looks like a Horta," Jake said to Harry. "That means you're going to come across some wealth. And this thing looks sort of like a Ferengi's ear...so I guess that means you'll lose it."

Wesley Potter snorted. "Yours looks like an Talarian hook spider," he countered.

Professor Troilawney appeared by their table. "Well, well, what have we here?" she asked, plucking Wesley's cup out of Jake's hand and studying it. Wesley and Jake exchanged glances.

"Hmmm..." she said, her lips pursed, as she slowly turned the cup counter-clockwise in her hands. "Ah...a Romulan bird-of-prey. You have an enemy, my dear."

The other students scooted back warily.

"Oh, dear, dear...the bat'leth...the phaser.... These are not good signs."

Then, without warning, Professor Troilawney gave a little gasp and swooned gracefully back onto one of the poofy chairs. "Oh, no...my boy, you have the Gorn!"

"The what?" Wesley asked, confused. "What's a Gorn?"

"They're a fierce, warlike, reptilian species," Hermione Dax intoned. "I read all about them in Star Trek - A History."

Wesley turned several shades paler. "It's bad enough with the Q Continuum after me," he muttered to Jake. "But do I have to deal with ugly lizards, too?"

"Only in this class," Jake whispered back, nodding significantly over at their instructor.