Harry Potter and the Next Generation

The Hogwarts Space station hung in the void like a gigantic Christmas ornament, sparkling with light and magic. Captain Albus Picard sat in his chair in the Great Hall. He turned to Sirius Riker.

"Are you prepared for the arrival of the students?" he asked.

His first officer nodded. "Yes, sir. All the guest quarters are ready."

"Excellent. Lieutenant Lupin, what is the estimated arrival time of the transport vessel?"

The android, looking rather scruffier than usual, owing to his recent werewolf transmodulation, consulted the panel in front of him.

"USS Hogsmeade en route; ETA, three hours."

"Ah. That gives us plenty of time for a game of wizard's chess." He turned, smiling placidly, to look at a man standing off to one side, glowering. "Worferus, feeling up to a game?"

The black-robed Klingon scowled. "I am not," he replied. "I have much more important things to do, such as re-inventory my potions ingredients, as someone" - here he shot a hate-filled glance at Data Lupin - "continues to deplete my replicated supply of wolfsbane!"

The stinging remark caused just about everyone in the room to wince, except Picard and Data.

"Very well, then, Snape, make it so." He waved a hand dismissively and turned his attention back to Sirius Riker. "Perhaps Dr. Pomfrey would be interested."

On his other side, someone cleared their throat. He turned to regard Tasha McGonagall, Security Headmistress of the station. "Something the matter, Lieutenant?"

She nodded brusquely. "Yes, sir. May I remind the Captain that Article One, Section 12, Subsection B of the Code of Wizarding clearly states that..."

"Yes, yes, Tasha, I am well aware of our bylaws...having helped write several of them myself."

"You've said that before, Captain," Riker reminded him.

"Oh, I have? Well, then, never mind."

Further discussion was interrupted by the door swishing open and a figure sailing in. Her large, brown eyes were hidden behind spectacles slightly too large for her face, and her hair spilled down around her shoulders.

"Ah, Lieutenant Troilawney," Picard said, "how lovely of you to join us."

She smiled faintly and glided over to the chair on the Captain's left side. "I was just reading a new dissertation on the ordinances of Divination, when my empathic third-sense discerned the feelings of happiness and joy that my fellow colleagues would feel if I joined them in the Great Hall...not to mention the certain other feelings that other staff members might be also feeling." She looked pointedly at Sirius Riker, who merely coughed, turned red, and pretended to be studying his console readout.

Picard stood and tugged down his uniform robe. "Well, I will leave you two to discuss whatever it is you want to discuss. I think I'll take a stroll down to Ten Forward for some refreshment."

On the way, he bumped into Transporter Chief Hagrid O'Brien. "Ah, Hagrid," he said pleasantly, "are the reactors functioning at full capacity? We have a ship-load of students arriving in a few hours."

"Aye, Cap'n," he replied gruffly, "ever'thin's jus' tip-top shape! No problems at all, not a one!" He seemed somewhat edgy and nervous.

Picard smiled gently. "Hagrid, are you incubating Horta eggs in the circuitry again?"

The big man looked sheepish. "It's jus' that...well, Fluffy's been feelin' kinda lonely, so I thought he migh' enjoy having a playmate, an'..."

"Very well, Hagrid, very well...just be sure to keep them well fed." Picard turned and continued on his way, eager for something to wet his whistle. He hoped the bar was fully stocked.

He made it to Ten Forward without further interruption, where he found Filius Quarkwick ordering some house elves about.

"Good afternoon, Quarkwick," he said. "Keeping busy?"

The mutant Ferengi positively beamed at the captain. "These house elves are terrific!" he exclaimed. "They work like crazy and you never have to pay them." Then he frowned. "Except that one, whatsisname, Dobby. Sent him down to engineering, couldn't stand to have him around."

"Now, Quarkwick," Albus Picard said, chiding, "I hired Dobby in good faith, and he wanted paying. The least you could do is give him some gold-pressed Galleons for his trouble."

"Trouble! Hah! He'd eat me out of house and Knuts, if I let him! Anyway," he said, rubbing his hands together, "what can I do for you? You don't often come down here...can I get you a drink? Perhaps Jibetan red-currant ale?"

"Saurian Butterbeer, if you have it," came the reply. Quarkwick waved his wand and floated two bottles of the stuff from off a shelf.

"Just took on a fresh supply today," he said, "from Honeyduke IV. This is prime stuff, this is! I'll join you in a bottle."

"Not on my tab, I assume," Picard said, looking at him over the top of his half-moon glasses.

"Wouldn't dream of it, Captain! Five Sickles, please."

After being thoroughly swindled by Quarkwick, Picard left and decided to stop in and see Doctor Pomfrey. He bumped into Odo Filch on the way, who was furious.

"Captain, you MUST do something about...about...about that child!" he spluttered angrily.

Picard looked confused. "Child? Odo, my dear man, the students haven't even arrived yet and you're already discovering things to blame them for?"

"It's not a student," he snarled, "it's...it's...."

Comprehension dawned on Picard's face. "Ah, I see. The young Wildman girl."

"That's the one!" Odo growled. "If you'd just let me whip her, sir...or hang her by her thumbs in a Jeffries tube, or..."

Picard raised his hand to silence the man. "I'm sorry, Odo, but I cannot allow you to do that. Why, if I were to resort to physical violence, I'd be no better off than that Borg Queen, Umbrige."

Odo stumped off, muttering, "At least with assimilation, everybody behaves...."

Shaking his head bemusedly, Picard headed off down the corridor, only to nearly fall on his face when a child ran headlong into his knees. He looked down and smiled.

"Ah, well, hello there, Seffi Wildman. Have you been giving Mr. Filch a hard time again?"

"And her mother, too!" A loud voice echoed from around the corner, and another woman strode into view. Seffi tried to run off again, but Picard scooped her up and handed her back to her mother, B'Ella Torres.

"Takes after her mother, doesn't she, B'Ella?"

She snorted. "And huffs like her father when she doesn't get her way," she said.

"I beg your pardon?" Worferus Snape was standing behind her, arms folded, brows furrowed, looking intensely irritable.

"Nothing!" B'Ella said brightly, smiling at him. "I've been looking for your, Worferus. Might I speak to you in your quarters?'

By the time Picard returned to the Great Hall, the USS Hogsmeade had finally arrived and had docked with the station.

"Students are all on board," Sirius Riker intoned as the captain came into the room.

"Ah, good," he said. "Tasha, I'm assuming you'll want to go and fetch the Sorting Hat for the ceremony?"

"Can't," she said grumpily. "It's on vacation on Risa."

Just then, his combadge chirped. "Pomfrey to Picard, report to the hospital bay immediately."

Frowning, Picard hurried out the door and tried to use the turbolift. The doors wouldn't open.

"Picard to Engineering...status of the turbolifts?"

The voice of B'Ella Torres responded. "Sorry, Captain, but the turbolifts don't work here. Too much magic in the air."

"And don't forget," Riker called after him as he swept out the door, "you can't beam in here, either, with all the wards."

"I know, I know," he said, hurrying down the hallway toward the sickbay wing.

Inside he discovered Wesley Potter lying on a biobed while Dr. Pomfrey fussed over him. His two friends stood anxiously by, waiting for a prognosis.

"What happened?" he demanded.

Dr. Pomfrey looked up. "It was Q again, Captain. He appeared on the Hogsmeade and took the form of a Dementor...poor Harry's unconscious."

Picard sighed. "I suppose I shall have to speak with the Ministry. I have always felt that they were wrong to align themselves with the Q Continuum."

"I'll say!" piped up Jake Weasley. "The bloody thing nearly killed us!"

Dr. Pomfrey shushed him. "Hush now, let Harry rest. I've replicated some chocolate for him, so he'll be up and around shortly. And, Hermione, before you go, I need to run a few diagnostics on you. Hop up here." She patted an empty bed next to Harry's, and the young woman clambered up.

Dr. Pomfrey waved the tricorder wand over Hermione's stomach, causing Ron to turn several shades of green.

"Hermione! You're not pregnant, are you?"

She rolled her eyes. "Oh, honestly, Ron...don't you ever read? It's all in Star Trek: A History."

"What is?"

"Me, you idiot!" she shouted. "I'm a Trill! Why do you think my name's Hermione Dax?!?"

His eyes widened. "So that's why you're so bloody brilliant! And here I thought you only had one brain!"

She rolled her eyes in exasperation.

Captain Albus Picard turned and walked back out into the hallway. Another term had begun.