The Smuggest Thing Ever

~Chapter 2~

Narrator- In the last Chapter, Ron flies into the Great Hall. Pigwedgion skips merrily, and Ron cheers for Hermione.

Pigwidgeon- Hey, why am I not in this fan-fiction? You're leaving me all out!! All I did was skip merrily into the Great Hall, and I didn't even want to! Why me, why me!!!!

Hermione- Author, I thought that you had learned a lesson about proper grammar and punctuation! You see, Pigwidgeon said Why me, why me!!!!, and there was supposed to be a question mark because Pigwidgeon was asking a question. So there.

Author- What did you say? I wasn't listening.

Hermione- You're the author, you're supposed to listen!!! Then again, I guess everyone can't be perfect like me.

Ron- Go Hermione!!!

Fred- Ron, since when do you say, Go Hermione!!!?

Ron- Since the day you died. *thinking* And since the day I started liking Hermione, which was a LOOOOONG time ago.

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Luna- Hey girls, have you see that disco hippie?

Parvati- Ohh, he's so cute!

Padma- He's da man

Harry- Oh My God!

Ron- *Edges away from Harry* Harry, are you gay?

Harry- No, but this is my favorite song, other than the Polar Bear Jazz.

Narrator-I have come to save the day!

Hermione- "Narrator, its 10:00."

Narrator- I know!

Hermione- "At night."

Narrator- Oh.

Padma- He's da man.

Harry- Who, me? *bats eyelashes*

Parvati- No, the disco hippie! Duh!

Luna- Lets dance!

Hermione- Ooh sha la la, ooh ooh sha la la la

Ginny- Ooh sha la la, ooh ooh sha la la la

Lily- Ooh sha la la, ooh ooh sha la la la

Harry- Who is Lily?

Lily- Who, me? I'm the new girl. Lily Snave.

Harry- Snave...that's my uncles' maiden name!

Skibbles- A break out, 2000 zero zero

Ron- What the heck are you singing? *thinks for a second* And who are you?

Skibbles- I am Skibbles.

Ron- Well I knew that, but...

Luna- Purple Pokemon knockin at my door

Hermione- So free now, Im flippin trippin cartwheels in the breeze now

Ron- *gasp* Hermione....you......you.....said I'm without the ', flippin, and trippin!!!!!!!!!!

Hermione- Yeah, so what? It's a song.

Skibbles- Like never before

Hermione- Skibbles, you are so right!!!

Ron- Since when are you two best friends?

Hermione- We aren't.

Ron- Oh.

Author- Keep on singing!!!

Ginny- Our life is so wild like a child in a candy store

Luna- It's the same so strange like a game or a boy

Dean- You really got me goin

Dumbledore- You got me so I don't know what I'm doin

Fred- Wanna dog biscuit?

George- Wannna bone?

Lee- Wanna water dish?

Everyone except Luna- No.

Luna- Wit beyond measure is man's greatest treasure.

Hermione- Disco Hippie got his head in the sand

Harry- Disco Hippie got a world in his hand

Fluer- The...world...is...going...berserk! I'd better too. I want to be popular!

Padma- Supersonic technotronic machine

Hermione- Disco Hippie, you're da man

Ron- Me?!?!?!?!?! I'm so flattered! I mean.. gross!!!! *thinking* It's actually my greatest dream come true!!!

Hermione- Sorta.

Ron- *dies*

Hermione- Author, could you please bring Ron back from the dead?? PLEASE???

Author- Why should I?

Hermione- Because I said so.

Author- Ok.

Narrator- Ooh sha la la, ooh ooh sha la la la

Skibbles- Chicken soooooooooooooooooup!

Narrator- Ok, I know I'm the narrator and I'm supposed to know everything, but what was that all about?

Skibbles-I like chicken soap.

Author- You meant chicken soup, right?

Skibbles- No.

Ron- That one little word can mean so much.

Hermione- RON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" *runs over and hugs him* "You're alive!!!

Hermione (again)- Author, I did not just say that. PLEEASE erase it!!!! PLEASE!!!!! You have to or I'll go on strike.

Author- Ok. *thinking* I'm not going to so hahahaha to you

Great Hall (except Ron who is in a daze)- Ooh sha la la, ooh ooh sha la la la

Scabbers- Ooh sha la la, ooh ooh sha la la la

Everyone in the Great Hall- *look at each other and shrug until someone says,* Catch that rat!!!!!

Narrator- The great hall is in a frantic state as everyone runs around trying to catch Scabbers.

Author- Finally, some action!

Hermione- Everyone, freeze!

Narrator- They did.

Author- Great, just great. You messed up my story line again!!! *makes Hermione disappear in a flash of a snowstorm.*

Ron-HERMIONE!!!!!!!!!! COME BACK!!!

Narrator- Disembodied voice says, How rude!! I command you to bring me back this instant!!!

Author- No.

Disembodied voice- Ron, swish and flick and say Arbadacarba!

Ron- *swishes and flicks* Arbadacarba!

Narrator- Hermione reappears in a flash of sunstorm.

Ginny- What's a sunstorm?

Narrator- Everyone turns and looks at Hermione.

Hermione- How am I supposed to know?

Luna- Tick tock, well we all go crazy

Harry- When the clock locks