The Marauders Can Read?! (An MST)

*the Marauders are sitting at the Gryffindor table at breakfast one morning during October of their sixth year. Sirius Black is wolfing down bacon at top speed. Remus Lupin is watching and looking disgusted. Peter Pettigrew is also eating, but not quite as fast. James is picking at his food, but really too busy staring at Lily Evans, who is sitting a few places away chatting animatedly with a few of her friends, to notice that he's trying to put his fork about two inches away from his mouth. The post owls come, snapping all four of them out of it. This is because four black owls have just landed in front of them delivering notes.*

Remus: Odd... I wonder who they could be from?

James: Sirius, doesn't your mother have a black owl?

Sirius: One. There's four here.

Peter: Six, actually. Look-- L-I-L-Y and Snivellus got them, too. *points to them*

James: *figures out what Peter was spelling* LILY?! Where?! *runs his fingers over his hair to mess it up*

Sirius, Remus, and Peter: *long suffering sighs*

Remus: There're notes attached. *opens his and reads it aloud*

Dear Remus Lupin,

You have no idea who I am, but you will before long. Be at the Room of Requirement no less than half an hour from now. I have some very important information to you. Don't worry about your classes, I've got things all taken care of.

Love,

Nightwing

The Fifth Marauder

Remus: Odd... "important information?" "The Fifth Marauder?" "LOVE?!" What do yours say?

James: Same.

Peter: Same, but Nightwing said hatefully yours instead of love.

Sirius: Same, but she added a PS!

James: How do you know it's a she?
Sirius: The PS says,

PS: SIRIUS, I LOVE YOU!!! (don't worry, I'm a girl) (1)

James: ... well, that settles that.

Remus: We should get going. She said to be there in twenty minutes, and the stairs always take a while.

*the four boys hurry to the Room of Requirement. When they get there, they see a room that's completely empty except for eight beanbag chairs, a gold pedestal with a laptop computer (which only Remus recognizes because it's a Muggle thing and he's the smart one) and a worn purple book on it, and a gold egg chair with purple cushions on the inside. Inside the chair is a raven, which is staring at them*

Peter: There's nobody here.

James: What's the point of telling us that if she's not going to show herself?

*the door opens, and Lily Evans stops dead in the doorway upon seeing them. Severus Snape slithers in behind her, looking equally shocked*

Severus: What are you lot doing here?

James: Same thing as you, Snivellus. We each got mysterious letters telling us to be here. Though why "Nightwing" invited you is beyond me. (2)

Severus: Isn't everything?

James: *reaches for his wand*

Lily: GUYS! Can't you ever be in a room with each other without trying to kill each other?
James and Severus: NO! *look horrified at the fact that they just agreed on something*

James: *looks even more horrified at the fact that he was just bullying someone in front of Lily* ... but of course, we might be here for a while, so we might be able to be civil to each other.

Severus: Fat chance.

Lily: Thanks. *under her breath* Even though you're only sucking up to me....

*The door opens again, cutting the tense moment short. Lucius Malfoy walks hand in hand with Narcissa Black (sporting an engagement ring almost as big as her whole hand), followed by her older sister Bellatrix, who's looking disgusted with the pair of them. After they walk in, the door melts into the wall so that there is no door.*

Lucius: Here we are, Cissa, dear.

Bellatrix: Finally. If you two look at each other one more time....

Narcissa: Aw, is my big sister jealous? (3)

Bellatrix: Jealous? Of what?! I don't need someone to hold my hand and look at me so often it should be fined, thank you very much!

Lucius: Oh, look. We've got company. Mudbloods, blood traitors... *looks disdainfully at everyone except Severus* Severus. Haven't seen you in a while.

Severus: Hello, Lucius. *smirks*

Mysterious Voice: Well, now that we're all present and accounted for...

Peter: Huh?

Narcissa: Who said that?

Mysterious Voice: Over here!

All: *look at the raven, who appears to have said that*

Raven: What are you all looking at? *realizes something* Oh, right! Sorry...

*the raven flies over to the computer, hits a few keys with her beak, flies back to the egg chair, and transforms into a girl with a VERY long brown ponytail, and a black T-shirt that says "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good" on one side and "Mischief Managed" on the other* (4)

Mysterious Girl: Hey everybody! My name's Nightwing, but you can call me the Almighty Authoress or the Fifth Marauder. I know who all of you are, of course. *points to each one in turn* Sirius Black, who I absolutely love and obsess over--

Sirius: Who wouldn't?

Bellatrix: *snorts*

Nightwing: Remus Lupin, who I love almost as much as Sirius, James Potter, who's cool by association, Peter Pettigrew, who I think deserves to die in the most painful way possible, Lily Evans, who needs to come around to James's side ASAP, Severus Snape, who deserves to die even more painfully than Peter, Lucius Malfoy, who somehow sucks and rules at the same time, Narcissa Black, who I can't stand and will leave it at that, and Bellatrix Black, who deserves to die even more painfully than Snivellus. (5)

All: *silence*

Nightwing: And yes, I know my name is the name of a Batman character, but I didn't learn that until AFTER I started calling myself that. It's because of the raven thing.

Remus: *impressed* Is that all you can turn into?
Nightwing: Of course not! I'm an Authoress, remember? Which means I can do anything I want, and if you annoy me, I'm turning you into a donkey. So watch out. *hits a few more keys on the laptop*

Peter: *turns into a small, fat donkey* Hey! What did I do?

Nightwing: *grins evilly* I love being an Authoress. *types a little to change Peter back and picks up the book on the table* I brought you all in here to read a book.

Sirius: *horrified* A book?!

Narcissa: You said you have important information for us!

Nightwing: Chill, Narcissa. This book, and the ones after it in the series, are about your futures. So they are important information. *picks up the book off the gold pedestal* So, without further ado, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone!

All: *silence*

Remus: ... don't most Authoresses leave and appear in the MST as a disembodied voice?

Nightwing: *curses the fact that Remus and Sirius are her Harry Potter muses and therefore know way too much* Yeah, but I like these things too much. I'm sticking around here!

Slytherins (Severus, Lucius, Narcissa, and Bellatrix): *groan*

Nightwing: *throws fireballs at each of them and smiles* Such a glorious alternative to the same old- same old zapping thing. Anyway, Bellatrix is going to read first. Because I said so.

Bellatrix: Excuse me?! I refuse to do anything a dirty Muggle orders me to do. *turns into an unusually dark colored donkey*

Nightwing: You were saying?

Bellatrix: Fine! Just change me back!

Nightwing: *sighs and types the neccesarry thing to turn Bellatrix back*

Bellatrix: *angrily grabs the book from Nightwing's hands*

James: What is it with you and donkeys?

Nightwing: I like donkeys.

Bellatrix: *clears her throat meaningfully*

Nightwing:Right. Sorry, Bella.

Bellatrix: *in a voice that says only too clearly that she wants to get this overwith as soon as possible* Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, by JK Rowling... Chapter One, the Boy Who Lived...