I’m Not a Muggle Not Yet a Wizard

I’m Not a Muggle Not Yet a Wizard

By Mariposa

Chapter 8

"Oh, who’s getting married?" squealed Gillian.

"Percy! He’s marrying Penelope this summer."

Gillian sighed. "How romantic! I just love weddings!"

"I gotta go find Ron and the twins and tell them the news!" said Ginny.

* * * * *

Ron sat across from his friends the next morning at breakfast to find they were in a heated debate.

"What are you two arguing about?" he asked as he took a mouthful of scrambled eggs.

"We’re discussing who would make a better wizard in a Muggle movie," said Hermione. "Richard Harris or Ian McKellen?"

Ron shrugged. "I have no idea who they are."

Hermione turned her attention back to Harry. "I still say Richard Harris. He has that white scraggy hair just like Dumbledore."

But Harry was shaking his head. "No way. Ian McKellen has that twinkle in his eye that all wizards possess. And those Hollywood make up artists could do wonders to make him look like a wizard. Besides, I see Richard Harris playing a figure like Marcus Arelius."

"Okay, you two are boring me because I have no idea what you’re talking about," said Ron.

Harry grinned sheepishly. "Sorry, Ron. Say, what do you think of Percy getting married?"

Both Harry and Hermione knew about the wedding because they had also gotten invitations.

"I’m not surprised, actually. I always figured he would be the first to tie the knot in our family."

Harry felt a tap on his shoulder and turned around to see Ginny. "Oh, hi, Ginny." He smiled.

"Ginny, stop bugging us," Ron said. "Ow!" he exclaimed as he was kicked under the table by Hermione who was glaring at him.

"Honestly Ron! Is that any way to treat your sister?"

"Um, Harry, I was wondering, if er, uh, you know," Ginny said flustered.

Harry looked at her encouragingly. "Yes?"

Ginny looked down at her feet and mumbled something Harry couldn’t hear.

"What?"

She looked up turning slightly pink and said, "Would you go to the Yule Ball with me?"

Harry was about to say something when Ron jumped up and said, "Ginny, leave Harry alone! He doesn’t want to go to the dance with you! You’re just my little sister for God’s sake, a lowly fourth year."

"Ron!" gasped Hermione.

Ginny glared at her brother, then turned and ran off before they saw her tears.

"Ronald Gregory Weasley!" exclaimed Hermione. "How can you be so cold to your own sister?"

"But Harry doesn’t want to go to the dance with her, do you Harry?"

"Well, er, actually-"

"Ron, that isn’t the point," Hermione snapped. "You hurt your sister’s feeling and embarrassed her in front of her friends. Couldn’t you see she was already nervous about asking Harry? You made an awkward moment even more embarrassing. And since when did you start speaking for Harry? Next time let him answer questions that are directed to him." She stood up with a huff.

"Where are you going?" asked Ron. "Class doesn’t start for another twenty minutes."

Hermione gave him a cold look. "I don’t think I can sit here anymore."

"Great," Ron sighed as Hermione stormed out of the Great Hall, "now my sister AND my girlfriend are pissed off at me."

"Well, Ron, you were pretty rude to your sister," Harry said.

Ron rolled his eyes. "I was only helping you so you wouldn’t have to go to the dance with my sister."

"Well, what if I want to go to the with Ginny?"

Ron blinked. "You do?"

"Actually, I was going to say yes to her."

Ron stared at him unbelievingly. "You were?"

"Well….yeah…maybe."

"You can’t date her! She’s my sister!"

"It’s a dance, Ron! It’s not like we’re dating. Besides, I’ve been such a prat for ignoring your sister for so long. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to try to find Ginny before class starts."

* * * * *

Harry wasn’t able to find Ginny before he had to go to his Defense Against the Dark Arts class. Judging by the glares Hermione kept shooting at Ron, it was obvious she was still furious at him.

"Good morning!" Charlie said cheerfully. "Today we are going to begin to study the Diff’rent Strokes curse. (Snicker). Now can anyone tell me what they know about this curse?"

Not surprisingly, Hermione raised her hand. "It’s a curse used on wizards to provoke a great deal of pain and suffering."

Charlie nodded. "That’s right. It traumatizes the victims. Now can anyone tell me how it got its name?"

Again, Hermione’s hand went up. "It comes from the 1970s Muggle TV show about a rich old white man who has adopted two black kids named Arnold and Willis. There’s also a girl named Kimberly and a housekeeper named Mrs. Garrat

"

Charlie nodded once again. "Right again you are. This TV show was actually very traumatizing to the Muggles who watched it. The episodes were quite disturbing. One of the episodes involved a pervert who lured Arnold and Kimberly to his house to look for a dog. Turns out he ended locking Arnold in a closet so he could rape Kimberly."

The class gasped.

"How horrible!" exclaimed Lavender.

"And remember when Kimberly had bulimia?" said Hermione. She shuddered. "That wasn’t a pretty sight."

"And remember the show where Arnold finds out his teacher is a stripper!" said Seamus.

Ron started to laugh and whispered to Harry, "Oh man. Just imagine if WE found out Snape was a stripper."

"Ugh, don’t make me sick!" Harry whispered back.

"Oh, I remember that show!" said Dean Thomas. "Remember the time when Arnold and Willis were arrested for assault and Kimberly OD’ed on drugs and died. Oh, wait a minute! That wasn’t a show, that was real life!"

The class groaned.

"Well, as you can see, this was a very traumatizing show," said Charlie. "Now, here is the spell for it. It’s quite long. Repeat after me." He cleared his throat and said, "Now the world don’t move to the beat of just one drum."

"Now the world don’t move to the beat of just one drum," the class chorused in unison.

"What might be right for you, may not be right for some."

"What might be right for you, may not be right for some."

"A man is born, he’s a man of means."

"A man is born, he’s a man of means."

"Then along come two, they got nothing but the genes."

"Then along come two, they got nothing but the genes."

"But they got diff’rent stroke it takes."

"But they got diff’rent strokes it takes."

"Diff’rent strokes it takes."

"Diff’rent strokes it takes."

"Diff’rent strokes to move the world."

"Diff’rent strokes to move the world."

"Everybody’s got a special kind of story."

"Everybody’s got a special kind of story."

"Everybody finds a way to shine."

"Everybody finds a way to shine."

"It don’t matter that you got, not a lot, so what?"

"It don’t matter that you got, not a lot, so what?"

"They’ll have theirs and you’ll have yours and I’ll have mine."

"They’ll have theirs and you’ll have yours and I’ll have mine."

"And together we’ll be fine!"

"And together we’ll be fine!"

"Cause it takes diff’rent strokes to move the world."

"Cause it takes diff’rent strokes to move the world."

"Yes it does, it take diff’rent strokes to move the worrrrllllldd!"

"Yes it does, it take diff’rent strokes to move the worrrrllllldd!"

"That’s a really long spell," said Neville. "How am I ever going to remember that?"

"Don’t worry," Charlie assured him. "It’s really not that hard to memorize. Honestly."

"So you’re telling us if we use that spell on someone, it will vex them to have a great deal of pain and suffering?" asked Pavarti.

"Yep," said Charlie. "When this curse is used, the victim will suddenly be trapped in the most traumatizing event of their life."

Harry shuddered. He had many traumatizing things happen to him, it was hard to pinpoint just one.

They practiced the song over and over until the bell rang.

Harry and Ron now had the damned song in their head and were singing it as they left the class.

"It don’t matter that you got, not a lot, so what?" sang Ron.

"They’ll have theirs and you’ll have yours and I’ll have mine," sang Harry.

"And together we’ll be fine!" they sang in unison.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Don’t you have to apologize to your sister," she snapped at Ron.

"Oh, that reminds me, I still need to find Ginny," said Harry and ran off.

* * * * *

"Psst, you guys," Gillian said.

Ginny and Kjirsten looked up to see their friend enter their room carrying a big box.

"What’s in the box?" asked Ginny.

Gillian grinned as she set it on her bed and took out a –

"A TV!" Ginny exclaimed. She knew immediately what it was because her dad had raved about them many times. "You can’t even use that here. Muggle electricity doesn’t work here."

Gillian grinned widely. "That’s what you think! My mom charmed this TV so it works without magic! All you need is a wand to turn it on."

Kjirsten looked confused. "You mean it gets turned on?"

"Not that kind of turned on!" Gillian rolled her eyes. "You use the wand to make it work."

"Oh, that is so cool!" said Ginny. "My dad would just FREAK if he saw this."

Gillian couldn’t seem to rid of her grin. "I begged my mom to send me it because I was missing my favorite show, Passions."

"Passions? What’s that?" asked Ginny.

"Only the best show on TV!" Gillian exclaimed. "It’s a soap opera, actually."

"Soap?" repeated Kjirsten. "Like what the Muggles use to clean themselves with?"

"Not exactly," said Gillian. "A soap opera is a really exaggerated TV drama. It’s usually on during the daytime."

"So what’s Passions about?" asked Ginny.

"Oh, what isn’t it about? Let’s see, right now this, girl, Kay, see, she’s in love with her cousin’s boyfriend, so she decided she need to get rid of her."

"So what does she do?" Ginny asked as she and Kjirsten sat on her bed across from Gillian.

"Well, Kay gets the Book of Spells from this witch, Tabitha-"

"Wait a minute," Ginny interrupted. "Let me guess: this witch is evil."

"Well, yeah."

Ginny rolled her eyes. "Why do the Muggles always have to portray witches as being evil?"

"That’s not true, there’s Glenda the Good Witch. Anyway, Kay finds a spell that will put Charity, her cousin, in a block of ice. So she does that, then there’s another Charity who’s really a demon from Hell."

"Damn, this show sounds messed up already," said Ginny.

"Oh, it gets even more messed up," Gillian chuckled. "Everybody thinks the zombie Charity is the real Charity. Nobody knows that the real Charity is trapped in a block of ice except for Kay, Tabby, and Timmy."

"Timmy?" questioned Ginny.

"He’s a little boy who used to be a doll."

"Oh, right."

"Oh, yeah." Gillian started to laugh. "There’s also a character, Theresa, who got pregnant by her boyfriend’s father. Actually he’s not really his father, but he grew up thinking he was."

"I’m not even going to ask why she got pregnant by her boyfriend’s supposed father," said Ginny. "That’s just bizarre."

"Then there’s Luis and Sheridan," Gillian proceeded. She sighed. "Those two are soul mates, but I don’t think they’re destined to ever get together cause Sheridan keeps dying."

"Keeps?" inquired Kjirsten.

"One time she "drowned." Another time she just barely made it out of a fire. I think there was a boat accident once. She now has amnesia and lives with Luis’s estranged brother. Of course she doesn’t even know that’s his brother. She can’t remember anything about her past, just something about a dead lover. She can’t even remember her own name, so she now goes by Diana. But Luis and Sheridan were almost reunited by the power of the Bermuda Triangle."

"What’s that?" asked Kjirsten.

Gillian shrugged. "Beats me. I never did get that. Something to do with purple lights in the sky. I guess it’s like a lunar eclipse or something that brings lost souls together."

Ginny rolled her eyes. "No offense, Gillian, but that sounds like a really awful show."

Gillian grinned. "Oh, but it is! That’s why I love it so much!"

Kjirsten needed to do some work, so Ginny and Gillian went down to the Common Room. Colin was there too.

"Ginny!" he exclaimed. "So did you ask Harry to the Yule Ball yet?"

"Oh yeah," said Gillian. "I almost forgot."

"Well…" Ginny said. She explained to them what had happened.

Gillian rolled her eyes. "Your brother is such a git! Of course, what were you thinking asking him in front of your brother?"

Ginny shrugged. "I saw him and I just wanted to get it over with."

"Well, there’s still time," mused Gillian. "He hasn’t said yes, but he hasn’t said no." Her eyes brightened. "I have a way that will GAURENTEE he’ll say yes the next time you ask him."

"Next time!" Ginny cried. "I don’t think so."

Gillian ignored her as she stood up. ‘Now watch me." She reached into her robe pocket and pulled out a quill pen and dropped it. "Oops! I dropped my pen."

Colin started to giggle as though he knew what Gillian was going to do.

"Now watch closely…I bend over to pick up the object…then I SNAP back up." She regained her standing posture with a flourish, wearing a big toothy smile. "See? I just bend and snap! Bend and snap!" She demonstrated this for Ginny a couple more times.

"You go girl!" Colin cried. "The bend and snap works for me everytime."

"I am NOT going to do that!" Ginny hissed, embarrassed.

"Oh, c’mon, Gin, just try it," pleaded Gillian.

"Fine." She got up and soon she, Colin, and Gillian were all practicing the bend and snap.

They heard the entrance open and Harry came in singing a tune under his breath. He stopped when he saw the three fourth years.

"Uh, am I interrupting something?"

Ginny started to blush profusely.

"Oh no," Gillian said casually. "We were just doing some exercises." She frowned. "Why were you singing the theme song to Diff’rent Strokes?"

Now Harry was blushing. "I wasn’t singing the theme song to Diff’rent Strokes!"

"Yes you were! I could recognize that song anywhere. Whatchu talkin’ bout, Potter?"

Harry sighed. "It’s a long story. Anyway, I was wondering if I could talk to you, Ginny."

"Me?" squeaked Ginny.

Gillian put her hand behind her ear and strained as though she was listening to someone. "What’s that? Oh, you need us McGonagall. Okay, we’ll be right there! C’mon!" She grabbed Colin and giggling they exited the room.

Harry looked at them leave with an amused expression on his face and Ginny rolled her eyes.

"About earlier today at breakfast," Harry began.

"Oh, don’t worry about it," Ginny said quickly. "Ron was right, I shouldn’t have asked you."

"Well, actually," said Harry. "I came to tell you that I would like to go to the Yule Ball with you."

Ginny blinked. "You do?"

"Harry smiled shyly. "Yeah." He looked uncomfortable for a second and then said, "Well, I gotta go. I have Potions now. I’ll see you later, okay?"

Ginny nodded. "Okay. See you."

After Harry exited, Ginny let out a loud squeal.

* * * * *

Next weekend was a planned trip to Hogsmeade. Harry walked between Ron and Hermione on their journey there.

"I still can’t believe you’re going to the dance with Ginny," Ron mumbled to Harry.

"Oh, Ron!" said Hermione. "Is it really that big of a deal? At least she’s not going with Malfoy."

"I guess," Ron grumbled.

"And Harry is our friend! Do you really think he would do anything to hurt your sister?"

Harry hated it when people talked about him like he wasn’t there, but at least nothing negative was being said about him.

"Yeah, you’re right, Herm," said Ron. "I’m sorry. I guess I was being a jerk to Ginny."

Hermione nodded. "And I think you owe her an apology the next time you see her."

They entered the Three Broomsticks for mugs of butterbeer and speak of the devil! There was Ginny sitting at a table with Gillian, Colin, Justin, and Jane, a girl who was their age who was in Ravenclaw.

Hermione nudged Ron and he walked over to them while she and Harry got a booth of their own.

As Ron walked closer to his sister’s table, he could hear snippets of their conversation. Gillian was talking about a demon baby. What the hell? he thought. Colin started to talk about how hot some guy named Luis was. Ron shook his head. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know what they were talking about.

Suddenly Gillian looked up. "Oh, look who it is, Ginny," she said sarcastically. "Your brother who doesn’t think you’re good enough for anybody."

Ron sighed. "Obviously Ginny hadn’t wasted any time telling all her friends about the little incident.

Ginny glared at her brother as he came up to their table. "What do you want, Ron?"

"Are you here to tell Ginny that she can’t go to the Yule Ball at all now?" questioned Gillian.

Ron glared at her. "Stay out of this, Yankee."

"Ooh, you called me a Yankee. Ooh! I’m so scared."

"What do you want, Ron?" Ginny snapped.

"First of all, I want to tell you you need to get new friends." He glared at Gillian who glared back. "And second of all, I came to tell you that I want to apologize for being a great big prat. And you have my blessing to go to the Yule Ball with Harry."

"That’s very noble of you, Ron."

"So do you forgive me?"

"Well, I’m still a little bit mad at you, but since you ARE my favorite brother, I’ll find it somehow in my heart to forgive you."

Ron gave her a hug. "I knew you’d find it in my heart to forgive me, Ginny."

"Yeah, yeah. You know, if you REALLY want to show how sorry you are, you can buy me a bag of Licorice Wands."

"Sure thing." Ron went back to join Harry and Hermione and told them everything was now okay.

Before they left to go to Honeydukes, Hermione went over to Ginny’s table.

"Ron apologized to you, right?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, just making sure. Hey, listen, since we’re both going to the dance, we should go shopping for new dresses."

"Oh, can I with you too?" Gillian put in. "I’m going to the dance with Draco Malfoy."

Ginny snorted. "You never told me that."

"I just asked him earlier today."

"Well, I gotta go now," Hermione said looking up to see Harry and Ron were getting impatient at the front door, "but let’s go shopping sometime next week, okay?"

"Sure thing."

* * * * *

It was another day for the students in their Intimate Relationship class.

"Okay class," said Professor Crunk. "We’re gonna do some more role playing."

Everyone groaned, but he ignored them as he switched to Monsieur Chapeau mode. "Hermione, Draco, please come up front."

Cautiously, the two rivals approached each other.

"Now you two are going to be at a party. Draco, you’ll be hitting on Hermione, trying to make her sleep with you. Hermione, you’ll be rejecting him."

"Gladly," Hermione muttered and Draco exclaimed, "I’m not hitting on a Mudblood!"

"And begin.

Draco turned to Hermione, his eyes rolled up to the top of his head. "Hey, baby, wanna get your groove on with me?" His voice was thick with sarcasm.

"I don’t think so," Hermione said coolly.

"Come on baby, let’s get it on. Yeah, baby, you know you want me, uh huh, uh huh." Draco’s voice was mundane.

"Listen buddy," Hermione seethed. "I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly."

Draco looked confused. "Huh?"

Hermione broke out of character and looked at her teacher. "Professor Crunk, do you think we could stop with the role playing all the time? It’s getting kind of old, no offense."

Professor Crunk frowned. "Did you hear that, Monsieur Chapeau? Hermione doesn’t like our role playing!" (Squeaky voice): Oh, Professor Crunk, I’m so hurt! Hermione hurt my feelings."

Hermione groaned. Oh great, she had made a puppet cry.

"Okay, that’s enough. Sit down and we’ll start on our next chapter about self gratification."

* * * * *

Ginny and Gillian were in their room watching Gillian’s TV. Gillian had turned it on with a wand.

"You usually use a thing called a remote to turn these things on," Gillian told her friend.

"They’re rectangular shape things with buttons on them."

"Oh, those sound familiar," said Ginny. "I think my dad has one of those. Of course he doesn’t know what it is. I’ll have to tell him."

Gillian used her want to turn the channels and turn up the volume. "Yes! Passions is on!"

They began watching the cheesy soap opera with Gillian telling Ginny who all the characters were and what was going on. After about half an hour there was a knock on the door and they heard Hermione’s voice.

"Don’t come in here!" Gillian said quickly, but it was too late. Hermione had already opened the door.

She looked shocked when she saw the television. "What’s a telly doing here?"

"Don’t worry, Hermione," Ginny said. "It’s charmed by magic."

"Oh my God! Is that Passions?"

"Yeah," said Gillian. She giggled. "You’re a fan of that show, Hermione?"

"Am I? Am I? You bet I am! You guys have to let me watch this with you."

"Sure thing, Hermione," said Ginny. "So what did you come to tell us?"

"You know how we planned to go shopping for our Yule Ball dresses?"

Ginny nodded. "We’re still going, right?"

"Oh yes….but Britney overheard that we were going and she wants to go to."

Ginny rolled her eyes. "I suppose she’s going to the dance with Mervin Crunk."

"Oh yes, of course. Everybody’s favorite loser. I couldn’t say no to her, so I hope it’s okay if she’s coming."

Ginny shrugged. "Sure."

At that moment Britney came into the room. (A/N: Wow, she has good timing, doesn’t she?)

"He’yall," she said. "Hermione, thanks fo’ inviting me t’go shoppin’ wif yo."

"Don’t mention it."

"Ah’s so happy t’be a-gonna to th’ dance wif Mervin Crunk thet ah’s a-gonna buy all yo’ gals noo dresses fo’ th’ occashun. Whut in tarntion does ah care? Ah have millions of dollars."

The three witches stared at each other, then stared at Britney.

"You mean you’re going to pay for our dresses?" Gillian asked.

"Sho’nuff. Whuffo’ eff’n it wasn’t fo’ yo’ gals, ah w’d haf nevah met Mervin Crunk, th’ man of mah dreams."

"What about Jus-" Hermione began, but Gillian had jabbed her in the ribs. She smiled

sweetly at Britney. "Britney, we would be more than honored to have you pay for our Yule Ball dresses."

Hermione’s face fell. "Wait a minute. We can’t use Muggle money in Hogsmeades."

"Muggle?" said Britney.

"Uh, I meant American."

Ginny and Gillian groaned too. In the excitement, they had forgotten about this little obstacle.

"Cain’t we jest exchange it at a bank fo’ English money?"

"Oh, I don’t want to go to Hogsmeade!" Gillian whined. "They don’t have anything good. I want to go to London! Where they have real clothes. Really good clothes!"

"But you know we aren’t allowed to go to the city!" said Ginny. "At least not with a seventh year accompanying us." (A/N: I’m just making this shit up, seems like a good rule, don’t you think?)

"You’re right," said Hermione. "That’s the rule. Hold on. I’ll be right back!"

Britney turned to the TV. "Oh, Passions! Ah jest love thet show!"

"Luis is HOT!" said Gillian.

They watched the show for ten minutes before Hermione came running back. "Okay," she said. "I just talked to Angelina Johnson and she said she would go to London with us as long as Alicia and Katie could come too and Britney brought them new dresses as well. I told her that could be done. So, you don’t mind that, do you Britney?"

"Sho’nuff. Ah haf way too much money than ah knows whut t’do wif."

Professor McGonagall approved for the seven girls to go to London even though she wasn’t crazy about the idea.

"You girls be careful," she told them the day before they were going to leave. "And when you’re done shopping for your dresses, you come right back here, you hear?"

Angelina nodded. "Yes, ma’am."

On Saturday morning, the night of the dance, they took the Hogswarts Express to London. Of course, they were all wearing Muggle clothing. Britney was wearing a black wig and green contacts to disguise herself. They slept on the train since they had to get up so early.

"I am NOT going to do that!" Ginny hissed, embarrassed.

"Oh, c’mon, Gin, just try it," pleaded Gillian.

"Fine." She got up and soon she, Colin, and Gillian were all practicing the bend and snap.

They heard the entrance open and Harry came in singing a tune under his breath. He stopped when he saw the three fourth years.

"Uh, am I interrupting something?"

Ginny started to blush profusely.

"Oh no," Gillian said casually. "We were just doing some exercises." She frowned. "Why were you singing the theme song to Diff’rent Strokes?"

Now Harry was blushing. "I wasn’t singing the theme song to Diff’rent Strokes!"

"Yes you were! I could recognize that song anywhere. Whatchu talkin’ bout, Potter?"

Harry sighed. "It’s a long story. Anyway, I was wondering if I could talk to you, Ginny."

"Me?" squeaked Ginny.

"Ah, we’re here," Angelina said once the train had stopped.

"Where to first, ladies?" Katie asked once they were all outside in the crisp London air.

"I’m STARVING," said Gillian. "Let’s grab some chow."

"Good idea," said Hermione. "I don’t think any of us had breakfast."

The other girls nodded.

"I know I didn’t since I had to wake up so damn early," Alicia muttered. She grinned. "Not that I mind, though."

"Oh, look!" cried Gillian. "There’s McDonalds. Let’s go there!"

Angelina let out a laugh. "We’re in one of the most glamour cities in the world and you want to go to McDonalds of all places to eat?"

"Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve had a Big Mac?" questioned Gillian. "Or how long it’s been since I’ve had hot steamy french fry. Mmmmm….hot steamy Mickey D french fries."

"Why don’t we just go to McDonalds," said Hermione. "It’s right by us, plus it would be a wonderful experience for our two purebred witches here." She smiled at Ginny and Alicia.

They all walked to the fast food restaurant with the golden arches and ordered something off the breakfast menu except for Gillian who had ordered a Big Mac. Ginny and Alicia had ordered fries with their meal since the other girls were raving about them.

"Mmm," Britney said taking a big bite of her Egg McMuffin. "Y’all sh’d put a McDonald’s in yer magic skoo."

"I never thought I’d say this," said Gillian, "but that’s not a bad idea, Britney."

After they were finished with their breakfast, they started their trek to find the perfect Yule Ball dress.

"So let me get this straight," Katie said to Britney. "You’re going to actually pay for all of our dresses."

Britney nodded. "Yo’ bet. Whoff’, ah have mo’e money than ah knows how t’add on mah Play School® caculato!"

"What about accessories like shoes and jelwery?" asked Angelina.

"Ah love shoes!" exclaimed Britney. "Of course I’ll buy y’all shoes!"

They went to Gucci, Armani, Calvin Klein, Valentino, Dolce and Gabbana, Versace…every posh store they could find. Unfortunately in one of the stores (which should remain nameless) the saleswomen had been very snotty to the girls since they were dressed in jeans and sweaters and had made them leave. Angelina, after buying her black jersey dress at Armani, had returned to the store to one up them.

"Guess you should have treated us more respectfully," she said showing the snooty saleswoman her Armani bag.

"That was great!" Gillian cried after Angelina had walked out of the store. "Great Pretty Woman moment there."

"Oh, ah love Purdy Woomin!" exclaimed Britney. "Fry mah hide! Thet’s mah favo’ite movie in th’e whole wide wo’ld!"

"Yes, a movie about a whore," said Hermione. "Why doesn’t that surprise me in the least?"

Soon everybody had found their perfect Yule Ball dress – everybody that is except for Hermione and Ginny. They were still looking. Angelina and Katie had found their dresses quite quickly with Ginny helping them by telling them what her twin brothers liked (lots of skin that showed!) and didn’t like (anything that was too covered up).

Hermione finally found the dress of her dreams at Valentino. It was a cherry red V-neck matte stretch jersey dress. A rhinestone brooch was pinned between the breasts. It looked very elegant on her and clung to her in all the right places.

"Oh, Hermione, that’s gorgeous!" Katie exclaimed when Hermione came out of the dressing room to model it.

"Most definitely," agreed Ginny who grinned. "Ron’s gonna turn into a bumbling idiot when he sees you in this. Not that he already isn’t!"

Hermione blushed. "I feel so glamorous in this dress!" She frowned. "I just wish there was something I could do about my hair," she said as she touched her bushy brown hair.

"Oh, we should visit a hair salon after Ginny gets her dress!" said Gillian.

It didn’t take Ginny much time before she found the dress she was looking for.

"This is it!" she exclaimed when they were in Bagley Mischa. She was holding up a black dress with a sheer tulle top layer highlighted with black sequins. The dress snugly fit her, showing off her curves. The look was flattering across her bust with the halter-style, u-shaped neckline that had slight gathering.

"Oh, I love that dress," Katie said.

"Very nice," said Gillian after Ginny had modeled it for them and paid for it. "Okay, let’s go find a hair salon!"

"But we have to go back," said Hermione. "Professor McGonagall said once we had all our dresses, we had to go back to Hogswarts."

"But she doesn’t know that we’ve found all the dresses yet," said Angelina. "Come on, let’s go to a salon. We already found our perfect dresses! Why not get our hair dolled up as well? You’ll pay for our hair too, right Britney?"

"Sho!"

"Well, how could I refuse a free hair style?" sighed Hermione. "Okay, let’s go."

They found the most expensive salon (where stars like Jude Law and Kate Winslet went to) and not only got their hair trim and washed, but also their nails polished andd had their faces exfoliated.

Hermione’s had had been turned down to sleek chestnut waves and she was pleased with the results.

"Ah, I feel like a new woman," Alicia said as the exited the salon.

"That place was so cool!" exclaimed Ginny. "They need one of those in the wizarding world."

"I’m hungry," Gillian announced again. "It’s been five hours since we last ate."

"Yeah, I’m hungry too," said Alicia.

They found a restaurant and sat at a big round table and ordered a platter of nachos.

"This is so fun," said Ginny. "I wish we could do this every week!"

"Totally," agreed Gillian. "This reminds me of those girls only outings I had with my friends in New York. Ah, those were the days."

"What’s it like?" asked Angelina. "What’s New York like?"

"Oh, it’s the most wonderful place in the world!" gushed Gillian.

"Mervin says he hates Americah because he reckons it’s an egotistical place," said Britney. "But he likes Americahn gals because he says they’re easy."

Gillian rolled her eyes.

"I still can’t believe you’re going to the dance with Malfoy!" Ginny laughed.

"You went to the Halloween Dance with him!"

"Yes, but I was young and stupid back then."

"That was two months ago!"

Angelina started to laugh. "Did you guys hear about Mervin?"

"Mah Mervin!" Britney exclaimed. "Whut about mah Mervin?"

"Rumor has it that he was talking a bath in the Slytherin bathtub and got stuck in the tub!"

The other girls roared with laughter and Hermione let out a snort.

"Now why doesn’t that surprise me at all? Mervin must weigh what? At least 600 pounds?"

"At least," said Katie.

"Hermione, remember when he saw Mervin try out for the Slytherin Quidditch team and he broke the broom in half when he sat on it?" Ginny burst out laughing.

"Oh my God, I thought I would die laughing when I saw that."

"Mervin’s so fat that he needs two beds to sleep in!" said Gillian.

"The sad thing is, I think that’s true!" laughed Alicia.

"Maybe we should head back now," Hermione said looking at her watch after they had left the restaurant. "It’s almost four and the dance starts at eight."

"Yeah, good idea." Angelina said. "We’ll need time to get ready."

When they returned McGongall was a little upset with them since they had gotten back a lot later than she excepted but she was glad to know they were safe and had a good time.

Britney had run off to find Mervin because she couldn’t spend another minute without him and the rest of the girls went up to the seventh girl’s dorm to get ready.

"Where are you going?" Ron asked as they went up the stairs. He had been in the Common Room with the twins, Harry, and Lee.

"Upstairs to get ready for the Yule Ball of course!" said Ginny.

"But there’s still two hours before it begins!"

"Only two hours!" yelped Angelina. "Come on, girls, we better get a move on!"

Ron looked at the other guys and rolled his eyes. "Girls."