I’m Not a Muggle Not Yet a Wizard

I’d also like to thank everyone at the HJO boards who volunteered to be characters in my story!

I’m Not a Muggle Not Yet a Wizard

By Mariposa

Chapter 5

Fred and George came bounding into the Gryffindor common room where Ron and Ginny were sitting at a table playing Chess.

"Hello little brother, hello little sister!" said Fred. "Have you two given any thought as to what your costume will be for the Halloween dance?"

They shook their heads.

"Not yet," said Ron.

"Still thinking," said Ginny. "What about you guys?"

George grinned, "We already have ours planned out."

"Yeah, and it’s gonna be great, we’ll be bound to win the best costume award," said Fred.

"What are you going as?" asked Ron.

"We’re not telling anyone," said George. "It’s a surprise."

"You don’t even know what your costume is going to be!" said Ron.

"Yes we do!" said Fred. "We just want to keep it a secret."

"Okay, so you don’t know what your costume is going to be," said George, "but do you know who you’ll be going to the dance with?"

"Who says we have to go with a date?" Ron questioned.

"Well, you don’t," said Fred. "But it would be awfully embarrassing if a Weasley went to the dance alone. We gotta show the world we’re a suave, sexy family."

"I assume you two have dates already?" said Ginny.

"You know it," said Fred. "I’m going with Angelina, of course, and George is going with Alicia Spinnet."

Ron rolled his eyes. "Honestly, Fred, why don’t you and Angelina become a couple already?"

Ginny grinned. "I know who would like to go with Ron!"

"Who?" Ron’s face turned red.

"Hermione! She told me she fancies you."

"Oohhhhhhhhhhh!" the twins taunted.

"Ronnie! This is great!" cried Fred. "You fancy Hermione too! Ask her to the dance!"

"Wait a minute. How do you know Hermione likes me?" Ron asked his sister.

"She told me during gym class. She was making googly eyes at you when you were doing sit-ups." Ginny giggled.

"Then it’s settled!" Fred cried as he slapped Ron on the back. "Ronnie will ask Hermione to the dance. Now we need to find a suave guy for Ginny."

"Wait a minute!" cried Ron. "I just can’t ask her to the dance. What if she says no?"

Ginny rolled her eyes. "Don’t be such a git, Ron! She won’t say no. She likes you! What part of that don’t you understand?"

"You can do it, Ronnie!" said Fred. "We have faith in you."

"Okay, I’ll do it," said Ron. But he looked as though he were going to be sick.

"Ginny, why don’t you ask Harry, your luv-ah?" suggested Fred.

"No!" said Ginny.

"Ah, c’mon, Gin. You know he likes you," said George. "Remember when he was staring at you at dinner when he was over for the summer?"

"Harry was staring at you!?" Ron cried with rage. "Why, I’ll kick his ass!"

"Go ahead, be my guest," Ginny said leaning back in her chair and crossing her arms.

"Now Gin, don’t tell us you’re still mad at Harry!" exclaimed George.

"Hmph."

"Well, if you’re not going to go to the dance with Harry, then who will you go with?" asked Fred.

Ginny paused a moment then said, "I was thinking of maybe asking Draco Malfoy."

Her brothers gasped in horror.

"You will not!" cried George.

"Over my dead body!" exclaimed Ron.

"How dare you even think of such a vile idea!" roared Fred.

Ginny scowled at her brothers. "Excuse me, but the last time I checked, it was my life!"

"You can’t ask that filthy, slimy, good-for-nothing, imbecile Slytherin to the dance!" Ron cried furiously. "I’ve seen the way he looks at you and he only has one thing on his mind."

"You only have one thing on your mind when you look at Hermione," Ginny replied.

"That’s not-" Ron sputtered. "I don’t-. We’re not talking about me!"

"What’s the big deal anyway?" Ginny questioned. "We’re going to be in a public place with lots of people around"

"Yes, but what if he takes you somewhere private and asks you if you want to…" Ron hesitated. "Asks you if you want some pumpkin pasties?"

"Well, what if I want some pumpkin pasties?" Ginny asked indignantly.

"Ginny! You are only fourteen years old!" cried Ron. "You are not ready for pumpkin pasties!"

"I’ll be fifteen in another few months, and it’s my life. I can very damn well please have pumpkin pasties whenever I want!"

"Uh, why do I have a feeling you guys really aren’t talking about pumpkin pasties?" said Fred.

"Ginny, please tell me you’ve never had pumpkin pasties before!" pleaded Ron.

"Of course not!" snapped Ginny. "But when I’m ready for sex it will be my decision, not yours!"

"Ginny!" Ron cried out angrily. "It’s pumpkin pasties!"

"Oh, so that’s what you two were talking about," Fred said with a knowing smile. He frowned. "Ginny!"

"Don’t worry, I won’t do anything stupid."

"It’s not you we don’t trust," said Ron. "It’s Malfoy." He said his name as though he had just swallowed a large glass of bile.

"Well I am going to ask Draco to the dance and there’s nothing you can do to stop me!"

* * * * *

Harry and Hermione were eating lunch when Mervin Crunk interrupted them.

"My mind is tired because you’ve been running through it all day!" he said as he sat down next to Hermione and she buried her face in her hands.

"What do you want, Mervin?"

"Well, I was just wondering if you had a date for the Halloween Dance yet?"

Harry started to laugh and Hermione jabbed a sharp elbow into his ribs.

She turned to Mervin and smiled sweetly. "Listen Mervin, I wouldn’t go to the dance with you if you were the last guy on earth. In fact, if we were the last two people on earth and you had the last scrap of food, I’d rather die than take it from you."

Mervin looked confused. "So…do you have a date for the dance or not?"

Hermione rolled her eyes. "No, I don’t have a date. And no, I do not want to go with you!"

Why not?" asked Mervin. "I'm a cool guy. I'm good looking. I've been told I look like Brad Pitt, you know."

Hermione started to laugh. "I hate to burst your bubble, Mervin. But you do NOT look like Brad Pitt!"

"Sure, I may not look like him now, but once you rip off all my clothes, I get the same body as him!"

"Eww!" Hermione shrieked. "Please, don't make me sick while I'm eating! I don't want to think of you without clothes on!" She shuddered.

"Well, baby, if you change your mind, you know where to find me." He gave her a wink and walked off.

"Ugh. Why does that pervy creep always have to hit on me?"

"He hits on all the girls," said Harry.

"Maybe so, but he hits on me the most!"

"It’s because he likes you the most. You should feel honored!"

"Please. I feel far from honored."

"So if you’re not going to the dance with Mervin, who do you plan on going with?"

"Well," Hermione lowered her voice and leaned closer to Harry. "There is somebody I have my eye on. I’m kind of hoping he asks me."

"You mean Ron?"

"How did you know? Did one of his siblings tell you?"

Harry laughed and shook his head. "No, nobody told me. It’s just something I knew all along."

"Oh." Hermione blushed. "That obvious, huh?"

Harry nodded. "Why don’t you ask Ron? I’m sure he would love to go to the dance with you."

"Well if you’re so sure he would love to go with me, then won’t he just ask me?"

"You know how Ron is around asking girls out. He gets shy."

"But it’s just me!" said Hermione in an exasperated voice.

Harry smiled at her. "Then you shouldn’t have a problem asking him."

* * * * *

"Hey, Hermione, wait up," Ron said the next day after their Charms class was let out.

Hermione stopped and turned around. "Oh, hi, Ron." She smiled at him.

I never knew she had such a beautiful smile, Ron thought.

"Listen, I need to ask you something."

"Oh, there’s something I need to ask you too, Ron."

They walked over to a less crowded corridor. Hermione noticed that Ron looked especially nervous.

"So, what’s up?" she asked.

Ron started to turn red and seemed to have trouble breathing.

"Ron, are you okay?"

Ron suddenly blurted out his question in one breath. "HermionewillyougototheHalloweendancewithme?"

"What?"

Ron took another deep breath and spoke slowly this time. "Hermione, will you go to the Halloween dance with me?"

A look of surprise swept over Hermione’s face and she started laughing. Ron looked hurt.

"Oh, no, Ron! It’s not that!" Hermione quickly said. "It’s just that I was going to ask you that exact same question!"

Ron looked astonished. "You were?"

Hermione smiled shyly. "Well…yeah."

Ron heaved a great sigh of relief. "Wow, I feel so much better."

"Do you know what your costume is going to be?"

Ron shook his head. "No idea."

"I think I may have a great idea for you. C’mon, let’s go discuss what our costumes can be."

* * * * *

Ginny saw Draco in the library and was debating whether or not she should ask him to the dance. On the one hand, he had been showing some interest in her lately, but on the other hand, she was a Weasley and everyone knew how much Draco Malfoy despised Weasleys. Before she could think of anything else, she walked up to him.

"Uh, Draco," she said in a small voice.

The tall blond Slytherin turned around and smirked at her. "Yes?"

"Uh…" This was such a stupid idea. What was I thinking? "Listen, never mind. It was nothing."

Draco looked confused. "No, what? What is it?"

"Forget it. Just forget it."

Draco looked irritated. "Would you just tell me what you were going to say?"

Ginny sighed. "Okay, fine. But please don’t mock me. I was going to ask you if you wanted to go to the Halloween dance with me."

She held her head down in shame, expecting Draco to start laughing at her.

"It looks like this is your lucky day," Draco sniffed in his egotistical voice. "I haven’t asked anyone to the dance yet and you’re the first girl to ask me, believe it or not. And I would love to go with you as long as you wear a very nice costume." He winked at her and walked

off.

* * * * *

"Voldie, why don’t you come to bed?" a sly, sexy voice whispered.

Voldemort whirled around and sighed heavily at the sight he saw. His lover, Michael Bay, was lying on the red silk sheets of their bed wearing nothing but a pair of heart print boxer shorts. He patted the bed seductively. "Come on, Voldie. Get your white ass into bed and let’s get it on!"

Voldemort sighed heavily again. "Is sex the only thing you think about, Michael?"

"What’s with you, Voldie? We haven’t done the nasty in a few days!"

"Michael, sometimes I think you’re thinking about someone else when we’re making love."

"Voldie, your ass is as whiter than a blizzard and you barely have a face. Who else am I gonna think you are? Michael Jackson? Although you two do seem to look like twins…"

"I just wish our relationship could be based more than just sex, Michael."

Michael looked confused. "What do you mean? I thought you liked it when I hump you."

"I do, Michael! I like it very much!" Voldemort’s cheeks turned red. "It’s just that, I want to show my love in more than one way for you. In fact, I wrote a song for you."

"You wrote a song for me?" Michael looked genuinely touched.

"Yes, would you like to hear it?"

"Well, of course!"

"Okay, here goes." Voldemort cleared his throat and started to sing:

"Never knew I could feel like this. Like I never seen the sky before. Want to vanish inside your kiss. Everyday I love you more and more. Listen to my heart, can you hear it sing? Telling me to give you everything. Seasons may change, winter to spring, but I love you until the end of time." Voldemort began to twirl as he broke out into the chorus:

"Come what may! Come what may! I will love you until my dying day."

"Oh, Voldie!" Michael gasped as he sat up in bed. "That was beautiful!" He raised his arms and started to sing himself. "Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place. Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace."

They both ran to embrace each other and sang: "Suddenly my life doesn’t seem such a waste."

"It all revolves around you!" Michael sang in his beautiful voice.

They were both now holding hands, twirling around as they sang: "And there’s no mountain to high! No river too wide! Sing out this song and I’ll be there by your side! Storm clouds may gather and stars may collide."

"But I love you," whispered Voldemort.

"I love you," Michael whispered back.

Voldemort produced a cluster of dead flowers and presented them to his lover. "Until the end."

Michael accepted the flowers and brought them to his face, sniffing the aroma. "Until the end of time."

They sang the chorus again as they held hands, whirling around in gay merriment.

I will love you," sang Michael. "Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place."

Suddenly a choir of red-eyed demon children came out and started to harmonize with the two lovers. "COME WHAT MAYYYYYYY. (AHHHHH-AHHHHHH) COME WHAT MAYYYYY. (AHHHHH-HHHHHHH). I WILL LOVE YOU UNTIL MY DYYYYYYYYYYYINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGG DAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

* * * * *

Before the night of the dance, the fourth year Gryffindor girls had come over to the fifth year girl’s dorm room so they could all get ready together. It looked like a tornado had swept through the room in a hurry. Clothes, make up, hair accessories, brushes, combs, curling wands, mirrors and other materials were strewn all over the room.

"Oh, yo’ guys, ah’s so excited!" Britney drawled in her accent. "Ah jest love parties, esp’lly ones what yo’ git t’wear costooms!"

"Yeah, I bet so you can look like a slut," muttered Hermione.

"Um, what is your costume, Britney?" Lavender Brown asked her.

"Ah ain’t decided yit! Kin yo’ gals hep me?"

A sinister smile lurked across Gillian’s face. "Why, of course we’ll help you, Britney! In fact! I have the perfect costume for you!"

Britney clapped her hands in delight. "Yo’ do?"

"You can go as the beautiful Princess Medusa!"

"Medusa isn’t a-" Kjirsten started to say but Gillian interrupted her. "I can charm your hair to look like hers."

Britney clapped her hands again. "Okay!"

"Uh oh, this won’t be good," Hermione whispered to Ginny as the girls watched Gillian raise her wand and waved it over Britney’s head, muttering a few words. Almost instantly, Britney’s hair seemed to transfer into small green and brown snakes.

Britney screamed. "Mah hyar! Whut in tarnation did yo’ does to mah hyar? Ah have snakes in mah hyar!"

The other girls were stifling giggles as Britney continued to scream.

"Oh, didn’t I tell you?" Gillian said innocently. "Medusa has snakes for hair."

"Turn it back! Turn it back!" she screamed.

"Okay, fine. You’re no fun." She waved her wand over Britney’s head once more and the snakes became her nappy fake blonde hair once again.

"Ah’s hankerin’ t’wears an erotic costoom," said Britney. "Ah’s a-gonna th’ dance wif Mervin Crunk an’ ah’s hankerin’ t’look mah bess fo’ him, dawgone it!" She sighed deeply. "He’s so sexy!"

The other girls looked at each other and shrieked. "Eww!"

In the end, Britney decided to dress up as her idol, Pamela Anderson from Baywatch. She wore a red swimsuit and carried a life floaty device. Gillian actually had to charm her boobs to be even bigger.

"I still can’t believe you asked Draco Malfoy to the dance," Hermione said to Ginny as they changed into their costumes.

Ginny shrugged. "Well, he’s a good dancer and if his costume consists of leather pants, then we all know he’ll look good." She giggled.

"I hope he wear leather pants!" Gillian giggled as well.

"Yes, but he’s Malfoy!" said Hermione. "He’s so mean to your brother and Harry."

Ginny shrugged. "That’s Malfoy for you."

"Hey, Hermione, what are you suppose to be?" Parvati Patil asked.

Hermione was wearing vinyl red pants and an off-the-shoulder black shirt. She had feathered her brown hair.

"I’m one of Charlie’s Angels!" Hermione replied.

"Which one?" asked Gillian.

"Um…the one that Cameron Diaz will play in the 2000 movie."

"Ohhhh." They all nodded knowingly.

"Well, if Draco tried anything naughty with you, Ginny, Hermione can kick his ass!" Gillian laughed.

"Looks like you could kick his ass too, Gillian," said Collette. "Who are you suppose to be?"

Gillian was wearing black leather pants, a black tanktop, and dark sunglasses. Her dark hair was braided in a long braid.

"I’m Lara Croft, tomb raider," she said in her best British accent, which was pretty pathetic.

"And who are you suppose to be Ginny?" asked Mischa.

Ginny was wearing a black leather suit with a facemask that had two pointy ears on top. A black tail was attached to her costume.

"Why, I’m Catwoman, of course!"

"We all look great!" said Hermione. "In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if one of us was the winner of the best costume award."

* * * * *

Meanwhile, while the girls were getting ready, Harry and Ron were putting on their costumes. Well, actually just Ron was.

"Harry, aren’t you going to put on your costume?"

"This is my costume, Ron!"

Ron looked at him. "But you’re just wearing your regular clothes!"

"I know. I’m going as myself."

"Oh, Harry." Ron shook his head in disgust. "I would except something like this from Malfoy, but not you!"

"Well, I didn’t know what else to dress up as. And I am famous and I wouldn’t be surprised if they made a movie about me in another few years! Besides, who better to go as Harry Potter…than me?"

Ron rolled his eyes.

"Well, who are you suppose to be?"

Ron grinned. He was wearing dark khaki pants, a white t-shirt, a leather jacket, a hat and carried a whip. "I’m Indiana Jones! Hermione helped me think of it! Check this out." He cleared his throat and said in his best American-archeologist-hero voice, "Spiders! I HATE spiders!"

"You sure are in a good mood."

"Well, why wouldn’t I be? I’m going to the dance with Hermione! Say, did you get a date yet?"

"Yep, I asked Lily Smileyous, you know that sixth year Gryffindor."

"Well, I hope she can guess who you are," Ron said laughing.

"Ha, ha, ha," Harry said sarcastically.

"Well, let’s head down," said Ron. "I’m sure our dates are waiting for us."

* * * * *

"Hey, baby, you’re looking mighty FYNE tonight."

Hermione, who was getting herself a glass of punch, rolled her eyes. She didn’t even have to turn around. She knew who it was. "Get lost, Mervin."

"I wanted to ask if you would like to bump and grind with me."

Hermione turned around and started to laugh at what she saw. Mervin was wearing VERY tight jeans...so tight, his fat was bulging out. He also was wearing a cowboy hat and a white tank top. Of course it was too small and his gut was sticking out.

"Mervin, who or WHAT are you suppose to be?"

"Can’t you tell, baby?"

"No."

"I’m Brad Pitt, of course! From Thelma and Louise! I could practically be his twin!"

Hermione was still laughing. "Yeah, right. In you dreams!"

"Oh mah God! Mervin! Yo’ look so sexy!" Britney came rushing over to him. "Yo’ look jest like Brad Pitt!"

"Well, if you want to dance with me, you know where to find me." Mervin gave Hermione a wink and walked away with Britney, his hand on her butt.

"Ugh, gag me with a spoon," Hermione muttered. Mervin was such a LOSER!

"Hey, Hermione."

This time it was Harry. He was with his date, Lily who was wearing a very elaborate festive costume.

"Hi, Harry, hi Lily," said Hermione. "I like your costume, Lilly."

"Thanks. Likewise."

Hermione frowned at Harry. "Who are you suppose to be?"

"Can’t you tell?"

"No. You just look like…yourself."

"That’s who I am!"

"You went as yourself?" Hermione shook her head. "Oh, Harry. That’s just so…sad."

"What? What’s wrong with that." He looked out at the dance floor where people were starting to dance. "Hey, look at Skyler Windsor," he said pointing to a Gryffindor girl. "She’s wearing a Harry Potter costume!"

Hermione rolled her eyes. "That’s different! She isn’t you! Hey, where’s Ron?"

"Oh, he’ll be down in a minute," Harry answered. "He’s adjusting some last minute things on his costume." He grinned at her. "He’s really nervous about this date."

Hermione blushed. "Oh, here he comes. Oh! He looks so cute in his costume!" She sighed contentedly.

Ron came into the Great Hall, his heart pounding. He was on his first date with Hermione, the Woman of his Dreams! The Great Hall was decorated for Halloween. Black and Orange streamers hung from the rafters and jack-o-latterns of all sizes were floating in the air, each with different facial carvings. Students and teachers were either dancing or eating to talking or laughing. There were lots of great costumes. He saw Connie a girl from Slytherin dressed up as Professor Snape, a Korean girl from Gryffindor named Emma who was good friend with Hermione had on a gypsy costume, another girl he knew from Gryffindor named Abbie was wearing an angel costume. Then that’s when he saw her.

Hermione.

She was walking towards him as if in slow motion. At that moment it seemed as the lights had dimmed and only a purple spotlight was on Hermione as she slowly and seductively walked up to Ron. Her hair was flying behind her. His heart began to beat even faster and his mouth went dry. She suddenly stopped in front of him and flashed him her most brilliant smile.

"Hello, Ron," she said in a seductive voice.

Ron’s jaw was dropped open so wide, he was sure his tongue would roll out.

"Heaven must be missing an angel, missing one angel, child, cuz you’re here with me right now."

Hermione smiled at him and held out her hand. "I’ve been excepting you. Let’s dance!"

Ron was led by Hermione out onto the dance floor and music began to blare. It was as if they were the only ones dancing.

Your kiss Filled with tenderness.

I want all I can get of your sexiness.

Showers! Your love comes in showers.

And every hour of the hour, you let me feel your loving power.

Ron and Hermione had one hand on their hips and were waving their other hands in the air as they boogied on the dance floor. At the very end of the song, Ron dipped Hermione back. Everyone applauded. Ron blushed. He didn’t realize they had an audience!

* * * * *

Angelina and Alicia laughed when they saw Fred and George.

They were wearing blonde wigs and looked as though they had borrowed clothes from Britney Spears.

"And who are you two to be?" asked Angelina who was dressed as one of the Josie and the Pussycat members. Alicia was dressed as a Snow White.

George grinned at them. "Can’t you tell?"

"Well, it looks to us like you’re two guys dressed in drag," said Alicia.

"We’re Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen!" said Fred with glee.

The two girls looked at each other. "Who?"

George shrugged. "They’re famous Muggle twins. We saw a picture of them in TEEN WIZARDS."

Angelina started laughing. "No offense, but you two make REALLY ugly girls!"

* * * * *

"Me-ow!"

Ginny turned around to see Draco smirking at her. She had no idea what he was supposed to be, but he was wearing leather pants, so it was all good. Draco was also looking at Ginny’s costume approvingly.

"Virginia Weasley, what ARE you wearing?"

Ginny sighed in exasperation as she saw Ron coming their way.

Hermione was behind him and she gave Ginny a sympathetic smile.

Ginny put her hands on her hips. "Sod off Ron!"

"Ginny, just what the hell do you think you’re wearing."

"What are you talking about? It’s not like I’m showing any skin!"

"Maybe not, but that leather suit you have on is awfully tight!"

"So? Hermione has on tight pants and shirt and she’s showing lots more skin than I am!"

"That’s different!" Ron said. "She’s not my sister!"

Ginny rolled her eyes.

"Who are you suppose to be anyway?"

"I’m Catwoman!"

"Yes she is indeed," said Draco. "Meow!"

"You shut up, you slimy little prat!" Ron was yelling in his face.

"Ron…" Hermione put her hand on Ron’s shoulder. "Ron, let them be."

"I’ll be watching you!" Ron hissed to Draco, then was led off by Hermione who was shaking her head.

"Er, sorry about my brother," said Ginny.

"Don’t worry, I’m used to it," Draco replied. "Now what do you say we go dance?"

Harry was dancing with his date who was a lovely girl, but he couldn’t help feeling irritated when he saw Ginny and Draco dancing together.

Damn that Draco Malfoy! he thought. Damn him to hell! He makes my life a living hell! Well, he’ll pay for this. Oh yes, he will pay.

"Voldie, why don’t you come to bed?" a sly, sexy voice whispered.

Voldemort whirled around and sighed heavily at the sight he saw. His lover, Michael Bay, was lying on the red silk sheets of their bed wearing nothing but a pair of heart print boxer shorts. He patted the bed seductively. "Come on, Voldie. Get your white ass into bed and let’s get it on!"

Voldemort sighed heavily again. "Is sex the only thing you think about, Michael?"

"What’s with you, Voldie? We haven’t done the nasty in a few days!"

"Michael, sometimes I think you’re thinking about someone else when we’re making love."

"Voldie, your ass is as whiter than a blizzard and you barely have a face. Who else am I gonna think you are? Michael Jackson? Although you two do seem to look like twins…"

"I just wish our relationship could be based more than just sex, Michael."

Michael looked confused. "What do you mean? I thought you liked it when I hump you."

"I do, Michael! I like it very much!" Voldemort’s cheeks turned red. "It’s just that, I want to show my love in more than one way for you. In fact, I wrote a song for you."

"You wrote a song for me?" Michael looked genuinely touched.

"Yes, would you like to hear it?"

Ron and Hermione had been dancing for quite a few minutes when they decided to take a break. Ron managed to still have a good time, even though he kept an eye on his sister and Malfoy. Ron went to get them some pumpkin juice and Hermione chatted with Lavender as she nibbled on a cauldron cake.

I believe in miracles! Where you from? You sexy thing!

I believe in miracles! Since you came along, you sexy thing!

Mervin Crunk was waving his arms in the air, his fat gut jiggling as he came dancing towards Hermione singing along with the song.

"Oh, God, please no." Hermione buried her face in her hands.

Lavender stifled a giggle, gave Hermione a sympathetic pat on the shoulder and went to dance with her date, Seamus.

"Hey, you sexy thing," Mervin said as he grabbed about five cauldron cakes and stuffed them in his mouth all at once. "Ready to dance now?" Food sprayed from his mouth and Hermione put her hands in front of her head.

"Mervin, I already told you! I don’t want to dance with you now and I don’t want to dance with you later!"

Mervin just grinned like an idiot at her. "That’s what you say now, but just you wait. You’ll want to dance with me before this night is over!"

"You guys, check out McGonagall!" Fred giggled as he pointed to their house’s headmaster.

Professor McGonagall was dressed like a gypsy witch wearing lots of clanky jewelry and a long flowing dress. It looked like she had already had too much butterbeer because she was dancing, REALLY dancing with Professor Dumbledore who was dressed up like Gandalf from the Lord of the Rings books.

She talks like she walks and she walks like she talks!

She bangs! She bangs! She moves! She moves!

She looks like a flower and stings like a bee

Like every girl in history!

"Wow, McGonagall really knows how to get down!" George said in amazement.

"I don’t think I really want to picture Professor McGonagall getting down!" said Angelina.

* * * * *

Mervin Crunk stood in the corner, checking out Hermione as she swung her beautifully shaped behind from side to side. She looked mighty FYNE. As Mervin was taken by her curvaceous body, he slowly approached her in a trance-like state, as if it were hypnotic. He walked closer and closer, hands stretched out towards her…

Just then Hermione let out a loud scream. "Ewwwww! Mervin, get away from me or Ron will kick your ass."

* * * * *

"Screw you, Mervin! You ain’t getting none of this hot bod! I belong to Ron!"

* * * * *

Snape was one of the chaperones at the party. He had no idea why he’d agreed to come to this silly party. So far he had managed to stay in a corner, munching on snacks and drinking butterbeer and keeping an eye on the students. He groaned and rolled his eyes when he saw Professor Pervin Crunk coming his way.

"Great party, eh Snape?" Crunk took a handful of Bernie Botts jellybeans and shoved them in his mouth. Snape could smell a great deal of butterbeer on his breath. "So what are you suppose to be?" Crunk asked, food spraying everywhere from his mouth. "A gay vampire?"

Snape stared icily at him. "No. I didn’t have time to find a costume for this silly party. What kind of ridiculous get up are you wearing?"

Crunk was wearing a white shirt and black suspenders and white gloves. His face was painted white and he had on bright red lipstick.

"I’ll give you a hint," he said, then started to move his hands and imitate as if he were trapped in a box.

Snape rolled his eyes. "Of course. How could I have missed it? You’re a mime."

"Hand me a glass of butterbeer, will ya?"

"Don’t you think you’ve already had enough to drink?"

"Are you kidding me? I weight 300 pounds! It’s gonna take a lot of drinks before I get drunk!"

* * * * *

Ron and Hermione finally took a break from dancing and went over to chat with Harry. They were holding hands and smiling at each other.

"Who do you guys think will win the best costume award?" Hermione asked.

"Well, we all know it sure as hell won’t be Harry!" Ron said.

"And it won’t be Mervin Crunk either. He thinks he looks like Brad Pitt!" Hermione rolled her eyes. "Please!"

"Looks like Britney Spears thinks he does," Ron said grinning at the two who were snogging.

"Eww!" cried Hermione. "I think I’m going to be sick."

Ron suddenly frowned.

"What’s wrong?" Harry asked.

"Where’s Ginny? I don’t see her. Or Draco."

"Maybe she went to the bathroom," said Hermione.

"Both of them?" Ron asked uncertainly. "Harry, you didn’t see them go somewhere, did you?"

Harry shook his head. "Last time I saw them, they were dancing."

"Oh crap…if that creep lays a hand on my sister…I gotta go find them."