Making Mistakes

Ginny was brushing her hair the next morning when Harry walked into the bedroom and dumped a bag on the unmade bed. He sat on the edge of the bed. 'Your choice, Gin. If you want to stay here with James, that's fine, but you know how I feel about it.'

Ginny looked at the bag. It was the one she had used when the Harpies played for the European championships the year before she stopped playing. 'We'll go,' she said quietly, turning the brush over in her hands. Harry nodded shortly and slid off the bed.

Ginny watched curiously as he methodically unpacked the clothing he had put in it less than twenty-four hours earlier. He closed the wardrobe door and gestured to the now-empty bag. 'You should pack for a couple of weeks. If you need something -'

'If I need something I can come back for it.' Ginny dropped her hairbrush on the small vanity and opened the wardrobe Harry had just closed. She rummaged around in it, pulling out most of what Harry had just put back in. Ginny stacked the clothing on the bed neatly, and turned to the other bureau that held Harry's clothes. She took out one of his older t-shirts and laid it next to the rest of her clothes, ignoring the question on his face. She went back to her wardrobe and took out a few things Harry hadn't thought to pack, like the nightdress that wasn't quite so threadbare and her nicer dressing gown. She found a pair of shoes she could just slip on her feet and not bother with laces. 'Why?' she asked. 'Why are you giving me the choice now?'

Harry shrugged. 'You were right last night. I should have talked to you before making any kind of decisions that affect both of us and James. And you're almost twenty-five and perfectly capable of packing your own clothing.'

'Thanks,' she replied dryly. Ginny put the shoes into the bottom of the bag, then began to stow the rest of the clothing inside. 'I can put the rest of my things in tomorrow morning,' she said, tugging the zipper closed. She went to the window and stared at the early-morning sun highlighting the drifts of mist that lay over the rolling hills and valleys around Godric's Hollow. 'One of us should go wake James,' she said. 'Before it gets too late and he won't go down for a nap later.'

'In a minute.' Harry rested his hands on either side of her hips and bent his head so he nuzzled the top of her head. 'What do you want to do today?'

'Nothing, really.' Ginny gave Harry a one-shouldered shrug.

'Come on, Gin, you have to want to do something,' he coaxed.

Ginny turned around, pushing him back a few paces. 'I don't want to do anything special,' she said evenly. 'I don't want to think about it until I have to, all right? This is just a normal day, like every other day.' She brushed past him and went to James' room.

James was still asleep, his thumb embedded in his puckered mouth. Ginny bent over the cot, and brushed her hand over James' hair. It was still baby-fine and feathery, but it was going to be just like his father's - thick and unruly. Ginny shook him a little. 'Hey, James,' she crooned. 'Time to wake up, sweetie.'

James blinked, his dark blue eyes hazy with residual drowsiness. 'Mummeee,' he mumbled, before turning his face into the mattress of the cot, and rubbing it back and forth for a moment. He pushed himself into a sitting position and patted blindly for the dummy tangled in the quilt and pushed it into his mouth. Satisfied, he held out his arms, and Ginny swung him to the floor. James ran out of the room and bounced off Harry's knees. 'Dahdee,' he said around the nub of the dummy clenched between his teeth.

Harry bent down and picked up James. 'Let's see if we need a fresh nappy, shall we?' he asked his son, wrinkling his nose at the heavy, soggy feeling of James' nappy as he lifted him to a changing table. 'Is it too soon to start house-training him, do you think?' he asked Ginny as he unsnapped James' pajamas, gingerly peeling the wet nappy off James' bum. James pulled the dummy from his mouth and grinned toothily at his father.

Ginny handed Harry a dry nappy. 'Depends on James, don't you think?' She leaned against the table while Harry applied a layer of talcum powder to James before pinning the nappy on. 'Teddy was what? Almost three? Then Vic was a bit younger than two. About James' age, I think.' Ginny rummaged in a cupboard for some clothes to put on James. 'The twins are still in nappies,' she added. 'And they're only a few months older than James.'

'Can I just say I'm grateful we're not having twins?' Harry remarked, as he slid the soft khaki fabric up James' pudgy legs and over his bottom.

'That makes two of us,' Ginny muttered.

Harry set James on the floor, after he pulled a tiny Tutshill sweatshirt over James' head. Keeping a firm grip on his son's hand, Harry released the gate at the top of the stairs, and let James carefully go down the stairs, one riser at a time. 'I'll go to London later,' he threw over his shoulder. 'Pick up some Thai food for dinner from our place in Soho.'

'Nothing spicy, please.' Ginny sighed. 'Bun here doesn't like spicy lately.'

*****

Ginny watched Harry read a story to James before they put him to bed. She yawned widely, belatedly remembering to cover her mouth. Harry looked at her from over the top of the book, an eyebrow raised in inquiry. Ginny shook her head and leaned against Harry, the three of them tucked together in the armchair Harry had enlarged for them. James drowsed, his small head bumping Ginny's shoulder. Ginny reached over and smoothed her hand over his head and lightly rubbed his back, before letting her eyes close.

It had been as close to a normal day as possible, marred only by the knowledge of Harry's upcoming departure Sunday morning. The Quidditch season was drawing to a close and Ginny hadn't had to go to a game. The Harpies would have their team for the next season in place by July, so Ginny would have to write profiles of each player, but that was at least a month away. 'Ready for bed, Gin?' Harry asked softly, his lips next to her ear.

'Yeah.'

Harry carefully slid out of the chair and lifted James into his arms, turning to lay the sleeping toddler in the cot. Ginny followed him out of the room and into theirs. She brushed her teeth and stretched out in the bed, heaving a sigh in relief as her body relaxed and the pressure on her lower back lessened. She fell asleep waiting for Harry to finish in the bathroom.

Harry flicked the light switch off and stopped in the doorway. Ginny was sound asleep, one hand flung over his pillow, the other resting on the bulge of the baby. He settled into the armchair in the corner of the room, and used his wand to dim the light. The cool May breeze made the filmy curtains billow into the room, giving it a dream-like quality.

He stared at Ginny, far into the night, until his eyes watered and burned, trying to brand the image of her into his brain. False dawn washed the vivid colors of the quilt and Ginny's hair to pale imitations when Harry finally crawled into bed.

*****

Harry held James' hand tightly in his. His knapsack was slung over one shoulder and Ginny had her and James' bags, shrunk to a more manageable size. 'Ready?' He looked at Ginny.

She took a deep breath, and took a handful of Floo powder. She threw it into the fireplace, saying firmly, 'The Burrow.' Harry watched her disappear in a swirl of emerald flames.

He squatted so he was eye-level with James. 'You're going to go stay with Grandmum and Granddad for a few days,' he told him. James didn't answer, but looked up at Harry, uncertainty written all over his face. Harry straightened and swung James into his arms. He took a handful of Floo powder and looked down at his son. 'Ready to go?' he asked softly, rubbing his nose against James'. Again, James was silent, but buried his face into Harry's shirtfront. Harry threw the Floo powder into the fireplace and said, 'The Burrow.' Then, he stepped into the flames, both arms wound around James.

*****

James didn't handle having his routine disrupted very well, but Harry ahd Ginny finally were able to give him a bath and begin the process of putting him to bed in the old, but still usable cot in Bill's old room. They had gently, but firmly rebuffed Molly and Arthur's offers of assistance. This was their last night together as a family for a while, Harry had said

Harry sat in the armchair that had been in Ginny's room when she was younger, reading to James. It was their nightly ritual: bath, story, and into bed. James, who had been uncharacteristically quiet all afternoon, clutched his stuffed black dog, idly toying with the chewed ears. Harry set him in the cot, and bent to kiss him. 'G'night, James.'

'Nih-nih, Dahdee.' James lay on his back, looking at the ceiling. ' 'Tar, Dahdee,' he whined, pointing to the bare ceiling.

Harry raised his eyes. The ceiling in James' room was charmed to have twinkling stars at night. Harry pulled his wand from his pocket and muttered a few words, sweeping the tip in an arc. Tiny, golden pinpricks of light glowed on the ceiling. A smile blossomed on James' face. Harry took the opportunity to slip out of the room. He could say his goodbyes to his son later.

He still had nine hours left before he had to leave.

*****

Harry closed the door to Ginny's childhood bedroom, and leaned against it, watching her turn the magically-widened bed down. 'You have no idea how much I wanted to do this when I was seventeen,' he quipped, trying to lighten the increasingly somber mood between the two of them.

Ginny glanced at him over her shoulder. 'What? Sleep with a fat, pregnant woman?'

'No.' Harry pushed off the door, and went to stand behind Ginny, pulling her back against him. 'To make love with you.' He pushed Ginny's hair away from her neck, and kissed the skin under her ear. 'I always wondered how far we would have gotten if Ron hadn't interrupted us on my birthday.'

Ginny snorted. 'If it hadn't been Ron, it would have been someone one else.'

Harry's hands dipped to the buttons of her nightdress, fingers working the tiny buttons through the buttonholes. 'Good thing they're not here, then.' He slid his hands across the expanse of skin exposed by the gaping front of the nightdress, and grasped the sleeves, tugging the garment off, so it pooled at her feet.

Ginny turned questioningly. 'Are you sure you want to? Don't you need to get some sleep?'

Harry's breath hissed between his clenched teeth. It was taking every scrap of control he had. 'Ginny, in the morning, I'm going to leave and go sit and watch and wait until this miserable excuse for humanity cocks up.' He cupped her face in both hands and tilted it up. 'God, yes, I want to,' he murmured, before his mouth closed over hers.

Ginny began to work the old t-shirt up Harry's torso, and broke the kiss long enough to pull it over his head. She eased the boxers down, smiling as his skin shivered in the wake of her fingertips. She pulled him down to the bed with her.

To Ginny, it felt as if Harry thought this was the last time he'd ever see her. His hands and mouth roamed over her body, like he was trying to memorize the contours of breast and hip. Ginny gasped as his lips closed around newly-sensitive skin, and her fingers laced through his hair, urging him closer. She could feel him come closer and closer to the edge, only to stop and slowly back away.

It could have been five minutes or five hours, swimming in the sensation of their bodies. Ginny found she didn't care. She felt the blood pound in her ears, and opened her eyes, gazing down at Harry, watching his face as he slowly moved inside her. The hair around his face was damp with sweat. His eyes were wide open, the bright green deepening to the shade of the pines in the Scottish Highlands around the school. Her fingers laced through his, and she felt edge of his wedding ring press into her skin, as his fingers tightened on hers. 'Let go,' she whispered. 'Just let go.'

Harry shuddered at the sound of her voice. He couldn't hold back much longer, and the husky sounds of her voice only unleashed something primal deep within himself. He pulled her head down, and barely had time to beg, 'Kiss me,' before he climaxed, the harsh groan muffled by Ginny's mouth.

Ginny leaned her head on Harry's shoulder, shivering as his fingers lazily traced up her back, unable to move just yet. Harry pressed light kisses to any part of her face and shoulder he could reach. Ginny slowly eased to one side of Harry, whimpering at the loss of bodily contact.

*****

It was after midnight. Harry lay awake, curled on his side watching Ginny sleep. One of his hands spread over her bulging middle. 'I need... I have something I need to say to you,' he whispered to her, almost soundlessly, his throat closing around the words. Knowing he would weep with the effort of trying to say them, he shifted his attention to the baby. 'I'm going to miss so much with you. Even if I'm only gone a few days, it's still too much. There are so many things about my parents and godfather that I want to tell you, like I did with your brother. And we can't forget Quidditch.

'But I'll be back soon. I promise. We'll have all the time in the world to talk about those things.' Harry shifted a bit, trying not to wake Ginny. 'You do have a family that adores you. Even if I don't...' Harry swallowed the lump that appeared in his throat. 'You will be loved and cared for, Bun. That I can promise you.' Harry slowly exhaled, and his eyes drifted shut.

He slept fitfully, unwilling to fall into a deep sleep. More often than not, he gazed at Ginny's sleeping form, in a state halfway between dreams and wakefulness, restraining himself from waking her. She needed the sleep more than he did.

There were only five hours left.

*****

Harry was fully conscious well before sunrise, stifling a groan as he stretched, his hand splayed over Ginny's abdomen. He could feel the baby gently stretch inside Ginny, the nudges tapping against his palm. His skin tingled as a thrill ran up Harry's arm. He cautiously knelt over Ginny, his face hovering a hairsbreadth over her swollen belly. 'I'm going to go away for a while now, Bun. So try not to give your mum a hard time, eh? I've asked her to put up with an awful lot lately, so be good, all right?' His hand slowly rubbed in circles over her skin.

Ginny slowly came awake. Harry's movements had jarred her to consciousness. She felt Harry's caressing hand still as she opened her eyes. Harry drew in a sharp breath. This was when Harry thought she was the most beautiful - still drowsy with sleep, and her eyes heavy-lidded, hair spread across the pillow in a sunburst of color. He let his head rest on her stomach, and her hand stroked his hair. Harry pulled her hand to his mouth and nibbled her fingers.

Ginny moved restlessly. His mouth moved to her wrist, tongue flicking the sensitive skin, sending jolts to the core of her body. 'Do you have time?' she whispered, not wanting to make more noise than necessary and break the aura surrounding the bed.

Harry lifted his head and squinted at the watch on his wrist. It was only four-thirty. 'Yeah. I don't need to leave for an hour.' He pulled himself up to her pillow.

'You didn't get much sleep,' she observed.

'Neither did you.'

Ginny turned so she spooned against Harry. She felt him start in surprise. Ginny looked over her shoulder. 'I miss the contact,' she said, almost apologetically. Harry didn't say anything, but gave her a hard sucking kiss at the base of her neck in reply.

*****

Reluctantly, Harry slid out of the bed, his body screaming in weariness. He was going to pay for it later, but he didn't care right now. Ginny watched him pick up his discarded boxers and pull them on, shivering slightly as the morning breeze swirled in through the open window. He reached for the neatly folded clothes on Ginny's old desk, and pulled them on, sitting on the edge of the bed to put on his socks. 'No shower?' Ginny asked in surprise.

Harry looked down at her, and shook his head. 'No,' he said mildly. He bent to kiss Ginny. 'I won't be able to write to you or anything,' he said softly. Ginny swallowed hard, and nodded. 'I should be home before the baby's born.' He paused and clutched her hand. 'If anything,' he paused and slowly drew in a deep breath. 'If anything happens to me, the papers are in the bottom drawer of my desk at home.'

'Papers?' Ginny pushed the word past the lump in her throat.

Harry toyed with the edge of the sheet draped over Ginny. 'My will. Arrangements for...' He tried to swallow the lump that suddenly appeared in his own throat. 'Burial,' he finished.

'That's not going to happen,' Ginny told him fiercely, sitting up.

'Well, I hope not,' Harry replied, with a watery grin. He kissed Ginny with heartbreaking gentleness before he rose from the bed. 'Go back to sleep, Gin.' His fingers combed through her tumbled hair. 'I'll see you,' he choked, unable to say the word, "goodbye".

He slipped out of the room, and went to Bill's old room, where James slept. Harry crouched next to the cot, and watched his son sleep for several minutes. 'Hey, mate,' he whispered. His hand drifted through the railing of the cot, and rested on the top of James' messy black hair. 'Take care of Mummy, okay? She won't admit she needs it, but do it anyway.' His eyes stung with unshed tears, and he pinched the bridge of his nose to stem the tears that threatened to fall. 'I love you, James.' Harry stood up and bent over the cot, leaning over to kiss James' sleep-flushed cheek.

He walked out of the room, without a backward glance at James, knowing it would be harder to leave if he did. Harry swiftly descended the stairs, skillfully avoiding the ones that creaked the loudest, and went into the kitchen. Ginny was sitting at the table, clad in her dressing gown, a cup of tea steaming in front of her. 'I told you to go back to sleep,' he said, picking up his trainers next to the back door, and sitting down on a chair next to Ginny to tie the laces.

'I'm not sleepy,' she retorted, a wide yawn betraying her.

Harry rested his elbows on his knees and watched Ginny stare into her tea. He looked at his watch. He had five minutes left. He stood up and pulled Ginny to her feet. 'You know I love you, Ginevra,' he murmured.

'I know.' Ginny stretched up to softly kiss him.

Harry couldn't help himself. He pulled Ginny into the scullery, and tried to untie the sash of her dressing gown and undo his jeans at the same time. Unable to do it simultaneously, he cursed and hoisted Ginny to the countertop, then yanked the zipper of his jeans down impatiently, nearly slamming into her, as soon as he was free of his clothing.

It didn't take long. When it was over, Harry's head dropped to her shoulder, his breath harsh in her ears. 'I'm sorry,' he rasped.

'Don't be.' Ginny tightened her legs around his hips slightly, and turned her head to kiss Harry's mouth.

Reluctantly, Harry drew back and put his clothing to rights. He tenderly drew the edges of Ginny's dressing gown closed and shakily tied the sash into a knot. 'I love you, Ginny,' he whispered. 'I'll be back, soon. I promise.'

Ginny nodded, tears trembling on her lashes. 'I love you.' She gently pushed him toward the door. 'Go on, then. Before I won't let you go.'

Harry picked up his knapsack by the back door, and walked into the garden. Ginny followed him, needing to watch him leave. Harry quickly strode to the garden gate and the boundary to where he could Apparate.

The last thing he saw was Ginny's hair, glowing in the gloomy, overcast morning.