Whose Line Is It Anyways?: HP Style

Whose Line Is It Anyway?: HP Style

~Chapters 4 and 5-Hoedown and Superheroes ~

Remus: For the next game we are doing a Hoedown. It will be performed for us by Minerva McGonagall on the Keyboard and Sirius Black on the Electric Guitar.

*Sirius stands up and bows to the cheering audience while McGonagall rolls her eyes. Meanwhile the panel stands in a line going Snape, Hermione, Ron and Harry.*

Remus: Now I need suggestions from the audience for what to sing about.

*Audience shouts things.*

Doctor

Cats

Snape

Teachers

Remus: Now no killing me Severus, but the sound of a Snape Hoedown is amusing.

*Snape mutters.* Not as amusing as the look on your face when you take the Wolfsbane potion next month.

Remus: Take it away. *The hoedown music starts.*

Snape: My given name is Severus Snape

Best potions master, ever of late

Those stupid Gryffindors are quite a bore.

They deserve to fail, not something more

*The Dream Team gives each other mischievous smiles as they start to do-si-do.*

Hermione:

Me and my pals are in Snape's potions class.

We Gryffindors are worried he wouldn't let us pass.

I always must wonder if Snape will get with the act.

I know the stinking answer you chauvinistic prat.

*Everyone is laughing except for the glaring Snape.*

Ron:

Severus Snape is as slimy as a git can be.

He's the worst potions master in Hogwarts history.

Taking points from Gryffindor without a single care.

The ugly overgrown bat needs to clean his filthy hair.

*Audience cheers.*

Harry:

From the first day that I went to potions class.

Snape has tried to ensure that I wouldn't ever pass.

Year after year he hasn't ever won.

But what he doesn't realize is that I'm a Marauder's son.

*Snape pouts and crosses his arms like a two year old that was put in time out.*

All minus Snape: I'm a Marauder's son!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Audience breaks out laughing and cheering wildly.*

Remus: Well, I must say Severus, I've never seen your face so red...ever.

Snape: I've never been so insulted in my whole life! I'm a respectable professor; I don't need to spend anymore time amongst you...Gryffindors!!

Remus: But Snape, we have a contract, you signed it.

Snape: Only because your "friend" *glances at a grinning Sirius* threatened blackmail.

Remus: Well if you refuse to be in the show then you just must find me a replacement, we need four panelists after all.

Snape: I may just do that.

*The screen goes blank and that annoying "this is a test" siren blares obnoxiously.*


Remus: Welcome back to Whose Line Is It Anyway?

*The audience cheers.*

Remus: And filling in for Snape, is none other than Draco "I was a ferret once" Malfoy.

*Audience applauds as the sneering blonde boy walks out. Draco and Harry exchange deadly glares.*

Remus: *Notices this exchange.* Ok you two, save the death threats for later. Ok, for our next game tonight we are doing Superheroes. Draco you are a superhero who needs to solve a problem with the assistance of the other three. Now what problem should our heroes solve?

*Audience yells random things.*

All the nail clippers have disappeared.

Birdies have been kidnapped.

Remus: Alright then. Hmm. we will do the nail clipper disappearance. Now what is superhero Malfoy going to be called?

*Random things yelled again.*

Ferret Boy

Captain Insanity

Sergeant Sentimental

Remus: Those are good ones.As much as Ferret Boy suits you.*Draco glares and the trio start cracking up.* I think we will go with Captain Insanity. When you are ready you may go try to solve the nail clipper disappearance and the others will come in one at a time.

Draco: Ah just an average day in the life of me...CAPTAIN INSANITY!!! MWAHAHAHAHA...ha.

*Draco looks possessed for a moment and then resumes his normal look.

Draco: Oh no what peril. What evil mastermind besides me of course could have made the nail clippers go...POOF! Hahahahaha.*coughs* ha. Anyways I'm going to need some help.*

*Hermione walks up.*

Draco: It's a good thing you are here...Blonde Bimbo Girl!

*Hermione saunters forward with her hands on her hips. Then she fluffs her hair.*

Hermione: I'm like ready to like save the day. What's the like problem? *Pretends to apply lip gloss.*

Draco: The nail clippers have gone POOF!! Hehehe!

*Hermione screams in horror looking like Scream.*

Hermione: How am I like going to like keep my cuticles at like a perfect length without nail clippers?!?

Draco: There there, you could use some thing else...like a knife!!! MWAHAHAHA!

Hermione: Umm you can like leave me alone. You're like freaking me out and I think you like need help.

Harry: Did someone say help?

Hermione: Thank goodness you are like here...Bird Watcher Boy!

Harry: Oh look...birdie in the sky. *Points and looks up.* Doo doo in my eye! *Wipes eye.*

Draco: Really? Anyways the nail clippers went...POOF! Hahaha!

Hermione: You know that like got old like after the first time you said it!

Harry: *Rubbing eyes still.* Can someone help me?

Ron: You rang?

Harry: It's a good thing you are here Spazz Boy.

Ron: *Talks really fast and rapidly getting louder.* Are you sure it's good I'm here. I could not be here and the problem wouldn't get solved. Or maybe it's a good thing I'm here because I can help. But maybe its not. And what if that psycho *Points at Draco.* kills me. Will any of you care...or is it a conspiracy! *Looks cautiously at the other three.*

Harry: Man you talk as fast as a Warbling Vireo! Though your hair is the color of a male Cardinal's plumage.

Ron: Are you making fun of me? STOP MAKING FUN OF ME! I can't handle people making FUN OF ME! *Glares at the laughing audience and then runs away.*

Draco: *Yells at Ron's retreating figure.* Hey it's my job to yell! So what are we going to do about the clippers that went POOF!

Harry: You can shut up you old crow...nobody cares about the nail clippers. *Pauses for a moment and listens intently.* Yay! I hear the call of the Great Crested Flycatcher, must go. *Leaves.*

Hermione: I am like so outta here, it's like time for my manicure.*Walks like a model on a runway back to her seat.*

Draco: Another problem solved...wait a minute!?!

*Buzz.*

Remus: That was great you guys! I am giving 400 hundred points to Hermione to make up for all the brain cells she must have lost saying the word "like" a billion times.